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I would literally never stop trying to impregnate you. Every day I would wake you up by cumming in you and every night I would cum in you right before going to sleep, which I would do with my dick stuck inside you. I would take some viagra before bed just to maintain my erection so that you'll be ready in the morning when I thrust into you like an animal and slather you in kisses. Part of our wedding vows would be to have as many children as physically possible. I wouldn't even care if you are already pregnant, I'll fuck you while you're pregnant and you'll get double pregnant. I'll fill you with so much cum every day that you'll look pregnant even when you aren't (which you'll never be after we're married) I would do everything in my power to make you as fertile as possible. I'd give you fertility drugs, I'd give you uterus massages, breast massages, I wouldn't let you go 5 hours without at least one spastic orgasm. I'll even bake you home made lactation inducing biscuits to help you get to a point of hyperlactation syndrome so that you'll be seeping out multiple quarts of milk per day. Which I will save and drink just so that I can tell you how delicious it is. I'll make you so fertile that triplets will be the minimum number you'll be carrying at any given time. I would literally never stop doting on you, I would respond to you every beck and call and I would cum inside you again each time you ask for something. You would be so pregnant all the time that you would literally not be able to stand up straight. Your spine would be permanently bent out of shape to accommodate a pregnant belly. Even after you can't get pregnant anymore I would just keep putting more eggs into you. I would clone you purely so that I can put fresh eggs from the clone inside you after you run out of them. You would have so much progesterone running through your veins at any given time that even the thought of not being pregnant would seem alien to you.
I would literally never stop trying to impregnate Seia
I would literally never stop trying to impregnate Seia. Every day I would wake her up by coming in her and every night I would cum in her right before going to sleep, which I would do with my dick stuck inside her. I would take some viagra before bed just to maintain my erection so that she'll be ready in the morning when I thrust into her like an animal and slather her in kisses. Part of our wedding vows would be to have as many children as physically possible. I wouldn't even care if she's already pregnant, I'll fuck her while she's pregnant and she'll get double pregnant. I'll fill her with so much cum every day that she'll look pregnant even when she isn't (which she'll never be after we're married) I would do everything in my power to make Seia as fertile as possible. I'd give her fertility drugs, I'd give her uterus massages, breast massages, I wouldn't let her go an hour without at least one spastic orgasm. I'll even bake her home made lactation inducing biscuits so that she'll be seeping out multiple quarts of milk per day. Which I will save and drink just so that I can tell her how delicious it is. I'll make her so fertile that triplets will be the minimum number she's carrying at any given time. I would literally never stop doting on her, I would respond to her every beck and call and I would cum inside her again each time she asks for something. She would be so pregnant all the time that she would literally not be able to stand up straight anymore even after menopause. Her spine would be permanently bent out of shape to accommodate a pregnant belly. Even after she can't get pregnant anymore I would just keep putting eggs into her. I would clone her purely so that I can put fresh eggs from the clone inside her after she runs out of them. She would have so much progesterone running through her veins at any given time that even the thought of not being pregnant would seem alien to her.
I would literally never stop trying to impregnate Peni.
I would literally never stop trying to impregnate Peni. Every day I would wake up by cumming in her and every night I would cum in her right before going to sleep, which I would do with my dick stuck inside her tight pussy. I would take some viagra before bed just to maintain my erection so that she'll be ready in the morning when I thrust into her like an animal and slather her in kisses. Part of our wedding vows is to have as many children as physically possible. I wouldn't even care if she's already pregnant, I'll fuck her while she's pregnant and she will get double pregnant. I'll fill her with so much cum everyday that she will look pregnant even when she isn't, which she'll never be after we're married.
I would do everything in my power to make Peni look as fertile as possible: I'd give her fertility drugs, I'd ger her uterus massages, breast massages, I wouldn't let her go twelve hours without at least one spastic orgasm. I'll even bake her homemade lactation-inducing biscuits to help her get a point of hyper lactation syndrome so that she'll be seeping out multiple quarts of sweet cream per day, which I will save and drink just so I can tell her how delicious it is. I'll make her so fertile that triplets will be the minimum number she's carrying at any time. Her natural belly shape will be a fucking sphere. I would literally never stop doting on her. I would respond to her every beck and call and I would cum inside her again each time she asks for something.
She would be so pregnant all the time she would literally not be able to stand up straight anymore even after menopause. Her spine would be permanently bent out of shape to accommodate her pregnant belly. Even after when she can't get pregnant anymore I would just keep putting more eggs into her. I would clone her purely so I can put fresh eggs from the clone inside her after she runs out of them. If she doesn't have any eggs I would synthesize them from her DNA. She would have so much progesterone running through her veins at any time that even the thought of not being pregnant would seem alien to her.
