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I want to impregnate Hu Tao

    Hu Tao is a playable character in Genshin Impact. She is the 77th Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.
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    Please God, I want to impregnate Hu Tao, so bad. I want her to bear my children with those beautiful child-bearing hips.
    
    That beautiful, radiant white angel. Like a goddess, having come down to Earth to cleanse us of our sins. Hu Tao, is beyond divine. I can't help but drop to my knees in worship whenever I see her beautiful figure. I yearn for her in
    
    way both primal and spiritual. I would commit more war crimes than every president in Philippines history just to lick
    
    the sweet, glistening sweat from her smooth, creamy skin. I want to listen to her moans as my manhood throbs within her,
    
    I want to hear her heart race as our bodies become one and our souls irreversibly intertwine in the holy sin of carnal
    
    union. I want to suckle at her motherly bosom, slurping that rich coconut milk from her teat as she gently strokes my raging erection,
    
    I would stir her velvety Samoan cream into my coffee and let my balls boil in it. Her cries of pleasure and the rocking of
    
    our bed would be louder than the cacophony of ten thousand drone strikes. I would make love to her until my body gave
    
    out, and then some. I would let her break my rib cage with any part of her body. I would let her hit me with her car just
    
    to be near her for a brief moment.
    
    She's so perfect it hurts. Every moment without her I suffer a pain worse than breaking every bone in my body simultaneously
    
    while drowning and also having shards of glass coated in hot sauce forced through every orifice of my body. I want her, I need her. I want to desecrate her pure, white pantsuit. I want to start a family with her and retire after our twenty seven children have grown
    
    up and moved out. I want to see those luscious lips speak suuch filthy, perverse words into my ear while she slides ice cubes down my
    
    gaping pisshole.
    
    I want to fuck her like she owes me money. I would let her step on me, just to feel the soft, firm warmth of her feet upon my face
    
    and groin area. I would sleep under her just to catch her drool in my mouth. I would fish the strands of hair from her shower drain
    
    just to smell her alluring scent, and braid them into necklaces to keep her with me always. Or cock rings. Whichever would please her
    
    more.
    
    God please, I would do anything for her. I would relinquish my life, all my hopes and dreams, just to become the socks on her feet
    
    so that I may warm her mouthwatering toes with my very being, so that she may feel the heat of my love always. I would encase
    
    myself in the cement and become her doorstep, so that she may wipe her heels upon my face. I would tear my own limbs off. I
    
    don't know what I'd do after that, or why she might want my limbs. But I would do it.
    
    My queen, my goddess, the light of my life. Please God, let me have her. I want her to be mine and only mine. I would lick the
    
    Doritos dust from her fingers and fill her belly button with honey mustard to dip my tendies in. I would give her a sponge-bath
    
    with my tongue every morning and serve her breakfast in bed. I would let her eat her eggs and pancakes off my body if it pleased
    
    her, no matter how painful the third-degree burns would be.
    
    I would bear the torment of eternal damnation until the end of time to taste the seat of
    
    her car but once. There is nothing I wouldn't
    
    do for her, nothing I wouldn't say. I would beat my own mother to death with my engorged penis if it would bring a smile to Hu Tao's
    
    shining face. I wouldn't even let myself cum until she gave me permission.I love you, Hu Tao. Please. Be mine. Be my wife, my lover, my everything. Say yes. I see it in your eyes, when you're up there on that debate
    
    stage talking about Philippine debt or whatever. Answer my calls, respond to my letters. Something. Give me a sign, Hu Tao. I'm waiting for you.
    
    I'll always be waiting for you.

    I am so tired of you always saying who asked.

      Who asked? ( i'm deaf )​
      I am so tired of you always saying who asked. What if no one asked? Can I not speak up and say something when no one has asked? If everyone did this then no one would ever speak. I think I'm allowed to say what I want. Even if no one asked.

      DICK or TREAT!

