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HALF LIFE 3 IS COMING OUT I AM NOT CRAZY

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    byu/Commaser from discussion
    inHalfLife

    Its the Chicanery copypasta from Better Call Saul but changed to Half Life 3 (cope) based on a theory that Epistle Three was deleted for the upcoming HL3 announcement. Epistle Three is a snapshot of a possible outline for HL3 by the lead writer for HL2, Marc Laidlaw after his departure from Valve.

    I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 197. One after the word fret. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at spotify to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That Tweet! Are you telling me that a man just happens to post a video like that? No! He orchestrated it! Mike! He defecated through a Valve index! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own cope! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was making ASMR tweets, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of Half Life! But not our Mike! Couldn't be precious Mike! Coping them blind! And HE gets to announce HL3? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! …And you, you have to stop him! You-

    The post the pasta was responding to

    Half Life 3 might've been confirmed way before Mike's tweet and we never noticed
    byu/Commaser inHalfLife
    So, we all know Epistle 3 right? Marc LaidLaw's own take on what Episode 3 could've been

Posted in 2017, blows up, we all read it and go crazy

It's fine, then on sometime around 2022 he sudddenly has a change of heart and deletes it from his blog

Now why would he do that? It's been 5 years since he had published, anyone that could've read it has already read it and people had already uploaded archives of it because well its just a bunch of text not hard to simply ctrl c + ctrl + v

He then gives an interview and says he regretted publishing it because "It could create trouble for my friends at Valve" and "the real story development can only happen in the crucible of developing a game"

My ass I say, now hear me out on this one, what if he deleted it EXACTLY because Valve contacted him asking him to take it down because they WANT to make Half Life 3 and indeed having Epistle 3 up is a problem if they plan on releasing Half Life 3??? THINK ABOUT IT, Alyx came out in 2020, 2022 is a perfectly plausible date to begin production and now in 2025 it could've been 3 years in development already, perfect to announce it with a trailer like Mike's tweet

HALF LIFE 3 IS COMING OUT I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY

    I just saw a black guy listening to Not Like Us, Kendrick is truly what the culture is feeling

      Not Like Us copypasta
      source
      I (57, white male) was recently taking a stroll down my neighbourhood when I suspiciously saw a group of high school girls listening to Drake (🤮) of all people, so being an loyal fan of Kung Fu Kenny I decided to scream "OV-HOE!!!!" at them and run away, they got angry at me and started chasing me! fearing that they might make me listen to Toosie Slide, I ran as fast as I could.

While running from them I accidentally wandered into "the hood" that Kdot is always talking about. That is when my eyes truly opened to the genius that is Kendrick Lamar Duckworth, I saw a black gentlemen listening to Not Like Us, and tears fell down from my eyes as I finally realised the impact that Kendrick has made, he truly was what the culture was feeling.

I went up to the fellow Kendrick enthusiast and saluted him for being on the right side of history. He was for some reason very confused as to why a crying man was saluting him so I decided to show him that I am indeed "certified" by rapping Not Like Us to him "WOP WOP WOP DOT FUCK EM UP" I shouted "WOP WOP WOP IMMA DO MY STUFF" I continued, "WHY YOU TROLLING LIKE A BITCH AINT YOU TIRED" I took a breath, "TRYNA STRIKE A CHORD AND ITS PROBABLY A MINORRRRR" I exclaimed. Seeing my dedication towards the art of Kdot made the Kendrick fan realise I was one of "the good ones" and he invited me to the cookout! ✊🏻

      I will protect this smile

        Origin of the "I will protect this smile" copypasta

        From Gigguk’s Summer Anime 2016 video where he did a bit on protecting Tsumugi’s smile from Amaama to Inazuma which became a meme.

