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PACKGOD vs Jack Doherty

    Packgod vs Jack Doherty
    “You look like Justin Bieber fused with a geometry dash square”

    Entire script of Packgod roasting Jack Doherty in his latest video. Packgod is a Youtuber who makes videos roasting other internet celebrities on a Discord call. 

    I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M TIRED OF JACK! I'M TIRED OF YO CONTENT FAKING, ONLYFANS GIRL PIMPING, SUPER CAR FLEXING, MAN BABY FACE HAVING, EGOTISTICAL, SELF RIGHTEOUS, DISRESPECTFUL, PILE OF HEATED UP HORSE MANURE! BITCH YOU SPREAD ACROSS THE INTERNET LIKE A BUBONIC PLAGUE, YOU LOOK LIKE A 7 YEAR OLD, YOUR FACE DOESN'T AGE, YOU MAKE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS OFF OF ONLYFANS GIRLS WHILE PAYING THEM MINIMUM WAGE, "ILL DO ANYTHING FOR CLOUT, WHATEVER IT TAKES!" LOOKIN ASS!!! PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY, CLASH OF CLANS BUILDER, BOB THE BUILDER OFF OF PERCOCET LOOKING ASS MOTHERFUCKER! BITCH YOU LOOK LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER INFUSED WITH A GEOMETRY DASH SQUARE! BITCH YOUR THE MODERN PERSONIFICATION OF BLING BLING BOY FROM JOHNNY TEST! BITCH YOU LOOK LIKE YOU BELONG BUSTING IT DOWN ON THE COVER OF A KIDZ BOP GREATEST HITS ALBUM! "I'M AN INFLUENCER! LOOK AT ME!" BITCH THE ONLY THING YOU EVER INFLUENCED WAS YOUR DAD TO TAKE BIRTH CONTROL! BITCH I'M COMING AT YOU LIKE A BALLISTIC MISSLE! BITCH YOU BUILT LIKE A STICK OF PEANUT BRITTLE! YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S LOVE FOR YOU IS ARTIFICIAL! BITCH YOU LOOK LIKE RALPHIE OFF OF THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS AND I'M BOUTTA SCHOOL YOU LIKE MRS. FRIZZLE! BITCH SHUT YO UNDERCOOKED, DISILLUSIONED, THEORETICAL, FROG FACED, NIPPLE WART, COSTO CHICKEN BAKED, HARLEM SHAKING, REVERBERATING, MANIACAL, UNRELIABLE, MIDGET, URINE STAIN LOOKING ASS THE FUCK UP! BITCH YOU JERK OFF IN THE MIRROR, SCRATCH YOU BALLS, AND LICK YOUR FINGERS, YOU A DISGRACE TO YOUR FAMILY AND HUMANITY, WHEN I SEE YOUR VIDEOS I LOSE MY SANITY, AND YOUR BUILT LIKE AN UNDERDEVELOPED SEAN HANNITY! SHUT YO DUMBASS THE FUCK UP!!! NOBODY FUCKING CARES ABOUT YOU! FUCK YOU FOR PROMOTING ONLYFANS! FUCK YOU FOR PROMOTING GAMBLING! YOUR A PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT! FUCK YOOOOOOUUUUUUU!
*mic dropped*

    Greetings, You have been selected to pick cotton at the nearest plantation.

      You’ve been selected to pick cotton copypasta

      These racist texts were sent anonymously to troll people after former President Donald Trump won the presidential race in 2024.

      Greetings! 
You’ve been selected to pick cotton at the nearest plantation. Be ready at 12AM JANUARY 13 SHARP with your belongings. Our Executive Slaves will come get you in a White Van, be prepared to be searched down once you’ve entered the plantation. You are in Plantation Group A. 
      Greetings! 👋 You’ve 🫵 been selected ✅ to 2️⃣ pick cotton 🍃🤏 at the nearest plantation! 🚜

Be ready 🧍‍♂️ at 12AM JANUARY 13 🕒 SHARP #️⃣ with your 🫵 belongings. 💼 Our Executive Slaves 👨‍💼 will come get you 🫵 in a White Van 🚐, be prepared to be searched 🔎 down 📉 once 1️⃣ you've 🫵 entered the plantation. 🚜 You 🫵 are in Plantation Group A. 🚜
      Greetings,

You have been selected to pick cotton at the nearest plantation. Be ready at 1:00 pm SHARP with your belongings. Our Executive Slaves will come get you in a Brown Van, be prepared to be searched down once you’ve enter the plantation. You are in Plantation Group C. good day.

