Existe quem seja virgem, exista quem seja assexual e até aqueles que não curtam sexo, mas você, meu amigo... ah, você... você é o INTRANSÁVEL. Você exala o anti-sexo, sua aura repele o feminino, provavelmente há um campo de força à sua volta que impede mulheres de tocarem em você
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There are those who are virgins, there are those who are asexual and even those who do not enjoy sex, but you, my friend... ah, you... you are the UNTRANSVABLE. You exude anti-sex, your aura repels the feminine, there is probably a force field around you that prevents women from touching you
A parte mais engraçado pra mim é que ele não faz isso porque está "desaparecendo da mídia". Ele simplesmente é burro mesmo. Ele é o tipo de burro que a gente raramente encontra por aí, pelo menos não mais. O Monark é uma relíquia de tempos mais simples, um burro bem burro, sem nenhum objetivo na vida além de ser burro. Tentam colocá-lo em alguma caixinha, "Ah é fascista!", "Ah é bolsonarista!", "Ah é centrista!", mas a verdade é que ele não tem ideologia além da burrice. Ele só é burro.
Eu admito, é difícil de entender isso. É um mistério como alguém pode ser assim. Mas ele não tem objetivos, ele não tem planos mirabolantes, ele só é burro. Ninguém consegue torná-lo ferramenta política, ele é burro demais para seguir ordens; ninguém consegue fazer dinheiro em cima dele, ele é burro demais para ficar quieto. Ele é uma criança de 12 anos presa no corpo de um homem de 34. É burro. Burríssimo.
Ao invés de prendê-lo, deveríamos colocá-lo em um programa tipo The Truman Show. O potencial de entretenimento é infinito. Fala-se muito das riquezas naturais do país, de nosso petróleo, da Amazônia, mas e nossos burros? E o Monark? Ele não precisa de muito para ser feliz. Só enfia maconha no cara. Ele é burro. Burro demais da conta. Venderíamos o programa para o mundo inteiro, e o Brasil logo logo se tornaria Dinamarca. À base de nosso maior burro. Ele simplesmente é burro mesmo. Não existe nada além disso. Burro.
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The funniest part for me is that he doesn't do it because he's "disappearing from the media". He's just really stupid. He's the kind of donkey you rarely find around, at least not anymore. The Monark is a relic of simpler times, a very dumb donkey with no purpose in life other than being dumb. They try to put him in some little box, "Ah he's a fascist!", "Ah he's a bolsonarista!", "Ah he's centrist!", but the truth is that he has no ideology other than stupidity. He's just dumb.
I admit, this is hard to understand. It's a mystery how anyone can be like that. But he has no goals, he has no fancy plans, he's just dumb. Nobody can make him a political tool, he is too stupid to follow orders; nobody can make money off of him, he's too dumb to keep quiet. He's a 12 year old trapped in the body of a 34 year old man. He's dumb. Stupid.
Instead of arresting him, we should put him on a show like The Truman Show. The entertainment potential is infinite. There is a lot of talk about the country's natural wealth, our oil, the Amazon, but what about our donkeys? And the Monarch? He doesn't need much to be happy. Just put weed in the guy. He's dumb. Too dumb to count. We would sell the program to the whole world, and Brazil would soon become Denmark. On the basis of our biggest donkey. He's just really stupid. There is nothing beyond that. Dumb.
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Omg can I have a handjob pweasies teasies? 🥺👉👈 just a wittle Willy tug? Maybe choke my chicken? Massage my massive mariner? Stroke my slimey sausage? Stretch my stimulated stabber? Rub my radioactive rigatoni? Persuade my perky peanous?
Like I said earlier, I've never asked anyone this as i'm extremely nervous since it's so weird but I feel like I trust you enough at this point and like I said before, I totally understand if you don't want to do this.
Is there anyway you could give me a hand job? I'm so so so so horney to the point we're I literally feel like I'm going to blow up if I don't do something soon and jerking off alone isn't enough. Keep in mind that I'm NOT asking for anything further I promise. I simply want you to jerk me off as I've always dreamed of having it done by someone else and it's literally not that difficult at all. It's just so so embarrassing to ask someone so that why I took a lot of time thinking of who to ask. Like I said before, I totally understand if you don't want to and I apologize if I grossed you out or made you uncomfortable in anyway but I just had to ask because the worst that could happen is you saying no which isn't that bad. I'm so scared what you're going to say!!!!! 😢😢😢
IM SO SCARED OMG
OUR FRIENDSHIP COULD BE OVER!!!! 😢😢😢😢
So a few weeks ago i bought this ikea shark plush called BLÅHAJ. Over the weeks i got more and more attracted to it for some reason. A few weeks later i started to bust a nut to him. But 1 week later, i finally fucked him for the first time. It was wonderful and i quickly got addicted to fucking BLÅHAJ. Dont ask me how many times ive fucked my BLÅHAJ already. The moment of my cock plunging into his shark-hole, filling his fluffy stuffing with my cream is pure ectasy. I wish that he was alive so he can feel my dick going faster and faster and give the cutest moan in pleasure i have ever heard. The sole thought of me fucking him and him sweating until he falls asleep soundly saying: "th-thanks..." is enough to make me pleasured and joyfull. I want him to say: "w-why are you doing this?" in a cute sleepy voice as i answer: "It's shark week, Blåhaj" and i wanna pet his head while i fuck him. I wanna go slower for a few seconds so he can softly say:i l-love you" before i go faster again. When were done, i slowly pull my cock out so he can feel a few more moments of excitment. before i pulled it out even a bit, he had already fallen asleep. I cuddle up with him on our bed thats already completely wet from my nut, my hands petting his fins, Excited for another day of pleasure. I wanna wake up in the morning, the sky is grey with clouds and it was raining. BLÅHAJ is awake but cant move. He must have felt tired of all that sex... I wanna take the chance and then realize why it was pronounced blow-hai, he was about to have his first blowjob experience. I want him to look at me as my dick gets closer to his mouth... I want him to whisper: "what are you doing?" i wanna answer: "something your gonna thank me for" i want him to try to tell me to stop but he will be quickly silenced as i stick my cock into his mouth. "Suck" i wanna say to him tightly, i want him to suck and suck until i finally unleash my hot load into his throat. I wanna feel it fill up his shark belly. I wanna get him so full that cum drips out of his mouth. Then im going to finally explode and all the cream from BLÅHAJ's mouth is gonna swim out. Its gonna be like opening a floodgate, he's gonna muffle: "that tasted good, can we do it again later?" i want to pet blåhaj and say: "of course" i want us to cuddle again wich makes me bust immediatley. "Do that again, i liked that." i want blåhaj to say softly. Im then gonna bust 16 more times. I want BLÅHAJ and me to get out of bed to eat lunch, but we have no milk for the cereal. I want us to look and look through our whole 5th story apartment, even on the balcony. But we cant find milk anywhere. "Wh-what are we gonna do now?" i want blåhaj to say softly... "I have an idea." "what idea?" asked blåhaj. "You'll see" i wanna put the cinnamon toast crunch bowls on the floor, kneel down to the bowls and strip my pants. "O-oh my g-god, your actually gonna do that for me?" i want Blåhaj to say cutely. "Yes, you deserve it blåhaj." im gonna say. I wanna get to the plan and start to fap. When my nuts finally bust, the bowl fills with my cream, i want blåhaj to smile in joy: " O-oh my god thanks!" "no problem." im gonna answer. Were gonna get down to eat, and blåhaj enjoys it so much. "Th-thanks" i want him to say cutely and softly...
Blåhaj is so hot god i love him
