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HOW TO GET EMIRU A SERIES OF PLANS

    Twitch streamer Emiru copypasta
    HOW TO GET EMIRU A SERIES OF PLANS

A) Time travel to back when Emiru had no viewers, compliment her skills at League, ask for coaching, she agrees, hop in Discord and woo her with my natural charisma

B) [Emiru has her PO box number in Twitch bio] Travel to Texas to the PO box address, camp out there for weeks until she comes to pick up her mail, follow her home. Pretend to be homeless and ask for a place to stay. She agrees and then I naturally woo her with my natural charisma

C) My family goes on a vacation to New York and we fly over Texas. Threaten the plane with a bomb threat, grab a parachute and jump out the plane just as it passes right above her house. As she sees me parachuting down she sees me, her knight in shining armor and falls in love instantly

D) Find a Deathnote, make her die a peaceful death at like 70 and write "fall in love with the user of this deathnote"

E) While camping with my father over the summer, I find a cave with a genie in a bottle and I wish for the following

1.   Emiru instantly falls in love with me (instead of wishing for buffs in certain stats, she will love me as I already am so wishes are not wasted on elongating certain appendages or adding height)

2.   I find 1 trillion dollars worth of diamonds under my property (its better to have a material good rather than money as to not affect the economy)

3.   Be 18 (so its legal)

F) Climb to Diamond where she generally hovers in rank. Play as support exclusively when I'm at diamond since she plays ADC. Find her in a game, do well and win that game, ask to duo, she says yes, ask to Discord and seduce her with my natural charisma (edited)

G) Graduate high school and go to a college in Cedar Park, Texas, where Emiru lives. Go to trendy restaurants and coffee shops and whatnot in trying to find her. Meet her and ask her out, pretending to not know that she is actually a very large streamer. She says yes and I woo her with my natural charisma

(VARIATION OF PLAN G #2) During my stay at Cedar Park, Texas, I go to the gym and workout. Emiru is on the treadmill and notices me deadlifting 670 lbs and is impressed. She comes to congratulate me and we start a conversation and is captivated by my beautiful eyes (edited)

(VARIATION OF PLAN G #3) Emiru and all her OTK (the org she signed under) all go to the beach and have a stream. [Living in Kansas all her life, Emiru had never learn to swim] She goes out to the deep end of the ocean and begins to drown, I jump in and save her. As she opens her eyes and looks at her savior she sees my eyes. Instantly falls in love. (PLAN IS DEPENDENT ON ME KN0WING HOW TO SWIM SO I NEED TO LEARN FROM THE YEARS OF 2022- 2025)

(VARIATION OF PLAN G #4) [In Texas, it is not uncommon for large snowstorms to knock out electricity for days, if not weeks at a time] I attend a vocational school and learn how to be an electrician. One of the requirements is to become an intern for a local electrician. I get an order to check out a certain address. I knock on the door and Emiru answers. She is shivering because the heater has been off for days and no electrician has come. I fix it posthaste and she thanks me profusely. She invites me to join her for dinner which consists of various canned foods. I offer to cook and I make a tasty wagyu steak. Instantly falls in love.

(VARIATION OF PLAN G #5) I attend a cooking school where I then get hired at a Michelin star restaurant. Emiru then goes to this restaurant in a ravishing red dress. I make the best meal to ever exist and she wants to personal meet the chef (me) to send her thanks. She sees me and instantly falls in love. [THIS PLAN HINGES ON ME LEARNING HOW TO COOK AT A MICHELIN STAR LEVEL IN 2 YEARS]

(VARIATION OF PLAN G #6) [Emiru has only a high school education] She decides to go to college after years of neglecting to go and meets me, her professor. My hair is slicked back and I always wear a suit. She instantly falls in love

H) While I visit my grandparents in San Francisco, I spot a large crowd walking down the street. As i go near to investigate, it turns outy that its Emiru who visited the city for a local convention. I quickly guide her to a safe location as to not be hounded by the crowd, she thanks me and is wood by my natural charisma.

I) I become a police officer in San Jose but get transfered to Cedar Park, Texas. I hear a dispatcher say that there has been a disturbance at a certain address. I go to investigate but it is actually a very large party, Emiru opens the door and notices me. She is a bit intoxicated so she allows me in. She is seduced by my rugged, handsome good looks.

