Skip to content

J.D. Vance

    Comment
    byu/plz-let-me-in from discussion
    inpolitics
    I went to elementary school with JD Vance, or JD Bowman as he was known then. He wet his bed until he was 13 and we all called him JP Soakman. That's the real reason he changed his name to JD Vance. But then we just called him JP Pants and he left our school. 

    From an NBA copypasta specifically about Tyronn Lue ordering two different bowls of soup but has spread into other communities due to its bizarre nature.

    No one is going to believe me, but I have a friend whose brother's coworker briefly dated JD Vance. She said that on their first date they went to a restaurant and JD Vance ordered two different bowls of soup and mixed them together one spoonful at a time before eating both bowls mixed together as one soup 

    Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8?

      Its a parody of the Navy Seal copypasta but changed into Bri’ish.

      Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin’ & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil bellend w/ a fit mum & fakebling. ill waste u and smash a fokin bottle oer yer head bruv, i swer on me mum. ya think u can fokin run ya gabber at me whilst sittin on yer arse behind a lil screen? think again wanka. im callin me homeboys rite now preparin for a proper scrap. A roomble thatll make ur nan sore jus hearin about it. yer a waste bruv. me crew be all over tha place & ill beat ya to a proper fokin pulp with me fists wanka. if i aint satisfied w/ that ill borrow me m8s cricket paddle & see if that gets u the fok out o’ newcastle ya daft kunt. if ye had seen this bloody fokin mess commin ye might a’ kept ya gabber from runnin. but it seems yea stupid lil twat, innit? ima shite fury & ull drown in it m8. ur ina proper mess know! 

      Good game everyone! You guys were kinda embarrasing not gonna lie

        Good game everyone! You guys were kinda embarrasing not gonna lie, but thank you for the free elo and good luck on ur next game because you are definitely gonna need it. This game felt like a deathmatch tbh or more like a game in the range against the practice bots. I recommend you guys Aimlabs or the range to help improve your aim because it was kinda terrible... in all honesty you might want to consider uninstalling. Anyways thank you for the free win and good game u absolute BOTS.

        Good ending

        Good game everyone! You guys were kinda cracked not gonna lie, but thank you for playing and good luck in life because you are definitely gonna do some great things in your future. This game felt like a scrim tbh or more like a game in VCT against pro players. I recommend you guys start streaming because your skill level is kinda insane... in all honesty you might want to consider going pro. Anyways thank you for the good practice and good game u absolute LEGENDS. 

        Wait they added LGBTQ aspects into this show that used to be godly?

          Wait they added LGBTQ aspects into this show that used to be godly? What had the world come too. They can live their life in peace and we wouldn’t give a damn or cause problems for them, but to force feed us into shows that shaped our childhood and will shape others is disgusting. Percy jackson, ninjago, the little mermaid, SpongeBob etc. this shit is infuriating bro, what the fuck am I gonna put on for my future kids or my nephew or cousins. Cocomelon? Lmfaoooo this is so weird. Force feeding their agenda into shit that is our culture. Unbelievable. 

          Ach Berlin. Was ist Berlin?

            Its an old German meme from 2017 where the original post roasted Berlin as a city compared other EU cities describing it as shameful and its people lazy. The copypasta is often brought up whenever Berlin is mentioned usually in EU communities.

            Ach Berlin. Was ist Berlin? Berlin ist die Stadt für die man sich als Deutscher auf internationaler Bühne schämen muss. Wenn man Berlin mit anderen europäischen Hauptstädten wie London, Paris, Madrid und Amsterdam vergleicht, treibt es jedem anständigen Menschen die Schamesröte ins Gesicht. Selbst kleine Länder wie Österreich, Belgien oder die Schweiz haben mit Wien, Brüssel und Zürich international vorzeigbare Städte mit hoher Lebensqualität. Deutschland ist gestraft mit Berlin, der Hauptstadt der Versager. Berlin beheimatet mit Abstand am meisten Arschlöcher in der gesamten Republik. Deutsche Bahn, Bundestag, Air Berlin und der Axel Springer Verlag sind nur einige Beispiele für den unfähigen Abschaum der hier beherbergt wird.
            
