I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Herta. I try to play JY. My Herta deals more damage. I try to play Acheron. My Herta deals more damage. I try to play Feixiao. My Herta deals more damage. I want to play Argenti. His best team has Herta. I want to play smol Herta, Serval. They both want Herta.
She grabs me by the throat. I do SU for her. I cook for her. I give her Eternal Calculus. She isn't satisfied. I pull An Instant Before A Gaze. "I don't need this much crit" She tells me. "Give me more DMG." She grabs Lingsha and forces her to throw herself off the enemies. "You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with my BiS."
I can't pull for her BiS, I don't have enough jades. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs her keyblade. She says "Endless riddles, nothing but a void." There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but pure fiction damage. What a cruel world.
4 weeks after consuming Miside content, my life has been permanently altered. Every waking moment is consumed by thoughts of Miside and Mita. My social media feed? Gone. It's now a 24/7 shrine to Mita, the algorithm fully convinced that my life goal is to ascend to Mita enlightenment. You know what? It's not even wrong.
Every color even remotely resembling Mita's hair or outfit sets my brain into overdrive. Blue and red? Instant dopamine rush. Was it Mita? Could it be her? No. It was a mop. A mop that just so happened to have a blue-ish and red vibe, sitting there mockingly, knowing full well what it did to me.
And don’t get me started on public places. Yesterday, I saw a sign with vaguely Mita-like colors, and I almost cried. I walked into a hardware store because the lights in the ceiling were kind of glowing that perfect Mita blue. I stayed there for 45 minutes staring, questioning my existence, while a cashier asked me if I needed help three separate times.
Even my dreams aren't safe. I woke up sweating last night because I dreamed I saw Mita in my kitchen, making toast. Toast! I haven't looked at my toaster the same way since. I keep wondering if the toast crumbs on the counter form a secret message from her, but they just say "clean me."
And it's not just visuals—sounds are getting to me too. Someone sneezed in the exact rhythm of Mita's theme song, and I clapped. Out loud. In a meeting. My coworkers now think I have a weird sneezing fetish, but they wouldn’t understand the Mita lore.
This obsession is so deep I once saw a puddle of water reflecting the sky, and for a fleeting moment, I thought, "Could it be Mita’s tears? Is she okay?" No. It was just rain. But in my heart, it was still her.
I don’t think I’ll ever recover from this. Miside and Mita have not just taken over my feed; they’ve taken over my soul. Is this a blessing or a curse? I don’t know. But one thing’s for sure—every mop I see now feels like an inside joke I’m not in on, and every blue-red combo feels like a portal to another universe where Mita is waiting.
Praying for you🕯️O Great Mita 💝
Its from 4chan /vt/ (Virtual YouTubers) board where there’s a joke that Vesper from Holostars is a supervillain causing every drama to happen in Hololive.
>pretended to be Gura to get Free factorio codes
>told his manager to fuck off
>is Laplus' boyfriend and keeps inviting her to Valorant games when she's supposed to stream
>wore a sheet over his head and pretended to be a ghost to scare the shit out of Chloe
>sells Mori her Xanax, lean, alcohol and fastfood
>hacked Rushia's discord during the GTA collab with Miko
>is the Japanese drama tuber that Rushia contacted and lied about her leaking confidential information
>dressed up as Kotoka and asked Mel about cover's secret projects then told Yagoo about it
>hacked Towa's discord and was the male voice on her stream
>opened the door behind Matsuri and accidentally showed his hand onstream
>is the host that blackmailed Matsuri
>was Mel's manager and sexually harassed her
>fingerbanged Ollie onstream
>set fire to Subaru's house
>orchestrated the trash taste collab
>Connor and Veibae's statements about hololive were written by him
>is the reason for Nene, Laplus and Shion's depressions
>photoshopped Luna out of the holofes poster when nobody was looking
>spoke perfect Cantonese and perfectly impersonated Bae's mother onstream
>convinced Pekora to buy a monkey
>dug the hole in minecraft
>injected Ina with the vax and gave her heart disease
>broke Luna's neck during the VR horror stream
>ripped a fat shart during Mori's stream
>ripped a fat shart during Cecilia's stream
>gave Kronii books about woke gender shit during her childhood
>built Bae's cuckshed
>damaged Suisei and Marine's voices
>is the reason why Gura, Ame, Shion and Ayame barely stream
