Eat hot chip and lie but for men

everyone know that males born after 1993 cant change a tire. all they know is lie, cheat, scratch they balls, and play video game

everyone know that males born after 1993 cant change a tire. all they know is lie, cheat, scratch they balls, and play video game

WARNING! Long script!
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[WIND WHISTLING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[THUNDER RUMBLING IN DISTANCE]
[WATER DRIPS ECHOING]
[BATS SKITTERING]
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]
[MEN YELLING INDISTINCTLY IN SPANISH]
We shouldnāt be here when it gets dark.
Set the trap at the mouth of the cave, please.
[MEN SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
[WINCES]
PILOT: You need a doctor?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
I am a doctor.
Itās impressive, donāt you think?
Vampire bats weigh almost nothing, but they can down a creature nearly ten times their size.
[FLIES BUZZING]
Wow.
What are you using as bait?
You volunteering?
Leaving.
[TRAP CLANKS]
Pay me now.
Before the sun goes down.
You throw in that bushcrafter on your belt and we have a deal.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[GROANS SOFTLY]
[ALL CHITTERING]
[SCREECHES]
[BATS SCREECHING]
[SHOUTS IN SPANISH]
[YELLING IN SPANISH]
Come on.
[BELL TOLLING]
[STUDENTS LAUGHING, CHATTERING]
Move!
[TICKING]
[CAR HORN HONKS]
NICHOLAS: Should be able to take better care of you here.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES, CAR DRIVES AWAY]
Everyoneās here to help you.
Michael, this is Lucian. Lucian, Michael.
Michael knows more about this place than I do.
[WHISPERS] Play nice.
LUCIAN: Hello.
Hello, Milo.
My nameās Lucian.
The person who was here before was Milo.
No.
He was also the new Milo.
And before him was the other new Milo.
I donāt even remember the first Milo.
How long have you been here?
Long as I can remember.
[MACHINE BEEPS AND WHIRS]
And youāre still not cured?
There is no cure.
Thereās something missing from our DNA.
Like a piece of a puzzle.
And until they find it, the only way to stay alive is an oil change three times a day.
What would you do if you could be normal?
Just for an hour?
I donāt think about it.
Hey, look at the freaks! Look at them!
[STUDENTS CHATTERING, LAUGHING]
Best not to be outside when school gets out.
Like the original Spartans, we are the few against the many.
[BEEPING]
Milo?
Milo?
[ALERT BUZZING]
Nurse?
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[WHISPERS] Okayā¦
[BEEPS AND WHIRS]
Lucian.
Lucian!
With one of these?
It took a team of scientists to build that machine and you fixed it with a ballpoint pen?
Thereās a school for gifted children in New York.
I think that I could get them to agree to cover your tuition and provide private care to help manage your condition.
Somewhere you could study, learn, hone your skills.
You have a gift, Michael.
I donāt think I could forgive myself if I saw it go to waste.
MICHAEL: āDear Milo, this isnāt goodbye. Iām gonna find a cure for us, so we can be cranky old men someday. Your friend, Michael.
P.S. You shouldnāt have unfolded this. Now youāll never get it back together. See you this summer.ā
No.
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]
āDear Miloā¦ā
[ALL LAUGH]
Please, can I have my letter back?
What?
Please, can I have my letter?
Okay. Here.
[LAUGHS]
Please. Ah!
[SHOUTS] Please!
[BOYS LAUGHING]
Please!
[YELLS]
Stop.
[GROANING]
[BOYS GRUNTING]
[NICHOLAS YELLS IN SPANISH]
Go away!
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]
Let me have a look. Let me have a look.
[SCREAMS]
He tried to steal my letter!
Milo, Milo, stop.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
[CRYING]
What about Milo?
Iāll look after Milo.
He needs me.
NICHOLAS: Michael Morbius completed his doctorate by 19 and quickly established himself as the worldās leading authority on blood-borne diseases.
His development of artificial blood has saved more lives than penicillin.
Michael Morbius, please step forward to acknowledge the receipt of your prize from His Majesty, the King of Sweden.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
[TRUMPETERS PLAY FANFARE]
ANNA: I canāt believe you dissed the king of Sweden.
The king and the queen, their loyal subjects, all of Scandinavia and the entire scientific community.
Yeah, but who does that?
Well, Anna, we both know I have issues.
But, hey, I kept the program.
[TONE SOUNDS, THEN WOMAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY OVER PA]
[KNOCKS] There you are.
Hey, Dr. Bancroft.
Hey, Anna.
We going to play?
Oh, I donāt think so.
See, now that Dr. Morbius is back, maybe you should try losing for a while, see how that feels.
MICHAEL: Not gonna happen.
Michael.
Uh, yes?
You got a minute?
Of course.
New one. For your collection.
[WHISPERS] Dr. Morbius is in trouble.
Iām in trouble.
MARTINE: āI canāt accept a prize for the by-product of a failed experiment.ā
Lab 1.
Front page, āAmerican Scientist Rejects Nobel Prize.ā
You know that people actually like writing checks to Nobel laureates?
Makes them feel better about their investment.
It would help if you stuck around long enough to cash them.
[GROANS]
Youāre pushing yourself too hard.
[SIGHS]
Does our generous benefactor, Milo, know what youāre actually doing here?
What am I actually doing here?
Remixing human DNA with bat DNA.
I have no idea what youāreā¦
Talking about?
Is anything ringing a bell?
No bells ringing. Uhā¦
Okay. Maybe this will jog your memory.
