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I hate the Dung Eater

    Dung Eater copypasta

    Open Dung Eater rant

    I hate the Dung Eater beyond what can be considered healthy. I will go out of my way to torture him every single play through from now on
    
    Big Boggart is my homie. I would die for prawnbro and will do anything to make sure he can happily cook up crab for the rest of his days. I had killed the Dung Eater right when I found him my first play through because he was acting sketchy as fuck and I thought that if I didn’t it would be like the darkbeast in disguise from Bloodborne where he would kill and ruin a bunch of NPC quest lines. As I was starting my next game, someone told me all of it. His curse, what he does to Boggart, and what his ending entails.
    
    First off, the fact that such a lowly sack of subhuman garbage even gets his own ending to the game is ridiculous. He doesn’t deserve it. Not even remotely. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like Gideon Ofnir, but he’s much more important and he doesn’t get his own ending? Hell, a LOT of characters are important and warranting of their own ending, but it’s Dung Eater that gets it.
    
    Second, the philosophy of his ending is stupid as fuck. Omens are beings cursed from birth that are outside of the Erdtree’s blessing. Doesn’t seem like there’s a solid consensus on why it happens, but it does, and it sucks. It is an eternal curse, horrific to live through and guaranteeing basically unending and undeserved pain and suffering, and the Golden Order only makes it worse through their shunning and mistreatment of the Omens. Disdain for the current state of the Golden Order is understandable from the other side, and since those who have felt the curse are in suffering, the end goal should be to elevate their status, extending love to them and bringing them into Grace, yes? No. Dung Eater would rather hurt everyone than to help the few that need it. He would rather take everyone and everything as low as it possibly can go to make all equal in the eyes of purity because he wants everyone and everything to be as disgusting and vile as he is. He isn’t even an Omen, he’s just so vile that he revels in everything that is awful about the Omen Curse.
    
    My girlfriend asked me what is so bad about him. I explained it by basically saying for her to imagine if Heaven was empirically proven to be real and we knew the exact way you had to get there. Imagine then if there was man; he was the ugliest man ever born that perpetually smelled like absolute shit, fetishized basically the innocent people that get sent to hell, and his sole mission in life was running around, torturing and murdering as many innocent people as he possibly could (thousands) and raping their corpses with his putrid dick to implant a curse into them that keeps them from going to heaven and sentences them to an eternity of suffering, and his ultimate end goal is to spread his demonic aids so far and wide that eventually every child born will be cursed to suffer physically, mentally, and spiritually in the worst way possible for all eternity, all in the hopes of making everyone and everything as ugly and vile as he is.
    
    He is utterly repulsive. Everything about him. I hate his voice. I hate his armor. I hate his sword. I noticed when he was bashing his head against the wall this NG+ that his greasy hair stuck out the back of his helmet and almost vomited. I sold all gear associated with him when I got it, just holding it made me feel unclean and I would never equip it. I don’t care what kind of poise or stats his armor has, it’s so fucking ugly and he’s all I can equate it to and just seeing someone wear it in multiplayer fills me with disgust and makes me dislike them.
    
    This NG+ I devised the way that I can subject him to the maximum amount of suffering possible. I didn’t send prawnbro to the moat, I wouldn’t until after he had been dealt with. Going into Leyndell was a sublime and incredible moment, as always, and I once again took several minutes to bask in the music, the glory of the city, and the Erdtree’s gargantuan scope. Then, I focused on getting underground. My hands were literally shaking with anticipation. I freed him, feeling absolutely disgusting all the while. Just being close to him made me, myself, the real world me, feel physically unclean. He was freed. I went to the moat and crushed him as violently as possible. Then, I sent prawnbro there, where he could be safe, and gathered four of the five seedbed curses. Once I had them I gave them to him. Slow. I made sure that he stayed tied down to that chair down there for as long as possible, listening to his moans and screams with each curse he received. I don’t know if this was better or worse for him, as he clearly is suffering, but it could just as easily be argued that he’s relishing in this suffering. I may just not collect any of the curses aside from the first obligatory one next time. Then, I fed him Seluvis’s potion. THIS is where the suffering is at its climax, and in the truest, best way possible. Hearing the fear in his voiced the denial, the pain. It’s incredible. Everything that makes him special is yanked out from under him like a rug, and now he gets to enjoy a new eternal suffering. One without any freedom, one where he isn’t anything special. And one where he never gets the chance to hurt anyone again, not unless I want him to. And I won’t give him the chance. Not ever.
    
    How exactly does being a puppet work? Do you hold onto your awareness? Are you perfectly aware, remembering who you were and the life you lead, with your thoughts and ambitions, but no control over yourself? I feel like it’s probably like the hypnotic state in Get Out, or like the Black Lanterns from Blackest Night, where you’re just a passenger in your own body with full awareness and zero control. This would be quite sad for puppets like the Finger Maiden that that bastard Seluvis trapped, but just because of the Dung Eater, I hope it’s true. I hope he reaches the blackest pits of despair within his own mind, I hope every plea, every curse, every repentance that his mind could ever reach falls onto deaf ears forever, not that he is capable of regret, as much as I wish he was so that he could be even more tortured by himself for bringing this upon himself. Then again, just how highly he thinks of himself and being trapped in such a fate should be suffering enough.
    
