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I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Skif’s pistol.

    Stalker 2 Skif pistol copypasta

    Created by u/lawful-chaos, Its a variation of the Xiangling copypasta but changed into the Skif pistol from Stalker 2. 

    I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Skif’s pistol. I try to play UDP. Skif’s pistol deals more damage. I try to play AK-74M. Skif’s pistol deals more damage. I try to play AR416. Skif’s pistol deals more damage. I want to play a double barrel. It’s best paired with Skif’s pistol. I want to play sawed-off, Viper-5. They both want Skif’s pistol.

It grabs me by the throat. I repair it. I buy ammo for it. I give it upgrades. It isn’t satisfied. I find an extended magazine for it. “I don’t need this much bullets in the mag” It tells me. “Give me more targets.” It grabs me and forces me to throw myself at chimeras. “You just need to use me more. I can deal more damage with AP ammo.”

I can’t repair my AK, I don’t have enough coupons. I grab my legendary artefact. It doesn’t sell for enough money. “Guess this is the end.” I grab Skif’s pistol. It says “lawful-chaos, get them.” There is no hint of sadness in my eyes. Nothing but pure violent 9mm bulletstorm. What a cruel world.

    December emojipasta

      ITS DECEMBER AND ❤️🎅🏽🤶🏼 JOLLY OLD ST. THICCOLAS 🍆🍆 IS CUMMING TO TOWN🎄🎅🏼 TO LOOSEN UP RUDOLPH'S 🦌🦌BUSSY for a gaping chimney landing 😻🐾 and get ready to SLAY 🎯🎉 this Cuntmas 🎄🎁 season! Santa's CUMMIES 💦🍭 are gonna flood 🔥🔥 the stockings 🎀🧦 like never before! Frosty’s ice cold LOAD ⛄️⛄️💦 is just what you need for a WHITE Christmas ❄️🌨️🌌! Santa's reindeer are ALL HORNY 🦌🔥👀 and ready to RIDE 🍆🍆all night long 🎶💃🍑 Pray to the virgin King Jesus and let him RISE tonight!! 💅🏼💦💦 Let's deck the halls 😜💦💦with the saviors BALLS 🎶🏠 Save some MISTLETOE kisses 😘💋 that lead to SLEIGHing this ASS 🍑💥! Make me leak egg nog all night long daddy 😈💦😛 So, grab the XXXMAS💦💦 tree 🍹🍸 and hold onto that THICK veiny branch ❄️💦 because it's a JOLLY time for some NAUGHTY HO's to squirt 💦💦 on Santa’s Sack! 🙊🎉🍌! Get ready to SCREAM 🐷💦 like the naughty Christmas sluts 😈🧝‍♂️ we are, because Santa's got the CHIMNEY lubed up and FULL of surprises 🎁🌟🍆!!! Shake your booties bitch, it's time to jingle those BELLS 🔔🍑 and sip some HOliday JIZZ 🥂💦 If you don't share this with 10 of your sleigh-mazing slutty friends 🛷👯‍♀️, you’ll get LEFT OUT🍆🍆 of my merry little orgy!! 🎊❌🎉 Remember, it's the season to GET NICE 🎅🍆 So, let’s unwrap those BIG packages 🎁👀 and see what Santa has been packing! 😏🍌✨ MERRY 💅🏼💦CLITMAS 🎊💦🎅🏼, let's make it one orgasmic reason for the season!!! 😘💋🔥 
      SAY🗣GOODBYE 👋🏻TO 🦃HOEVEMBER🦃 CUS ITS OFFICIALLY 🍆DICKCEMBER🍆‼️ITS THE MOST 💦CUMDERFUL💦 TIME🕐 OF THE YEAR📅 AND SPANKA🍑 CLAUS 🎅🏻 IS CUMMING💦 TO TOWN👀🙌🏻I HOPE YOUVE 👉🏻BEEN A GOOD😏👍🏻GIRL👯‍♀️FOR 😩DADDY😩 SANTA🎅🏻🎅🏻 SO HE’LL FILL YOUR STOCKING🧦🎁 UP WITH HIS 😳CREAMY🤤EGGNOG🥛BUT WAIT🙀‼️‼️ LOOKS😤👀 LIKE YOURE ON👇🏻 THE 😈NAUGHTY😈 LIST📄‼️ ALL YOURE GETTING FROM 🎅🏻SAINT🎅🏻DICKOLAS🍆 THIS ❌XXX-MAS❌😩 IS SOME BIG 🖤BLACK🖤ROCKS😡😡 DADDY👨🏻 MIGHT HAVE A SPECIAL🤫😉PRESENT🎁 WAITING FOR YOU😌UNDER👇🏻👇🏻 THE 🍑CHRISTMASS🍑 TREE🎄IF YOU LICK👅 HIS CANDY🍭CANE😉 JUST RIGHT👌🏻💯 SEND THIS TO 2️⃣5️⃣ OF THE SLUTTIEST😼🙌🏻 HOE HOE 👯‍♀️ YOU KNOW OR 😱YOU 👉🏻WILL GET NO❌🚫💦CUMMIES💦 UNTIL NEXT YEAR📅‼️ 
      🎅 H⭕️E H⭕️E H⭕️E 🎅 TIS THE SEASONS ❄️☃️ FOR ALL THE GOOD 😇 LITTLE SLUTS 😈💦 TO GET THEIR 🍆👅💦 PERVERTED 🍑🍆💦 HOLIDAY 🎁 🎁 PRESENTS 🎁🎁 THIS YEAR 🗓 SEND THIS TO 1️⃣2️⃣ OF YOUR MOST 🤶 HOE-LLY 🤶 JOLLY WHORES 😜🍆 GET 0️⃣ BACK AND THE ONLY THING IN YOUR 🧦 STOCKING 🧦 IS A 🔒😭🔒 CHASTITY CAGE 🔒😭🔒 GET 6️⃣ BACK AND YOU'LL HAVE A MURRY 😻 COCKMAS 👅💦 GIVING HOE-LIDAY 💃 HEAD 👅🍆💦 TO YOUR FURRY 💄🦊🐺 REINDEER 🦌🦌🦌 DADDY 😋🍆💦 GET ALL 1️⃣2️⃣ BACK AND 🎅 DADDY CHRISTMAS 🎅 WILL PERSONALLY DELIVER 👉👌 YOU THE CONTENTS 💦💦 OF HIS 🍒 LARGE SACK 🍒 DIRECTLY FROM HIS ❗️🍆❗️ NORTH POLE ❗️🍆❗️

