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Toyota Corolla

    This is a certified hood classic copypasta
    You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.
    
    
    The 1999 Toyota Corolla.
    
    
    Let's talk about features.
    
    Bluetooth: nope
    
    Sunroof: nope
    
    Fancy wheels: nope
    
    Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn.
    
    
    Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.
    
    
    You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.
    
    
    This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
    
    
    Things this car is old enough to do:
    
    Vote: yes
    
    Consent to sex: yes
    
    Rent a car: it IS a car
    
    
    This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would.
    
    
    Interesting facts:
    
    This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey. In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla"
    
    
    You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey.
    
    Favorite food: spaghetti
    
    Favorite tv show: Alf
    
    Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms
    
    
    This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.
    
    
    When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine.'
    
    
    Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.

    Wanna join my free giftcard giveaway

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      How do you feel ten seconds after recording that tiktok

        how do you feel?
        
        ten seconds after recording that tiktok
        
        and it's just you
        
        alone
        
        surrounded by syrup
        
        
        and who cleans all that?
        
        is it you?
        
        do you wipe the countertop?
        
        scrub it hard, I presume.
        
        
        and all that on the floor.
        
        do you get on your hands and knees?
        
        on all fours
        
        and wipe endlessly?
        
        bow down
        
        like you're worshipping some god
        
        one who certainly doesn't look kindly on you
        
        
        and when you try to get up
        
        from those impossibly sticky floors
        
        does your body stay?
        
        as if trapped in hell?
        
        
        I hope so.

        Beat up a

          Beat up a Ben 10 fan. What are they gonna do? Ship you with your cousin?
          Beat up a FNaF fan, what are they going to do? Stuff you into their fursuit?
          
          Beat up an Undertale fan, what are they going to do? Ship you with a grown man?
          
          Beat up a DDLC fan, what are they going to do? Say Okie Dokie?
          
          Beat up a BATIM fan, what are they going to do? Throw ink at you?
          
          Beat up a Gravity Falls fan, what are they going to do? Ship you with your sister?
          
          Beat up a Star vs The Forces of Evil fan, what are they going to do? Convince you on why Marco and Star are the best ship ever?
          
          Beat up a Miraculous Ladybug fan, what are they going to do? Justify Marinette's behavior?
          
          Beat up a TOH fan, what are they going to do? A Lumity AU?
          
          Beat up a She-ra fan, what are they going to do? A Catradora AU?
          
          Beat up a Danganronpa fan, what are they going to do? Insult your kins?
          
          Beat up a Haikyuu fan, what are they going to do? Talk about some character's ass?
          
          Beat up a SNK fan, what are they going to do? Insult MAPPA?
          
          Beat up a BNHA fan, what are they going to do? NSFW drawings of minors?
          
          Beat up an One Piece fan, what are they going to do? Force you to watch an 1000 episodes long anime about a pirate with stretching powers?
          
          Beat up a Hunter x Hunter fan, what are they going to do? Ship you with a pedophile?
          
          Beat up a Kimetsu no Yaiba fan, what are they going to do? Talk about how good the animation is?
          
          Beat up a "cute girls doing cute things" anime fan, what are they going to do? Call you a racial slur?
          
          Beat up a hentai fan, what are they going to do? Ask for the sauce?
          
          Beat up a lolicon, what are they going to do? Tell you that there are cookies on their van?
          
          Beat up a fujoshi, what are they going to do? Ship you with your best friend?
          
          Beat up a furry, what are they going to do? Draw NSFW of your dog?
          
          Beat up a Countryhumans fan, what are they going to do? Ship your country with its colonizer?
          
          Beat up a MCYT fan, what are they going to do? Use their diamond sword?
          
          Beat up a Gacha fan, what are they going to do? Make a heat edit out of you?
          
          Beat up a Henry Stickman fan, what are they going to do? The distraction dance?
          
          Beat up a Steven Universe fan, what are they going to do? Bootlick Spinel?
          
          Beat up an Among Us fan, what are they going to do? Eject you from the ship?
          
          Beat up a FPS games fan, what are they going to do? Shoot at you?
          
          Beat up a countryballs fan, what are they going to do? A comic making fun of your country?
          
          Beat up a Plants Vs Zombies fan, what are they going to do? Plant a Repeater?
          
          Beat up an Yandere Simulator fan, what are they going to do? Defend Yandere Dev?
          
          Beat up a JoJo fan, what are they going to do? Suck your dick?
          
