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I am in love with Kris Dreemurr

    Kris Dreemurr from Deltarune copypasta
    I have, since playing deltarune, become incredibly infatuated with Kris Dreemurr. Everything about them is perfect to me, they are the ideal that I wish were real. I do not know how they wormed their way into my subconscious, and I don't exactly like this new state of being I am in. I don't really like to feel emotions, and Kris Dreemurr has made me feel things I didn't even know I could feel. I wish they were real, and that I could spend the rest of my life with them. I want them to do whatever Noelle thinks they did with Susie in that supply closet to me, whatever weird kink stuff she thinks they did. I have these feelings, and I want people to know them.
    
    Thank you and good night.

    Please God, I want to impregnate Silence so bad.

      Silence from Arknights copypasta
      Please God, I want to impregnate Silence so bad. I want her to bear my children with those beautiful child-bearing hips. That beautiful, radiant angel. Like a goddess, having come down to Earth to cleanse us of our sins.
      
      Silence is beyond divine. I can't help but drop to my knees in worship whenever I see her beautiful figure even though it's behind that unnecessary gym clothes. I yearn for her in a way both Primal and spiritual. I would commit more war crimes than every president in Columbian history just to lick the sweet, glistening sweat from her smooth, creamy skin. I want to listen to her moans as my manhood throbs within her, I want to hear her heart race as our bodies become one and our souls irreversibly intertwine in the holy sin of carnal union.
      
      I want to suckle at her motherly bosom, slurping that rich juche milk from her teat as she gently strokes my raging e******n. I would stir her velvety cream into my coffee and let my balls boil in it. Her cries of pleasure and the rocking of our bed would be louder than the cacophony of ten thousand drone strikes. I would make love to her until my body gave out, and then some. I would let her break my rib cage with any part of her body. I would let her hit me with her car just to be near her for a brief moment.
      
      She's so perfect it hurts. Every moment without her I suffer a pain worse than breaking every bone in my body simultaneously while drowning and also having shards of glass coated in hot sauce forced through every orifice of my body. I want her, I need her. I want to desecrate her crisp general suit. I want to start a family with her and retire after our twenty seven children have grown up and moved out. I want to see those luscious lips speak such filthy, perverse words into my ear while she slides ice cubes down my gaping pisshole.
      
      I want to fuck her like she owes me money. I would let her step on me, just to feel the soft, firm warmth of her feet upon my face and groin area. I would sleep under her just to catch her drool in my mouth. I would fish the strands of hair from her shower drain just to smell her alluring scent, and braid them into necklaces to keep her with me always. Or cock rings. Whichever would please her more.
      
      God please, I would do anything for her. I would relinquish my life, all my hopes and dreams, just to become the socks on her feet so that I may warm her mouthwatering toes with my very being, so that she may feel the heat of my love always. I would encase myself in cement and become her doorstep, so that she may wipe her heels upon my face. I would tear my own limbs off. I don't know what l'd do after that, or why she might want my limbs. But I would do it.
      
      I would bear the torment of eternal damnation until the end of time to taste the seat of her car but once. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her, nothing wouldn't say. I would beat my own friend to death with my engorged p***s if it would bring a smile to Silenceโ€™s shining face. I wouldn't even let myself Cum until she gave me permission.
      
      I love you, Silence. Please. Be mine. Be my wife, my Lover, my mommy, my everything. Say yes. Answer my calls, respond to my letters. Something. Give me a sign, Olivia. I'm waiting for you.
      
      Iโ€™ll always be waiting for you.

      Oh๐Ÿ˜ฑyou๐Ÿซต๐Ÿปare thinking๐Ÿค”about๐Ÿ’ญmy๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿผpenis๐Ÿ†huh???

        Oh๐Ÿ˜ฑyou๐Ÿซต๐Ÿปare thinking๐Ÿค”about๐Ÿ’ญmy๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿผpenis๐Ÿ†huh??? My massive๐Ÿ˜ƒthrobbingโค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅcock๐Ÿ”? My ๐Ÿ…ฑ๏ธig ol'๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿฟfleshy๐Ÿฅฉanaconda๐Ÿ? My lowโฌ‡๏ธ hanging๐Ÿ“ฟthird๐Ÿฅ‰leg๐Ÿ—? My underwear-stretching๐Ÿฉฒ๐Ÿ˜ฉ, ass ๐Ÿ‘ hollowing๐Ÿฉ, bitch-making๐Ÿฉpocket๐Ÿ‘–rocket๐Ÿš€? You๐Ÿซต๐Ÿปmean this๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿผgod๐ŸŒฉtier ๐Ÿ”ฅhot-to-the-touch๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ’‰vein-popping๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ pornstar-grade๐Ÿง‘โ€๐Ÿซcock๐ŸŒ?

        Runaway

          Runaway by Kanye West emojified
          she ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ‘ฉ find โœ” pictures ๐Ÿšบ in ๐Ÿ• my ๐Ÿ™‚ email ๐Ÿ’ป I ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ˜‹ sent โœ‰๐Ÿ“ฌ this ๐Ÿ”ฅโฌ† bitch ๐Ÿป a picture of ๐Ÿ‘‰โ— my ๐Ÿ’ต dick ๐Ÿ† I ๐Ÿ˜ฉ don't ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ˜ก know ๐Ÿ“™ what it ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ’ฏ is with females ๐Ÿ‘ง๐Ÿ‘ฉ But ๐Ÿคšโ˜ I'm not ๐Ÿšซ too ๐Ÿ˜ก good at ๐Ÿ˜ฉ that โช๐Ÿ˜ shit ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ‘ See, ๐Ÿ™‰ I ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ’ฐ could ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ‘ˆ have ๐Ÿˆถ me a good ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ‘Œ girl โ™€๐Ÿ˜ And still be ๐Ÿ˜ฑ addicted to ๐Ÿ‘จ them ๐Ÿ˜ญ hood ๐Ÿš๐Ÿš rats And ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿ˜ฝ I ๐Ÿ‘ˆ just ๐Ÿค” blame everything ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ™Œ on ๐Ÿ˜ you ๐Ÿ‘‰ At ๐Ÿ‘ least ๐Ÿ‘ you ๐Ÿ˜ฌโ˜ know ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ˜ฑ that's ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐ŸšŸ what I'm ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‘‚ good ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘€ at ๐Ÿ‘…

