Skip to content

Ji Tu – Art of Choke

    G2 team in CS2

    Similar to the Hu Xi copypasta, its a troll on G2 Esports by romanization of the player and team names into Chinese. Snax, NiKo, huNter, m0NESY, malbsMd and G2 has been changed into their respective Chinese equivalent.

    Counter Strike 2

    🈵JI TU🈵ART OF CHOKE🈵MAO NI ZHI🈵 EM MA DI 🈵 HAN TA 🈵 XI NAX 🈵 
    Ji Tu - Art of Choke
    
    Starring Snak Su, Ni Koh, Han Ta, Mo Neh Xi, and Mal Sem Di.

    Valorant

    🈵 JI TU 🈵 ART OF CHOKE 🈵 ZHOU NA PI 🈵 WA LIN 🈵 ZHAO GE MO 🈵 LI FU 🈵 TLENT 🈵 
    JI TU BigPhish ART OF CHOKE BigPhish FA LIN BigPhish TLENT BigPhish ZHAO GE MO BigPhish ZHOU NA PI BigPhish LI FU

    LORD ARBITER, YOU MUST BREED WITH JINHSI NOW

      Its a series of ongoing Wuthering Waves memes featuring the leader of each nation imploring Rover (the protagonist) to breed with the women of their choice. It was inspired by the Redfield bloodline meme where Christ Redfield wants Leon to bang his sister Claire to continue their bloodline.

      Lord Arbiter, YOU MUST BREED JINHSI NOW

      LORD ARBITER, YOU MUST BREED JINHSI NOW. THE FUTURE OF JINZHOU DEPENDS ON IT. THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF THIS ONE'S CALCULATIONS HAVE BEEN DEDICATED TO SELECTING THE IDEAL SPECIMIN TO GROOM INTO YOUR PERFECT WIFE.
      DO NOT WASTE THIS CHANCE. YOU MUST BREED JINHSI NOW, LORD ARBITER.

      Listen kid, YOU MARRY MY CARLOTTA

      LISTEN, KID, YOU MARRY MY CARLOTTA, YOU GET BEAUTY, BRAINS, AND A BLOODLINE THAT COMES WITH GLORY AND FORTUNE YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE, NOT LIKE THOSE DIRTY BACKWATER SLUM PEASANTS IN JINZHOU, WHO'D SELL THEIR OWN GRANDMOTHER FOR A DISCOUNT ON OLIVE OIL. THE MONTELLI FAMILY? WE GOT HONOR, POWER, AND SUNDAY DINNERS SO GOOD THEY MAKE GROWN MEN WEEP. DO YOU THINK THE JINNYZHOU CAN OFFER YOU THAT? PLEASE. THEIR WINES ARE DOGWATER, THEIR EGG AND FLOUR PRICES ARE JACKED TO THE SKY. DO YOU THINK THEY CAN OFFER YOU A FEAST? YOU'D EAT PLAIN RICE AND BEANS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. YOU WANT A QUEEN BY YOUR SIDE AND A DYNASTY BEHIND YOU? MARRY CARLOTTA. YOU WANT A LIFETIME OF HEADACHES AND LIVING LIKE A PEASANT FOREVER? BE MY GUEST- GO BACK TO JINZHOU.

      Return to Blackshores at once. SHOREKEEPER HAS BEEN DESIGNATED AS YOUR IDEAL PARTNER

      OBJECTION: CHIEF STEWARD, THIS SYSTEM MUST INTERVENE IN YOUR ERRONEOUS BEHAVIOR. YOU CANNOT CONTINUE YOUR MEANINGLESS AFFECTIONS WITH THE MONTELLI HEIR.
      ACCORDING TO THE TETHYS SYSTEM'S FUTURE SIMULATIONS, YOUR OFFSPRING WILL BE WEAK, A PREY FOR THE LAMENT. A DISGRACEFUL FATE FOR THE BLOOMBEARER'S FIGHT AGAINST THE LAMENT.
      
      SOLUTION: THIS SYSTEM HAS DEVISED A FAR SUPERIOR SOLUTION. RETURN TO THE BLACK SHORES AT ONCE. SHOREKEEPER, THE PERFECT BEING, A MASTERPIECE OF RESONANCE, HAS BEEN DESIGNATED AS YOUR IDEAL PARTNER. WITH HER VAST KNOWLEDGE AND UNSURPASSED POWER, YOUR CHILDREN WILL TRANSCEND MORTAL LIMITS. THEY SHALL POSSESS MINDS SHARP LIKE AETHERIC BLADES, FORMS SCULPTED BY EVOLUTION ITSELF, AND WILL NEVER, EVER BE MANLETS, AND WILL RESULT IN RESOLVING THE LAMENT ONCE AND FOR ALL.
      
      DO NOT FAIL HUMANITY, CHIEF STEWARD. THE TETHYS SYSTEM DEMANDS PERFECTION.