J) [For my Japanese class, all the students get an opportunity to fly to Japan in a school sponsored trip] I am wandering the Japanese streets when I notice Emiru lost. She is separated from her friends. I ask her if she needs any help and she requests that I guide her back to her hotel. I oblige and she thanks me profusely and invites me for a nice candlelit dinner. Instantly falls in love. (edited)

K) [Every year Crunchyroll holds an anime convention] Emiru is invited to this convention to cosplay. She walks the catwalk showing off her cosplay when she is jumped by a rabid fan. I jump out from the crowd and rescue the damsel in distress. I fight off the weirdo and she thanks me and instantly falls in love.

L) [Op posts a copypasta of these plans] She sees the post and asks Op for the person who wrote all of this. He says "my friend". She gets my discord from him and asks to VC and sees my face. She instantly falls in love.

    Im terrified of Minecraft

      Minecraft is scary 
      I'm not exactly someone that gets spooked that easily. I can handle horror, creepy games, jumpscares or whatever. I usually even enjoy them. But something about Minecraft is just so terrifying to me. First of all the monsters are somehow just so scary. Even though it are literally just blocks and I've seen so much worse without feeling anything. But even when I put the game on "peaceful" which removes all the monsters I'm still scared. Whenever I bump into something I get the scared, whenever a chicken walks past I get scared, whenever it becomes night I get really scared. I get scared by everything and the game itself makes me really anxious. I just don't get it. It's so stupid and weird but I just can't play it.

      How I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old

        How I got into Harvard copypasta
        Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. :)

        This girl showed me her underwear at school and i cant get it out my head

          She was like aye check this out then slightly pulled down her pants, revealing her panties, during class when the teacher wasnt looking. The thrill of seeing something that i am not supposed to be was immaculate and left a big shock to me. now it’s gone to the point where whatever i do, it’s constantly popping back up in my head and is fucking up my life. How can i not think about it?

          Jesus died for your sins

            Jesus copypasta
            Think about Jesus bro, he died for your sins and he was buried in a tomb for 3 days after those days Jesus resurrected and then he ascended into heaven pray this prayer and repent: Lord Jesus, for too long I’ve kept you out of my life. I know that I am a sinner and that I cannot save myself. No longer will I close the door when I hear you knocking. By faith I gratefully receive your gift of salvation. I am ready to trust you as my Lord and Savior. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for coming to earth. I believe you are the Son of God who died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead on the third day. Thank you for bearing my sins and giving me the gift of eternal life. I believe your words are true. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus, and be my Savior. Amen.

            Jermacraft

              Jermacraft series of videos in which Jerma plays Minecraft.
              Jermacraft EP1
              Hello Ladies and Gentlemen! welcome to episode one of Jermacraft! the series where I play minecraft, this is going to be a single player let's play, and when I say "let's play" I use that term pretty loosely because I am an idiot in this game. You're gonna see lots of fails, your gonna see lots of triumphs, at least I'm hoping, so go grab yourself a nice hot cup of coffee, hot cup of coco. I got apple cider right here freshly brewed. Let me take a sip, ah that's some good cider!
              Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to episode one of Jermacraft, The series where I play Minecraft! This is going to be a single player let's play, and when I say "let's play" I use that term... pretty loosely, because I am an idiot in this game. You're gonna see lots of fails, you're gonna see lots of triumphs, at least I'm hoping, so go grab yourself a nice hot cup of coffee, hot cup of cocoa. I got apple cider right here, freshly-brewed. Let me take a sip... ah, that's some good cider!

              The entire Jermacraft EP1 script

              Hello ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to episode one of Jermacraft, the series where I play Minecraft.

This is gonna be a singleplayer let's play and when I say let's play I use that term... pretty loosely because I'm an idiot in this game - you're gonna see lots of fails, you're gonna see lots of triumphs, at least I'm hoping.

So go grab yourself a nice hot cup of coffee, hot cup of cocoa. I've got apple cider right here freshly brewed, let me take a sip.

sip

Ah that's good cider. Alright, so let's get this started - create new world.

World name is going to be... JermaCraft! Sounds about right, eh ok...

Game mode is going to be suurvii- survival, that's the most interesting I think.

More world options- seed for world generator ok this is important!

I gotta name this something crazy to get cool structures and stuff.