            Glorreiche Zeit sind schon längst vorbei, diese Stadt liegt am Boden. Der Berliner an sich ist durch und durch ein fauler Lump. Charaktereigenschaften die in jedem zivilisierten Kulturkreis als pure Faulheit, Unfreundlichkeit, Unfähigkeit, dissoziale Persönlichkeitsstörung und Dummheit gelten, erklärt der Berliner kurzerhand zur Berliner Wesensart. Ein weiteres zentrales Merkmal ist der alles beherrschende Minderwertigkeitskomplex. Deswegen projiziert der Berliner auf jeden der in irgendeiner Weise besser ist als er, massive Hassgefühle. Besonders die ihm in allen Belangen haushoch überlegenen Süddeutschen sind ihm ein Dorn im Auge. Er neidet ihnen den Erfolg und München steht ganz oben auf seiner Hassliste. Diese Stadt ist alles und hat alles was der Berliner gerne wäre und hätte. Das München dem Berliner sein Lotterleben finanziert, interessiert den Berliner nicht, er glaubt sogar insgeheim er hätte es verdient. Anstatt sich aus seiner aus Neid und Missgunst entstehenden Lethargie zu befreien und seine Stadt umzukrempeln, ergeht er sich in asozialen Schmarotzertum und hält noch große Stücke auf seine vermeintliche Weltstadt.
            
            Kulturell ist Berliner eher schwach veranlagt, große Werke liegen lang zurück. Auch gilt hier bereits das Aussprechen des Buchstaben »g« als »j« als große Kulturleistung. Fortgeschrittene beherrschen sogar das Anhängen eines »wa?« an den Ende eines jeden Satzes. Das Leistungsniveau in der Küche bewegt sich auf überschaubarem Niveau. Eine Wurst aus gemahlenem Seperatorenfleisch mit Ketchup und Currygewürz wird hier als Currywurst und als kulinarischer Geniestreich verkauft. Jeder vernünftig denkende Mensch hält eine Wurst mit Ketchup wohl kaum für den heiligen Gral der Küchenkunst und wahrscheinlich noch nicht einmal für ein Rezept. Großzügig lässt der Rest der Republik den Berliner in diesem Glauben um seine Minderwertigkeitskomplexe nicht überhand nehmen zu lassen.
            
            Wirtschaftlich ist Berlin ein einziges Desaster, selbst die späte DDR stand solider da. Ansonsten fußt die Berliner Wirtschaft auf alternativen Blogs, irgendwas mit Medien und Genderstudies wenn man den Universitäten glauben darf. Ungeachtet des wirtschaftlichen Bankrottes leistet sich der Berliner trotzdem Prestigeprojekte wie das Stadtschloss und einen Flughafen der mangels Funktionstüchtigkeit als Kunstprojekt gelten soll. Ebenso beherbergt diese Stadt sämtliche Zentralen der Volksparteien, die aus Marketinggründen auf das »Verräter« im Namen verzichten. Bürgermeister dieser Stadt war lange der lustige Wowibär der mit seiner Prestige&Prosecco Politik alles in den Abgrund riss, was noch halbwegs präsentabel war.
            
            Kurzum: Berlin ist der Fliesentisch Deutschlands. Es ist das für Deutschland, was Griechenland für die Europäische Union ist und hätte Berlin eine offene Kloake, wäre es das Rumänien Deutschlands. Berlin ist ein Schandfleck, der Pickel am Arsche Deutschlands. Berlin ist der Typ der ohne Einladung auf deine Party kommt, noch nicht mal Alkohol mitbringt und auch nicht versteht dass er nicht erwünscht ist wenn man ihm ein paar Zähne aus dem Gesicht klopft und die Treppe runterwirft. Berlin ist das Detroit Deutschlands und gehört für 200 Złoty an Polen verkauft.