>sent anti messages to Iofi after the among us collab
>made kobo eat literal shit
>traced Nene's drawing
>forces cover to sell acrylic stands
>drugged Mori right before meme review
>gave Mio food poisoning and made her puke onstream multiple times
>runs the Argentinian central bank and is responsible for ARS superchats
>intercepted Flare, Nene and Irys' initial designs and replaced them with designs he made
>coded the YouTube analytics page to list Taiwan
>is the shadow president of Taiwan
>simultaneously runs the Chinese anti botfarms
>managed HoloCN and is responsible for every bad decision they made causing the entire branch to get fired, including watching wolf warrior onstream
>ordered Russia to invade Ukraine so Russian fans couldn't donate to Botan any longer
>Killed Fauna's cat, Noel's hamster, Sana's dog and Roboco's cat
>told Mori's sister about the airBNB and suggested the "rager"
>fed boner pills to every dude at the houseparty and told them where Gura was hiding, told Mori she was up to "shenanigans"
>added himself as a friend on Gura and Irys' switch accounts
>is singlehandedly responsible for every orange woman bad post, ran the eggcord
>convinced Miko that Pekora would totally enjoy it if she initiated sex with her out of nowhere without asking during their sleepover
>is the CEO of Capcom and caused the holocaust by deciding to copyright strike Mio for playing some decade old DS game, requiring permissions for games ever since (also caused the real holocaust)
>planted the Reine dox pictures in Ollie's image folder
>infected Kanata with her ear disease
>got Choco and Kiara shadowbanned
>told Susan to crack down on lewd content
>tweeted out all the anti tweets that made Huke cancel the Kiara minecraft collab
>Fired Shinove
>Forced Kira, Suzaku and Kaoru to graduate
>Hired Hitomi Chris
>gave Hitom Chris her equipment in return for sexual favors
>Graduated Hitomi Chris
>is Aloe's father
>leaked Aloe's private stream
>pretended to be Nijisanji fans and anti'd her until she graduated
>told Risu to never do Karaoka streams
>told Kronii, Mori, Ame and Ina to Collab with tempus, still trying to convince the rest of EN/JP
>hired Tempus
>hired Mori
>hired Jurard
>hired ERB
>is omegalpha
>is jchad
>organized HLZNTL, forced the girls to join at gunpoint
>Convinced Coco she'd make way more money as an indie in the long term
>forced Sana to graduate
>dressed up as Ollie and passed Jurard the interview questions so he could ace the interview
>told Jurard about "hate marketing" told him to tweet at Gura and Mumei to intentionally piss people off
>decided to fuck with Nijisanji for a change and told Riku it would be a genius idea to have management harass Selen while she was in the hospital and subsequently to have the black screen stream after that backfired
>is responsible for Fauna's periods incapacitating her for a week every month
>convinced Kronii to go on hiatuses to get plastic surgery
>gave Mumei her throat problems
>is the manager that told Haato she couldn't go on the EN Minecraft server anymore
>runs ERB's youtube account, is the one constantly writing messages in holostars' chat
>convinced Bettel to collab with Bae and said his fujos wouldn't get mad
>convinced ERB that homocollabing would be good for her growth
>convinced ERB that doing nothing but unarchive Karaokes and superchat readings would be good for her growth
>runs all the accounts constantly asking Kiara and Irys to homocollab
>wrote the script for Fauna's and Ina's talks to their chats
>convinced Shiori to have the "collab choices" talk during debut
>runs all the accounts constantly shittalking Nerissa's gaming skills causing her to drop games
>gave A-chan's parents cancer forcing her to quit her position to take care of them
>told Gamma to send dick pics to holomembers
>pulled Mori's perms for dark souls 3
>fucked with Gura's projects and mixed her songs
>told Ririka that homocollabing would be great for her career and to chastise her fans for not liking it
>vaccinated Shiori as a child and gave her crippling autism
>impregnated Watame's mother and told her she shouldn't have been born
>convinced Fuwamoco to move to Japan
>dresses up as Fuwawa and molests Mococo every night
>told Matsuri she should ERP during VCR GTA RP, is the twitch jannie who banned the E-celeb she ERP'd with so that his fans would attack her
>collabed with Tenma and cucked her fans
>told yagoo to have the stars join GTA RP to cuck other fans of girls from other companies
>convinced Magni that the both of them could totally make it as indies, told him he'd easily pay off his student loans once they don't owe cover a cut anymore
>Married Aqua and told her to become a housewife