MICHAEL: I wouldnāt go in there if I were you.
[BATS SCREECHING]
That is aā¦
Itās a fish tank.
Hmm.
Like, for⦠flying mammals.
Oh, I see.
Some friends I brought back from Costa Rica.
So when were you gonna tell me?
More importantly, how did you get my pass code?
Itās the first six digits of pi backwards.
Itās your password for everything.
You should change that.
You could lose your license for this.
Iām not gonna need it much longer, doctor.
You, on the other hand, will.
You know, thereās something called āplausible deniability.ā
You should be thanking me.
These are the only mammals on Earth that have evolved to feed exclusively on blood.
So in order to drink it, these bats produce saliva that contains unique anticoagulants.
So your theory is, if you can successfully splice vampire genes into your DNA, it would allow your body to produce those same anticoagulants.
MICHAEL: Yes.
It would be a cure.
At what cost?
The fusion of different species is a legacy we already carry in our bodies.
Viruses insinuating their nucleic acid onto our own over hundreds of thousands of years.
Thatās evolution. This is different.
I donāt think it is.
We have to push the boundaries, take the risks.
Without that, there is no science.
No medicine.
No breakthroughs at all.
[MACHINE BEEPING]
[CHIMES, THEN BEEPING SOFTLY]
Okay.
[RECORDER BEEPS]
Test subject for cell combination 117.
[MOUSE SQUEAKING]
[BEEPS]
Come on, come on, come on.
[SQUEALING]
[RECORDER BEEPS]
[SIGHS] Test subject 117 has resulted inā¦
failure.
[RECORDER BEEPS]
I donāt wanna see you get hurt.
I shouldāve died years ago, Martine.
Why am I still alive if not to fix this?
To save my best friend, Milo.
And everyone else like us.
Not like this.
Dr. Morbius, itās Anna.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[MONITORS BEEPING RAPIDLY]
[PANTING]
Her temperatureās spiking, and her kidneys are shutting down.
We have to induce a coma before she has a stroke.
A hundred milligrams of propofol.
NURSE: Sure.
MARTINE: Now.
Come on.
MICHAEL: Itās okay.
Itās okay. We got you.
There you go.
There you go.
Thank you, nurse.
Weāre gonna let you sleep a bit.
Take a nice long nap.
[MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY]
[SQUEAKING]
Michael.
What?
It worked.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[CLOCK CHIMES]
Dr. Michael Morbius.
[IN NORWEGIAN] Some crippled guyās here to see the Boss.
MILO: Michael! Get over here!
[IN NORWEGIAN] As long as I am a cripple youāll be fine.
āŖ Stop dreaming Of the quiet life⦠āŖ
Youāre late. I was trying out this new thing called āworking.ā
Oh, yeah. I donāt believe Iām familiar with the word.
I donāt believe you are.
So, whatās up with the goon squad?
Oh, I won a hand of cards against some Russian gentlemen.
Apparently they found his luck improbable.
There you are.
More like impossible.
So, doctor, how is our favorite patient?
Still determined to make his short life even shorter?
Yes, I am. Anyway, youāre one to talk.
You look terrible. Look at the state of you.
Says the man wearing⦠What is that, a quilt?
Oh, sorry. I didnāt get the memo to dress for a funeral.
[LAUGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
Right. I will see you later.
And you⦠my door is always open.
We miss you at Horizon.
We could use your mind.
Iāll leave you two to your fun.
Bye, Nicholas.
I have some good news.
Letās go for a walk.
Howās Martine doing these days?
Dr. Bancroft? She is, uh, overqualified, outperforming, brilliant as usual.
And a royal pain in my ass.
But sheās keeping me honest for the most part. Why do you ask?
Eh, no reason. Just havenāt seen you in forever.
I wondered if she had something to do with it.
Aw, I miss you too.
But, yes, she has been working with me to save our lives.
I could ask her to stop if you like, put us out of our misery.
Just donāt do something stupid and go and fall in love because, believe you me, there is absolutely no cure for that.
Says the guy who knows absolutely nothing about the subject.
Not true.
I read about it in books all the time.
Books, really? Wow.
Yeah.
Or romantic comedies. The point isā¦
The point is, love is not on the cards for us, my friend.
Listen, if you start quoting The Notebook to me, I am going to stop and hobble very slowly in the opposite direction.
[LAUGHS]
Throw it!
MICHAEL: Iām close, Milo.
I can feel it.
A cure.
Itās finally possible.
Seriously?
Highly experimental.
Ethically questionable.
Very, very, very expensive.
I knew that was coming.
And not exactly legal.
Oh, and it has to be done in international waters.
[LAUGHS]
You were always expensive.
Is it dangerous? Should I be worried?
You want me to lie to you?
That would be nice, yes.
Itās a walk in the park on a sunny day.
Oh, yeah, that bad, eh?
Listen.
We donāt have much time left.
This could be our last chance.
So, what do you say?
We go out with a fight?
[SIGHS]
Yeah.
You with me?
Till the day you die, brother.
Till the day you die. Youāll have everything you need.
Weāre the original Spartans, mate.
The few against the many.
Yeah.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO]
You know, Iām sure youāre cheating.
No. No, youāre not.
What you got?
MICHAEL: Putting another one in the oven.
Wish me luck.
[CHIMING]
The moment of truth.
[CHIMES AND BEEPS]
Success, Martine. We did it.
Itās holding together.
[RECORDER BEEPS]
Test 243.