Gonna name it... umm... how about,

"DiamondsAreForever"

"LOL"

"cheese"

uh "BURGAH".

Alright, there's- that's our world generator seed, "DiamondsAreForeverLOLcheeseBURGAH"... Done!

Alright let's see what happens, create new world let's do it guys. 'Building terrain' oh my god this is so exciting this is episode one!

I wonder... I wonder where we're gonna end up... Where are we gonna end up?

Ok... what- what? Where the hell am I? I spawned on top of a mountain top! Ok hold on, sound has to be lowered, definitely...

Mkay, a lil' bit of that, a lil' bit of that... maybe a little lower! That sounds about right. Alright!

So, uh, apparently I spawned on top of a mountain... I kinda- this is a good seed!

What's that? We're going to explore it right now - GO!

dies from fall damage

Oh! jerma laugh

... Heheheh... Alright we're going to try that again. This time I'm not gonna miss... I wanna get down to tha- that's the home right there, I wanna live right there.

Don- I don't even have to explore, see if I can't do this... I gotta, hold on... I got an idea, I got a plan.

JermaCraft episode one, this is how we do it! You guys ready? I don't know if you- I don't know if you guys are actually really ready for this!

Here we go! I'm going for a skydive. Remember if you hold shift you don't fall off... That's something I didn't know when I used to livestream this game...

wheeze Heh heh! You guys ready? Ready to go see our new home?

jerma laugh

Alrighty then... What the hell is that? Oh it's an octopus... Look at this quaint little place... I love it already! Heh heh! Alrighty...

So- oh.. exhalation I'm so stupid! Y'see I'm- this is why... this is why I'm an idiot guys... y'see, why would I... I need to get wood! And I just jumped off th- ok...

Remember this... Where are we, pointing east? I have no idea.

Gotta get some trees... That's the most important part of Minecraft you gotta get trees, that's the first thing you gotta get.

Lemme take a sip of my apple cider...

sipping sounds

Oh that's good stuff!

Hopefully you guys picked up a thing of coco like I told you to because that's the most relaxing thing in the world, sitting down, playing videogames... doesn't get much better than that.

Ah ok, c'mon now! Oooh, we got sand too! Now, explain this to me alright?

Alright I want Notch to send me a personal email, and explain to me why there are cows that are acting like Mountain Lions...

I'm gonna kill each one of those cows in just a minute, you watch.

fall damage

Ow... Well at least there's one tree over here... Gotta remember, I gotta go back that way, cause that's where the, the house is gonna be... My awesome dirt house!

So if you are an OLD subscriber, I mean really old, like at least four months ol- month- four... ffweehh four or five months. You'll remember the original JermaCraft it was like two episodes...

And I built a dirt house. This is gonna be completely different I'm going to actually spend time... and make some cool stuff. At least that's what I'm pretending that I'm gonna say that.

Got some wood... aw I got Geno still (his Minecraft skin) from Mario RPG, one of the best games of all time. If you have never played Mario RPG I suggest you play it.

Alright, got some wood, I need more trees over here I can... dig up. I'll get this one too.

excruciatingly slow wood punching

One more and we'll make our way back.

more wood punching

So I guess they added a hunger feature now too if- if you're hungry, you... you die? ... Or something, I guess? Who knows?

even more wood punching

Little bit more wood... And in my livestreams I- I was, always a tradition that when I played this game I would sing a song when things got really boring.

So that seems like the perfect opportunity right now to sing a song, so uh lemme just prep my vocal chords for a second...

sips apple cider

clears throat

Ok... So we're getting wood right now right?

(In Jazz Tune) doodoo, doo doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doooo doo dooo doo doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doo (kh), doooo.

We're chopping wood down!

(kh) doodoo, doo (kh).

Every single day...

(kh) doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doooo.

I gotta get my tools!

(tch) m'doo (kh)

Any which way.

(tch) doodoo, (kh) doo, (kh) doooo doo doo.

I can't seem to reach this stupid piece of wood, so I gotta put some blocks down to get where I should...

I'mgonnachopem.

(tch) d'dnn, (tch) nhh, (tch) nhhh~

I'm gonna chop right now.

nhh, (tch) nhh, (tch) doooonnnh~ doodooonnh~ doon, (tch) doon, (tch)

fall damage

Alright that's enough... Got it! Let's get the hell outta here! Yaaay!~ splash So those of you that don't think that's gonna be a good spot- you'll see...