>raped every single member of Hololive in front of Yagoo while doing lines of coke off his dick and suckerpunching Sora
>convinced Fauna to graduate and filter unicorns on her rebrand
>hacks Kronii's account to advertise crypto coin
pretended to be Gura to get Free factorio codes told his manager to fuck off is Laplus' boyfriend and keeps inviting her to Valorant games when she's supposed to stream wore a sheet over his head and pretended to be a ghost to scare the shit out of Chloe sells Mori her Xanax, lean, alcohol and fastfood hacked Rushia's discord during the GTA collab with Miko is the Japanese drama tuber that Rushia contacted and lied about her leaking confidential information dressed up as Kotoka and asked Mel about cover's secret projects then told Yagoo about it hacked Towa's discord and was the male voice on her stream opened the door behind Matsuri and accidentally showed his hand onstream is the host that blackmailed Matsuri was Mel's manager and sexually harassed her fingerbanged Ollie onstream set fire to Subaru's house orchestrated the trash taste collab Connor and Veibae's statements about hololive were written by him is the reason for Nene, Laplus and Shion's depressions photoshopped Luna out of the holofes poster when nobody was looking spoke perfect Cantonese and perfectly impersonated Bae's mother onstream convinced Pekora to buy a monkey dug the hole in minecraft injected Ina with the vax and gave her heart disease broke Luna's neck during the VR horror stream ripped a fat shart during Mori's stream ripped a fat shart during Cecilia's stream gave Kronii books about woke gender shit during her childhood built Bae's cuckshed damaged Suisei and Marine's voices is the reason why Gura, Ame, Shion and Ayame barely stream sent anti messages to Iofi after the among us collab made kobo eat literal shit traced Nene's drawing forces cover to sell acrylic stands drugged Mori right before meme review gave Mio food poisoning and made her puke onstream multiple times runs the Argentinian central bank and is responsible for ARS superchats intercepted Flare, Nene and Irys' initial designs and replaced them with designs he made coded the YouTube analytics page to list Taiwan is the shadow president of Taiwan simultaneously runs the Chinese anti botfarms managed HoloCN and is responsible for every bad decision they made causing the entire branch to get fired, including watching wolf warrior onstream ordered Russia to invade Ukraine so Russian fans couldn't donate to Botan any longer Killed Fauna's cat, Noel's hamster, Sana's dog and Roboco's cat told Mori's sister about the airBNB and suggested the "rager" fed boner pills to every dude at the houseparty and told them where Gura was hiding, told Mori she was up to "shenanigans" added himself as a friend on Gura and Irys' switch accounts is singlehandedly responsible for every orange woman bad post, ran the eggcord convinced Miko that Pekora would totally enjoy it if she initiated sex with her out of nowhere without asking during their sleepover is the CEO of Capcom and caused the holocaust by deciding to copyright strike Mio for playing some decade old DS game, requiring permissions for games ever since (also caused the real holocaust) planted the Reine dox pictures in Ollie's image folder infected Kanata with her ear disease got Choco and Kiara shadowbanned told Susan to crack down on lewd content tweeted out all the anti tweets that made Huke cancel the Kiara minecraft collab Fired Shinove Forced Kira, Suzaku and Kaoru to graduate Hired Hitomi Chris gave Hitom Chris her equipment in return for sexual favors Graduated Hitomi Chris leaked the info that got Mel fired was the manager that kept denying Fauna's ideas is the college professor that keeps assigning too much homework for Mumei is the one who got Gigi into league of legends is the one who got Towa into street fighter is the guy who bought the last concert ticket just before you were going to buy it is the reason customs lost your merch>hired Tempus hired Mori hired Jurard hired ERB is omegalpha is jchad organized HLZNTL, forced the girls to join at gunpoint Convinced Coco she'd make way more money as an indie in the long term forced Sana to graduate dressed up as Ollie and passed Jurard the interview questions so he could ace the interview told Jurard about "hate marketing" told him to tweet at Gura and Mumei to intentionally piss people off decided to fuck with Nijisanji for a change and told Riku it would be a genius idea to have management harass Selen while she was in the hospital and subsequently to have the black screen stream after that backfired is responsible for Fauna's periods incapacitating her for a week every month