      I’m not gay, but I will 100% take the opportunity to be fucked by a dude.

        Copypasta "I will 100% take the opportunity to be fucked by a dude"
        I'm not gay, but I will 100% take the opportunity to be fucked by a dude. I wouldn't even say I'm bi, since I have zero interest in a relationship with a man. I just love getting pounded is all. If I get fucked and swallow some cum and have an orgasm or two, I generally feel ready to go again, but I definitely don't want to hang out with the guy or kiss or hold hands or any of that gay shit afterwards. Wouldn't say I'm attracted to men at all really.
        I'm not gay, but I will 100% take the opportunity to be fucked by a dude. I wouldn't even say I'm bi, since I have zero interest in a relationship with a man. I just love getting pounded is all. If I get fucked and swallow some cum and have an orgasm or two, I generally feel ready to go again, but I definitely don't want to hang out with the guy or kiss or hold hands or any of that gay shit afterwards. Wouldn't say I'm gay. 🤭

        Greetings my given name is Richard Harrison

          Richard Harrison from Pawn Stars copypasta

          Started as a comment for another Richard Harrison copypasta back in 2016. OP has deleted their Reddit account but the original comment and copypasta still lives on.

          Greetings; my given name is Richard Harrison and the facility we have entered is a retail establishment that specializes in unredeemed goods, which is the legal property of yours truly. I currently employ my paternal parental unit, alias, "Elderly Male," and the offspring of oneself, whose given name is Corey Harrison, yet has assumed the identity, "Large Hoss." Each individual item currently possessed by my fine retail establishment beholds a lengthy narrative and of course, this being a legal retail establishment, can be acqulred for reasonable compensation. I have been the legal facilitator of this established haberdashery since the year MCMXCV, and in those XXI years, I have been gradually lnformed that; thy shall, at no time in the past, future, or present, be aware of by means of observation or inqulry, any details whatsoever of the material goods that will proceed past the aperture of my structure where goods are acquired and distributed simultaneously.

          Christmas Eve

            People often send the Christmas Eve emoji chaintext/copypasta as a joke to their friends and family on the eve of Christmas. On Christmas day itself, the Christmas emoji copypasta would be used instead.