[INHALES DEEPLY]
Human trials.
[RECORDER BEEPS]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Iām glad itās you.
Had a lot of other suitors, didnāt you?
Yeah.
You know, the whole near-death thing is very, very chic.
I read it in Cosmo.
[LAUGHS]
Do they still make Cosmo? I donāt know.
I know itās just what you always wanted.
Could be a collectorās item one day, you never know.
This better not be my last one.
I know this is painful, but you got it.
[GROANS SOFTLY]
Thatās it. Bingo.
Right there.
[SHUSHES]
[GROANS]
Almost there, almost there.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[SHUSHES]
Itās all right. Come on. Come on.
There you go.
[GROANS SOFTLY]
You can buckle me up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You all right? Great.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
I call.
Bringing out the big guns.
Letās go again.
Iāll be back. Iām gonna check on the doctor.
All right.
[MONITOR BEEPING]
[DOOR CLANGS OPEN]
You shouldnāt be down here.
I can be wherever I want, nurse.
Itās ādoctor,ā actually.
[SNICKERS]
Iām afraid youāre gonna have to leave.
Doctor. Sure, I can see it.
But, uh, youāre still the help, just like me.
Wow.
You can tell all that by just looking at me, huh?
Here I thought you were just another jacked-up dumb shit.
[LAUGHS]
Get out.
[ALERT BLARING]
Michael?
[GUN COCKS]
[METAL CLANKS]
Michael?
Where is he?
[METAL CLANKS]
Donāt move.
[ROARS]
What the hell?
Everybody down to the lab now.
[WALKIE BEEPS]
Roger that.
[GRUNTS]
Donāt shoot!
[ALARM BLARING]
Michael!
[FOX GROANING]
Stop!
[GROWLS]
Michael.
[GROWLS]
Itās just me.
[ALARM BLARING]
Itās just me.
[POUNDS ON GLASS]
Michael, please.
Michael, stop!
Stop! Please!
Youāre hurting yourself! Stop!
Hey! Step back! Move!
Stop. Put that gun downā¦
Move!
[GROWLING]
[GROANS]
[SCREAMS]
[YELLS]
Shit. Close it! Close it!
What the hell is that thing?
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[ROARS]
Fall back! Fall back!
Shit.
MAN 1: Letās move.
MAN 2: Go, go, go!
[GROANS]
Johnny!
[GRUNTING]
[SCREAMS]
[MORBIUS GROWLS]
Get out of here!
MAN [OVER RADIO]: Sweeping Level 3.
Jason, come in.
Jason. Jason?
[SCREAMS]
Oh, shit.
Son of a bitch!
[GROANS]
Shit! Oh!
Oh, shit!
[HIGH-PITCHED SCRAPING]
[GROANS]
[GAGGING]
[MORBIUS GROWLS]
[PANTING]
[SCREAMS]
[ROARS]
[GASPS]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Martine.
Martine.
[HEART BEATING STEADILY]
[WHISPERS] Oh, my God.
[VOMITS]
[GROANS]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[FEEDBACK OVER RADIO]
Mayday, mayday, mayday.
This is the LCV Murnau.
Call letters 3-X5Y.
We are 13 nautical miles off the coast of Long Island.
Request immediate airlift.
Repeat, this is the LCV Murnau.
Mayday, mayday, mayday.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
Itās up here to the right.
[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
FBI Agent Stroud. Can we have the room, please?
RODRIGUEZ: You heard the man. Can we please have the room?
If you could start exiting, thatād be fantastic.
Well, we havenāt had anything this good since that thing in San Francisco.
Uh, eight bodies, running IDs right now, but apparently they all shop at the same mercenary supply store.
Uh, one survivor, a Dr. Martine Bancroft.
Can we talk to her?
If she wakes up.
Uh, she fell down and hit her head, apparently.
Anything else?
Someone made a mayday call.
Not Dr. Bancroft.
Nope.
It was a male, didnāt identify himself, then wiped all the surveillance footage.
SIMON: He grew a conscience and jumped overboard?
It happens. Oh, and get this.
All the bodies that youāre looking at are nearly drained of their blood.
So, what hunts at night and drinks human blood?
Youāre gonna love this.
REPORTER: Early this morning an unmanned cargo ship was discovered near the eastern tip of Long Island with multiple bodies on board.
Authorities are not making any comment at this time.
But there are reports of one survivor, and we have learned from a high-ranking Coast Guard official that the vessel was flying a Panamanian flag when it drifted in from internationalā¦
Whatās happened?
Some kind of accident.
Howās your pain today? On a one to ten?
Eleven.
[TONE SOUNDS, THEN MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA]
[MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY AND VENTILATOR HISSING]
[TONE SOUNDS, THEN MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA]
[WHISPERS] Iām sorry.
Youāre going to be okay.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
Lab 1.
Privacy screens.
[SHOE SQUEAKS]
[SIGHS]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Come on. Come on.
[GRUNTING]
[GULPING]
[HISSES]
[BEEPS]
[RECORDER BEEPS]
As a result of my procedure, I have an overpowering urge to consume⦠blood.
Human blood.
In certain respects, I have succeeded far beyond anything I could have imagined.
For the first time in my entire life, I feel⦠good.
Yesterday, I could barely walk.
Today, I donāt know what Iām capable of.
For a period of time after ingestion, my numbers are off the charts.
I have the constitution of an Olympic athlete.
Increased strength and speed that can only be described as⦠superhuman.