      Lord Arbiter, this one must warn you TO STOP FLIRTING WITH THE MONTELLI GIRL

      LORD ARBITER, THIS ONE MUST WARN YOU TO STOP FLIRTING WITH THE MONTELLI GIRL. ACCORDING TO THIS ONE
      FUTURE CALCULATION, YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE A MANLET LORD ARBITOR FOREVER RIDICULED BY THEIR PEERS. SUCH A TERRIBLE FATE FOR YOUR FUTURE GENERATION.
      I IMPLORE YOU TO COME BACK TO JINZHOU, LORD ARBITOR. THIS ONE ALREADY HAND-PICKED THE PERFECT SPECIMEN FOR YOU TO BE THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN. THIS ONE CALCULATES YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN WILL BEAUTIFUL LIKE JADE, STRONG LIKE A DRAGON, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY NOT A MANLET.

      Lord Arbiter, YOU MUST BREED CARTETHYIA NOW

      LORD ARBITER, YOU MUST BREED CARTETHYIA NOW. THE FUTURE OF RAGUNNA DEPENDS ON IT. YEARS UPON YEARS OF BATTLING THE DARK TIDE HAVE BEEN DEDICATED TO PROTECTING THIS IDEAL SPECIMIN TO GROOM INTO YOUR PERFECT WIFE. DO NOT WASTE THIS RARE CHANCE. YOU MUST BREED CARTETHYIA NOW, LORD ARBITER.

      THOU MUST BREED FLEURDELYS NOW

      LORD ARBITER, HEED MY WORDS. THOU MUST BREED FLEURDELYS NOW, FOR THE FUTURE OF RINASCITA DOTH HANG IN THE BALANCE. FOR FAR TOO LONG, THE PEOPLE OF RAGUNNA HAVE WAITED FOR THE COMING OF THE BLESSED MAIDEN. IN LIKE MANNER, I HAVE SPENT CENTURIES IN SEARCH OF THE PERFECT SPECIMEN TO BE THY WIFE, TO UNITE AND GUIDE THIS NATION TO PARADISE, AS IT HAS BEEN FORETOLD BY THE PROPHECY. WASTE NOT THIS CHANCE, THOU MUST BREED FLEURDELYS NOW, LORD ARBITER.

      He operates in the half-space between causality and chaos. His velocity isn’t speed, it’s spatial entropy.

        It came from a Twitter post about Omar Marmoush who is a footballer for Manchester City.

        Omar Marmoush operates in the half-space between causality and chaos. His velocity isn't speed, it's spatial entropy. He doesn’t run behind the defence; he quantum-leaps into unoccupied xThreat zones, disrupting vertical compactness and destabilising low-block temporal integrity

        Counter-Strike 2

        tn1r operates in the half-space between causality and chaos. His flicks aren’t speed, it's spatial entropy. He doesn’t lurk behind the defence; he quantum-leaps into unoccupied xThreat zones, disrupting vertical compactness and destabilising CT side temporal integrity. 

        Steve’s Lava Chicken

          Its the lyrics for the Lava Chicken song sang by Steve (Jack Black) in the A Minecraft Movie.

          La-la-la-lava 🌋🔥ch-ch-ch-chicken 🐔🍗 Steve's Lava Chicken 🌋🐔 yeah, it's tasty 👅 as hell 😈 Ooh, mamacita 💃 now you're ringin' the bell 🔔🎶 crispy 🍗 and juicy 💦 now you're havin' a snack 😋 ooh, super 🦸‍♂️ spicy 🥵🌶️ it's a lava 🌋 attack 👊🔥 
          La-la-la-lava ch-ch-ch-chicken Steve's Lava Chicken, yeah, it's tasty as hell Ooh, mamacita, now you're ringin' the bell Crispy and juicy, now you're havin' a snack Ooh, super spicy, it's a lava attack 

          Warning from an admin in an anime discord server

            It presumably came from an anime Discord server with a mod making an @everyone announcement with the copypasta. Its also known “Please DO NOT announce to the server when you are going to masturbate” copypasta and also has a circlejerk variation where someone INSISTS on announcing their masturbation.

            Please DO NOT announce to the server when you are going to masturbate. This has been a reoccurring issue, and I’m not sure why some people have such under developed social skills that they think that a server full of mostly male strangers would need to know that. No one is going to be impressed and give you a high five (especially considering where that hand has been). I don’t want to add this to the rules, since it would be embarrassing for new users to see that we have a problem with this, but it is going to be enforced as a rule from now on.
            
            If it occurs, you will be warned, then additional occurrences will be dealt with at the discretion of modstaff. Thanks.
            Anime discord server be like
            @everyone Please DO NOT announce to the server when you are going to masturbate.
            This has been a reoccurring issue, and I'm not sure why some people have such under-developed social skills that they think that a server full of mostly male strangers would need to know that.
            No one is going to be impressed and give you a high-five (especially considering where that hand has been.) I don't want to add this to the rules, since it would be embarrassing for new users to see that we have a problem with this, but it is going to be enforced as a rule from now on.

            I was at my aunties funeral and I touched her boob by accident

              I was at my aunties funeral and I touched her boob by accident but that shit still felt so squishy and soft and at that moment I was harder than a fucking rock. I told my parents that I wanted some alone time with her and say my final words when in reality i was feeling her up in her casket and my dick was just bursting with nut inside her tits felt so soft bruh