Imagine marrying Peni and she tells you she wants a kid and that she'll be fine and she'll keep her superhero duties up while pregnant. When she finally gets two lines on her pregnancy test she'll jump and full-body hug you, crying about how happy she is after trying so hard. Everything is going great for a few months, Peni is glowing and her hero activities are working out and her belly is quite small on her toned body. Now imagine in a few months Peni has to stop her hero activities because her feet hurt and her legs aren't used to holding up her new weight. Her belly extends almost a full foot in front of her and she's gained nearly 15 kilos. Imagine the look on Peni's face when her doctor tells her she would have to take a break on her spidergirl activities for a while because she is carrying triplets and the excessive movement is doing more harm than good. Imagine Peni reluctantly smiling at you and promising to stop doing her vigilantism for the sake of preparing to take care of three kids at once. Imagine as the weeks go by and her womb fills up more and as her appetite and weight increase with it. Imagine finding your 7-month-old-pregnant wife Peni raiding the fridge in the dark at 4:00 AM with a guilty look in her face when you find her, like a puppy that gnawed holes into your pillow.
The copypasta started from the Dota2 subreddit where a user made a post complaining about Outworld Destroyer with Aghanim’s Scepter being broken because of how strong it is.
Other people then started using the copypasta template for different heroes and characters for other games.
I absolutely despise wd shard
I cant believe this shard is still in the game. Its contrary to everything dota is about.
Wd is a hero you have to focus/burst. No different than a hoodwink/es. He has a spell that completely disrupts most fights. He has ramping damage as well. You cant burst/gank his teammates if hes there because of ward so you have to kill him first . If not, he ults then melts everyone.
Guess what, lets give him a 40 second cooldown phase shift echo slam as a shard. Even better, its invulnerable to cc with no cast time so theres 0 skill required to use it. Last but not least, make it a pure damage so its not countered by nothing, not shiva, not pipe, not even guardian angel.
So now, he just buys that braindead item and cannot be bursted by absolutely anything except a 1v5 scenario. Go on his team? Die to ward. He doesnt even need support items. Great game design icefrog, next time give something similar to other supports so its consistent. Lion maybe? What about vengeful spirit? Im sure supports getting a unkillable skill is balanced.
Oh right, its countered by cc! Tell me 1 hero that has a good cc that can also dmg wd so he doesnt shard himself. Maybe ill go orchid pudge just to counter this hero
I absolutely despise od aghs
I cant believe this aghs is still in the game. Its contrary to everything dota is about.
Od is a hero you have to focus/burst. No different than a tinker/meepo. He has a save that completely disrupts most ultimates like duel. He has ramping damage as well. You cant burst/gank his teammates if hes there because of astral so you have to kill him first . If not, he saves his teammate then melts everyone.
Guess what, lets give him a 90 second cooldown aegis abaddon ult as an aghs. Even better, its completely passive with no activation feature so theres 0 skill required to use it. Last but not least, make it a barrier so its absolutely countered by nothing, not shiva, not vessel, not even doom/aa.
So now, he just buys that braindead item and cannot be bursted by absolutely anything except a 1v5 scenario. Go on his team? Save with astral. He doesnt even need aegis. Great game design icefrog, next time give something similar to other glass cannons so its consistent. Sniper maybe? What about arc warden? Im sure glass cannons getting a unkillable passive is balanced.
Oh right, its countered by break! Tell me 1 hero that has a break that can also stun/silence od so he doesnt astral himself. Maybe ill go orchid viper just to counter this hero.
Also this mf can blink out after 3 seconds if u dont break his barrier by then. Even while doomed. Nice balance guys
Jujutsu meme that goes something something You are my specialz something something every time the MC goes through a traumatic event.