          Gay version

          That's the biggest cock I ever seen ๐Ÿ‘€ Straight up out a gay porn scene ๐ŸŽฅ Who knew how big it is that dick ๐Ÿ˜ That turned me on like Stephen King ๐Ÿฅต Up late night there's precum ๐ŸŒ™๐Ÿ’ง Fully erect even when I didn't start suckin' ๐Ÿ† I told him that he have a pretty pretty big cock ๐Ÿ˜ณ I always drink his cum, oh ๐Ÿคค
          
          I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ You always make me suck your cock ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ I think it's your turn now ๐Ÿ˜Š I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ You really need to suck me now ๐Ÿ’ฆ I think I'm bussing now ๐Ÿ˜ซ Drop it, drop it ๐Ÿซณ๐Ÿซณ 'Cause I just want that Robocock ๐Ÿค–๐ŸŒ Keep movin' that Robocock ๐Ÿค–๐ŸŒ When it's going to cum your Robocock? ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ’ฆ Now I'm tired of suckin' the Robocock ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ’‹
          
          Just looking at your search history ๐Ÿ’ป I know you love gay pornography ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ˜ณ He said why I'm looking at his private things ๐Ÿ˜ก Well, my bussy's gonna bleed tonight ๐Ÿ˜ฃ Honestly I don't care 'cause that turns me on ๐Ÿ˜ Keep enough cum, I'm the cumbox now ๐Ÿ’จ I told him that he have a pretty pretty big cock ๐Ÿ˜ณ I always drink his cum, oh ๐Ÿคค
          
          I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ You always make me suck your cock ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ I think it's your turn now ๐Ÿ˜Š I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ You really need to suck me now ๐Ÿ’ฆ I think I'm bussing now ๐Ÿ˜ซ Drop it, drop it ๐Ÿซณ๐Ÿซณ 'Cause I just want that Robocock ๐Ÿค–๐ŸŒ Keep movin' that Robocock ๐Ÿค–๐ŸŒ When it's going to cum your Robocock? ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ’ฆ Now I'm tired of suckin' the Robocock ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ’‹ Somebody please make him stop ๐Ÿ›‘
          
          Stop, suck, blow-job ๐Ÿ‘„ B- I'm hot, I ๐Ÿ”ฅ Ain't used to being told, "Stop" ๐Ÿ˜ So I could be your femboy ๐Ÿšบ Fast or slow, how you would like the blowjob? ๐Ÿฅฐ Now, now now you'll cum ๐Ÿ’ฆ Now, now now you'll cum ๐Ÿ’ฆ Yeah, I grabbed his cock, he's so turned on ๐Ÿ˜ตโ€๐Ÿ’ซ You get horny when you know ๐Ÿฅต So just don't ask me how to suck ๐Ÿคช
          
          I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, uh, uh ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ Yeah, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, uh ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ
          
          You homosexual horny guy ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ™Š You're just a horny guy ๐Ÿฅต You homosexual horny guy ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ™Š You're just a horny guy ๐Ÿฅต You homosexual horny guy ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ™Š You're just a horny guy ๐Ÿฅต (you need to suck me now) You homosexual horny guy ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ™Š You're just a horny guy ๐Ÿฅต (you need to suck me now)
          
          Oh, you're fucking me ๐Ÿ˜– You must be cumming ๐Ÿ’ฆ Or you are horny ๐ŸŒก Oh, oh, you're fucking me ๐Ÿ˜– Oh, you're fucking me Ahh~, that was a good one ๐Ÿฅต My ass is full of cum now ๐Ÿ˜ซ My ass is full of cum now ๐Ÿ˜ซ You need to suck me now ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿฅบ You need to suck me now ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿฅบ Oh, you are sucking now โ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฆ

          Rodriguez is never going to play football again

            Mate, Rodriguez is never going to play football again, itโ€™s all being completely hushed up by the club at the moment, Ancelotti doesnโ€™t want the team being distracted by the run-in if the news breaks out. The players themselves havenโ€™t even been told, itโ€™s going to be the biggest news in football when it breaks - a couple of years ago he decided he wanted to live as a woman and started taking hormone pills, itโ€™s why Real got rid for nothing and no other clubs were in for him. Everton thought it was worth a punt just for the shirt sales in Colombia. Itโ€™s weakened his body which is why heโ€™s only managed 60 minutes here and there. Remember the โ€œbruised testicleโ€ earlier in the season. Hormones. After the Anfield game he decided he wanted to go through the full gender reassignment surgery, thatโ€™s why heโ€™s not been seen since. He has it done last week. FA says he canโ€™t play in the mens game anymore. Theyโ€™ve chopped his dick off lad.

            Please donโ€™t worry. If you go to the police department they will immediately open an investigation

              Please donโ€™t worry. If you go to the police department they will immediately open an investigation on this crime utilizing all available resources. Just be prepared to talk with multiple special detectives that will be enthusiastically on the case. You can expect first class white glove treatment from the moment you are happily greeted when you walk through the door. It is very clear to them that they are public servants and get paid from taxpayer dollars.