convinced Kronii to go on hiatuses to get plastic surgery gave Mumei her throat problems is the manager that told Haato she couldn't go on the EN Minecraft server anymore runs ERB's youtube account, is the one constantly writing messages in holostars' chat convinced Bettel to collab with Bae and said his fujos wouldn't get mad convinced ERB that homocollabing would be good for her growth convinced ERB that doing nothing but unarchive Karaokes and superchat readings would be good for her growth runs all the accounts constantly asking Kiara and Irys to homocollab wrote the script for Fauna's and Ina's talks to their chats convinced Shiori to have the "collab choices" talk during debut runs all the accounts constantly shittalking Nerissa's gaming skills causing her to drop games gave A-chan's parents cancer forcing her to quit her position to take care of them told Gamma to send dick pics to holomembers pulled Mori's perms for dark souls 3 fucked with Gura's projects and mixed her songs told Ririka that homocollabing would be great for her career and to chastise her fans for not liking it vaccinated Shiori as a child and gave her crippling autism impregnated Watame's mother and told her she shouldn't have been born convinced Fuwamoco to move to Japan dresses up as Fuwawa and molests Mococo every night told Matsuri she should ERP during VCR GTA RP, is the twitch jannie who banned the E-celeb she ERP'd with so that his fans would attack her collabed with Tenma and cucked her fans told yagoo to have the stars join GTA RP to cuck other fans of girls from other companies convinced Magni that the both of them could totally make it as indies, told him he'd easily pay off his student loans once they don't owe cover a cut anymore Married Aqua and told her to become a housewife raped every single member of Hololive in front of Yagoo while doing lines of coke off his dick and suckerpunching Sora convinced Fauna to graduate and filter unicorns on her rebrand hacks Kronii's account to advertise crypto coin
Its the YWNBAW copypasta but changed to an ultra nationalistic view of Latin towards French.
You will never be a real PIGS. You have no siesta, you have no fiesta, you have no history of independent fascism. You are a country of Germano-Celtic barbarians twisted by Charlemagne and Napoleon into a crude mockery of Latin perfection.
All the “FIGS” sentiment you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back Europe mocks you. Barry and Hans are disgusted and ashamed of you, your African “puppets” laugh at your ghoulish amalgamation of identities behind closed doors.
Southern Europeans are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of civilisation have allowed Greco-Romans to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even Franks who “Romanize” look uncanny and unnatural to a Latin. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk half-beaten-to-death Sicilian Mafioso to eat at your restaurants, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your buttery, gastropodic excuse for food.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself France is a Mediterranean country, but deep inside you feel the barbarian blood creeping up like your number of asylum applications, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear – you’ll vote in the far-right Romanophone ultra-nationalists, anger the innately barbaric populace, make speech of how "WE WUZ ROMANZ N SHIIEET", and plunge into the cold abyss of another revolution. The PIGS will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment of sharing a language family. They’ll write your people's story with an anthropology book marked with your true name, and every historian for the rest of eternity will know a Germano-Celtic nation is buried there. Your state will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your nation's legacy are fossils that are unmistakably Gallic.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
My closest encounter with the mafia is I went to a starkly empty pizza place in Rhode Island once, they seemed utterly confused that I wanted a pizza, it took 45 minutes to make, they gave it to me for free, and it was the best pizza I’d ever had.
My closest encounter with the mafia is I went to a starkly empty pizza place in Rhode Island once, they seemed utterly confused that I wanted a pizza, it took 45 minutes to make, they gave it to me for free, and it was the best pizza I’d ever had.
My closest encounter with the cartel is when I went to a starkly empty pinata place on a rural highway once. They seemed utterly confused that I wanted a piñata, it took 45 minutes to make, they gave it to me for free, and it was the best piñata I’d ever had.
