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I was a born with no cock😢😞, well until…

    Well I was born and my parents always told me I'm a boy even though I doesn't have a cock which confuse me😕, and where the cock should be is just a hole of nothingness, It just looks like a vagina to me but my parents always tell me I WAS A BOY!!! I suffered through school as no kid does, I don't fucking know which fucking toilet should I go in!?😡 And sometimes the boys in my class would tell me to show them my cockn't and they would gang rape my cockn't because basically it's just a vagina😭.
    
    Well I thought I was gonna be like that until one day when I reached 18 yrs old, my dad tell me to go down the basement and...
    
    He unzip is pant and pulled out his dick😨, and I was like ayo wtf dad noooo fuck no plz dad why are you doing this? He tell me to be quiet🤐 It is not like was I was thinking... He then plugged his dick into my asshole (I knew it wtf!) But suddenly my cockn't grow out a cock!!! O0O It doesn't look normal, IT WAS SHINY GOLDEN COCK!!!!😲 My dad later explained that I was born in a ROYAL FAMILY OF COCK X-MEN! And I was the chosen one, every 1000 years a male will be born with a hole that contains the power of the whole lineage. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I shouted, "You wasn't mature yet to hold its power!!" Ma dad replied. So this dick basically is powered by my Heart which uses heat from my body. And so the next day I went to the house of the bitches who raped me in school and I turned my dick into a canon and bombarded his ass with 2 tons of cum! (His house was destroyed too) I then make my cock spin like a helicopter and flew away to rape womans and men and bitches who raped me and that's where I start my revenge and become COCKMAN, Raper of the night

    I can shit without peeing

      I’m 21 currently, and working at a university as assistant in Boston, life is good, very busy on academical papers, making chats with so called high intellectual debates.... Sometimes this loop becomes too consuming.. I have funny stories or rather interesting ones at least to tell, but have no body to tell..
      
      There is an ability of me I perfected, and since I realize it, there is an urge to tell people about it, yet have no one to tell...
      
      I had finished my uni in couple of years, in a very short time. During this years, I met this guy —my ex bf.. Who crawls for anal sex mostly, and although I was a little bit, a step away from it, very okey with it. Latter in the relationship, I become curious about it, and due to his admiration to anal sex, we started to do ony anal and tried stuff which are on porns. Some of them was great, some of them was average, yet I enjoyed all of them.
      
      During this 2 years of all anal sex process, I have had full control of my rectum muscles, so that when we tried nasty things, it was no problem; what ever, after the breakup I realized that due to my control over my “ass muscles”, I can take a dump without peeing. Most people always talked about you can pee without taking poop, but not vice verse.
      
      I have perfected the art of shitting without peeing and I want to, at least, tell this ability of me to someone. Thats it.

      League is so toxic

        League of Legends copypasta
        My jungler called me an “omega fart” and I really took that into heart and even ended up crying. Why would anyone say such a thing? I’m NOT an “omega fart” I am a human being. What the fuck even is an “omega fart”? Fuck this game.

        I met Tyler1

          Tyler1 copypasta
          I met Tyler1 about 6-7 days ago. I got roped into watching my 3 month old niece while my sister got her hair done. So there I am, sitting in the waiting area of a hair salon with my niece, and who walks in but Tyler1 himself.
          
          I was nervous as shit, and just kept looking at him as he played games on his phone and waited, but was too scared to say anything to him. Pretty soon my niece started crying, and I'm trying to quiet her down because I didn't want her to bother Tyler, but she wouldn't stop. Pretty soon he gets up and walks over. He started running his hands through her hair and asked what was wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry or something. So Tyler put down his phone, picked up my niece and lifted his shirt. He breast fed her right there in the middle of the hair salon. Chill guy, really nice about it.

