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Oh yeah my dick is 5 feet long actually

    Oh yeah my dick is 5 feet long actually, it's a real problem for me, I have to get really specific pants and it hinders my everyday life dramatically. I vividly remember this one time I woke up in the middle of the night and somehow someway I actually was completely hard for the first time in my life. However I was quickly reminded that in order for my 5 foot penis to be erect, it would mean a large portion of my blood would be redirected into the shaft of my penis. My excitement was quickly and promptly ended when I fainted due to a lack of blood in my brain. Now everyday I fear that this event happens in public and my massive 5 foot penis bursts through my special pants and it's promptly followed by me fainting and falling on the floor with my dick out for all to see.

    Alvin the sussy imposter

      Also, he had a big red A on his shirt, which as I’m sure you can guess, stands for…
      Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is not a chipmunk. This is proven by the name "Alvin and the Chipmunks", as you can see, Alvin is separated from the chipmunks, suggesting that Alvin is an entirely different species, making him an "imposter" amongst the others. Also, in "The Chipettes", Brittney has the strongest resemblance to Alvin, so why is it not called "Brittney and the Chipettes". So all that proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk. Not to mention that Alvin wears red, and I'm not sure about you, but that seems awfully sus to me. In the video game "Among us", the color red is was the birth of the obnoxious catchphrase, "red sus", being that the color red in the game is a stereotype that they are the imposter. While that might be unrelated, keep in mind that Alvin wears red too, and he is also the imposter amongst the other chipmunks. So this proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk, or anything like that. Alvin is just a sussy amogus imposter.

      The word “sus” needs to be eradicated from society

        Sussy baka
        I don’t think I need to explain more. Even when used ironically I want to die. If anyone near me uses that word the first thing I’ll want to do is take them to the top floor of a nice hotel and throw them out of the window

        Killjoy R34

          Source
          Good fucking God. She is so fucking hot and beautiful. Look at her massive tits just waiting to fucking burst out and expose her sensitive little nipples ready to be licked. Her face is so beautiful her eyes are telling me that she wants my cock and her mouth is so ready to have my cock inside of it imagine making her fucking gag and choke with my massive American cock. Imagine how silky and smooth her perfect Germanic hair is. Her tits also look super soft. My eyes gaze upon them and slowly descend, glancing at her perfectly toned stomach, the definition being clear as day. The transition from toned, slim waist to her fulsome hips, amazing ass and then to her thick thighs. My cock is fucking throbbing right now. I would rip that black lace off and fucking ravage her; make her my personal hessian plaything, although she is of perfect Germanic phenotype, and I wouldn’t want to mess with perfection, haha! I would fucking cum in her so much my balls would be shriveled up like a Capri-Sun packet in the hands of a thirsty, lower class drug addict who craves saccharinity almost as much as they crave heroin and marijuana. Her ass and cunt would be red and sore from me fucking her so much and from her cumming and squirting. I’m actually going to have to leave my desk at work and go to the bathroom to relieve myself after having seen this image, for I fear that if I do not my performance will suffer due to me constantly thinking about this (and I do not want that given how I care about my career). She is just so fucking beautiful. There’s a puddle of pre-cum in my expensive underwear right now for this perfectly little busty hessian doll. Fuck.

          Stonks 📈🍆

            When the stocks 📊📝 go up 📈💸, my dick goes too 🍆⬆️😳. Bullish 🐂 market 🏬 makes me hard 🦴💦. All the countries 🏳️🏴🏴‍☠️🏁🚩🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇳 try to recover 🔄 from corona 🦠 so the money 💰💵💸 flows 🌬 into my pocket 💳. Soon 🔜 there will be a crash 📉😭🥺😖 and the bears 🐻 will crawl 🚼 out of their holes 🕳. Then they cut off my greedy dick ✂️🍆🩸 if I don’t ❌ eat ’em out 👅😸. I must turn into a bear 🐂➡️🐻 and make 🤌🏼 more money 💰💵💸 and eat some honey 🐻🍯. When I’m done ✅ I’ll throw a party 🎉🍷🍾 and eat your ass 👅🍑.