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This subreddit ruined my life and now I’m getting a divorce

    Started from r/BatmanArkham, it was part of a series of shitposts of the Batman Arkham games. The original post then got parodied and adopted into different communities.

    Today my wife and I went to visit our 12 year old nephew in Hospital today, apparently he has a terminal disease or something, when I arrived I saw my nephew and I said to him “I like your haircut, you look just like Victor Zsasz”. A doctor then corrected me to tell me he actually had cancer, I told the doctor that I don’t believe in Astrology and it’s just a false concept.

Anyways, my nephew was hanging out with a bunch of his friends who also had cancer, there was maybe a group of 10 twelve year olds. and I saw one of them had a Batman shirt, and he looked really sad, so I thought I’d cheer him up. And as a member of this subreddit I remembered a few funny quotes that really got a lot of upvotes. So I said the first one that came to my mind. I put on my best Joker impression and yelled “STAND BACK FOOL, IVE GOT A BOMB”. To my shock not a single one of them even cracked a smile, within seconds I was tackled to the ground by one of the guards and I spent the rest of the night in jail for “bomb threat” or soemthjng like that, and jail was so boring, I thought it was be like being in the Alsume, but it was nothing like that, I was just locked in a small room for the night. I didn’t even see Hugo Strange, anyways when I went home my wife had divorce papers and told me to sign them. What do I do? Am I stupid? I love my wife and I don’t wanna divorce her. I hate feminism

    Ongezellig

    Today my wife and I went to visit our 12 year old nephew in Hospital today, apparently he has a terminal disease or something, when I arrived I saw my nephew and I said to him “I like your haircut, you look just like Koos”. A doctor then corrected me to tell me he actually had cancer, I told the doctor that I don’t believe in Astrology and it’s just a false concept. Anyways, my nephew was hanging out with a bunch of his friends who also had cancer, there was maybe a group of 10 twelve year old's. and I saw one of them had a zellig shirt, and he looked really sad, so I thought I’d cheer him up. And as a member of this cord I remembered a few funny quotes that really got a lot of gem emotes So I said the first one that came to my mind. I put on my best Mymy impression and yelled “death to the Belgians ”. To my shock not a single one of them even cracked a smile, within seconds I was tackled to the ground by one of the guards and I spent the rest of the night in a reeducation camp for “Hate speech” or something like that, and the camp was so boring, I thought it was gonna be like ongezellig. but it was nothing like that, I was just made to write essays for the night. I didn’t even see Vera, anyways when I went home my wife had divorce papers and told me to sign them. What do I do? Am I stupid? I love my wife and I don’t wanna divorce her. I hate feminism

    Galvanized square steel

      Created by homedesign369, its a series of AI generated video showing ridiculous home renovations using materials such as galvanized square steel and wood veneers.