          Ides of March

            today👏is👏the👏ides of march❗️❗️❗️📆😜 Julius Caesar 💬might💬 have gotten💘the knife😩 but I'm ❌NOT❌🙅 going to stab🔪🔪YOU in the back👌🙏 because you're my 👬HOMIE! send this to 1⃣5⃣ Rulers 👑of Greece that you 🚫won't🚫 stab in the back 🔪🔪 ET TU BROTE?? 🙊
            FRIENDS 😲 ROMANS 🤣 COUNTRYMEN 👏‼️ LEND 🤙 ME YOUR 👵🏼 EARS 👂🏼🙏 You Know 🎓📚 What 🤔 Today 📆 Is ⁉️ BEWARE ⚠️🙅🏽‍♂️ the IDES ✅ OF MARCH ‼️‼️ RIP 😇😢 To My Man 👨🏽 JULIUS CAESAR 🌿😔😭 Today 📆 you must 😾👍 RIP 💨THAT JUULius 😂😩 in the 👏 name of CAESAR 🌿😂‼️ Send this to 1️⃣5️⃣ ANCIENT ROMANS ‼️ for unlimited 👏🔂 RIPS 💨 of that JUULius 🙏🌿
            It's 🌲MARCH🌲 1ST BITCHES👄! U KNOW WHAT DAT MEAN👌🏻 ITS THE 💦🎉ANNIVERSARY🎉💦 OF EMPEROR🙏🏻 DIOCLETIAN👨🏾 APPOINTING CONSTANTIUS CHLORUS👨🏻 AND GALERIUS👨🏼 AS CAESARS🍆🍑😫, REPRESENTING DAT SHIFT😂😂 TO THE 🙏🏻MF🙏🏻 ROMAN💯 TETRARCHY👌🏻🍆! 😫👅💦CLICC DAT MF SHIT😂😂👌🏻 IF U WANT SOME 👨🏿BIG👨🏿 ROMAN 🍆DICK🍆 TO CELEBRATE THAT SHIT 🍑FAM😂😂😫😪. THESE FOOLZ👨🏿 BEEN UP TRAPPING🍑👅 REAL MF HOURS SINCE 293😳😳. U BETTER PUT😏 YO 👨🏼MANS DICK🍆 IN YO MOUTH👅 FOR 🔥 DIOCLETIAN 🔥💦😏 AND HIS GIRL👩🏽 WHO HAD THE FATTEST 🙏🏻🍑🍑BOOTY🍑🍑 🙏🏻IN THE WESTERN 🌎🙌🏻WORLD🙌🏻🌚. SHARE THIS 🌭SHIT🌭 WITH THE 💣THICKEST💣 💯CUM💯 💦THIRSTY💦 BITCHES👩🏽👩🏽 U KNOW SO U GET 💯GOOD💯 🍑ASS🍑 DICK🍆 THIS MONTH💣🍆🙏🏻👅🔥🌭🍑💯😂6️⃣9️⃣
            ET TU, BOOTAY⁉️⁉️ The RIDES 💯💯💯 👀👀👀 of March 📅📅 has CUM 💦💦💦💦👉👌 get ready to roman BUST A NUT‼️‼️ 💥💥🌰🌰🌰 Best wishes to all you SENATE SLUTS 👅🌽👅🌽 doesn't matter if you're a plebeian 🏚🏚🏚💸💸 or PUSSYtrician 😼😼😼🤑🤑🤑 because DADDY 👅👨👅👨 Brutus is the DICKtator 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆 we all deserve 👄👄 just like juliASS 🍑😩🍑😩🍑 caesar we're gonna get stabbed 🔪 🍌🔪🍌 2️⃣3️⃣ times in the BACK 🌽🌽🌽🍑🍑🍑 tonight. send this to 1️⃣5️⃣ of your BEST 😏😏😏 Senate Sluts 🏛🏛🏛👉👌get 5️⃣ back and you're a BACK 🍑🍑 STABBER 🔪🌽🔪🌽🔪 get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and you're a citizen of the roman repubLICK 👅👄👅👄👅 get 1️⃣5️⃣ back and you're a glaDICKator 🍌🍌🍆🍆🏟🏟🏟

            Schrodinger’s blowjob

              Cursed Schrodinger's blowjob copypasta
              Schrodinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmosome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?