And all of this⦠on artificial blood.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
Iāve become something different.
I feel a kinship with these creatures.
They would tear anyone else apart, but they welcome me.
Like a brother.
[BATS SCREECHING]
Iāve even developed a form of echolocation.
Bat radar, for the uninitiated.
The question is:
How do I control it?
Isolate it?
Breathe.
[INHALES DEEPLY]
And let it go.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
[BALL BOUNCING ECHOES]
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
But, unfortunately, this condition is temporary.
[WATCH BEEPING]
Iāve been timing myself.
Artificial blood keeps me stable for six hours.
But that window⦠is growing shorter.
Artificial blood wonāt work forever.
One question remains: What if�
What if artificial blood becomes ineffective?
What happens if I go without?
No blueā¦
No redā¦
Nothing.
[GROANS SOFTLY]
Eventually, my vitals drop precipitously and my illness returns with a vengeance.
Soon, Iāll face a choice.
[GRUNTS]
Drink the red⦠or die.
But what happened on that ship⦠canāt ever happen again.
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS, THEN DOORS OPEN]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS, THEN DOORS CLOSE]
Michael.
Itās me.
You in here?
Where are you?
[MICHAEL GROANING SOFTLY]
Michael?
Michael? What are you doing?
Michael, itās Milo. What are you doing?
Do you need help?
What?
āBlood.ā
You want the blood in the freezer? Wait.
[GROANS]
MILO: Iām coming, Iām coming.
Iām coming.
Michael, hang on.
Here. Here.
[GROWLS]
[GROANS]
Michaelā¦
[GROWLS]
Youāre⦠Youāre strong.
[GROANS]
Michael.
You did it.
You did it. You found a cure to live.
Michael.
[WATCH BEEPS]
What? What is it?
Iāve made a terrible mistake, Milo.
We all make mistakes. Donāt worry about it.
Youāve never made one like this before.
Michael, enough.
Just give it to me. I need it.
I canāt live like this any longer. Please.
I canāt.
What do you mean, you canāt?
I canāt.
I need this. I⦠Iāve done things, Milo. I killed people.
W-we⦠We can make that go away.
The ones on the boat, theyāre thugs, guns for hire.
I can make that go away.
You donāt understand.
I do understand. Please. Have I ever denied you anything?
Said no? Have I always given you�
I canāt control it!
What, so⦠So you get to live and I get to die? Is that it?
Itās a curse.
Believe me, brother. It is.
Now, please, I need you to go.
Itās not safe here.
No.
No, donāt make me go. Please, Michael, donātā¦
I said, get out!
I said, get out!
Milo.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Sheās right here.
Dr. Bancroft? Agents Stroud and Rodriguez.
How you feeling, doctor?
Like Iām in a hospital, eating really crappy Jell-O.
This shouldnāt take long.
You were out on a container ship that washed up off of Long Island.
Doctor, there were eight dead bodies inside.
We also noticed that their blood was⦠What do you call it?
Exsanguinated. I looked it up.
So, um, sorry for the graphic nature of some of these photos.
But, um, youāre a doctor, so you know what people look like on the inside.
These puncture wounds right there, those look like fang marks to you?
Well, you were out there conducting a major experiment.
Weāre just hoping you could shed some light.
Yeah, that⦠Not exactly sanitary, isnāt it?
Iām having a little bit of a hard time remembering what happened that night.
Sure. Letās go.
You also work at the Horizon Lab, right?
With Dr. Michael Morbius.
Yes.
Appreciate your time, doctor.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[TICKING]
[SNIFFLES]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
Hello?
Whoās there?
[NURSE GASPS]
Hello?
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[WHIMPERING]
[SOBBING]
[PANTING]
[GASPS]
[SCREAMS]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[WATCH BEEPING]
[SNIFFLES]
[TONE SOUNDS, THEN WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA]
[HEART BEATING]
MAN 1 [ECHOING]: Get away from her. Just step back.
MAN 2: Has she been there all night?
MAN 3: Looks like all the blood was drained from her body.
[PEOPLE MURMURING]
Any contusions?
Not that I can see.
Back to our rooms, okay?
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
[BEEPS]
Dr. Morbius?
Agent Stroud.
Agent Rodriguez. Can we have a minute?
Of course. How can I help you?
SIMON: First, I wanna say thank you.
Your artificial blood actually saved my arm in Afghanistan, sir.
Iām glad I could be of service.
I mean, I must admit, doc, you donāt look
anything like you do on the news.
Yeah, you look downright robust.
I have good days and bad.
Pilates helps.
How are you on boats?
As you can seeā¦
donāt have very good sea legs.
Why do you ask?
āCause youāve been looking for a cure for your condition your whole life, right?
Youāve pretty much tried everything.
Crazy experiments, maybe on a boat?
āCrazyā isnāt a term that I would use⦠detective.
Unorthodox, maybe.
But Iād do just about anything to save a life.
Iām sure you can understand that.
Anything else I can help you two with?
[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER POLICE RADIO]
DISPATCHER [ECHOES OVER RADIO]: All units, the 120 block, Horizon Labs, female body drained of blood, initiate lock down.
Copy that. Doc, got a couple more questions for you.
RODRIGUEZ: Yeah, youāre coming with us.
[GRUNTING]
Hey, freeze!
SIMON: Stop him!
Hey!
[GUN COCKS]
Hold fire!
Get backup and meet me up top.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[WIND WHISTLING]
[SIRENS APPROACHING]
[GUN COCKS]
Enough.
