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Shit was SO cash

    Its a old 4chan copypasta from 2007 originating from the /b/ board. The copypasta is an unhinge and somewhat ironic rant in which the OP berates everyone else while portraying himself as the alpha male.

    Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

    My roommate keeps creaming in his sleep

      My roommate keeps creaming in his sleep
      byu/Unique_Biscotti8003 inUNLV

      Started as a post on the University of Nevada subreddit, it became a meme due to the typo in the title that makes the whole thing so much funnier. Its part of a series of copypasta that started from university rant or post.

      This is driving me insane and I’m losing sleep. At least twice a week my roommate will randomly sit up at like 3 am in his sleep and scream his lungs out. I mean full on screaming as if his life is in danger. It lasts like 12 seconds and then he’s right back to sleeping. It wakes me up every single time and scares the shit out of me. I asked him this morning if he has night terrors and he acts like he has no idea what I’m talking about. This has been going on for a month and a half and if it goes on any longer I’m going to lose my mind.

      Sabaton is a Nazi Band.

        Sabaton copypasta

        Started as a Reddit joke, it starts of completely unhinge before revealing itself as troll in the 2nd half with ‘great Emu War’, fake moon landing and Sabaton role in releasing Covid. 

        Sabaton is a Nazi Band. Their lyrics contain crypto fascist hidden messenges to an extend where even Adolf Hitler himself looks like a communist in comparison. In fact, its entirely proven that members of Sabaton are responsible for several warcrimes during the great Emu War. They also faked the moon landing and released Covid.

        you are so fucking far removed from the original show that you’re below even a secondary. you’re below a fucking tertiary.

          you are so fucking far removed from the original show that you're below even a secondary. you're below a fucking tertiary. Lain doesnt even LOOK like this, let alone act like this, and who the flying FUCK is SHINJI??? do you mean from Evangelion, the OTHER show you havent seen???

          I own a Pulse Carbine for Home Defence

            Its the ‘Own a musket for home defense‘ copypyasta but changed to the Pulse Carbine from Warhammer 40k.

            Own a Pulse Carbine for home defense, since that's what Aun’va intended. Four Gue’la break into my reasonably sized state issued accomodation. "By the Tau’va!" As I grab my Fio’Tak Combat Armor and Pulse Carbine. Burn a man sized hole through the first gue’la, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because I don’t have ‘For The Greater Good’ activated, and nail one of the neighbours 250 kroot hounds. I have to resort to the Pulse Blast Cannon mounted at the top of the stairs, set to focused. "FOR TAU TO PROSPER, IT WILL BE SO" the small star shreds two Gue’la in the blast, the sound and extreme heat set off Devilfish alarms. I grab my close combat weapon and charge the last terrified rapscallion. I bleed out waiting on the medic drones to arrive since trangular lasrifle-bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as Aun'va intended

            Ambessa👤4,700 HP💪329 Armor🤷‍♂️201 MR💦

              Parody of the K’sante copypasta but changed to Ambessa.

              Ambessa👤4,700 HP💪329 Armor🤷‍♂️201 MR💦 Unstoppable🚫A Shield 🛡 Goes over walls🧱Has Airborne🌪Cooldown is only☝second too🕐 It costs 0 Mana🧙‍♂️
              Ambessa💁🏾‍♀️4,700 HP💪329 Armor🤷‍♂️201 MR💦 Suppression 🚫A Shield That Does Damage🛡 Infinite Dashes🧱It Costs No Energy🙏🏽Stun🌪Resource Refund 🕕 Unstoppable Ult👀 It Goes Over Walls 🏃Slows😩