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My name is Screwllum Rubert. I’m 450 Amber Cycles old.

    Its the “My name is Yoshikage Kira” copypasta from JJBA but changed to Screwllum from Honkai Star Rail.

    My name is Screwllum Rubert. I’m 450 Amber Cycles old. My planet is in the northeast sector of the Screwllum System, where all the robots are, and I am not married. I work as a Genius at the Herta Space Station and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don’t smoke, but I occasionally drink. I shut down by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep mode, no matter what. After having a glass of warm motor oil and doing about twenty minutes of calibrations before shutting down, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like an organic infant, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning.

I was told there were no issues at my last virus scan. I’m trying to explain that I’m a person who wishes to live a very erudite life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me knowledge. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn’t lose to anyone.

    Parody of the “My name is Skyler White yo” meme from Breaking Bad but changed to Screwllum.

    My name is Screwllum, yo.

BOOM!

My path is erudition, yo.

BOOM!

Uh huh.

BOOM!

Herta told me everything.

    I’m sick of BBK. I try to play Jenua. My BBK deals more damage.

      Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed into Blood Blade Karin (BBK) from Epic Seven.

      I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of BBK. I try to play Jenua. My BBK deals more damage. I try to play Vildred. My BBK deals more damage. I try to play Spez. My BBK deals more damage. I want to play Ran. His best team has BBK. I want to play Cleave, Standard. They both want BBK.

She grabs me by the throat. I farm for her. I roll gear for her. I give her Destruction. She isn't satisfied. I pull Shepherd. "I don't need this much evasion" She tells me. "Give me eff res." She grabs Ran and forces him to throw himself at enemies. "You just need to summon more. I can deal more damage now with Hostess."

I can't pull for Hostess. I don't have enough bookmarks. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "A crack." She grabs her sword. She says "This blade desires blood." There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but pure double immortality no defense penetration reliant attack scaling damage. What a cruel world.

      Picture this, you log into Tinder, see a decent girl…

        Part of a series of Tinder’s copypasta found in user profile bio in an attempt to be funny.

        Picture this, you log into Tinder, see a decent girl, a 7/10 at best. Unsure whether to swipe right but you read her bio you like it, it's interesting. Fuck it, you swipe right. BOOM. You match. You start talking. Conversations are engaging. She listens, she cares, she's genuine. You bring her home for holidays, your family loves her. A couple years pass and you get married. Cool story? 
It's not gonna happen but I'll do anal
        Imagine this. You log onto Tinder. See a decent guy, maybe a 7/10. You’re unsure about which way to swipe but you read his bio. You like it, it’s captivating. Fuck it, you swipe right. BOOM. You match. You start talking. Conversations are engaging. He listens, he cares, he's genuine. You bring him home forthe holidays. Your family loves him. A couple years pass. You get married. You found a love in a hopeless place. Cool story? Well this is not going to happen, but I can fuck you in the ass

        I own a shotgun for home defense Borderlands edition

          Its the “own a musket for home defense” copypasta but changed into Borderlands universe. 

          I own a shotgun for home defense, since that's what Singleton Talbot Jakobs intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my monogrammed bathrobe and double-barrelled pump-action. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because I'm half blind and nail a chandelier. I've to resort to the secret trap activated by pullin' a fake book, "See ya in hell boys" the trapdoor sends two men to their deaths, the sound of their screams agitate the saurians outside. Get out the fancy hand-carved bone knife my husband gave me and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting for the robo-butlers to arrive since wounds from serrated weapons are near impossible to stitch up. Just as Singleton intended.

          You are my CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶

            You are my CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 You are my CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 You are my CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 今際の際際で踊りましょう 東京前線興の都 往生際の際際で足掻きましょう お行儀の悪い面も見せてよ I CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 you, CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 謳い続けましょう 如何痴れ者も 如何余所者も 心燃える一挙手一投足 走り出したらアンコントロール You are my CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 無茶苦茶にしてくれないかい？ 一切を存分に喰らい尽くして 一生迷宮廻遊ランデブー 眩暈がする程 You are my CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 有耶無耶な儘廻る世界 No, no, no! そう冷静にはならないで 一生迷宮廻遊ランデブー 誰が如何言おうと You are my CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 We are CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 You are my CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 土俵際の際際で堪えましょう 東京沿線大荒れ模様 報道機関 氣裸氣裸 血走ります 冷静と俯瞰は御法度です Get CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 in me 自分を庇う言葉ばかりを いつまで言い聞かせるの？ Get CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 in me 生き様を悔いるなんて そんなの御免だわ 応答してよ 其体温感じたいの 低体温のフローが点けた青い炎 ロマンティックに誤魔化さないで 単刀直入に切り裂いて 熱っぽいラブソングには酔えないよもう I CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 you, CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 I CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 you, CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 今際の際際で踊りましょう 東京前線興の都 往生際の際際で足掻きましょう お行儀の悪い You are my CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 無茶苦茶にしてくれないかい？ 未来を存分に喰らい尽くして 一生迷宮廻遊ランデブー 眩暈がする程 You are my CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 有耶無耶な儘廻る世界 No, no, no! そう冷静にはならないで 一生迷宮廻遊ランデブー 誰が如何言おうと You are my CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 We are CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 冷静にはならないで We are CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 あなたはそのままで We are CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 どこまでも特別よ We are CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 誰が如何言おうと You arе my CHILLSZ 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶.

            Thats fucking esports right there

              It’s the “Thats fucking football right there” copypasta but changed into CS in response to NiKo smashing his table on LAN. The incident has become an iconic CS moment hence the memes about it. 

              Thats fucking esports right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging smile for the webcam bullshit. NiKo punches, NiKo bleeds on the stream, NiKo delivers their new born baby on their HyperX Alloy Elite 2 Mechanical Gaming Keyboard™. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball Counter-strike fuck it chuck it shoot it game time shit. Esports are back, baby