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Forreal goddamn that’s an ass you put in tupperware

    Forreal goddamn that's an ass you put in tupperware cause you can't eat it all at once. That's an ass you put on layaway cause even if you could afford it all at once it'd be too much. That's an ass a waiter would make some smart ass comment about you being hungry if you finished the whole thing. That's an ass you need a bookmark for so you can come back where you left off. That's an ass that needs a checkpoint system so you can jump right back in if you die. It's the type of ass you set up camp halfway through and head up to the summit in the morning. There should be a tax on that ass and it should be in the highest bracket. If you won this ass in the lottery and chose to get it in yearly payments instead of a lump sum you'd still have enough ass from year to year to last you a lifetime. There are still parts of this ass that are unmapped. This ass could end the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. This ass could lead a successful working class revolution to seize the means of production, those means being this ass. This ass is orbiting the sun and dragging the Earth along with it. NASA should redirect Juno and the Hubble and bring Voyager back into this solar system to study this ass. There is probably a graveyard of fallen soldiers in this ass. People want to talk big but there's no way you're coming close to handling that.

    Oh my gosh, it’s a freaking Miata!

      Mazada Miata circle jerk copypasta
      Stopped by Starbucks this morning. Pulled up to drive-thru window and the barista asks, "OMG, are you driving a Miata?" I nod in response. She begins jumping with joy and says, "OMFG it's a freaking Miata! John, look! He's driving a Miata! You can make the headlights pop up right?!" I proceed to pop up the headlights to spur further joy. She exclaims, "Oh my gossshhhh, oh my gosh! I'm so sorry I'm freaking out! Here's your coffee have a great day!" 
      
      Hell yah, GenZ.

      The shitbox version

      Yesterday while in line at Starbucks, the barista asked me "OMFG, are those Miata foglights?" Now I drive an early '00s shitbox ford that had some parts bin compatability with some Mazdas, so I nod like the non-verbal 'tist that I am. She starts jumping for joy and says "OMG John it's a shitbox with miata parts compatibility! Can you turn the foglights on?" I said they haven't worked since 2008. She starts freaking out "oh my gosssssssh oh my gosh oh my gosh here's your venti soy iced latte with exactly four ice cubes."
      
      Hell ya, GenZ

      Id rather be a hard stuck silver with my proactive jungling

        Jungler copypasta
        Honestly, I could also reach challenger but I fucking hate to be a beta and play a reactive jungle. I like to go to enemy camp and punch them in their skull like a alpha chad.
        
        Id rather be a hard stuck silver with my proactive jungling rather than a reactive jungler.

        i am your ideal woman: 6’8, 250 lbs of pure muscle

          Ideal woman Tinder bio copypasta
          i am your ideal woman: 6'8, 250 lbs of pure muscle. ONLY eat beef, will bear a child sure to lead nations (will be roughly the size of a viking), cannot read and DO NOT want to learn. i own 19 dirt bikes and they all have flames on the side. inventor of what is commonly known as aggravated assault. looking for a VERY compact man to ride on my shoulders so i look cool.

          I’ve been looking at the G-spot of the female character Mona from the Genshin impact

            Mona copypasta from Genshin Impact
            I've been looking at the G-spot of the female character Mona from the Genshin impact game created in China by the multi-million dollar company hoyoverse.
            
            I started studying the structure in what took about 10 minutes by searching for rules png pulled from Google
            
            And seeing that Mona's dress is very tight to the body (this can be seen when seeing that the navel is visible to the naked eye) Mona has a G-spot that is 2cm high and a width of about 1.8cm
            
            Add that the average depth of a woman is 8cm plus the fact that she can stretch
            
            Basically, to please this lady you would need about 10 cm
            
            With 15 you can hurt her and with around 20 you can kill her.

            I’m just letting you guys know that we are a professional establishment

              I'm just letting you guys know that we are a professional establishment, we will serve you purposely to your point and if you're somebody that's out of that establishment where we cannot serve you, we will not serve you and we will go ahead and let you know that you will be served properly, and at some point of time that will be, you need a sober cab, we will need you a sober cab, and if not, we're gonna treat you accordingly, and I'm just letting you guys know that. You know that, you guys are great. I just want to let you guys know, personally, you guys are going to be served, and you will get your food.