[SIRENS WAILING]
MICHAEL: Itās worse than I first thought.
At this rate, artificial blood will stop working in a matter of days.
8:13 p.m.
Down from six hours to four hours, 22 minutes.
I got a problem.
[SHACKLES RATTLE]
[LATCH CLICKS, DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
Holy water?
Really?
What?
Iām not taking any chances.
Itās triple blessed.
[BUZZER SOUNDS IN DISTANCE]
We found this little guy on the container ship⦠with those bodies.
Thatās a little hobby of yours, right?
RODRIGUEZ: You know, eight dead mercs on a boat really doesnāt ruffle our feathers.
Iām pretty sure they were guilty of something and happy to have them off the water.
But Nurse Sutton, single mother with twin girls, thatās⦠something else.
Yes, I know.
Her name was Kristen. We worked together every single day for seven years.
She was a good person.
So whyād you do it?
I canāt answer that.
[SIGHS]
What did you do to yourself, doctor?
Make us understand.
I wish I knew.
[GASPING]
Okay.
Great stuff. Um, Really informative.
Thank you. Uhā¦
I dropped a bag.
Thereās something inside that I need.
Bag of artificial blood.
Yeah.
Yeah. Itās in evidence, Iām sorry.
[TABLE RATTLING]
[GROWLING]
Iām sorry.
Iām starting to get hungry.
And you donāt wanna see me when Iām hungry.
[GROWLING]
SIMON: Weāre done here. Letās go.
[KNOCKS ON DOOR] Guard!
Your lawyerās here.
[DOOR SLAMS SHUT, THEN LOCK CLICKS]
You look terrible.
Lawyer, huh?
I donāt remember you ever finishing law school.
āCause I didnāt.
Sit down. Sit down.
I mean, if one of us was going to end up in bright orange trainers, I would never have guessed it would be you.
Theyāre charging me with murder.
I donāt know. I donāt know.
Iā¦
Maybe I blacked out? Uhā¦
[INHALES SHARPLY]
Hey.
Now listen to me.
[QUIETLY] I donāt believe it.
Youāre not capable of that.
I know that all youāve ever tried to do is help people.
You donāt belong here.
This place is for terrorists and drugs lords and God knows who.
Michael, we need to get you out of here.
In whatever way possible.
Maybe this is where I belong.
If Iām in here, then nobody else dies.
Listen to me.
You are not capable of killing that woman.
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
Hey, Your Highness, timeās up.
Michael, hereās something to keep you going.
Guard.
[LOCK CLICKS]
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
[PRISONERS YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
Never too early.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[BUZZER SOUNDS IN DISTANCE]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[GATE RATTLING OPEN]
Milo.
Milo!
[GRUNTS AND GROWLS]
[SLURPING]
[ROARS]
[CONCRETE CRUMBLING]
[ALARM BLARING]
OFFICER: Letās move!
Come on, this way!
[ROARS]
[GROANS]
Letās go. Letās go.
Open the door.
Now! Go!
Heās getting away!
[GRUNTING]
[WIND WHISTLING]
[HORNS HONKING]
Daily Bugle, please, sir.
There you go, buddy.
Here you are, my friend.
[SNIFFS]
Always figured that guy for a freak.
Howās that? Youāve never met him.
I mean, look at him. What else you need to know?
MILO: You know, you shouldnāt judge someone by how they look.
Didnāt your mother teach you any manners?
Take me, for example.
I may look harmless enough.
Do you think Iām joking?
[ROARS]
[VENDOR SCREAMS]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[GRUNTING]
Milo!
Got me.
You see? I knew you could do it.
You took the serum even after I warned you.
What am I gonna do, lay down and die?
Thank you for the death wish.
I tried to protect you!
Protect me? Protect me from what?
Becoming a monster like me.
I donāt think youāre a monster. Okay?
I killed the nurse.
I killed the nurse.
I know. But you know what itās like your first time.
You have no idea what youāre doing. You have no control.
No.
Milo, you have to stop.
You have to stop. You have to stop denying who you are.
Itās boring. We can go anywhere, we can do anything. Letās go.
Letās have some fun.
This isnāt you.
I know you. Whereās the brother that I used to have?
How can you say that to me?
Look what youāve become.
Everything I am, I am because of you.
I looked up to you my whole life.
I will never leave you, and I will not go back.
You cannot make me go back. I wonāt let you make me go back!
[GROANS]
[PEOPLE CLAMORING, SCREAMING]
[ROARS]
Move, bitch, move!
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[GASPS]
Goodness.
Whoo!
Weāve evolved!
Youāre a scientist, Michael.
Surely, surely you understand that.
Thatās not what this is. This is a mistake.
But I can fix it. Iāll figure out how to reverse it.
Artificial blood will keep us stable until I do.
Yeah, Iām fine just the way I am, thank you very much.
OFFICER: Hey! Hands up!
Up against the wall. Now.
MILO: Officer.
Come on.
MILO: Anything you say.
You. Donāt move.
Okey-do key.
We have the suspects.
Like we used to say⦠live a little.
[GROANS]
Hey!
Freeze!
[OFFICERS GROAN]
All our lives, weāve lived with death hanging over us.
Why?
Why shouldnāt they know what it feels like for a change, Michael?
[ECHOES] Michael!
[SINGSONG, ECHOES] Michael.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
Iām not gonna fight you, Milo.
