I’m not gay. I am not gay. Do not ever call me gay ever again. I am quite honestly one of the least gay people you have ever met. I fuck bitches, mad fucking fucked bitches. I am not gay. Stop saying I’m gay. If you were a girl, I’d probably already fucked the shit out of you by now. But unfortunately you are an ugly fucking GUY who’s tight bussy will remain unstretched by my thick, meaty 9 inch cock because I AM NOT GAY. If i were gay though, you’d find my jackhammer pounding away at your tight bussy with the force of ten tsunamis. Luckily for you I AM NOT GAY and you will have your vigin asshole remain unpounded ad infinum. Actually, it seems that you’re the gay one here. You are gay, not me. I am not gay and never will be. If I were ever gay in a past life (which I WASN’T), I would be killing myself right now, that is how gay I’m not.
Shorter version
I’m not gay. I am not gay. Do not ever call me gay ever again. I am quite honestly one of the least gay people you have ever met. I fuck bitches, mad fucking fucked bitches. I am not gay. Stop saying I’m gay
Fellas is it gay to kiss a girl i mean your literally kissing someone who likes dicc, Fellas is it gay to drink water i mean the male body is literally 70% water you're literally deepthroating another man Fellas, is it gay to look in a mirror i mean you're literally checking out a man body, Fellas is it gay to make money i mean you're literally collecting pictures of other men, Fellas is it gay to master bait i mean you're literally touching a dicc, Fellas is it gay to see i mean you're literally observing in a world with lots of dicc, Fellas is it gay to be a man i mean you're literally walking around with a dicc attached to you, Fellas is it gay to breathe i mean you're literally inhaling dicc particles, Fellas is it gay to to exist i mean your litterally choosing to be in a world with so much dicc.
Now hear me out. When masturbating you're essentially both giving AND receiving a handjob at the same time from a guy. That’s pretty fucking gay if you ask me. Now say you see a cute guy, his ass is so fucking nice and slappable, his juicy feminine lips look like they were made to be wrapped around your cock, and his hands are soft and slender, maybe even more so than your own (thereby making it even less gay). You make your move and he agrees to give you a handy. In this case, you’re simply receiving a handjob, you aren’t giving one as well. That’s half the gay, guys. Stop masturbating, it’s gay as fuck. Get yourself a man that’ll give you a hand.
P.S. if you do decide to give him one back in return because his beautiful, glistening, throbbing cock is just sitting there asking to be stroked, just make sure he’s somewhat more feminine than yourself because technically, giving and receiving a handjob from someone more feminine is less gay than someone who is more masculine (yourself).
EDIT: would giving AND receiving a handjob from a male be equivalently/less gay than just receiving OR giving a blowjob?? Please let me know because I’m no gayer than the average straight man who indulges in masturbation but I really, really want to suck my friend’s cock.
Alright so essentially socks are a gay insulator. When you kiss another man, touch balls, and then proceed to not say no homo. That some gay shit. Although socks are like a last line of defense. Now as I presume many of you know by now the gay travels through the ground like a current. So when you kiss another man, touch balls, and then proceed to not say no homo it doesn't go from mouth to mouth. Rather it goes down through the ground and travels up into your body from below which is GAY as FUCK. Although socks will block the gay from even entering your body thereby meaning that kissing another man, touching balls, and saying full homo are actually straight as fuck as long as you wear socks.
I only jerk off to gay porn and I am not gay. Here is why: When you masturbate to porn, you get desensitized in the long run. That means if you jerk off to pawgs, milfs, teens, etc... in the long run you cock will no longer get erect when you see hot women. So even if you have a pawg sitting on your cock it will be flacid and you will feel no attraction whatsoever.
BUT if you masturbate to gay porn only (such as twinks, breeding, sissy, traps...) you will become desensitized to men and will NOT feel attracted to them, while remaining attracted to hot women.
Sometimes my intellect surprises me.
Ok, it's about sometime someone said it. And of course it's gonna be me. On Jesus' birthday no less. In the name of Santa (Time Allen)'s sacrifice.
The gayest thing a man can do is have sex with a vagina. THINK ABOUT IT. Vaginas are MADE to take dick. They are essentially an evolutionary dick pocket. Do you know how gay that sounds? Literally Charlie Darwin wrote in his journal about how vaginas were evolving to get better at taking dick.
This was in between him writing about dumbass birds, and harassing island lizards and shit. Fucking nerd-ass. However, it is a commercial Christian holiday, so I won't talk anymore about evolution out of respect to the creationists that are totally reading this right now.
I digress, there is NOTHING more gay than being inside a woman's vagina. Made for dicks, AND there may have been dicks in there before. Ummmm, hello? It's basically a CARFAX for dicks. What's more lady-like THEN BEING INSIDE A WOMAN. Think about it, moron. You are next to her eggs and emotions when you are up in there, which is extremely feminine. You could even potentially absorb estrogen through your penis, and that will lower your net worth. Extremely feminine, gay, and also counter-productive.
It is gay to have sex with vaginas.
Now the straightest thing you can do is call up one of your closest bros/business partners. Meet in a location that is isolated, preferably outdoors for reasons soon to be made clear. Strip down naked except for your socks, face each other, and start slapping your cocks together. There is a myth that if the balls touch its gay. This has been disproven by A.S.S. (association of sigma-male scientists).
Actually, your balls slapping together falls under the laws of thermodynamics, and your masculine energy is cycled between your bodies, your balls being the connector.
This increases your masculine hustle, and also forms a stronger bond with your now brother. Do it outdoors to establish dominance in nature. Also, hold eye contact, whoever breaks first is now below in male rank to the other, but there is still mutual respect. I mean, you just got naked in a field and slapped your junk together, you better hope to respect each other.
Socks stay on, it anchors your masculine energy. This is what super straight people do. The gays? Inside vaginas. Don't believe what the liberal media tells you on CNN. Stay away from evolutionary cock-pockets. Embrace the Dong Cycle.
Thanks for dying for our sins, Santa. This one's for you. Seasons greetings!