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My brother hates that I go to Cornell.

    Origin

    The copypasta started from r/Cornell but had since been deleted. It’s actually a referenced to the Chincanery copypasta or more specifically the siblings relationship between Chuck and Jimmy McGill from Better Call Saul. In the show, Chuck is perpetually jealous of his younger brother Jimmy, who seemingly turned his life around and achieved success equal to him.

    First of all, he graduated from Harvard Law School and works at a law firm. Like him, I am also seeking a law degree, but I’m at Cornell now. He hates that I’m graduating soon and he thinks the entire foundation of legal rule and the sanctity of law will be tarnished once I become a lawyer. To quote him directly, me being in law school is like “a chimp with a machine gun.” During our family Thanksgiving dinner today, he threw a tantrum in front of my family because he wanted to be the only lawyer. He wants to be the pride of the family. “Cornell University, for Christ’s sake?” He yelled at me as I asked my mom to pass the mashed potatoes. “What a joke. I worked my ass off to get where I am! And you take these shortcuts and you think suddenly you're my peer?” I used to work in the mail room in his law firm. He said he was proud of me then and wishes I never turned my life around. Every day, I think about dropping out and going back to my old job just to make him happy…

    Template version

    First of all, he graduated from <School> Law School and works at a law firm. Like him, I am also seeking a law degree, but I’m at <School> now. He hates that I’m graduating soon and he thinks the entire foundation of legal rule and the sanctity of law will be tarnished once I become a lawyer. To quote him directly, me being in law school is like “a chimp with a machine gun.” During our family Thanksgiving dinner today, he threw a tantrum in front of my family because he wanted to be the only lawyer. He wants to be the pride of the family. “<School> University, for Christ’s sake?” He yelled at me as I asked my mom to pass the mashed potatoes. “What a joke. I worked my ass off to get where I am! And you take these shortcuts and you think suddenly you're my peer?” I used to work in the mail room in his law firm. He said he was proud of me then and wishes I never turned my life around. Every day, I think about dropping out and going back to my old job just to make him happy…

    The objectification of gd users has gone too far

      So there I am, eating my lunch playing gd when a group of females come up to me, obviously trying to flirt with me, talking about what my hardest is or something. They eventually stopped talking to me though for some reason as soon as I started demonstrating my clearly superior skill and intellect at the game (I don't see why honestly).

This has not been an isolated incident, for the past several weeks at my middle school every woman has tried to court me. I've even gone as far as to sit in the most isolated part of the lunch room away from everywhere else and put my stuff to block anyone sitting next to me, but an asian girl (5/10 imo) literally moved my stuff and started talking to me about how difficult Acu is. Listen, I don't care about your "difficult" levels, Acu is FAR from a challenge. I don't struggle on levels. and after repeatedly demonstrating that I was not interested in "Playing Pickle Chamber by Acratic" she finally left me alone. I wish these girls would just stop worshiping me just because I've done a main list level (which was not even remotely hard for me btw).

The worst ones are the ones that don't even play gd. We'll be having a nice, normal conversation and the topic of what games I play comes up. As soon as I mention the letters "GD" I see the change immediately. The blushing and flustering, the clear advances, and so on. What makes a lowly non-gd player think they would EVER have a chance with me? What makes them think I would ever have a family that considers Touhou a rhythm "game" worth playing?

Now, you may think I'm just extremely handsome (which I am) and that's what causes this, however my decently attractive acquaintances who play OSU (not smart enough to be considered friends imo) have no problems with this.

People need to stop fetishizing us GD players. If you just want cheap sex, literally the Minecraft normies are right there. Anyone else agree?

      My keyboard is a keyboard virgin.

        I just got a new keyboard and I realized I haven't typed anything vulgar or explicit on it yet, which makes me feel like it's a virgin keyboard. I almost don't want to either because just thinking about it feels dirty or sinful. It's making me seriously consider that I might want to swap it out with my old keyboard before I do decide to engage in any immoral behavior. Who knows, maybe one day I won't care as much and I'll be ready to pop her cherry mx.

        Female Flame Atronach from Oblivion

          Flame Atronach copypasta 
          I am going to have sex with this female Flame Atronach from Oblivion. I find the Flame Atronaches in The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion sexy. However, their body is made up of 87% fire, and 100% fire surrounds them. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with one. To remedy this, the Flame Atronach casts a spell on me making me resistant to fire. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points of damage each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, it just means I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with this Flame Atronach. I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with-especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure the Flame Atronach. The Flame Atronach and I go to the Planes of Oblivion to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat. The Planes of Oblivion is the Flame Atronach's natural habitat.

          Full version

          I am going to have sex with this female Flame Atronach from Oblivion. I find the female Atronaches in The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion sexy. However, their body is made up of 87% fire, and 100% fire surrounds them. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with one. To remedy this, the Flame Atronach casts a spell on me making me resistant to fire. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points of damage each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, It just means that I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with this Flame Atronach, I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with, especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure the Flame Atronach.


The Flame Atronach and I go to the Planes of Oblivion to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat.


Before we went into the Planes of Oblivion, the Flame Atronach let all the Daedra know that we are just here for sex. The Daedra will not attack us because they know I am here at the Planes of Oblivion on sexual business. This includes the Dremora. However, the Dremora Marknyaz thinks that I am going to be an easy recruit for becoming a follower of Mehrunes Dagon considering that I am having sex with a Flame Atronach. However, I have no interest in becoming a Daedra.

          Flame Atronach (Good ending)

          Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flame Atronach is objectively the most huggable Daedroth? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of cake, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm Mortal and Flame Cloak, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.

          You have been reported.

            Origin

            The ‘You have been reported. I am a Volunteer Reddit moderator’ is an old classic copypasta that started in Reddit around 2018. It is often used as satire on Redditors who thinks that they are above others and hold significant power online similar to Discord moderators

            You have been reported.

I am not a bot. I am a Volunteer Reddit moderator. I do not have mod powers but my reports are taken seriously and those who get on my bad side tend to get banned in under 24 hours. I have numerous rules, which you may read in my post history, but 1 is the most important rule of all

• I am an officer in training, and I expect to be treated the same way I would be with my uniform and badge.

Watch your back and get used to this face kiddo, you’ll be seeing a lot of it.

            Jerma Thanksgiving message

              From Jerma’s Tweet
              Hey everybody, real quick, just want to say Happy Thanksgiving to you all, hope you had a good one today. I thought- I thought I was gonna miss this, I thought I was gonna get it out there too late - but - I'm thankful for you. Let's just get it out there, alright? That's why I made this video. I am thankful for you and I had a great Turkey Day! Hope you did too. Hope you ate plenty of turkey, hope you had plenty of sausages, plenty of bacon, plenty of ham, all the things we love to have during our Thanksgiving feasts. I had plenty of it today. I'm thankful for you! I'll see you soon.