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Send this to anyone who corrects your spelling

    Perfect ice breaker, thank you
    whats that? holy shit. holy fucking shit. you fucking genius. did you actually just correct someone's spelling? you fucking madlad. i can't believe i just witnessed one of the greatest achievements in human history right now. i think im gonna cry, im so excited. to be honest, i would suck your dick to reward you for your HUGE contribution to the human race if the line wasnt so long. you know what? fuck it. ill let you fuck my wife. ill pay you to fuck her. only for the slim chance that one of her kids will have a small part of your magnificent iq. ill mortgage my fucking house just so you could have 15 minutes with her, while hoping that your MASSIVE cock won't rip her in half. after that, we should start a religion for you. fuck jesus, the only thing this dick did is resurrect himself. you are entitled to the praise he's getting. we should make you immortal. losing you would mean stopping the human evolution and we would all revert to monkeys, not that we are more than monkeys in your majestic presence. I suggest we go to the UN and tell them to hand over all their authority to you, im sure you can unite all the people of the world just with a single swing of your cock, making the entire population wet in the process. just before that one more thing: can you shut the fuck up? nobody cares about that fucking typo you single chromosomed retarded gnome. I bet you think you are so fucking smart and witty after pointing something that didnt bother anyone. God, you are fucking pretentious, i bet you actually believed all of the text above. Did you think i would let you fuck my wife? She is only 12 you sick paedophile. Im calling the police so you could be tortured for eternity while your remains will be forcibly fed to everybody from your family or anyone even remotely related to you while they are forced to anally fuck a penguin. no, seriously do you think i'm joking? i'll come to your house and fuck your ass with a cactus. not that you would feel it after all the things you already had up there. you're a fucking twat that doesnt contribute to society and you deserve to die slowly.

    I HATE YOU MIHOYO ★☆☆☆☆

      Kokomi attempts to negotiate peace with the Shogun 
      I HATE YOU MIHOYO ★☆☆☆☆

Why sis you nerf Kokomi. WHY HUH. *grows demon alpha wings and strangles you* YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING. *breathes fire on your face* WHY DID YOU GIVE ME YOMIYA AT 9 PITY? WHEN YOU KNEW I WANTED KOKOMI? *flies into the air* AND ARE WE ONLY GETTING 10 LIMITED WISHES ON THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY? THAT'S NOTHING COME ON. *starts singing fight song* (Also please give me the fish claymore.)

      My mom found cum on my bed

        magine not shooting it in the air and catching it in your mouth.
        So this morning when I woke up my mom pulled my sheets up and there was this small stain on my dark sheets. She pointed at it and said "you have any idea what this is?"

I said "maybe it's butter?" because a couple days ago I was eating popcorn on my bed and I hoped that would be enough of an explanation for her.

She said "it couldn't be because it's not oily. Listen, if you're going to do that, just clean up better or go to the bathroom"

I'm so glad my mom understands and is ok with it :D (and just to clarify, she's ok with me doing that as long as I'm not watching anything, then she has a problem)

Edit: i used a tissue but I came too much and the tissue wasn't enough so some of it rolled down the side of my hip

        Why are women so surprised that penis can stretch?

          But that was all she had 😔
          My girlfriend was playing with my balls and she was amazed that they weren't perfect spheres but more like eggs. Then she tried to switch em around (left to right witch kinda scared me) and lost her shit. I took the opportunity to show her all the amazing penis and ball maneuvers I could think of like stretching ball skin apart to make it flat. She was in awe of how much fun it seemed and said she was jealous. I'm guessing this is just something new to them? She showed me the fabled labia clap but that was all she really had

          Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

            The orignal Rawhide Kobayashi Japamerican copypasta origin
            Original pasta
            Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!

            POV: You sit next to a weeb

              If somebody ever unironically calls themselves otaku, you run in the opposite direction
              Says good morning in Japanese “classes started! Oh hi!! 😁What’s this? This is a death note, you probably don’t know what it is cause you are not otaku like me baka😡. Hey, can you tell me your name? ✍️ I’m joking! I would never write your name, only Paula’s. Heheh I’m just kidding. I would never do something to hurt people. Hhshehhsh 🤪. What?! Where’s Raul-kun??? Eeee his on a holiday to... Cuba heh. Whatever, changing the subject, do you like my lil ears?? 😸 They are so kawai! 🤪What? You don’t like them?? Why not? 🥺You think I’m annoying?!?? I’m not annoying!!😡 My mom said that in the past and never came back. 😢Ok, I’ll go wahhh wahhh 😭