          Beat up a Kakegurui fan, what are they going to do? Get horny about it?
          
          Beat up a Vocaloid fan, what are they going to do? An edgy Hatsune Miku song?
          
          Beat up a k-pop fan, what are they going to do? Send you a fancam?
          
          Beat up an american pop diva fan, what are they going to do? Send you a fancam?
          
          Beat up a TV series fan, what are they going to do? Explain to you how it suddenly gets better on season 32?
          
          Beat up a MLP fan, what are they going to do? Draw you as a pony?
          
          Beat up a Friday Night Funkin fan, what are they going to do? Harass a mod developer?
          
          Beat up an OSU fan, what are they going to do? Shit on Friday Night Funkin'?
          
          Beat up a Genshin Impact fan, what are they going to do? Explain why Chinese femboy no #8027 is the hottest character in the game?
          
          Beat up a Cookie Run fan, what are they going to do about it? Put the cookies that their mom made to them on skirts?
          
          Beat up a Dream SMP fan, what are they going to do? Fake having DID online?
          
          Beat up a Sailor Moon fan, what are they going to do? Whine about Sailor Moon Crystal?
          
          Beat up a Hollow Knight fan, what are they going to do? Repeat the same joke?
          
          Beat up an Amphibia fan, what are they going to do? Explain how Marcy and Anne are definetly gay and have a crush on eachother?
          
          Beat up a Homestuck fan, what are they going to do? Type in an extremely stupid way?
          
          Beat up a League of Legends fan, what are they going to do? Gain more 300 pounds?
          
          Beat up a Doom fan, what are they going to do? Make their music stop?
          
          Beat up a SCP fan, what are they going to do? A 700000 words long Wiki entry on a door that makes you cum blood?
          
          Beat up a Squid Game fan, what are they going to do? A 15ft doll?
          
          Beat up a Dragon Ball fan, what are they going to do? Argue if you could beat Goku or not?
          
          Beat up a Roblox fan, what are they going to do? ######?
          
          Beat up a Terraria fan, what are they going to do? Brag about how their game has much more stuff than Minecraft?
          
          Beat up a Sonic fa...(remembers the Sonichu incident)....maybe just stay 100 miles away from Sonic fans.

          Shopping cart

            This pasta was originally posted on 4chan
            The shopping cart is the ultimate litmus test for whether a person is capable of self-governing.
            
            To return the shopping cart is an easy, convenient task and one which we all recognize as the correct, appropriate thing to do. To return the shopping cart is objectively right. There are no situations other than dire emergencies in which a person is not able to return their cart. Simultaneously, it is not illegal to abandon your shopping cart. Therefore the shopping cart presents itself as the apex example of whether a person will do what is right without being forced to do it. No one will punish you for not returning the shopping cart, no one will fine you or kill you for not returning the shopping cart, you gain nothing by returning the shopping cart. You must return the shopping cart out of the goodness of your own heart. You must return the shopping cart because it is the right thing to do. Because it is correct.
            
            A person who is unable to do this is no better than an animal, an absolute savage who can only be made to do what is right by threatening them with a law and the force that stands behind it.
            
            The Shopping Cart is what determines whether a person is a good or bad member of society.

            Rise of Kingdoms

              Rise of Kingdoms is a sick new RTS game where you can socialize with friends, conquer new territory, and fight in epic real-time battles. You start off by choosing which of the 11 civilizations you want to play as, from Rome, to Germany, to Japan! And then you recruit and train real historical heroes to your crew like Ghengis Khan or Cleopatra. You can embark with your army on a journey in the vast world. You can camp outside enemy bases then seize their territory at the opportune time in the game’s realistic warfare. With your spoils you can customize the architecture of your own city. You can construct schools, hospitals, markets, and more to set up a thriving economy and defend your land from opposing threats. And right now new players can enter the code on screen to get 200 gems, 2 silver keys, 100,000 food, and 100,000 wood for free from now to September 13. So be sure to click the link down below in the description to try out this game. Thank you so much to Lilith Games for sponsoring me.
              Itulah dia game baru kita..
              Nama game ni adalah rise of kingdoms..
              Basically game ni ada kelebihannya..
              Apa kelebihannya?mari aku tunjuk ya..
              Tak silap aku ada enam la bangunan yang korang boleh pilih..
              Eh betul la enam..aku hebat rupanya hahahaha..
              Actually game ni nk main 8jam pun tak cukup..
              Memang layan la dibuatnya ok!!!