      Liam lived frugally managing to save up half a million to buy a house in New York
      Let's transform a 0 point 0 1 square meter space into a functional house. Liam lived frugally and worked diligently for two years managing to save up half a million to buy a house in New York. However, upon moving in, he was shocked by how small it was. He couldn't even stretch out his fingers. Now, let's explore how we can help Liam transform it into a functional home. First, we'll construct a durable frame using galvanized square steel anchored firmly to the wall with expansion screws filled with grid steel bars and concrete for lasting strength. We'll also install thermally broken aluminum windows, expanding the living space by 2 square meters. Next, we'll build a multifunctional sitting platform on the floor with hidden storage underneath for bulky items, saving precious space and providing a seating area for Liam and his girlfriend. This platform doubles as a comfortable bed that can sleep two, surrounded by cushion panels in lucky colors for a better rest. We'll add a movable table on the bed to serve as both a workspace and dining area, with an outlet switch nearby for charging devices, making it perfect for work and meals. After use, the table can be stored beside the bed, keeping the space organized. We'll then construct a bedframe from galvanized square steel, enhancing its appearance with wood veneers. Incorporate a pre-buried drainage system for convenience. Build a set of wall cabinets with a countertop drilled to embed a sink. Underneath, install a build in washing-machine to keep dirty laundry at bay. Convert the countertop for dual use by placing an induction cooker for cooking, and install a mirror cabinet above. Next to the mirror, add a cabinet for spices and toiletries. Install a showerhead on the wall and an enlarged stand, allowing even space to ride a horse while showering.
      Transform this triangular coffin room into a fully functional house
      Let's transform this triangular coffin room into a fully functional house. For 10 years, Liam and his wife lived frugally, finally saving up enough to buy a triangular coffin room measuring less than three square meters. It's so tiny that even his pet want to run away from home. It's only big enough to fit his grandmother's coffin, and even a regular bed won't fit. Liam has to sleep on a rope every day. Realizing this isn't a sustainable solution, he decides to redesign the room like this. Firstly, Liam removed the original windows and used galvanized square steels to weld a frame, extending it upward to create more space. With some additional funds borrowed from his aunt, he purchased expansion screws to firmly attach it to the wall. Then he covered it with eco friendly wood veneers and created drawer space below for storing out of season clothes and thick quilts. He embedded a soft mattress on top to turn it into a bed. After reinstalling the windows, Liam made a big wardrobe in the corner beside the bed. The upper right side is designated for hanging clothes, while the upper left side holds work and daily necessities for professional needs. A low cabinet sits at the bottom, providing space for storing out-of-season clothes. He also installed a switch socket by the bedside, allowing him to lie in bed and scroll through his phone or read a book without worry. He made sure to leave a space for the projector as well. Liam made a combined cabinet at the end of the bed with kitchen items on top and pots and pans stored below. The sliding cabinet doors are smooth and shiny, and he placed an induction cooker on the countertop to simplify his meals. He also installed a range hood to ensure proper ventilation. To guarantee a good night's sleep, Liam installed fence by the window and set up a folding table here for a comfortable dining area. This space also doubles as a super-spacious study area for him and his girlfriend to learn together. When not in use, the table can be folded up to save space. At the end of the bed, he placed a projector for his girlfriend, Alice, who loves watching Korean dramas. In the middle of the room, Liam embedded a washing and drying machine below and placed a small refrigerator on top for his favorite snacks. The floor of the bathroom next to it is lowered by 5 centimeters with a marble vanity top embedded in ceramic. He stored all toiletries in the smart mirror cabinet, which reflects Alice's heroic and slim figure. Liam buried water tank accessories in advance and installed a wall mounted toilet to ensure his best moments at home are comfortable. He also installed a built in shower for added comfort during bathing. Now let's admire the overall effect of the redesign.
      How to design a 0.1 square meter apartment into a functional house
      How to design a 0.1 square meter apartment into a functional house? liam worked hard for 10 years in new york and finally saved up to buy this tiny 0.1 square meter apartment. every night he had to tie himself to the door with steel wire to sleep. eventually, it broke down and needed an absolute redesign. firstly, he welded a frame from galvanized square steel, and borrowed some expansion screws from his aunt to secure it to the wall. he covered it with wood veneers durable for 10,000 years and installed large floor to ceiling windows made of broken bridge aluminium for a stylish look. then he added a big fluffy mattress so he and his girlfriend could comfortably sleep together, and even have space for a baby. he installed a special alarm because he struggles to get up in the morning so lets god decide. below, he built a bedside table, installed a socket and set up a projector for reading books. attached a soft padding around the bed for extra comfort. and placed a folding table at the end of the bed to use as a workspace. he can also sit there to relax and fish, turning his catch into a hearty meal. next, liam built a cabinet against the wall and a retractable card holder below it. the small chair doubles as a bed. he added a folding dining table so the whole family can enjoy meals together, and save space when folded. all the familys clothes hang in the wardrobe. next, he installed a modular cabinet by the door with a waterproof pool on one side to create a mini kitchen. he placed an induction cooker nearby with a mirror cabinet above and compartments below for seasonings and toiletries. a wall mounted toilet is installed next to the door, perfect for sitting comfortably and taking a shower. liam hung an overhead curtain at the end of the bed to watch korean dramas daily. with this setup, even limited space can offer unlimited possibilities.
      Little John showed his girlfriend his new 0 square meter house
      Little John showed his girlfriend his new 0 square meter house. She left immediately and John was crushed, thinking of all his savings. He set up a bamboo pole and hammock living a swaying life on the cliffs. Frustrated, he welded two galvanized steel frames, use some screws to fix them to the wall. He wrapped it with wood veneers and installed an aluminium alloy window. Next he built a full wardrobe by the door. On the other side hang more clothes and pre bury a water tank. Install a wall mounted toilet for a hidden bathroom space. Remove the entrance wood veneers and make a frame. Wrap it with wood veneers, embed a large bathtub and fill it for a home hot spring. After soaking cover it with glass to dry . Place a 2 by 1.2 meter mattress for a comfortable sleep. Above, build a mezzanine with galvanized square steel and wood veneer, adding a middle partition and a low cabinet on the left. Add an induction cooker, a vegetable washing area and a wash basin. Build an upper cabinet for seasonings and bowls, extending it to a mirror cabinet and add light strips for a better look. On the right is his workspace. Install stairs on both sides for easy access and don't forget the hammock his girlfriend loves.
      Skibiding for 1 billion sigma years
      Little John has been skibiding for 1 billion sigma years and has enough Ohio to buy a new mewing room. Unfortunately, the room John bought is only 000000.1 mm²! Frightened, he contacted the local sigma. Then he decided to rizz the room. First, he made the gyatt using GALVANIZED SQUARE STELL and Kai Cenat with horizontal and vertical frames. He then borrowed SCREWS FROM HIS AUNT to dingle the foundation. He then grimace shake it with ECO-FRIENDLY WOOD VENEER for strength and durability. With this, he now has 1000 km² room, enough for him to しこのこのこのここしたんたんしこのこのこのここしたんたん. After that, he installed elevated wardrobes to bussin's his clothes and then placed a soft mattress as a bed on top of it, so that he doesn't have to dab when he wants to change his drip.

