Yo, Biden. This is from Xi. Glory to the ccp🇨🇳🇨🇳
The U.S. is a shithole
Because it's your butthole
The mightiest man in the world
Who can't remember a word
You feel like you're omnipotent
But in reality you're just impotent
An adult man who can't ride a bike
Gas prices rising, ya'll soon hitchhike
Elections nearing, republicans rising
Bitch boy biden's democrats in a crisis
Impossible to attract new voters
When your plans appeal only to fat losers
Your nation celebrates pride
Here gays look for places to hide
Can't get it straight without a pile of blue pills
Or even with a room full of small young girls
The chinese man's dick may be small
But at least he can see it, you fat wall
Blm, you let the protesters run loose
Meanwhile here they're hanging in a noose
A red sun rises in the sky
Our country sings with pride
China first, America last
Try to cope with that fact
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I do not know why you talking boy you got a decepticon dildo in yo nostrils cmon nigga if you don’t get yo tangerine mrclean can i get a jelly bean urine stain rusty drain destiny 2 dlc campaign builder hut ingrown nut spread me wide and fill me up flint and steel banana peel dream just did a face reveal head ass outta my face you look like you headbutt billy goats for table scraps and slap box bears for beehives nigga you be sleeping in yo bed like an inverted fraction with yo feet on the pillow wacky ass backboard looking ass yo ass built like a woo walking semi autistic naked mole rat wit a boosie fade and yeezy slides no drip just drought lookin ass nigga you started throwing rocks at gay people calling yo self the fruity pebble yo goofy ass before you eat dinner night yo dad stand in the door way wit a belt turn around and say poco la po chi hey wassup my nigga you start skidding around your abusive father having ass stop playing nigga when yo grandfather was falling asleep on the couch you tapped his nipple and put the nigga in low power mode nice ass grandson lookin ass nigga ayo can you do me a favor and explain to me why yo grandma shooting laser beams out her nipples tf going on wit ha ugly ass tell me why everytime yo grandpa tickles you yo ass make a insert coin sound and give the nigga a coin stupid ass nigga you be like *insert coin sound x5* i’m making money stupid ass nigga you ugly ass shit you was jumping to school yesterday like *insert mario jumping sound* you threw a rock at yo dad and thought you caught a snorlax nigga yo best friend in school is a cockroach with one antenna in the back of the janitors closet you was getting bullied at school and said water breathing tenth form and started spitting every with yo broken water faucet demon slaver having ass wannabe having ass nigga you thought a jolly rancher was a happy ole redneck with yo old mcdonald had a farm eat me like a chicken parm lookin ass yo ass nasty nigga *instert squash sound* i just stepped on yo grandma is it true r false that at 2am last night this was you in yo kicthen *insert goofy ahh tip toe sound* getting a cucumber with yo lil devious ass stop playing nigga tell me why you went to taco bell and bought a bell tf you doing wit yo lil nasty ass boy
I can't remember what drug it was but in college I was at a party and I took this drug and I literally could not keep a dick out of my mouth. I remember lying on the floor unable to move but as soon as a dick was pressed against my mouth my only motivation became to suck it deeper into my mouth. There is video of me crawling on all fours desperately following a guy's dick trying to get it inside my mouth.
I don't know what drug it is, but apparently there is a cock sucker drug out there that will turn any straight man into a cock sucking whore and this knowledge scares the ever living shit out of me. I don't want to be a cock sucker but when I was on this drug I didn't want to be anything other than a cock sucker. I hate that I live with the knowledge of what it feels like to have a cock inside your mouth.
oh my god drop the porn addict shit dude A porn addict would have their dick in their hand on the constant. They would be unable to stop and they would be unable to focus unless they have their hand on their dick or a finger in their puss. Your painting me as someone who watches people fuck like a 4 year old watches cocomelon. And to that I say, I listen to porn not watch it. It's more stimulating. But thats besides the point, right now I wanna focus on the fact that your painting me like someone who wont shut up about it, can't not talk about it, wont talk about anything else other than sex. Which isn't true. Of course your kind of forcing my hand to talk about it, but fun fact! I do talk about other things. When it comes to people I actually, oh Idunno, care about, I do talk about other stuff and throw in a horny joke because its FUCKING FUNNY. I make jokes about current conversation and if I can turn it from T for Teens to M for Mature with one sentence and its tasteful? Hell yeah i'm gonna do it. You've obviously never talked to (woman) with her filter off, or her friends, or my friends, or really anyone at this school. Sex really isn't that taboo of a subject especially when TEACHERS ARE MAKING JOKES ABOUT IT TOO. Is it common? No not at all, but i've been at the forefront of these jokes before. Front and center, best seat in the stadium to (teacher) making a sex joke, or that one time on the VERY FIRST FUCKING DAY someone made a daddy kink joke to (teacher). Directly to him and the entire class, no hesitation. So yeah. it may be my fault, but it sure as hell aint only my fault. I'm surrounded in it and one consistent thing i've seen with ALL THE PEOPLE LIKE THIS, including myself... We all stop if someone speaks up about being uncomfortable.
So yeah, your gay.
* guitar riff *
Before you do anything, they have to check pretty much everything. You need a weight check, you need to get a lot of blood drawn, you need to get felt up by a nurse, the whole nine yards.
You have to sign a document labeling what to do with it in case you die before using it. One of the options was giving it to somebody for their own personal use. I have no fucking idea what that meant, but it scared me that anyone wouldn't just toss it once they died.
I had a doc tell me I have wildly high sperm production in density and amount. You ever have a medical practitioner tell you that you cum buckets of premium jizz? I have!
They had fucking charts on the walls with instructions and diagrams. Detailed descriptions, instructions what to do in case of a spillage, and literally seven signs telling people to wash their hands before and after.
They had an entire cupboard filled with bottles of lube. They restocked the room after every patient. There was a button you could use to call someone in case you RAN OUT OF LUBE!
The couch was the LEAST SKIN FRIENDLY MATERIAL ON THE PLANET. Idk what it was but it was terrible in every way.
There was a sink. There was not a paper towel dispenser.
It was not a soundproof room but they had a fucking world class sound system to watch porn on. IT WAS SURROND SOUND! FOR PORN!
There was 5 locks on the door.
There was a lamp. I have no fucking idea why or in what context the lamp would be used for. There were no magazines.
They had no instructions for the confusing as hell TV. 80% of the videos they had were gay porn.
When you're done, you had to take your sample out of the room to bring to the nurse. The hallway to the nurse was in full view of the waiting room. You would have to walk by at least one innocent citizen holding a cup of your jizz.
I was deeply uncomfortable for the entire process.
I could go on and on about this enigma of an experience.