            it’s SLUTMAS EVE you HOE HOE HOES‼️👅👅👅🎄🎄🎄 Santa Claus is CUMMING 💦💦 to town 🧑‍🎄 🧑‍🎄 🧑‍🎄 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆and he wants to know if you’ve been NAUGHTY 😈😈☠☠ or NICE 😇😇🙏🙏this DICKCEMBER 🗓🗓 if you want Daddy TO STUFF YOUR STOCKING 😫😫😍😍 this SLUTMAS 👄👄🎄🎄 you better be a GOOD ELF 👼👼👼 because SANTA IS WATCHING FROM HIS CUCK🪑CHAIR‼️🔍👀 send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your SLUTTY ELF HOES who are DEFINITELY on the naughty list 🍆🍆🍑🍑 get 0️⃣ back and you won’t be jingling any balls this slutmas eve❌❌❌👎👎🙅🙅 get 5️⃣ back and you’ll be sucking on some CANDY CANE DICK 2nite🧑‍🎄🧑‍🎄🧑‍🎄 get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and Daddy will show u a WHITE CHRISTMAS 🍆🍆🍆💦💦👉👌💦💦🍆🍆🍆 
            it’s SLUTMAS EVE you HOE HOE HOES‼️👅👅👅🎄🎄🎄 Santa Claus is CUMMING 💦💦 to town 🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆and he wants to know if you’ve been NAUGHTY 😈😈☠☠ or NICE 😇😇🙏🙏this DICKCEMBER 🗓🗓 if you want Daddy tO STUFF YOUR STOCKING 😫😫😍😍 this SLUTMAS 👄👄🎄🎄 you better be a GOOD GIRL 👼👼👼 because SaNTA IS WATCHING‼️🔍👀 send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your SLUTTY ELF HOES who are DEFINITELY on the naughty list 🍆🍆🍑🍑 get 0️⃣ back and you won’t be jingling any balls this slutmas eve❌❌❌👎👎🙅🙅 get 5️⃣ back and you’ll be sucking on some CANDY CANE DICK 2nite 🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻 get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and Daddy will show u a WHITE CHRISTMAS 🍆🍆🍆💦💦👉👌💦💦🍆🍆🍆
            Listen👂up ⬆️ all you elf🧝 sluts 😩💦It’s Christmas Eve 🎄 And you know what that means Santa Claus 🎅 is cumming 🍆 💦 😩 tonight and he’s giving all the good 👍🏻 girls 👧 and boys👦 presents 🎁 but if you’ve been a naughty 😈 little slut like me then he’s cumming 💦 to give you a big black 🖤lump of cock 🍆 so you better watch ⌚️out you better not cry 😭 you better not pout 😒 he’s going in dry
            It’s Christmas Eve ❄️🎄. Snow falls 💦 gently 🌨 on the yard 🍃outside. 🌲 A fire 🔥 crackles behind 😬 you. It’s been 😵 a rough 👊🏻 month. Your wife 🤷‍♀️left you and ✋ the present 🎁 pile under the 😤 tree 🌲 is bare. 🐻 It doesn’t 💯 matter 💦 though, 😭 there was only one☝🏿 present 🎁 you wanted ❄️ anyway. And as the sky 🌌 darkens and 👄 the fire 🔥 wanes you 😩 know 😁 it won’t ✋ happen. 🙂 There’s no 😱 way the one thing 👊🏻 that could 🙏 keep ❄️ you 😳 hanging 🐈 on will happen. 👋🏻 It’s almost 👅 Christmas, 🎄 he’s not coming. 💯 Then, you 👄 hear a shuffle 😜 outside. Your door 🚪 begins to shake 😩. Someone 😁 is trying 🙃 to open the 🚪door! Could it be? 😩After all this ⏰ time? The 💯 door 💥 shakes 😂 violently 🔫 and gets thrown 👋🏻 off its hinges. 😂 You stand 😤 amidst the debris 👅 and there 🧔🏿he is! The only ☝🏿 thing 😋 that could 😩 save Christmas, 🎄 Lebron 💯 James! He leans 👅 in and 😬 whispers 💦 “Yo you wanna sprite cranberry?” 💯👅💦😂👌🏻
            It's Christmas ❄️❄️❄️ Eve! Santa 🎅🎅 Claus shoves his thick 🤤hands 🤲🤲🤲 into his raindeer🦌 skin🔪 gloves 🧤🧤🧤 and places down ⬇⬇ his TIGHT😵 cock🍆 🐓 ring 💍💍 around➰ his dick😘 🍆 and balls 🏀🏀 before pounding😤 away🦌😵 at that reindeer😍 ass 🍑 holy shit 💩 santa 🎅 you're 👉 going to fast ⚡ and Rudolph is 🤪 disorientated😷 slow 🐌🐌 down ⬇⬇ fucking 😳🖕 hell 😂we're gonna crash🤪 shit 💩 Santa 😓🎅🎅🎅 Claus' 😂MASSIVE🥵 COCK😂 🐓 swipes🌊 through the city🤣 🌃 killing millions 😆of children😘 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦👨‍👩‍👧‍👦👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 🍆👦😂 and locks😮🤩 onto🤭 the🤫 Grinch's phat😛 pregnant 🤩ass 🍑 oh😰 fuck😂 🖕👦🖕 keep running 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ Grinch😓 but he was too😂 slow 🐌🐌🐌 and santas Potbelly😋 sausage🥵 pasta 🍝 bake penetrates🤭 the Grinch😳🤯 and fills his stomach🥴 drowning😩 the fetus 😭of Satan🧐 in his stomach🤰🚶‍♀️ 😭 fuck 🖕👦🖕 you Santa😠 🎅🎅🎅 next ⏭ Christmas ❄️❄️❄️ Eve watch 👁👁🧐 where 🤷 you put your 👉 cock 🐓 😬😑😑😑
            Merry ❌❌❌mas Eve 2️⃣4️⃣ you Christmas 🍪🍪🍪Sugar Coochie🍪🍪🍪 Munchers😝🤪🤤2️⃣Night is the last 😪night to be 😈Naughty😏or 😇Nice 👎because🎅🏻Santa Claus🎅🏻 is CUMMING💦💦💦 to town🌃You better be fucking 👉👌around the 🍆🍆DICKMAS TREE🌲🌲on this 😩HORNY NIGHT😩 and catch that 🕺🕺pa rum pum pum pum🕺🕺 from the 🥁LITTLE HUMPER BOY 🥁so it can be a ❄️💦❄️WHITE ❌❌❌MAS❄️💦❄️ It’s gonna be a not so🤠SILENT NIGHT🤫once you🔔🔔JINGLE some BALLS🔔🔔 and suck🤤a LITTLE SAINT DICK🎅Send this to the1️⃣2️⃣CUNTS of Christmas👅👅If you get0️⃣back👵🏻GRANDMA WILL GET RAN THROUGH BY A REINDEER🦌🦌If you get5️⃣back you’ll get a🍭candy cane🍭up your👉👌gingerbread chimney👉👌
            Jingle my bells 🔔 you ho ho hoes. It’s Christmas 🎄 Eve and you know what that means, time ⏰ for the jolly fat man 🎅 to stick his Yule LOG 🪵 in your stocking 🧦. Santa made his list 📋 and he checked it twice. He’s going to find out if you’ve been NAUGHTY 😡 or nice 😊 . Have you been a HO-HO-HORNY elf 🧝 or were you a good boy 😛 for daddy Clause? Tonight’s the night that Santa 🎅and his 8️⃣ horny reindeer 🦌land the sleigh 🛷 on you roof 🏠 and CUM 💦down your chimney.