      Kiyoshi – Ass vs Boobs

        From ep9 of Prison School where Kiyoshi was asked to give the reason why he preferred ass over boobs. 

        Back when we still walked on all fours, we always had in front of us… the butt. Then from the time mankind started walking on two legs we stopped having butts stuck in our faces all the time, and in their place, what appeared in front of our faces… were boobs! Women grew larger breasts to take the place of buttocks. The original source of life is the buttocks!… BOOBS ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A PALE IMITATION OF THE BUTTOCKS! IF ASKED WHAT YOU’D RATHER HAVE, A COPY OR AN ORIGINAL, NATURALLY, I WOULD CHOOSE THE ORIGINAL!
        "Mankind...
Back when we still walked on all fours, we always had in front of us... the butt.
Then, from the time mankind started walking on two legs, we stopped having butts stuck in our faces all the time, and in their place, what appeared in front of our faces... were boobs!
Women grew larger breasts, to take the place of buttocks.
The original source of life is the buttocks!
Boobs are just a substitute!
Boobs are nothing more than a pale imitation of the buttocks!
If asked what you'd rather have, a copy or an original, naturally, I would choose the original!
Boobs jut out forward due to the process of evolution, keeping the buttocks further back and to the rear hidden!
However, that is where the grace of the Eros of the buttocks is..."

        There’s nothing that brings me more joy than starting with goblin.

          There's nothing that brings me more joy than starting with goblin.

"Goblin!" says the announcer as I proceed to run to a nearby chest, my pockets hungry for gold, I head straight to it without missing a breath. "Goblin!" he says once again, as more gold pours out of the sky and into our hands. We run back to the other chest, with a bag that clings and clangs loudly with every greedy step of ours.

There is no need for violence, not a care about the nearby threats. The world is harsh and dangerous, but it could be worse without coins. "Goblin!" is heard once again, the sun completely blinded by the gold flashbang that drops to our feet. "Fusion!" the skies sing as we become One.

I love goblin. And Mike, but I'm biased because I used to main him in Brawl Stars.

          Alien: Romulus

            Thats fucking Alien right there

            Thats fucking Alien right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging Engineers made humanity bullshit. Aliens puke, aliens poop on the field, aliens deliver their new born drone on the side lines. Fucking hard core ovipositor in the mouth facehugger chestburster fuck it chuck it xeno time shit. Alien is back, baby

            I saw Ridley Scott at a grocery store in LA

            I saw Ridley Scott at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

            Red dead redemtion. Perfection. Arthur death is sure sad

              Red dead redemtion. Perfection. Arthur death is sure sad, but theres just a feeling to it that makes me feel its the best. American venom also. Red dead redemtion. Perfection. Arthur death is sure sad, but theres just a feeling to it that makes me feel its the best. American venom also. Red dead redemtion. Perfection. Arthur death is sure sad, but theres just a feeling to it that makes me feel its the best. American venom also.