        This smile, I will protect this smile. I will FIGHT YOU for this smile, you will not hurt this smile. For you see, there are some things in life worth protecting, some things worth living for, some things worth dying for. A smile like this can thaw the iciest of hearts, dispel the darkest of evils and win the mightiest of wars. THIS SMILE WILL BE THE THING THAT PULLS US FROM THE DEPTHS OF DESPAIR, AND LEAD US TO THE PATH OF SALVATION. WARS WILL BE FOUGHT, PEOPLE WILL BE SAVED AND CIVILIZATIONS WILL PROSPER BECAUSE OF THIS SMILE. SO FROM THIS DAY FORWARD I SOLEMNLY SWEAR TO SHIELD THIS SMILE FROM ALL HARM THAT MAY COME TO IT, ALL DANGERS IT MAY POSSIBLY FACE AND GIVE MY LIFE FOR IT!

        STOP POSTING ABOUT MIKU COMING TO FORTNITE!

          Hatsune Miku in Fortnite copypasta

          Its the “STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US” meme but changed to Hatsune Miku in Fortnite.

          I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME MIKU COMING TO FORNITE, ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING MIKU MIKU BEAM! I was in a server, right? and ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just Miku Fornite stuff. I-I showed my champion underwear to my girlfriend and t-the logo I flipped it and I said "hey babe, when the underwear Miku HAHA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DI DI DING" I fucking looked at a trashcan and said "THAT'S HIDING IN MY WIFI" I looked at my penis I'm thinking Miku Miku oo ee oo and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PEKU" AA- (bro It's everywhere dude I swear)

          Oh my god, guys… I want to fuck Citlali from Genshin impact.

            Citlali copypasta
            Oh my god, guys... I want to fuck Citlali from Genshin impact. I want to impregnate her. I don't care that she's so old that she can't have kids anymore. I will not stop breeding her until her body starts producing eggs again. I want to keep breeding her loose hag pussy until I pass out. I want to fondle her breasts and hear her say "Please stop touching my Citlalin and Itzpapa. I will NOT stop. I want her to stay addicted to alcohol. I want her to come back to our house, drunk and dirty, reeking of piss and alcohol. I will not be able to constrain myself. I want to enter her bedroom after she's been doing nothing but gooning, drinking booze and reading smut for a few weeks without taking a shower. Guys. I can't take it anymore. I NEED to impregnate Citlali.

            Hello, I noticed you have a profile picture of a very beautiful (but also intelligent looking!) female

              Started as a Discord shitpost but the copypasta has been adopted into a Valorant simp message.

              Hello, I noticed you have a profile picture of a very beautiful (but also intelligent looking!) female, and 1 am under the presumption that this goddess is you? It is quite astonishing to see a female here in the Valorant LFG. I am quite popular around here in this server, so if you require and guidance, please, throw me a mention. I will assist you at any hour, day or night. And, before you are mistaken, I do not seek your hand in a romantic way; although, I am not opposed in the event you are interested in me, as many women often are. I am a man of standard, and I do not bow to just any female that comes my way, unlike my peers... So rest assured that I will not be in the way of your gaming and socializing experience. Consider me ur jett? .. a companion, a partner, and perhaps we can enjoy some video games together some time. I see you play valorant, and are you good at playing sage? I am a peak gold 3, so I would be happy to help you rank up. Platonically of course, unless you (like many others) change your mind on that. I look forward to our future together (as friends of course.)

              Reddit version

              Hello, I noticed you have a profile picture of a very beautiful (but also intelligent looking!) female, and I am under the presumption that this goddess is you? It is always refreshing to see a female here on the Reddit.com web page (especially after Reddit.com dropped support for the Netscape Navigator browser). However, I am quite popular around here in this community, so if you require guidance, please throw me a PM (private message). I will assist you at any hour, day or night. And, before you are mistaken, I do not seek your hand in a romantic way; although I am not opposed in the event you are interested in me, as many women often are. I am a man of standard, and I do not bow to just any female that comes my way, unlike my peers... So rest assured that I will not be in the way of your socializing experience. Consider me a Player 2.. a companion, a partner, and perhaps we can enjoy some Adobe Flash or Shockwave games together some time. I see you are interested in copypastas, well I happen to be a copypasta aficionado (!!), so I would be happy to assist you in finding the appropriate copypasta for your situation (or even crafting a new copypasta that fits your needs). I think we have potential for a fun and dynamic relationship here! Platonically of course, unless you (like many others) change your mind on that. I look forward to our future together (as friends of course.)