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I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Neuvillette.

    Neuvillette
    I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Neuvillette. I try to play Ayato. My Neuvillette deals more damage. I try to play Childe. My Neuvillette deals more damage. I want to play Raiden, Nahida- Neuvillette needs them for hyperbloom.I want to play Furina, Neuvillette maximizes her buffs. He steals my Venti for the grouping, and Zhongli for the shields, 5 archons. I spend primogems and resin pulling and building 8 characters for the abyss, he goes solo anyways. He grabs me by the throat. I farm bilets for him. I forge for him. I give him the Prototype Amber. He isn't satisfied. I pull for the widsth. "Not enough crit DMG" He tells me. "I can deal more damage with Tome." I can't pull for Tome, I don't have enough primogems, i might even lose to Homa. "I need interuption resistance" He tells me. "Pull for c1" I don't need c1, i have Zhongli anyways. He ignores me. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Bow your head." He drops his balls. "Be sanctified" Monsieur Neuvillette says as he starts levitating. There is no hint of sadness in his eyes, he blasts all over my face. Nothing but pure, draconic, hydro application. What a cruel world.

    Original version was about Xiangling

    I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Monsieur Neuvillette. I try to play Diluc. My Monsieur Neuvillette deals more damage. I try to play Wanderer. My Monsieur Neuvillette deals more damage. I try to play Cyno. My Monsieur Neuvillette deals more damage. I want to play Furina. Her best team has Monsieur Neuvillette. He grabs me by the throat 😩. I killed countless innocent seals for him. I farm marachussy hunter set for him. I give him my Baizhu's R5 prototype amber. He isn't satisfied. I give him my Yae's Kagura's Verity. "I don't need this passive" He tells me. "Just give me interrupt resistance" He grabs Zhongli and forces him to erect his pillar and shield him. "You just need to pull my C1. I can deal more damage and not need Zhongli anymore" I can't pull for his C1, I don't have enough primogems. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." A bunch of Gardes and Gardemeks appeared. He says "Gardes, escort them to the Fortress of Meropide." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, unaldurated damage from his insane multipliers and aoes. What a cruel world.

    Actually sir, I’m not a so called ‘Stan of dream.’

      "Stan of dream"
      Source
      Actually sir, I'm not a so called 'Stan of dream.' I am merely very passionate about his content and want to dedicate my life to him in a way that seems needy - i must know where my pride and joy is at all times and you insulting me challenges my integrity and makes me so made that i'm going to sue you and also block you on all social media so that your filth and villainy does not spread further across the internet - i hope that you are happy with yourself - I'll see you in court. However, I have to say that Dream's youtube rival, Technoblade, is not a very nice person and seems to be quite mean towards Dream, also I have to say his behavior around hacking, in Minecraft, it does seem quite suspicious and i believe he is in fact "B-hopping" especially in Technoblade's and Dream's $100,000 duel. The Mere fact that my favourite youtuber lost a duel against technoblade immediately means that he must have cheated and there is no other explanation - your blaspheming of 'he is just the better player' is wrong and you should be burnt a the stake for implying that DREAM (God bless his name and all who use it) is NOT the best minecraft player ever - I'm utterly disgraced by what you have said to me in this conversation and my legal team will be in contact to deal with you soon.
      Actually 😳 sir 👨, I'm 💘 not a so called ☁ 'Stan 😍😎 of dream.' 😴 I 👁 am merely 🏫 very 👌 passionate 🔥 about 💦 his 💦 content 🌎 and want 😋 to dedicate ♂ my life 👤 to him 👴 in a way ↕ that seems 👀 needy 👉🏼 - i 👁 must 👫 know 🤔 where my pride 🏳️‍🌈 and joy 😂 is at all 💯 times 🕐 and you 👈👉 insulting 🤮 me challenges 😱 my integrity 😤 and makes 🛠 me so made 👑 that i'm 💘 going 🏃 to sue 🕴 you 👉 and also ➕ block 🚫 you 👈😵 on 🔛 all 😤 social 📖 media 📞✈⛵ so that your 👉 filth 👅 and villainy does not spread 👐 further 😵 across ➡😏 the internet 🌐 - i 👁 hope 🙏 that you 👈 are happy 😊 with yourself - I'll 📝 see 👀 you 👈 in court 💼. However 🖐, I 👁 have to say 💬👱🏿💦 that Dream's 😴💭 youtube 📹 rival 😈, Technoblade, is not a very 👌 nice 💦😇🙀 person 👨 and seems 🤔 to be quite ✅ mean 😏 towards 😂 Dream 😴💭, also 👨 I 👤👥 have to say 🗣💬 his 👋 behavior 🗯 around 🔃 hacking 😲, in Minecraft 🎮⛏, it does seem 🤔 quite 📺 suspicious 🤔 and i 👁 believe 🙏🏽 he 👥 is in fact 📕 "B-hopping" especially 🙌 in Technoblade's and Dream's 💭 $100,000 🗣👍😯 duel 🔫. The Mere 😐💀 fact 📕 that my favourite 😍 youtuber 🤔🤯 lost 🏳 a duel 🤺 against 🚫 technoblade immediately 😤 means 🤔❓🙄 that he 👨 must 👫 have cheated 🚫 and there is no ☝🚫 other explanation 📢 - your 👈📃 blaspheming of 'he 👨 is just the better 👍 player' 🎮🎯⚽ is wrong ⚠😔👎 and you 👉 should be burnt 🔥 a the stake 💀 for implying 😤 that DREAM 💭 (God 🙏👁 bless 🙏 his 💰💦 name 📛 and all 💯 who use 😏 it) is NOT the best 👌 minecraft 🎮⛏ player 🎮 ever 📆 - I'm 💘 utterly 🐄🚮 disgraced by what you 👈 have said 💬👱🏿💦 to me in this conversation 🗣 and my legal ⚖ team 🐒 will be in contact 📞 to deal 🙅 with you 👈 soon 🔜.