      Torture dance

        
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⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣶⣾⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⡶⣶⡿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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⠄⢀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣌⣿⣿⣿⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠻⣿⢿⢖⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠘⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢤⣴⣦⣄⣀⣀⣴⣿⡟⢿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠙⠻⠿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠈⢀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠋⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⠿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣶⣷⣿⣿⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠛⠟⢿⣤⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄

        
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⣠⣶⣶⣷⣿⣶⡊⠄⠄⣀⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣶⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡍⠁⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣴⣦⡤⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣿⣿⡯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣷⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢉⣻⣿⡇⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⡉⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣴⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡠⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣾⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣆⡀⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠂
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣾⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⢿⣿⣥⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣷⣿⣃⡀⢴⣿⣿⡿⣿⣍⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄

        You didn’t smell it did you? I hope not…

          Comment
          byu/billie_tate from discussion
          inwhatsthisplant
          You didn’t smell it did you? I hope not… when this plant senses heat source near it, ie mammals, it releases tiny spores. If inhaled they make their way into the sinus cavity, attach to the mucosa which is the way it gets into your bloodstream. Once in your bloodstream the spores begin to replicate. Basically you have now become the host, and it is now feeding off of you, taking over your body, you begin to become the plant. But before this process is complete, it will take control of your mind and have you go on a long hike so that as you begin the change from your head down, parts of you will fall off and take root along the hiking trails so that the next unsuspecting hiker comes along, says “Wow, how beautiful!”, gets down close for a good close-up shot and the whole thing starts all over again.

          Total Fumiko death

            Fumiko from CSM copypasta

            Its a variant of the TND copypasta but changed to Fumiko from Chainsaw Man. 

            Total Fumiko death. Kill Fumiko, Behead Fumiko. Roundhouse kick a lizard eyed bitch into the concrete. Slam dunk a Fumiko baby into the trashcan. Crucify filthy Fumiko. Defecate in Fumiko's food. Launch Fumiko into the sun. Stir fry Fumiko in a wok. Toss Fumiko into an active volcano. Urinate into Fumiko's wine. Judo throw Fumiko into a wood chipper. Twist Fumiko head off. Report Fumiko to the Nayuta council. Karate chop Fumiko in half. Curb stomp pregnant Fumiko. Trap Fumiko in quicksand. Crush Fumiko in the trash compactor. Liquify Fumiko in a vat of acid. Eat Fumiko. Dissect Fumiko, Exterminate Fumiko in a gas chamber. Stomp Fumiko skull with steel toed boots. Cremate Fumiko in the oven. Lobotomize Fumiko. Mandatory abortions for Fumiko. Grind half human, half Fumiko fetuses in the garbage disposal. Drown Fumiko in devil infested water. Vaporize Fumiko with devil contracts. Kick old Fumiko down the stairs. Feed Fumiko to fiends. Slice Fumiko in half with a chainsaw.

            FGO Glasses

              Fate Grand Order glasses copypasta

              Created by u/Radiant-Hope-469, its a Fubuki glasses inspired copypasta but told in Fate Grand Order terms.

              It is a sacred item that enjoys the unanimous support of some girls.The preciousness of its existence is already a microcosm in itself. It is no exaggeration to say that for a certain segment of the population, it is on the level of a treasured item in the world.In the world, a character who wears glasses is called "megane character," but there are various boundaries between the two. First, there are characters who always wear glasses. The definition of "character" varies greatly depending on whether the character "takes off" or "does not take off" glasses. That will be a test for the next time, so keep it in a corner of your memory.Anyway, the depth of glasses lies in the fact that they allow for all kinds of fantasies. The first impact when a character who always wears glasses takes them off. The second impact when a character who usually does not wear glasses puts them on. And the third impact when a character who usually does not wear glasses takes off his/her glasses.