I'm gonna build that up to be like a castle! So here's the goal... by Christmas time of this year, 2011, I wanna have... a giant castle like as big as that, uhh, that mountain over there...

begins breaking blocks

So let's clean this up a little bit. Why don't we huh? Yeah alright, alright! ... Maybe put a little bit of dirt down here... Make sure I can y'know...

D- did I really run out of dirt? Wonderful... My first wooden tools. It's just like going to your first day of school... And get, punched in the face by the bully...

Speaking of bullies... I got a funny story for you. First ever story on JermaCraft! While I do this mundane stuff.

So... when I was like in the fourth grade, there was a kid that lived down the street from me, his name will- will stay anonymous, because... y'know I don't want him to like- if he watches these videos- I don't want him to come, like, beat me up.

Not that he would ever remember this to begin with... but I- I was probably like the fourth grade... And eh, swallows I was a little S-word guys I was a little- I was a little... little jerk when I was younger.

So essentially what happened, was- this kid, he was a big, big, fat kid: scary, not very nice. And my brother got in like a fight with him, like a looong time before this v- when I was like the second grade my brother's a little bit older than me...

And lemme pick this up.

So my brother got in a fight with this kid and... and... and like I heard about it. And so at the bus stop one day, cause we were at the same bus stop because he lives right down the street from us. At leas- at least he did, I don't know if he does anymore.

So... I dunno why- I was in the fourth grade this so much of a little jerk I was. So my grandmother used to pick me up from school, after I got from the bus stop...

Because y'know obviously you don't wanna walk- y'know, the mile and a half back to your house or whatever it is, mile... Cause the bus stop wasn't that close.

So my grandma used to pick me up, and he was at the bus stop as well, and one day I decided that out of the back window, I was going to give him a double middle finger, as I was driving with my grandmother one day.

I dunno why- I don't even know why I did it guys I can't- I can't tell you one reason why I gave this kid the double middle finger. And from that day forward, he just kinda gave me the w- like a weird look like "What? The hell are you doing?"

And from that day forward I would RUN. RUN, as fast as I could to the bus stop, and away to the bus stop where my grandmother was gonna pick me up, and it was like that for almost six months.

And he never beat me up or anything like that he, eh- he, I- I he- I don- I don- I was like, overreacting.

Actually hold on a second I don't need this... What am I doing with this? I was just putting blocks down! Actualy nonono, I was- I was doing the right thing. I want- I want these. Cause I wanna make like a wall kind of...

Let's keep that going. So yeah, so I guess the moral of the story is, never give the double middle finger to a bully. Cause, you'll be scared for the rest of your life.

And I still am scared, when I like open my doors to like, go and get the groceries... I'm scared. That bully's gonna come get me for me... givin' him the bird.

Yeah- yeah that is actually a true story I did not make that up it- I was scared for like, at least six months. And nothing ever happened either, and like- like I didn't get beat up or anything, so...

Alright now. Is there- is this all- is this gonna go straight down into... ok cool. C-o-o-o-o-l! I'm gonna make a little mine here!

hisses

It's getting late... it's getting late and when it gets late that's when Jerma starts to lose.

starts digging 4x4 hole straight down

I don't think I've ever made it past one night in this game when people are watching. I really don't think it's happened.

ambient cave sound

Is that- Ooh, there's a mine somewhere around here... Pretty sick! Oh jeez- it's right here! Ohohohoh! Nice! Maybe there's coal right here too, that'd be pretty awesome!

Oh my god, Creeper! Creeper get the hell outta here! I'm gonna kick your butt! Y'know yeah- yeah blow up! Go on, go on what do you think I care?

You can't hurt me I got a shovel! I'm gonna shovel your face in-

creeper explodes and takes off more than half of Jerma's health

gasp

... Ok well that's done. chuckles There's not coal just right here somewhere? There has to be... See this is why they always tell you, right when you start, you need to go get coal, you need to go get wood and everything, but I was too busy talking about a bully... me giving him the middle finger.

So looking- I'm trying to see if I can see coal, sometimes it's just right on the edge of these mountains...

stares into pitch black

Hmmmm... I am not pleased! ... Let's at least do this. I need a sheep too, I need wool! I'm being a real piece of crap...