        Every HALLOWEEN copypasta

        DICK or TREAT! 🍬 DICK or TREAT! 🍬🙏🏼 GIVE ME 🙏🏼 SOMETHING 😉 GOOD TO EAT! 🐱 👅 😈 Happy HalloWEINER 🎃 all you VAGINA LICKING VAMPIRES 🧛🏻‼️ Now that COCKtober 🗓 has CUM 💦 to an end, the Spookiest 👻 and SLUTTIEST 😈 holiday is upon us: SLUT-O-WEEN! 🎃‼️ So it’s time ⏰ for all you Bad Bitch 💁🏻‍♀️Witches 🧙🏻‍♀️to hop OFF 🙅🏼‍♀️ that broomstick 🧹 and hop 🔛 this dick! 🌽 Your mans🙋🏽‍♂️will celebrate 🎉 by MUNCHING 😋 your Laffy Taffy 🍬 and 👆🏼ButterFINGERING👆🏼😂 that PEPPERMINT 😻 PUSSY 😻 until you MOAN 😵 with Almond JOY‼️ SUCKK 🍭 his HARDDD 💪🏾 BLOW 💨 POP until he StarBURSTS 💦 his 🍯 BIT O HONEY 🍯 😈 into your JELLY BELLY! 😱🥰 This SLUT-O-WEEN 🎃 don’t 🙅🏾‍♀️ be a bore 😴........ so make sure ✔️ you DRESS 👠 like a TOTAL 💁🏼‍♀️ WHORE! 🤸🏼‍♂️😈 Send 📩 this to 6️⃣9️⃣ HALLOWEEN HOES 👯‍♀️ before MIDNIGHT 🌚 CUMS or you’ll be CURSED 🌀😱 with a NO 🚫 NUT 🥜 NOVEMBER 😭😭😭

        Official No Nut November

          This is the Official No Nut November
          Gentlemen, it is no nut November. I have planted several snipers on each of your positions, watching your every move for the rest of November. If it’s reported to see any of you have nutted, you will immediately be executed. This month goes by near-death rules, so if you get near-nut, you get bonus points.
          
          Points may be redeemed at the front of the gift store for candy and prizes.

          Schrödinger’s NNN

            No Nut November
            I have failed and not failed NNN at the same time.
            
            Last night on October 31st after playing some Call of Duty, I was tired and went to bed. I was pretty sure it was still on October 31st (before 00:00). I stayed in bed for a while and couldn't sleep, losing track of time. I decided to give it a go for one short round and started fapping. I ejaculated a big fat nut all over my shirt. It felt so good. Then I fell asleep.
            
            The next morning (November 1st), I woke up and realized I did not look at the clock when I masturbated, meaning I could've cum in NNN. But there was also a possibility that I hadn't failed NNN. There's no way of knowing an approximate of when I beat my meat as I lost track of time. All I know is that it was around 00:00, so there is a 50/50 chance that I have failed NNN or have not failed NNN. But there is no way of knowing that unless I time travel back to October 31st and look at the time. I am currently in a quantum superposition of NNN. Therefore, I have failed and not failed NNN at the same time.
            
            I have achieved Schrödinger's NNN.

            Women should be milked.

              Too bad it's already a reality
              The world would be better if we lived in a society where lactating women could get jobs selling their breast milk as an alternative to cow milk. Just think about it, human breast milk is healthier for humans than cows milk, and we could reduce the amount of cows in factory farms; reduce the amount of cows in general, which would reduce the amount of methane going into the atmosphere and have less of an affect on climate change. Women could unionize to have good working conditions with decent pay and benefits, which would actually make the milk taste better if they were under less stress. Although it will be mandatory to be drug free, and maybe have regular drug tests to insure the quality of milk, that might actually motivate struggling women to quit drugs and get off the streets by selling breast milk. Women with hyperlactation would have an outlet for their excess milk production and be compensated for all the milk they sell, while women who under produce could easily buy the amount of breast milk they need from the grocery store. Just imagine having an omelet, cheesy pasta, or chocolate milk but made with human breast milk; that would be pretty wild by todays standards. The only downside is that drinking breast milk would be normalized and no one would masturbate to the idea of drinking from lactating titties, because that is indeed a problem and everyone totally masturbates to lactating titties. Don't turn this into a copy pasta or I will ejaculate into your nightmares; I am like Freddy Krueger, but horny, and I would totally fill your dreams with spermy wormies.