So I found out King K Rools penis size. And did all the math. So the average length (height) of a saltwater crocodile is 15 feet long. The average weight of a saltwater crocodile is 2,200 pounds. The average penis size of a saltwater crocodile of 15.69 inches. The height of K Rool is 5.75 feet (5ft 9in) and his weight is 308 pounds. Therefore, K Rool is 0.2615 the size of a normal saltwater crocodile (he is a saltwater crocodile) making his penis 5.783 inches.
So, you know that rabbit from Zootopia? Yeah, I genuinely don't think that cooch ever ends. It's a black hole that goes on forever, because I've seen yiff where she gets fucked by a dude who has a cock that's almost twice her size, yet she still manages to both stay alive and experience pleasure from what other beings would be a certain death, I don't even think she has any organs other that her genitals, and even then, how does the dick not come out to the other side? It's almost as if the dick enters a wormhole or something like that.
I swear man, that coochie's lovecraftian. It scares me...
I think my child might be british. Where did I go wrong in all of this??? What steps can I take to save him?
I noticed it back in July when he seemed grumpy for our fourth of july picnic. Since then, he's been steadily getting a south L*ndon accent, drinking tea, and watching soccer. The other day I heard him call one of his friends "bruv" on the phone (which he now calls the TELLY for fucks sake!)
WHAT DO I DO???
Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
I WANT TO SERVE PANDEMONICA SO BAD, I WANT HER TO BREAK MY FINGERS LIKE TINY NOODLES! I WANT TO EAT EVERY MEAL OF MY LIFE OFF HER FAT ASS! I WANT HER TO LEGLOCK ME AND FORCE ME TO DUMP MY CUM IN HER RUMP EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! I WANT PANDEMONICA TO FUCK FUCK FUCK ME!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!!! PLEASE GOD FUCK, I WANT HER TO MAKE ME BUST ENDLESS NUTS IN HER TIGHT DEMON WOMB!!!!! I WANT TO SWEETEN HER COFFEE WITH MY CUM! FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!! I WANT HER TO TREAT ME LIKE A FUCKING SLAVE! I WANT TO TASTE EVERY SINGLE INCH OF HER BODY! OOOHHH MYYYYYYY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!! PLEASE I WANT PANDEMONICA TO FUCK; I WANT HER TO FUCK ME PLEASE PLEASE!!!!! IF I HAD A CHANCE TO GET FUCKED BY PANDEMONICA I WOULD BECOME A SUBMISSIVE BITCH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! I WOULD CUM ONLY WHEN SHE ALLOWS ME TOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE OMMMGG IM SO HORNY WHEN I SEE PANDEMONICA! I CANT STAND IT, I WANT TO SERVE PANDEMONICA, I HAVE TO SERVE PANDEMONICA! I WILL NEVER CUM UNLESS SHE ALLOWS ME TO! HELP ME SERVE PANDEMONICA, IM SO HORNY FOR HER ASS!!! OMG PLEASE FUCK FUCK FUUUUCK OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!! IMAGINE BLENDING HER COFFEE RIGHT, AND AT THE END OF THE DAY SHE ORDERS YOU TO TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS, AND SITS ON YOUR DICK WITH HER FAT DEMON SECRETARY ASS! I WOULD BE STRINING CUM, SHOOTING FAT ROPES EVERY TIME SHE CALLS ME A PATHETIC SLAVE! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! I WANT TO SERVE PANDEMONICA!!!! I WANT TO SERVE PANDEMONICA!!!!