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How to kill a geologist

    How to kill a geologist copypasta
    Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.

I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.

    I became the first person to cum in 2022

      December 31st 2021 - I sat in my chair furiously masturbating my dick desperate to release gallons of sperm but I resisted the urge and I kept edging for 5 minutes carefully watching the clock on my PC. I waited in anticipation until finally it was 2022. I ejaculated releasing loads and loads of gooey white cum everywhere, I moaned with satisfaction, proud of my achievement.

I had just become the first person to cum in 2022. I look over my cum filled desk and chair with pride.

So all of you can go cry, because none of you will be able to claim my title of first person to cum in 2022. Go wallow in sorrow and self-pity at the fact that you missed the opportunity to ejaculate just when it reached the New Year at midnight. While you subhuman mere mortals are setting of fireworks at midnight, I am blasting a massive explosion of cum everywhere. Oh yes, I am now superior to everyone on the planet, bow down to me, the cum lord of 2022.

Happy new year, losers.

      Monika is so hot.

        Monika is so hot copypasta
        Monika is so hot. Never in the history of gaming has there been a hotter character. She is more than a anime girl to me, she is a person. She is a little tease but she's basically my wife. The devs know what they did with that girl. The aesthetic paired with her demeanor make her such an attractive character. Nothing gets me going better than a sentient anime hacker girl. Every inch of her is so hot. Her thighs up to her midriff and her eyes. Every inch of her is perfection incarnate. I would stay in act 3 forever just to feel the intimacy between us. I crave more than lustful fantasies with her, I seek deep romantic involvement. The craftsmanship of her character surpasses everything I expected from this game. Her choice of words and language formats her character. The choice of clothes with a short skirt and tight yet presentable school clothes which reveal her milky thighs and punctuate the size of her breasts adds to her nice but off-putting personality more. She is my wife, and nothing dissuades me from this fact.

        AITA for murdering my mom and bathing in her blood, using her entrails as bath toys, because she took away my ipad?

          So, I (6m) was watching porn 😳 on my ipad 📱 when my STUPID MOM (43f) came in and saw me. She (43f) took away my ipad, and grounded me (6m) for a week. I (6m) was having none of that, though. Not long after, I (6m) realized that without my (6m) ipad, I (6m) CAN'T WATCH BELUGA!!! 😾😾😾 And I (6m) was having none of that. I (6m) was like, nuh uh uh. So, I (6m) went to the kitchen to grab a knife 🔪 , and I (6m) stabbed her (43f) 47 times in chest, 23 times in the thigh, and 2 times in the throat. After that, I (6m) cut up her (43f) body, put it inside a fridge, and I (6m) waited 3 months 📆. During that time, I survived on dust mites lol 🤣When the time ⏰ came, I (6m) took the blood 🩸 that I took from her (43f) body, and filled my (6m) bathtub with it. I (6m) hopped in, and I (6m) took her (43f) entrails from a bucket that I (6m) had previously placed them in. After that, I (6m) took her (43f) skin, and wore it like a mask. 😷I (6m) looked just like Jacksepticye!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

So, Reddit AITA?

          Yo my slime

            Yo my slime copypasta
            Original video
            Yo my slime, I know you really don’t know mandem like that, But I was wondering if, like, I can purchase summin styl fam. Just a bit of grub my drilla. I wanna know what your prices are saying cuz Im trynna blem a zoot up with my boydem and gyaldem. G like you feel me. So get back to me cuz I know your like the top dog round ere. I wanna purchase the food from you Bruce and nobody else. So peace out tho roll safe and get back to me on the Quickting brodem
            Yooo my slime I know you really don’t know mandem like that, but I was wondering if I can purchase summin styl fam. Just a bit of grub my driller. I really wanna know what your price is saying cuz I wanna blem a zoot with my boydem and gyaldem. G you feel me. So get back to me cuz I know you’re the top dog round ere. I wanna purchase the food from you Bruce and nobody else. So peace out tho rahhh safe and get back to me on the Quickting brodem.

            James Charles Apology

              Original James Charles "Tati" apology video
              Full video
              hi all James here um I'm currently traveling abroad and just woke up but I wanted to sit down and make a video addressing all everything that's going on right now because they offer memory I owe everybody an explanation but most importantly I owe two important people an apology to Tati and James Westbrook um I'm sorry for everything that is going on everything that I have to put you through over the past few weeks I met Tati and James almost three years ago now when I was first coming into the industry and when I had no friends and nobody to talk to or look up to and Tati very quickly took on a parental role with me because she knew my parents were across the country and over the past few years of knowing her family her and her husband have given me so much love and advice and opportunities and a place to stay and a shoulder to cry out at 3:00 in the morning and support when nobody else would or wanted to and it and I'm so disappointed in myself that I ruined our relationship that that did mean so much to me even if I didn't to the best job of showing it all the time and throw all of this what sucks the most is that I know there's nothing I can say or do to ever earn that friendship or trust back but I don't blame them for it a lot of my most of my career over the past few years has been about me making mistakes and trying to learn and grow from them and I haven't always done the best job of that I can admit that but I have always tried because I know there's a lot of people watching me and that a lot of people look up to me as a role model and I hate knowing that I disappointed not really them but most importantly to people that have been role models to me doing this I wish that I could say this is the last time that I would make a mistake but it won't be I know that of disappoint people more and more as I continue to learn and grow every single day I have a long way to go very long way to go but that's okay um I'm gonna keep trying my best and keep learning and growing and be the best version of me that I possibly can be I'm sorry for that in regards to the Coachella situation with the brand deal on the security guard I've already told my truth about this twice and instead of talking about it for a third time and explaining it and going into detail and pulling up receipts it doesn't matter and I'm I understand that no matter what I say or do they're always going to be people that don't believe me and will think that I'm lying that's okay at this point the truth really does not matter it's the feelings that do and no matter what happened I heard two very very important people and they've been really really loyal to me and I ain't betrayed that no songs and I wish more than anything that I could take it back in regards to the boys situation boys have been a topic that I've talked a lot about on my social media journey and it's a topic that I wish I hadn't I've been involved a lot of very unique and strange situations that I've left people confused or upset and I've learned the hard way about ways that I can interact with boys that I'm interested in and also ones that I should or shouldn't be talking to this is a conversation that I know a lot of people are uncomfortable with and it's something that I should have been far more careful with bringing into the public eye especially with a lot of situation that just happened I've had to learn it the hard way but coincidentally enough talk to you really was one of the people to sit me down and tell me how it looked from the outside and let me know hey talking to these boys might get you in trouble one day and she's right in regards to my own mother well I know you want to defend me and fight for me and go off on comments but I ask that you don't this is my problem that I thought myself into and this is my job to deal with this no matter what is anybody is saying or commenting or talking about mom I need you to know that you're the most important person in my life and think you are an amazing mother and I don't know what I would do without you and I'm so grateful for everything that you've done for me and the lessons that you have taught me and and everything that you continue to do for me and my brother and I need you to know that engage you to know that and the same thing goes for Tati as well who is an amazing person and truly does want the best for everybody around her I'm so disappointed myself that I her um a lot of times when I've had to address things in the past I knocked it out of impulse and I've got off and tried to pull receipts or fax or screenshots it'll play the victim and I'm not doing that today kind of loud to say I'm sorry