Send this to your 8️⃣ HORNIEST elves 🧝 and get your stocking stuffed with a big long candy cane. Send it to 1️⃣0️⃣ and Santa will give you a WHITE 💦 Christmas 🎄 . Send it to 1️⃣2️⃣ And Santa will let you spend the night with his number one SLUT Mrs. Clause 🤶. Send it to no one and SANTA SLUT will put a hot steaming lump of coal 💩 in your stocking. 🎄🎅🦌🎁
            🎄✨ Jingle my bells, you festive ho-ho-hoes! 🎅🤶 Christmas Eve is upon us, and it's time to unwrap those holiday fantasies! 🎁🍑 Gather 'round like sexy little elves, whether you're a candy cane connoisseur or a tinsel tease! 🍭🔥

🔔🎉 Santa Daddy 🎅🍆 is making a list, and he's checking it twice—gonna find out who's naughty and nice! 😈📜 Have you been a ho-ho-horny little elf, or are you aiming for that halo on your mistletoe? 😇🌿

🎊🎄 Tonight, let's roast those chestnuts on an open fire and deck the halls with more than just boughs of holly! 🌰🔥 Send this to 12 of your horniest reindeer 🦌🍑 or risk getting coal in your stocking! 🍆🎅 If you get all 12 back, you'll be unwrapping presents in ways you never imagined! 🎁💦

Merry Spankmas, you ho-ho-horny angels! 🎄😇✨
            🛋️👴📖Twas the night 😴🌃 before Christmas🎄🎁, and all through the whorehouse🏠👯‍♀️, The walls were a-shakin’🫨🏚️😏 as Santa 🎅blew your back out!🔥💥🍆🥵‼️‼️

His balls🥜 were a-twitchin’🥴 and slappin’ your butt🫲🍑😱! You squealed like a reindeer 🦌🗣️😩and busted a nut!!💥!💥💣💦😵‍💫!

There’s one ☝️✨special✨ reason that Santa🎅 came through, To cum 😉down ⬇️👇the chimney 🦵🦪🦵😏of little-ol’ you🫵🫵…

You rode🐎🤪 the North Pole🎅💈🦴😛 to your big claim to fame🥳🏆: The top ⬆️🏁of his 😈Naughty🔥List😈 has your🫵 given name!💯 —--- 💌💌💌Send this to 1️⃣2️⃣ NASTIES of NAVIDAD😈💋👯 so Santa👉🎅👈 knows🤔 whose house 🏘️to hit next!🔜 None back🙅↩️: one year 🗓️of chase🔒🔒 cock neglect😭😭😭!!! 6 back: your fruitcake🥧 is gonna get wrecked👊👊! 12 back…☝️✌️ WELL…😳 make sure your booty🍑🕳️ is prepped 🫦🐴🦴😩🥵😱 ;) — 🎅🗣️📣“To the window!🪟 To the wall!🧱 Til the sweat🥵💧 drips down⬇️ my balls🍠! Now, dash away!🏃‍♂️💨 Dash away! 🏇Dash away🌰🔩 all!”