    This time I took his puppet from Selivus, but I’ll never use it. 1) I don’t need to and 2) if killing is truly so important to him, I want his suffering to be elevated even further by never being able to take a life again, even if not of his own volition. I like to think that after becoming Elden Lord (unless you go Lord of Chaos), you can do something even worse to him to make sure that he remains an imprisoned puppet for ever.
    
    Long story short, I hate the Dung Eater far, far more than is probably normal or healthy for anyone to dislike a fictional character.

    The Longest Ratio

      don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + dilate + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio+ backup ratio + yb better + you take fucking redpills and say that its and to "socialize" + you have no social credit + BING CHILLING + super idol 105 C is the best musical performance in the whole history of mankind + Adolf Hitler (German: [ˈadɔlf ˈhɪtlɐ] (About this soundlisten); 20 April 1889 – 30 April 1945) was an Austrian-born German politician who was the dictator of Germany from 1933 until his death in 1945. He rose to power as the leader of the Nazi Party,[a] becoming the chancellor in 1933 and then assuming the title of Führer und Reichskanzler in 1934.[b] During his dictatorship, he initiated World War II in Europe by invading Poland on 1 September 1939. He was closely involved in military operations throughout the war and was central to the perpetration of the Holocaust, the genocide of about six million Jews and millions of other victims + don't care + didn't ask + you're white + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + repeat + mald seethe cope harder + hoes mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your're a (insert stereotype) + not funny didn't laugh + you're* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + ratio again + final ratio + stay mad + stay pressed + pedophile + cancelled + done for + mad free + freer than air + rip bozo + slight_smile + cringe again + mad cuz bad + lol + irrelevant + cope + jealous + go ahead whine about it + your problem + don't care even more + sex offender + not okay + glhf + problematic + GOOF the famous rapper has gone diamond on his album "ON DA SKATEBOARD" + can i get a Chick-fil-a Chicken Sandwich and a Spicy Chicken Sandwich + FAMOUS RAPPER GOOF JUST GROOMED A CHILD IN REAL LIFE HE WAS ACTUALLY THE ZAMN GUY ALL ALONG + black person + white person + mexican person + squid game person + left wing + right wing + chicken wing+ you fell off + ratio + you're white + you're british + who asked + no u + deez nuts + radio + don't care + didn't ask + i'm a minor + i'm neurodivergent + caught in 4k + cope + seethe + GG + in 1947 the world's first general purpose computer, the 30 ton ENIAC was created + your mom's + the hood watches markiplier now + grow up + L + L (part 2) + retweet + ligma + taco bell tortilla crunch + think outside the bun + ur benched + ur a wrench + i own you + ur dad fell off + my dad could beat ur dad up + ur aimhacking + silver elite + tryhard + boomer + sksksksk + ur beta + i'm sigma + ur submissive + L (part 3) + yb better + ur sus + this is a cry for help and i'm extremely depressed. + quote tweet + you're cringe + i did your mom + you bought monkey nft + you're weirdchamp + you're a clown + my father left me at the age of 4 and i never recovered since + my dad owns steam + who want me? + i'm lonely + they didn't think it could possibly happen, but they're releasing L

      It’s Morbin time.

        #morbiussweep Morbin time
        It's so fucking great, the adrenaline made me legitimately shit my pants, and the dialog writing was phenomenal. When morbius said "It's Morbin time." It was such an amazing way to deal with current problems of our society. I actually got up and cheared when he said "I'm venom. Just kidding I'm dr. Micheal morbius at your service" such a beautiful way to showcase all their properties that made me stand up and chear, pants dripping with my shit and all. When they said "To humans it's deadly to bats its lethal" I actually came. I wasn't able to stop Cumming because the whole movie was so amazing that I was literally erect. Eventually I unzipped my pants and I started jacking off to this masterpiece. Security came to escort me out but luckily there was a fight scene just then so I was able to fight them off using the moves in the movie. 100/10 amazing movie, made me shit, cum and fight.

        I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep.

          Sushi in butthole copypasta
          He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.

          Darth JPOW The Wise

            "Inflation is transitory"
            Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. It’s a 🏳️‍🌈🐻 legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflation… He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be… transitory. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.

            Quantum Tv

              I just wanna thank everyone for sticking with me. It's obvious most of these other reviewers like Stop the Fomo, Digital Trends, and HDTV Test are just satanist in disguise. Every time I've seen one of their videos you can tell they are trying to brain wash the masses into their gay liberal satanic atheist agenda. One minute someone could be watching Stop the Fomo, and the next minute they start having anal sex with their dads, doing coke and trying to conjure demons with satanic rituals, Satanic Influence isn't a joke. It was obvious already when Stop the Fomo ended up using the Lucifer logo to praise Satan and claimed he was just "testing for blooming". I hate atheist with their satanic rituals. Every one of these people are going to hell and suffer for eternity. They need an ass kicking from some christians. Also all the troll comments from satanic atheist are getting banned. All the satanic gay atheist people accusing me of being a coward for deleting my video, I only had to delete them because of YouTubers gay agenda instead of people getting upset at me, why don't they just let me be? Because they are heterophobic anti-christian pieces of shit. I don't want to participate in the anal sex the liberal people tell me to. Remember to stay strong in the faith of Christ who died for our sins. God loves you and love will prosper.