[TRAIN HORN BLOWS]
[FOOTSTEPS ECHOING]
[TRAIN RATTLING AND TRAIN HORN BLOWING]
[BRAKES SQUEALING]
[WIND WHISTLING]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[TRAIN HORN BLOWING]
[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA]
SIMON: Now heās laying out officers in my city, huh?
Itās unforgiveable.
Just keep your eyes on Dr. Bancroft.
Yeah.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[BOTH SPEAK IN SPANISH]
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
[EMPLOYEE SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
Woman in the jeans, whereād she go?
Yeah, right.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
Great.
Hey, stranger.
Michael?
You shouldnāt be here.
I didnāt kill Nurse Sutton or the police.
Or any of those people.
I know.
Milo, heā¦
He took the serum.
Heās out there.
And I have to stop him.
But I need your help.
Coffee?
No, thanks. I quit caffeine.
Itās decaf.
[GASPS AND SIGHS]
[BLOWS]
Not that kind of vampire.
Just checking.
I shouldnāt have dragged you out there. Iām sorry.
You didnāt.
I wanted to be there.
Well, then apology rescinded.
I guess weāre both a little crazy.
How do you feel?
Incredible.
I mean, I went from dying my entire life to feeling more alive than ever.
Thankfully, artificial blood keeps me stable.
I just have to drink it more often.
How often?
Uhā¦
Every four hours, 22 minutes. Down from six.
Itās losing its effectiveness.
The issue is, when it stops working⦠Iāll become like Milo.
You wonāt.
[DOOR BELL DINGS]
Hi. Over there.
Sorry, this oneās no good.
Check it again. And keep one for yourself.
No, I donāt wanna do it.
Thereās plenty more where those came from.
Come on, man, we gotta get back to the lab.
[HEART BEATING]
Michael?
Okay, I know that look.
Youāre up to something. What is it?
Iāll need a couple of things from the lab.
Can you do that for me?
Yes, I can.
But you didnāt answer my question. What is it?
Youāre right. Iām up to something.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
You got the blood?
Got it.
[SIREN WAILING]
[DOG BARKING]
[VIALS CLINKING]
[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
[HORNS HONKING]
[SIREN CHIRPING IN DISTANCE]
MAN 1: The ink on this new batch is pretty legit.
Itās a good thing we switched the chemicals.
MAN 2: Yo, finish up.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
[JINGLING]
[LAUGHS]
[VOICES CHATTERING ON TV]
Itās a nice place that you got here.
Oh, I love this movie. Is this the part where the mysterious guy with the hoodie comes in and kicks everybodyās asses? I love that part.
Who the hell are you?
It doesnāt matter, but I am gonna need your laboratory.
[MAN LAUGHS]
MICHAEL: You can keep the money, all your little toys.
Just leave the science-y stuff and that bag of spicy Cheetos.
He wants my lab?
Yeah.
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
You trying to be funny?
No, no, no. Absolutely not. Thatās their job.
I mean, look at their matching necklaces.
Time to go.
[GROANING]
[BONES CRACKING]
Did you know that there are 27 bones in the human hand?
[YELPS]
Allow me to introduce the phalanges.
[SCREAMS]
The metacarpals.
Shit. Letās get the fuck out of here!
And the pretty, little stinky pinkie.
[SCREAMS]
[PANTING]
Who the hell are you, man?
Me?
[IN DEEP VOICE] I am Venom.
[HISSES]
[GASPS]
[IN REGULAR VOICE] You can go now.
Six to eight weeks, a little ibuprofen.
Should heal up just fine.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[OFF THE MEDSā āEXSEā PLAYING]
[ROARS]
[GROWLS]
[ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING AND PEOPLE CHATTERING]
Yo. Can I get a tequila, please?
Don Julio 1942.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Do I know you?
Me?
Yeah.
No, I donāt think so.
Weāve met.
Iām sure of it.
No, Iād remember.
Youāre too pretty.
You know what they say, āTequila to remember, whiskey to forget.ā
Thatās good.
Sir, two tequilas, please.
Hey, yo.
Her drinks are spoken for, bro.
Salute.
[CHUCKLES]
You know, uh, ahem, Iām gonna do you a favor and let you walk out of here, all right?
Thatās very kind of you.
Here was I thinking you were a complete asshole.
Sir, can I get my friend hereā¦
Relax.
ā¦and his friends a round of whiskeys?
JEAN: Hey!
[GLASS SHATTERS]
[MILO GROWLS]
MAN: Iāll get you another drink.
[SIGHS]
Hey.
Another time.
Jerk.
You see the size of that guy? Iām not paying for those drinks.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION, THEN ALL LAUGHING]
[ROARS]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
MILO: Martine.
Milo.
Sorry. I let myself in.
I hope I didnāt startle you.
Itās okay.
If Iād known our biggest funder was coming, I would have planned a nice dinner for us.
Actually, Iāve already eaten.
Whatever it is, itās doing wonders for your health.
[CHUCKLES]
I feel great.
What can I do for you?
Well, itās Michael.
Iām worried about him.
Heās alone out there.
And I think he needs me.
If I can get to him before the police do, I can help him.
You wouldnāt happen to know where he is, would you?
You two have always been so close.
Iām sorry.
I donāt.
Hmm.
[HEART BEATING RAPIDLY]
Just to be sure, Iām going to ask you one more time.
You donāt happen to know where he is, do you, Martine?
I wouldnāt lie to you, Milo.
I donāt.
Now, if you donāt mind, I have work to do.
Okay.