I heard him exclaim📢🔊, as he flew out of sight 👀🌫️- 🎅🎅🎅“MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL,💯💯 AND TO ALL SOME GOOD PIPE‼️🎁!🍆”
            'Twas the night 🌙 before Christmas, 🎅 when 🍑 all through 👉⏬ the house All the neighborhood 🏠🏡⛔ partied, and no one would 😩👪 grouse For 🔄 the stockings 🧦 were 👨😩 hung by the chimney quite 🤫 nice, Filled 🥛 with bottles 🍼💦💦👯‍♀️👯‍♀️ of liquor, along with dry 🚱 ice; 🍧 Later, we’ll be nestled all snug in our beds; While visions of penises dance 💃 in 👇 our heads; For now, 💏 Mommy in her crop top, 👚🔼 and I ℹ in her lap, Had just rallied the crowd for a long game 🀄 of slap, When in the dining room 🧖‍♂️🧖‍♂️🧖‍♂️ there 👉 arose such a clatter, I sprang up so quickly to see what 😁‼️ was the matter. 🤣 Away 😂 to the door 🔑🚪 I flew like a flash, To see women on 💦 the table, and friends throwing cash. The light hit 💩 the breasts of the newly 👹 naked 🍑 show, 📺 And gave quite the chub to objects below, 🐝🍇 When what ❓ to my wondering eyes 😙 did appear, But a rather 👉 large 🔶⬜ penis 🎄 and eight 8⃣ others 👪 so dear, 🔆 With a very skilled speed, so lively and quick, I knew in ☮️ a moment everyone would get a dick. 🍆 More ➕➕➕➕➕➕➕➕➕ rapid than eagles the courters they came, 💦 And we whistled, and shouted, and called them by 😈 name: "Now, Dasher! now, Dingle! now Pecker and Vixen! On, Boner! on, Cupid! on, Donger and Blitz her! 💭🚺🚺 To the top 🔝 of the tits! to the top of the wall! 👤🙏 Now 💦🚽 dash 〰 away! dash away! dash away all!" 💯 And then, 😵 in 🙌🏻 a twinkling, I 💲😞 heard in my ear 👂 A sweet 🍫 proposition that no one 🩱 should fear. As I drew back my head, 🌜💖💖 and was turning around, Down 👏 the chimney our slutty 💦🍆👅 Santa 🎅🏾 came with a bound. 🤐🤐 He 📷 was dressed all 💯 in fur, from 🙃 his 💦 head to his foot, 🦶🏼 His 👋 thong partly tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had 💔 flung on his 🦶🏻 back, And he 😾😻 looked like 🩸 a pedler just 🏻 opening his pack. 🐾 His 💦 eyes—how they 🏽 twinkled! his dimples, how merry! His 😐 abs were 👥👥 like washboards, his 😵💦 chest faintly hairy! His 🤓 hot little 👌 mouth 🤑 was drawn up 🔝 like 😡🎶 a bow, And the beard 🧔 on 🔛 his 😈 chin was as white ◽💮 as the snow; 🌨 With his full bottom 🔻 lip 👄 held 👨‍💼 tight in his teeth, And his ⚠️ choker encircled his neck 👢😫 like 🤠 a wreath; 🍂 He 📷 had 💋 nice broad shoulders 😎 and brought a friend 😤😜 named 🧨 Kelly, Her boobs shook when she laughed, 😅🤣🤪 like 😄 a bowl 🥣 full 🌕🌕 of jelly. She was curvy and plump, a right 👉 sexy 😇 little elf, 🧝‍♂️ And I 🆔🙏🏾😀📞🙇🏊🏼 laughed when I 😀 saw them, 😽 in 🙈 spite of myself; A wink 😜 of his eye and a twist of his head 🦊👱 And the holiday spirit, it started to spread; 👐 He spoke not a word, but went straight 🙀 to his work, And helped all fill the pussies; 🍆😩 then 🤪 turned 😍 with a jerk, And laying his 🧍‍♂️ finger 🤞 aside 😤 of his 💦 nose, 👃 And giving a nod, down 👏 Kelly he 👨 goes; 🎆 We sprang to the orgy, 🎊 some ⛄ partners did whistle, And away 😂 our clothes flew like 🌂 the down of a thistle. I heard him 👴 exclaim, as we all fell 🎃 to the sight— “Happy Christmas 🎄 to all, 💯 and to all a good ✅ night!” 🌌🌚 
            ふえぇ❣️😳💦もうすぐクリスマス🎄🎅なのに恋人💏💕いないってマジ⁉️😱💦😢⤵️これじゃクリスマス🎄🍭ひとりぼっち😢💔⤵️ぴぇ〜ん😭💔💦実は🤫💭フォロワーさんの中に🙂✨好きな人😘💕がいるんだけどDM💌で告白💐💌💖してくれたらOK🙆‍♂️✨するのになぁ😳💓