            Oh, Berlin. What is Berlin? (English ver)

            Oh, Berlin. What is Berlin? Berlin, as a city, brings nothing but shame to Germany on the international stage. When comparing Berlin with other European capitals such as London, Paris, Madrid and Amsterdam, any decent human’s face must blush in humiliation. Even small countries like Austria, Belgium or Switzerland have Vienna, Brussels and Zurich: presentable cities, complete with high standards of living. Germany gets punished with Berlin, capital of losers. In all the republic, Berlin is home to the largest number of arseholes by far. Deutsche Bahn, Bundestag, Air Berlin and Axel Springer are but a few examples of all the incompetent scum being kept here. Glorious times have long since passed, the city is face down in the dirt. Berliners are lazy sods to their very core. Traits that would, in any civilised culture, pass for nothing but laziness, rudeness, incompetence, dissocial personality disorder or idiocy, are taken by the Berliner and declared a way of life. That is why the Berliner harbours intense feelings of hatred for anyone who’s better than him in any way. Especially the all-around superior Southern Germany are a thorn in his side. He envies their success, and Munich makes the top on his list of hatred. That city is – and has! – everything that Berlin wants to be and have. Berliners take no interest in the fact that it is Munich that finances their dissolute lifestyle, in fact, they secretly believe that they have earned it. So instead of freeing themselves from their envious and resentful lethargy, instead of rolling up their sleeves and improve their city, they revel in their antisocial freeloading and praise their so-called global city. Culturally, Berliners are set up rather weakly, great works lie far back in history. Moreover, mispronouncing “g” as “j” is considered a great cultural feat. Advanced students have mastered ending each and every sentence with a “wa?”. The city’s culinary performance is second-rate. Here, a sausage made from glued-together, meaty odds and ends adorned with ketchup and curry powder is sold as a culinary masterpiece. Hardly any reasonable person would consider a bratwurst with ketchup a recipe, let alone the holy grail of culinary arts. Yet, in their magnanimity, the rest of the republic lets the Berliner keep his delusion, not wanting to amplify his inferiority complex. Economically, Berlin is an utter disaster, even the late GDR stood on more solid ground. The local economy is based around alternative blogs, something-something-media and, if universities are to be believed, gender studies. Disregarding his own bankruptcy, the Berliner treats himself to prestigious projects like the city palace and the airport – which, considering its inoperative nature, is likely an art installation. Moreover, the city houses all popular parties’ headquarters, who refrain from using “traitors” in their official names (Probably for marketing reasons). For the longest time, this “town’s” “mayor”, the jolly Wowibear, butchered anything he found left in a presentable state. Long story short: Berlin is Germany’s tiled coffee table. It is to Germany what Greece is to the European Union, and if it had open sewerage, it would be Germanys Romania. Berlin is a blemish, the abscess on the arse of the nation. Berlin is the uninvited party guest, who didn’t even bring any booze and wouldn’t even understand he’s not welcome if he had is teeth beaten out and got thrown down the stairs. Berlin is the Detroit of Germany and should be sold to Poland for 200 Złoty. 

            I own a Bangvolver for home defense, since that’s what the Void Hunters intended.

              Bangboo copypasta from Zenless Zone Zero

              Parody of the “Own a musket for home defense” copypasta but changed to Bangboo from ZZZ.

              I own a Bangvolver for home defense, since that's what the Void Hunters intended.
              
              Four ruffians break into my house.
              
              "What the devil?" As I grab my bangvolver off the charger station. Blow a basketball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot.
              
              Sic my Rocketboo on the second man, miss him entirely because the rocket fins are fixed and nails the dog's newsstand.
              
              I have to resort to the chaingun turret mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with anti-Ethereal rounds.
              
              "Tally ho, lads."
              
              Amillion shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms.
              
              Grab Plugboo and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since rectangular socket wounds are impossible to stitch up.
              
              Just as the Void Hunters intended.