Well, if you see him, if you hear from him, tell him: āWe are the few against the many.ā
Weāll have to do that dinner another time, Martine.
[TAKING SHUDDERING BREATHS]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
Police!
Clear!
Clear!
[CLICKING TONGUE]
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Catās gone. And sheās probably gone along with it.
[CAT MEOWS]
Itās time to eat, you little monster.
Oh!
[WINCES AND SIGHS]
Shit.
[GROWLS SOFTLY]
Michael?
Hey.
[SLAMS FLOOR] Michael.
Iām sorry.
[SIGHS]
You may wanna close that up.
Yep.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
[MICHAEL SIGHS]
How does it feel⦠when youāre on red?
Something wakes up inside of me, something⦠primal. And it just, uh⦠And it wants to hunt. And wants to kill.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Iām sorry.
[CAT MEOWS]
[COUGHS]
[MEOWS]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
Hi.
Good as new.
Nice work, doctor.
Thank you, doctor.
You know, for the record, I⦠I wasnāt gonna go full Dracula on you downstairs.
For the record⦠I find him to be quite the romantic.
Come here.
Just close your eyes.
Okay.
Move closer.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[TRAIN RATTLING]
Did you know the average male body has 12 pints of blood?
I mean, how much do you think the doctor can drink?
I donāt know.
Whenās the last time you had 36 beers?
Whenās the last time you had any beers?
CCTV.
Iāll go grab the footage.
I donāt want you to have to move or anything.
All right, check this out.
Wait, wait, wait.
Zoom in. And hold right there.
Thatās not the doctor.
RODRIGUEZ: Itās what these bloodsuckers do. They multiply.
Breaking news on the Lower East Side where three people have been killed.
Authorities have confirmed the discovery of three new bodies outside a bar popular with Wall Street traders.
And like the victims before them, they were completely drained of their blood, earning the killer the moniker āVampire Murderer.ā
The prime suspect, renowned scientist Dr. Michael Morbius, remains at large.
What have you got yourself into?
However, another source inside the department has told us that CCTV footage of the murders suggests the killer could be a copycat.
Residents are being urged to stay home after sundown until the killer, or killers, are brought to justice.
NICHOLAS: Milo?
[PILLS RATTLE]
Youāve discovered my secret.
I mean, look at me.
I am reborn.
I am the resurrection.
My God, what have you done to yourself?
What?
Do you disapprove?
Whatās the matter, Nicholas? Is Daddy cross?
All right. Settle down.
Letās go and have a drink together.
Come celebrate with me, please.
No.
Just one drink.
Milo, youāre scaring me. Please. Justā¦
Just⦠Just calm down.
[SIGHING]
Whatās the matter?
I canāt⦠I canāt sleep.
I can help you with that.
Iāve been more than a friend to you all this time, Milo.
And Iām going to stay here with you.
But there will be no more violence, understand?
That doesnāt do it for me.
I should have known. You always take his side.
Tell me your side, then, Milo.
Michael doesnāt accept what he is, Nicholas.
Iām gonna make him accept it.
By ruining his good name?
See? There! There you are!
Perfect Michael, selfless Michael, Michael the favorite!
Donāt be childish, Milo!
If anyone has a claim to being my favorite, itās you.
Iāve devoted my life to you.
Liar.
You pitied me before.
You did. You pitied me before. Youāre repulsed by me now.
I am repulsed⦠by what youāve done, by what youāve become.
Whatever this thing is⦠youāre not up to it.
Thereās no shame in what we are.
āWe are the fewā¦ā
āAgainst the many.ā
[GROWLS]
Tell Michael, you tell him Iām going to kill as many as I want.
[GROWLING]
[ROARS]
MARTINE: āHeās only destroyed by a stake through the heart, made from the wood of the Holy Cross.ā
You donāt believe this.
MICHAEL: No. But after the week that Iāve had, anything is possible.
What is that?
This is an antibody.
It inhibits ferritin, induces a massive iron overload, instant hemochromatosis.
Deadly to bats, fatal to humans.
Okay.
Whoās the second one for?
My windowās closing. We both know that.
By tomorrow Iāll be forced to consume human blood.
I canāt do that. I wonāt do that.
So this is your solution, huh?
Injecting yourself with poison?
I brought this into the world.
Itās up to me to take it out.
I need you to go now. Itās not safe here. Okay?
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
[PHONE BEEPS ON]
Nicholas, you okay?
[WEAKLY] Michael, I need help.
[GASPS, COUGHS]
I went to see Milo.
Nicholas?
Nicholas!
[GROWLS]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
Nicholas.
Nicholas?
Michael.
Come on, we have to get you to a hospital.
[WEAKLY] You have to stop him.
[BREATHING RAPIDLY]
MILO: Michael.
Michael.
Call out for him.
I want him to hear you.
No.
Yeah.
I wonāt ask you again.
Say, āMichael.ā
MARTINE: Michael.
MILO: Good girl.
Michael.
MARTINE: Michael.
MILO: Yeah.
MARTINE: Michael.
[MILO CHUCKLES]
MARTINE: Milo.
Youāre hurting me.
[SHUSHES]
Itās okay.
[MARTINE SCREAMS]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[HEART BEATING]
[SIREN WAILING DISTANTLY]
MICHAEL: Martine?
Let me take a look. Martine.
[WHIMPERS]
Let me look.
Itās bad.
Michael.
Make it mean something.
I can help you.
Iām sorry.