      Just remove Destiny 2

        Destiny 2 copypasta about glaives
        Just remove Destiny 2. The idea backfired on Bungie and they need to move on. We all know when we see someone playing Destiny 2 in our lobby we all cringe. Wanna get booted from a gaming community? Put Destiny 2 on. Wanna get kicked from a gaming subreddit? Put Destiny 2 on.

        Original was about glaives

        Just remove glaives. The idea backfired on Bungie and they need to move on. We all know when we see someone with a glaive on our lobby we all cringe. Wanna get booted from a raid? Put a glaive on. Wanna get kicked from an LFG for trials? Put a glaive on.

        Lengendary Shards version

        Just remove Legendary Shards. The idea backfired on Bungie and they need to move on. We all know when we see someone with Legendary Shards in our lobby we all cringe. Wanna get booted from a raid? Have Legendary Shards . Wanna get kicked from a Trials LFG? Have Legendary Shards.

        My Name Is Earl

          My name is Earl opening
          Source
          You know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things and then wonders why his life sucks? Well, that was me. Every time something good happened to me, something bad was always waiting around the corner: karma. That's when I realized that I had to change, so I made a list of everything bad I've ever done and one by one I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. I'm just trying to be a better person. My name is Earl.

          Messi ruined my sex life

            I was obsessed by FIFA 13 and had played Barcelona during seasons. I had faced someone and lost the game, although I had 100 shots on goal. The guy had only one. I got so mad.

The same night I had sex with a girl. While she was on top of me, I'm having pictures in my head of Messi missing an open goal, and I react by fucking her harder, in the hope of having those pictures disappear. I just can't let go of that game. The images return, and I literally whisper "fucking bitch, do your job" and spanks her.. I didn't whisper loudly but it was enough for her to hear it..

She stopped and got super mad. I tried to explain that it was Messis fault and that my 3-4-1-2 formation allows him a lot of creative freedom and that he always scores.. She understood nothing and was still mad. I had to go down on her for 30 minutes to make her happy. That's when I knew that it was a mistake to play FIFA before fucking.

Thanks a lot Messi.

            sex is overrated

              sex is overrated and anyone who does that shit regularly has a problem. i've been alive for 31 years, never had sex once, haven't even had a girlfriend. but im still alive living my life. stop acting like sex is the end all be all when mortal kombat is infinitely better.