Emu Otori
HALLO! IM EMU OTORI! EMU IS MEANING SMILE!
HALLO👋I'M🚀EMU🌟OTORI🎪EMU🚲IS🎨MEANING🌈SMILEE😄
WONDERHOY
WANDAHOI
WONDAHOY
HALLO! IM EMU OTORI! EMU IS MEANING SMILE!
HALLO👋I'M🚀EMU🌟OTORI🎪EMU🚲IS🎨MEANING🌈SMILEE😄
WONDERHOY
WANDAHOI
WONDAHOY
Tell me about it... I spent the better part of the 2010's as a butt pusher at the nursing home. Ya know, these old folks can't thrust like they used to and so they need a brawny young buck like myself to work those hips how they remember. I'd see a horny couple shuffling down the hall and think, "Oh jeez... No way they're down to fuck again." but you gotta give it up for these old timers. They're constantly boning. So, I'd get my long gloves on, help them to the fuck room, pop the lady in the handi-able sex swing, and then grab ahold of grandpa's leathery hips. He'd take care of the boner himself. I wasn't gonna coax that out of him. That's on him. If ever the old guy wasn't hard enough to plow beef then I'd just leave the room and tell him to call me when he's serious, call me when he can actually fuck. Haha, usually that little emasculation was enough for them to pop a spiteful boner. Whatever, right? When he's bonered and ready, and she's lubed however way is medically appropriate, then I was just there to make sure the shoving is hard, but not too hard. I wanted to make sure these lovebirds could shuffle back to their respective apartments after. I mean, c'mon. It took, what? 10? 15 minutes maybe? And with the adjustability of the sex swing, the variety made the time go by pretty quick. After he'd shot his wad and her barren utey was gooped up, they'd go into a kinda post-nut paralysis and it was part of my job to make sure they didn't hurt themselves during that. Yep, then it was just get her out of the swing, get their clothes back on, and shit, I don't know, go back to wandering the halls, waiting for another tap on the shoulder or something. Terrible job. I really, really hated it, but ya know, I still made sure to do my best. I was proud of how much lovemaking I facilitated and how sensually I was able to gyrate all those old man hips. So, even though I never had sex at the nursing home, I sure assisted in a lot of it.
So I've been dating this girl I met through a matchmater for the past 6 months. She asked me "what type of corn do you like? American or Desi?" So first things first, the word Desi itself made me convinced that she was talking about porn. Second, I asked her in return, "why a sudden question about this?" And she was like, "I just want to know your preference" I then asked her "what's your preference?" She said "American all the way, Desi is disgusting" All the words used by her made up my mind that she was definitely talking about porn. Thankfully I did not say my preference or stuff like that, but instead told her a story about how some guys in my college brought Desi porn and were showing it to others and "I was disgusted by it and it was the last time I watched Desi porn." Before I could move to American porn and spill the beans, she clarified that she was talking about corn and not porn. The next 30min were her laughing her ass out and teasing me about it. I am so embarrassed about it that I can't even talk properly to her now ;___; Fml
Life slapped me, I couldn't stand it
I slapped my dick, my dick still stands
Maybe my dick makes a better man than me
Someone stabbed me, I still stood
I stabbed my dick, my dick collapsed
Maybe I make a better dick than my dick
When encountering my crush
Even my dick toughens up
Yet I cower and say nothing
Holding my masturbation cup, I lie to my dick, saying that it's a warm vagina
Standing up, my dick lies to me, saying that it's a warm world
When I'm single, my dick rejoices, as it gets to be caressed
When I have a girfriend, my dick rejoices, because it gets to have a new warm home
Maybe I'm a part of my dick, and not the other way around.
生活打了我一巴掌,我没挺住
我给了牛至一巴掌,牛至依旧挺立
或许牛至更比我会适合做人
别人给了我一刀,我挺住了
我给了牛至一刀,牛至却倒下了
或许我比牛至更适合做牛至
我不明白是我身上长了-个牛至还是牛至身上长了个我
碰到喜欢的人
牛至都会硬一硬
而我却不敢吱声
我拿着杯子,骗牛至说这是个温暖的批牛至站起来,骗我说这是个温暖的世界
我没有女朋友,牛至很高兴,因为我可以时常抚摸它
我有了女朋友,牛至也很高兴,因为它可以.有个温暖的家
或许真的是牛牛身上长了我而不是我身上长了个牛牛
One time I was walking home when a very mean robber approached me. He pulled out a sharp knife and said "Give me all your money, punk! And your phone, too!" I began to comply as I didn't want any trouble, but as I handed him my phone, my thumb unlocked it and the robber was face to face with the handsome dimpled smile on my lockscreen. Seeing the glimmer of awe in his eyes, I said to the robber, "That's Mark Lee. He's in the musical groups NCT 127, NCT U, NCT Dream, NCT Jop, NCT Superpoopoopeepee, NCT Sperm, NCT ABC, NCT XYZ, NCT KFC, NCT KBS, and GOT7! Would you like to learn to jop with me, sir?" Speechless, the robber could do nothing but nod his head enthusiastically. Day and night, he and I practiced tirelessly, honing our choreography until we were perfectly in sync. Now you might think the story ends there, dear reader, but you'll surprised to hear that the robber and I popped up in the public eye again many months later – this time, when the two of us debuted together as 5-member girl group NewJeans!
Why did riot make the new prestige shaco a Twink?
You know why, imagine you're strolling through the jungle on graves, suddenly you step into a trap and hear a light melodic laugh, angry you look towards it and it's that sneaky little Twink! You chase after him your huge throbbing health bar barely even dented despite his ap centered build, realizing his tiny little (level) 6 can't stand up to your gigantic (lvl) 9 you catch him by the throat and blast him 3 no 4 times with your huge double barrelled "shotgun" filling his insides with potent hextech pellets, you both let out a groan as you fill him full with your gun's load and drop his limp body as you go to take his red buff