[SHUDDERING]
[GROWLING]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[YELLS]
[MILO CLAPPING]
Drank the red.
Good for you.
[GROWLING]
Itās just you and me, Michael!
Nothing, no one, to hold us back.
[ROARS]
Iām all you have left.
Thatās the spirit. Yeah.
[MILO LAUGHS]
[BOTH GRUNTING, GROWLING]
[GROANS]
[GRUNTING]
Bye.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[MILO LAUGHS]
[GROANS]
[EXCLAIMS, THEN LAUGHING]
Come on, Michael!
Come on!
You can do better than this!
Itās not a curse.
Itās a gift.
You started this, you created this, you created us!
[ROARS]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[BUBBLING]
[BATS SCREECHING]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[GRUNTING]
[YELLING]
[GROANS]
Michael.
You canāt kill me.
I mean, itās me.
[WHISPERS] You canāt kill me.
[WHIMPERS]
You gave me my name.
Remember?
I remember everything.
[SOFTLY] Iām sorry.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
Lucian.
[SIRENS APPROACHING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER POLICE RADIO]
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]
OFFICER 1: Stay back, people.
OFFICER 2: Get back! Back!
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[GASPS]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[ENERGY CRACKLING]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
Hope the foodās better in this joint.
REPORTER [ON TV]: The bizarre story developing at the Manhattan Detention Center when a man identifying himself as Adrian Toomes simply appeared in an otherwise empty cell.
A hearing has been set that could likely lead to his immediate release.
[OFFICER YELLS INDISTINCTLY]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[GRASS RUSTLING]
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[WIND WHISTLING]
Thanks for meeting me, doc.
Iāve been reading about you.
Iām listening.
Iām not sure how I got here.
Has to do with Spider-Man, I think.
Iām still figuring this place out, but I think a bunch of guys like us should team up.
Could do some good.
Intriguing.
[āŖāŖāŖ]
[āŖāŖāŖ]

Its started as a post on 4chan meant to demean trans women and had since been the most popular copypasta used to harass trans people. Its infamy has led to parodies such as ‘You will be a real gamer‘ or ‘You will never be Japanese‘ versions.
You will never be a real woman. You have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no eggs. You are a homosexual man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of natureās perfection.
All the āvalidationā you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your āfriendsā laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.
Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even trannies who āpassā look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, heāll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected axe wound.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself itās going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually itāll be too much to bear - youāll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. Theyāll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably male.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
You are a real woman. You have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no eggs, but that doesn't matter. You are a valid human who is trying to feel comfortable in her body.
All the āvalidationā you get is pure. Behind your back people love you. Your parents are happy and proud of you, your friends laugh at your jokes behind closed doors, and boys love you, and girls envy you.
Men absolutely love you. Trans folk who āpassā look ordinary and natural to a man. Your bone structure does not matter. Estradiol widens the hips.
You will be happy. You will smile every single morning and tell yourself itās going to be ok, and deep inside you feel the euphoria creeping up like a weed. It is what defines you, not the transphobes.
Eventually, itāll be perfect for you - youāll come out, start HRT, get top surgery, and finally be your ideal self. Your parents will find you, happy and relieved that they finally have a happy daughter. Theyāll congratulate you on your hard journey, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a woman is what you are.

Look at yourself. You are so incredibly sad in life. You have fallen off rather far from the basic level of polite communication and humane respect. You should be disgusted at yourself for spending such a short time to find 'an incredibly detailed copypasta' to suddenly strike me out of nowhere. And could you ever imagine what is the funniest yet the ever-saddest part about this whole affair? Yes, it is your audacity to do it without any reason. I have never said this phrase 'Lol' within my recent conversations. With this action, you have demonstrated your clear state of debilisation, and possibly even your mental disorders. I would personally recommend you to visit a psychiatric as soon as possible, as with such a mindset, you are and will be posing a rather non-negligible threat to the society around you. Shame on you.
P.S. When at the psychiatric, please make sure to tape your mouth shut, otherwise you might 'accidentally' verbally attack the poor psychiatric too, so just keep that in mind, if there is any space left in your corrupted brain after all of those random offensive copypastas. I am being serious.

āLolā? Okay, and? Smh. Youāre just another simple-minded parasite adding nothing of value to the discussion. It absolutely boggles my mind that someone could respond with something so basic and meaningless. A kind stranger thoughtfully came up with a creative comment to lighten the mood, and your response is a three letter acronym to express your ālaughter.ā How about you spend even just a couple of minutes out of your 24 hour day to come up with something a tad bit more meaningful? Is this the kind of lazy mindset that you implement in your daily life? This āI donāt feel like doing itā or āthis is good enoughā type of mindset? Society would be thriving if people like you didnāt have such a negative outlook on life. And sorry to break it to you, but people who think like you often donāt make it too far. Given your lack of intellect based on your brainless comment, you probably spend your days furiously spamming left wing propaganda on innocent dog pictures. Did I hit a little too close to home? Donāt worry, youāre no different from any other bot that responds to an innovative remark with ālol.ā And if you really think those three letters you sent have any form of value, then maybe you should just leave. And donāt come back until youāve apologized. And not to me; to everyone. For your horrific lack of effort, your disgusting display of your lazy attitude, and for your pathetic representation of a functional member of society.

Hello, I have been informed that you requested that I kill myself. Sorry but I do not take assassination contracts on myself, it would be a conflict of interest and would be unprofessional. If our interests become mutual in the future I will consider your request, I will let you know.