U R MY SPECIALZ 😭
"You are my special" 今際の際際で踊りましょう 東京前線興の都 往生際の際際で足掻きましょう お行儀の悪い面も見せてよ "I love you baby" 謳い続けましょう 如何痴れ者も如何余所者も 心燃える一挙手一投足 走り出したらアンコントロール "You are my special" 無茶苦茶にしてくれないかい? 一切を存分に喰らい尽くして 一生迷宮廻遊ランデブー 眩暈がする程 "you are my special" 有耶無耶な儘廻る世界 No! No! No! そう冷静にはならないで 一生迷宮廻遊ランデブー 誰が如何言おうと "you are my special" "We are special" "You are my special" 土俵際の際際で堪えましょう 東京沿線大荒れ模様 報道機関氣裸氣裸血走ります 冷静と俯瞰は御法度です
Tell you kids, back in my day, we had it so rough... or so much better, i can't tell anymore. anyway, every day, we would wake up at 2 in the morning and go to the table for breakfast. we all lived in a closet, you see, so it was one room. and we would ask, me and my 64 brothers and 27 sisters, "what's for breakfast mum?". she would smack us all with a shoe and say "cold beans". and if we complained and said "but we had cold beans yesterday" - because we had cold beans every day - she would smack us all five times with a shoe and say "tough its all we can afford. i'm trying to feed a family of 93 with just half a silver buckington", a silver buckington was about the same as half a penny back in the day. then we would head to school. we met up with the johnson kids from down the road, and walked the 1674 miles to school. on the way to school, we had to walk up a mountain so tall it extended to outer space. when we got to the top of the mountain, we would see the peterson boys on their fancy bikes - which they dont make like they used to, and we would race them down the mountain. then, when we got to school at 4 in the morning, the headmaster would come up to us and say "you bloody kids are late", then he would smack us all with the cane 10 times and tell us we had 7 years of detention. then, we went to class, and mr stevenson would say "ok line up kids", then he would spank us each 60 times, then hit us each with the cane 40 times each. then it was 7 at night and we had to walk home. then, when we got home, we'd ask "whats for dinner mum?", and she'd smack us each 50 times with a pan and say "rotten cabage". and if we complained, she would smack us each 100 times with a broom and say "im trying to feed a family of 154 on just one islet sliver, just you wait until your dad gets home" - now an islet silver was worth about as much as a grain of sand. then, when our dad got home from his job at the soot factory, he would hit us all 180 times with his belt. if we had been naughty, we would hit us all another 600 times. then, at 1:58, mum would say "ok time for bed". then, we got into our potato sacks, and she would hit us each with a shoe 8 times before we went to sleep. on saturdays, we went down to uncle bob's farm to work. we would have to walk 345 miles to the bus stop, then catch the route 4 bus for 56 stops. we would get on the bus and pay our fare of 3 teddy roses - now a teddy rose is worth about the same as a flake of skin. then, if the ticket inspector came to us, he would hit us all 4 times with his baton. if any of us had lost our ticket, we would hit us all 10 times again and throw us off the bus and we had to walk the rest of the way. when we got to the farm, uncle bob would drive to the gate in his tractor, hit us all 780 times with his crowbar, and tell us to get in his trailer so he could drive us to the farm house. then, we had to plow the fields with a toothbrush in the blazing summer heat - now, they dont make summers like they used to, so it was about 1345.4 degrees spencer, or 67 degrees centigrade using your new-fangled metric system. then, we would have to milk the cows - now, they dont make cows like they used to, so each cow weighed about 459 hog's heads, or 3.2 tonnes in your new-fangled metric system. if you touched a cows udder, it would kick you and you would die, so you had to be really careful when you milked the cows. then, when we were done, uncle bob would say "ok kids time for your pocket money". he would give us each 9 copper jemimahs - which are worth about one political promise each - and beat us each 6 times with his tractor before we left. on sundays, we would meet the johnson boys and go down to the river - now, they don't make rivers like they used to, so this river was about as wide as the whole of america, and as deep as the marianas trench, and it was filled with liquid tungsten. we would play by the old oak tree near the river, climbing on it and building tree houses and such. now - they don't make trees like they used to, so this tree had a trunk as thick as a city, and was tall enough that the branches on the top could scrape the moon. one day, little jimmy fell from the top of the tree. when he hit the ground, the only bit of his body we could recognise was his left eyeball. we picked up all his bits and rushed him to the doctors surgery. dr james said "oh its just a scratch little jimmy dont worry pop a plaster on it and you'll be right" and he gave little jimmy a plaster and a lollipop and he was ok. after we finished playing by the river, we would go into town and get some candy. now, back in the day, you could give the shopkeeper one bronze winglet - which is worth about as much as a ciggarette butt - and he would give you the entire stock of the store. so we would go and get our candy, and we'd go into the town square and eat it. now, we didn't have any of your fancy food laws back in the day, so there was all kinds of stuff in our candy. bleach, rust, bones--you name it. so we would always get a little hyper after our candy. one day, when we were hyper, we went up the mr boris's car, the only car in the town, and touched it. as we touched it, we saw dad storming down the street holding his belt. "you kids, having fun while i work all day in the soot factory just so you can have grilled water for tea every night, i oughta smack you all". we were sure he was going to smack us, but then he said "no, i got a better idea, ill take you to see mr henderson, he'll set ya right". now, dad had told us about mr henderson. mr henderson was a veteran from the great war, where he got a really bad injury, but we never knew what it was. dad walked us all down to the pub, and we saw a left testicle propped up on a pegleg. "mr henderson," said dad, "i have some kids here who need a good whooping". then, mr henderson picked up the entire pub, and hit us each 4006 times with it. then, dad said "right, i gotta go back to the soot factory, you kids run on home now". now, by now it was 1pm, which meant it was curfew. while we were walking out of the town square, we heard a man shout "oi you bloody kids, its curfew". we turned around and saw the constable holding his baton. he hit us each 160265 times with his baton, then put us in gaol for 60123865 years. now - they don't make gaols like they used to - this one had 5 mile thick steel walls, and a single hole in the top let in some light. we were in there for about 13526 years, until mum baked the constable some cardboard pie so he would let us out. then, she hit us all 1292 times with a washboard, and grounded us for the rest of our lives. so don't you come complaining to me about nonsense like not having tv while hiking 25 miles to school.