            English translation

            Eeeek ❣️😳💦 It's almost Christmas 🎄🎅 and I don't have a boyfriend 💏💕 Seriously ⁉️😱💦😢⤵️ This means Christmas 🎄🍭 will be all alone 😢💔⤵️ Peeew 😭💔💦 Actually 🤫💭 There is someone 😘💕 🙂✨ and if you would just confess 💐💌💖 to me in a DM 💌 I would be OK with that 🙆‍♂️✨ 😳💓

            You enter a Subway store, and it’s empty, slightly too cool to be comfortable

              Subway Experience copypasta written by Asterion

              Written by u/Aetrion under a TIL post of Subway closing their restaurants, it has become a copypasta most commonly known as “The Subway Experience”.

              You enter a Subway store, and it's empty, slightly too cool to be comfortable, slightly too damp to feel clean, and slightly too bright to be inviting. There is one lonely employee, who does their best not to look at you for those awkward 10 seconds while you walk to the counter before you're close enough to order. You know you interrupted them while they were doing something else. They give their greeting, ask you what you want, you begin scanning their workspace. The bins of raw ingredients are sitting askew, separated by steel walls, yet careless hands have dropped some of each on all the others. The preparation area is littered with crumbs and bits of lettuce, maybe the odd olive or onion piece here or there that has wedged itself into the crack between the food trays and the cutting board. This could have been cleaned up while nobody was there, but the employee doesn't care. For one second you wonder how it got messy in the first place given the lack of customers. Maybe it's staged, like those first few pennies in a homeless person's hat. Do you want it toasted? You do, but that would mean standing here for a minute with the stranger you disturbed waiting for the bread to be sanitized. You observe the employee assemble your sandwich, making sure to painstakingly put each ingredient on only one half of the sub. You ask for sauce and they squeeze it out of a disgusting rubber nipple, then toss the bottle back into its bin like they don't want to touch it either. Are they wearing those gloves to keep the food clean, or their hands? You pay, the sandwich heavily sags into a flimsy garbage bag it doesn't really seem to fit in and is handed to you. You walk out, into the light of the sun. The colors suddenly seem real again and you become aware of your breathing because the air feels rich and life giving somehow. The distant memory of tasty subs that brought you here lingers just beyond the edge of clear recollection, like an old acquaintance who's face you can't picture anymore. You carry your catch to the car. When did it get this bad?
              You enter a Subway store, and it's deserted, slightly too cool to be comfortable, slightly too damp to feel clean, and slightly too bright to be inviting. There is one lonely employee, who sheepishly pockets their tiny electronic escape window as the sound of the door drags them back to reality. They do their best not to look at you for those awkward 10 seconds while you walk to the counter before you're close enough to order. They give their greeting, ask you what you want, you begin scanning their workspace.

The bins of raw ingredients are sitting askew, separated by steel walls, yet careless hands have dropped some of each on all the others. The preparation area is littered with crumbs and bits of lettuce, maybe the odd olive or onion piece here or there that has wedged itself into the crack between the food trays and the cutting board. This could have been cleaned up while nobody was here, but minimum wage buys minimum effort. For one second you wonder how it got messy in the first place given the lack of customers. Maybe it's staged, like those first few pennies in a homeless person's hat.

Do you want it toasted? You do, so you spend a minute in silence with the stranger you disturbed, waiting for the bread to be sanitized. You feign interest in the cookies while the infrasound hum of some overworked piece of machinery builds to an unscratchable itch just behind your forehead. The toaster mercifully releases its hostage, and it is splayed open before you while you call out soggy vegetables to abuse it with.

You observe as the employee assembles your sandwich, making sure to painstakingly put each ingredient on only one half of the sub. You ask for sauce and they squeeze it out of a disgusting rubber nipple, then toss the bottle back into its bin like they don't want to touch it either. It weezingly inhales the kitchen scraps and windex aroma that permeates the store. Are they wearing those gloves to keep the food clean, or their hands? You pay, the sandwich heavily sags into a flimsy garbage bag it doesn't really seem to fit in and is handed to you.

You walk into the light of the sun. The colors suddenly seem real again and you become aware of your breathing because the air outside feels rich and life giving somehow. The distant memory of tasty subs that brought you here lingers just beyond the edge of clear recollection, like an old acquaintance whose face you can't picture anymore. You carry your catch to the car. When did it get this bad?