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I fucking hate this subreddit.

    I was sitting an exam like an hour ago and this guy walks in with tight jeans and an absolute dump truck of a man-ass.
    
    Honestly the dude was jiggly and cakey and it fr made me stare. He caught me staring at him and came up to me to ask me why I was staring at him.
    
    Thankfully, he didn't know I was looking at his ass. He was one of those macho men who thought I was stirring up trouble.
    
    Now, I could have de-escalated the situation by simply saying that I got lost in thought or sth.
    
    Nope. I had to pull a certified Wordington moment. I said without even thinking about it "nah man you just double checked up".
    
    He looks at me weird and says nothing, just makes a confused face.
    
    I say then "you got a thug shaker homie"
    
    Then, in the worst English I have ever heard he says "I do not England".
    
    Mf couldn't speak English (makes sense, few people can where I'm from), so NOW after I realized my blunder, I get a chance to redemption. I can play it off as me being normal!
    
    HA! NOPE!
    
    I change to my native tongue and say "you have a fat ass".
    
    And he punched me.
    
    Fuck you guys you ruined my brain with your gay ah ah posts.

    Starfield Pronouns

      Just wanna say, a little something.. There is nothing I love more.. Taking my headphones off, fuck that.. But there's this: There's nothing I love more than to, to, to sit down, comfy chair, turn on the PC, fire up a brand new RPG.. Lose myself, just, oh my God, just think of this world, just think of all the planets I can visit. All the immersive things I can get involved with, all the FIGHTS, all the relationships, all the people I meet, all the places I go. I'm so excited to go to there, and you know, I love nothing more, than with all of that laid out in front of me, I love nothing more, THAN TO BE DRAGGED DOWN, EVERY FUCKING CONVIVEABLE OPPROTUNITY, SO YOU CAN FUCKING CURRENT DAY US! "...Sorry, did you wanna get immersed in our world? Yeah, well, guess what? FUCKING PRONOUNS!! FUCKING GENDER AMBIGUITY! FUCKING CURRENT DAY CALIFORNIAN SHIT! 'CAUSE THAT'S ALL WE FUCKIN' KNOW! 'CAUSE WE'RE BORING!! ..WE'RE SO! FUCKING! BORING! ...WE. Can't SEE. Past out own FUCKING REFLECTION. .. THAT'S THE LEVEL OF OUR NARCISISSM HERE." - SAYS THE WESTERN GAME COMPANY. "FUCK YOUR IMMERSION. FUCK YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME. FUCK YOU JUST FALLING INTO A WORLD AND JUST GETTING LOST. OH, NO, NO! CURRENT FUCKING DAY!" ..FUCK OFF! YOU'RE BORING. YOU'RE FUCKING DULL. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. YOU ARE A ONE HIVEMIND TWATWAFFLE. ..THAT'S ALL YOU FUCKIN' ARE! And you wonder why people are getting so FUCKING SICK! AND TIRED! YOU TAKE EVERYTHING WE LOVE. ALL OUR IMMERSIONS. ALL OUR FANTASIES. ALL OUR ESCAPISM. AND YOU JUST CAN'T HELP SHOVEL YOUR DOGSHIT! FUCKING CRAP! IDEOLOGY. INTO EVERYTHING. EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY FUCKING THING. ... ... ...

      Pibby, Bluey, Ohio

        Pibby, Bluey, Ohio,
        Bowser Fart, Peppino!
        Chungus, Mogus, Jumbo Josh,
        Skibidi Toilet and Ghetto Smosh!
        Kino, Canny, Reddit Gold,
        Freddy FNAF, So Retro!
        Pickle Rick, SMG4,
        Keep your rizz memes, what a snore!

        Old version

        Chucky, Stalin, Megatron,
        Eric Cartman, Donkey Kong.
        Vader, Nader, Simon Legree.
        Terminators 1, 2 and 3.
        Iago, Joker, Voldemort.
        McEnroe on center court.
        Mr. Burns and Skeletor,
        Keep your good guys, what a snore.

        I got 2 phones

          Tiktok I got 2 phones script
          I am in possession of a dual set of mobile devices, wherein one is exclusively allocated for the procurement of contraband substances, while the other is dedicated to the meticulous management of pecuniary transactions. Moreover, I possess an additional pair of mobile devices, with one specifically designated for engaging in communication with the female gender, while the other remains steadfastly committed to the aforementioned financial transactions.
          Permit me to announce with an air of utmost refinement and sophistication that within my esteemed possession lie two meticulously chosen telephonic instruments, each designated with a distinct purpose of paramount significance. The first of these devices, my dear interlocutor, has been judiciously allocated to serve as the conduit through which I may engage In the most genteel and intricate dialogues with the select and venerable cadre of my business associates, this instrument through its divine connectivity permits the exchange of conversations pertaining to the intricacies of commerce negotiations of the most illustrious stature and collaborations of a particularly prosperous nature.
          
          On the other hand, the circumspection is tailored for the purposes of engaging. with the charming members of the Fairer Sex, as well as for the management of financial affairs of the highest consequence. It is this instrument you see that facilitates not only conversations of an amorous nature, but also the administration of matters that pertain to the accrual and stewardship of wealth.
          
          Thus, my dear conversational companion, I trust you now comprehend the exquisite rationale behind my ownership of these dual communication tools, each finely honed for their respective domains of discourse.

          Believe it or not, jail

            This is outrageous. Where are the armed men who come in to take the protestors away? Where are they? This kind of behavior is never tolerated in Baraqua. You shout like that they put you in jail. Right away. No trial, no nothing. Journalists, we have a special jail for journalists. You are stealing: right to jail. You are playing music too loud: right to jail, right away. Driving too fast: jail. Slow: jail. You are charging too high prices for sweaters, glasses: you right to jail. You undercook fish? Believe it or not, jail. You overcook chicken, also jail. Undercook, overcook. You make an appointment with the dentist and you don't show up, believe it or not, jail, right away. We have the best patients in the world because of jail.

            I really love Nilou. Like, a lot.

              Nilou copypasta
              I really love Nilou. Like, a lot. Like, a whole lot. You have no idea. I love her so much that it is inexplicable, and I'm ninety-nine percent sure that I have an unhealthy obsession. I will never get tired of listening that sweet, angelic voice of hers. It is my life goal to meet up her with her in real life and just say hello to her. I fall asleep at night dreaming of her holding a personal dance for me, and then she would be sorry tired that she comes and cuddles up to me while we sleep together. If I could just hold her hand for a brief moment, I could die happy. If given the opportunity, I would lightly nibble on her ear just to hear what kind of sweet moans she would let out. Then, I would hug her while she clings to my body hoping that I would stop, but I only continue as she moans louder and louder. I would give up almost anything just for her to look in my general direction. No matter what I do, I am constantly thinking of her. When I wake up, she is the first thing on my mind. When I go to school, I can only focus on her. When I go come home, I go on the computer so that I can listen to her beautiful voice. When I go to sleep, I dream of her and I living a happy life together. She is my pride, passion, and joy. If she were to call me "Onii-chan," I would probably get diabetes from her sweetness and die. I wish for nothing but her happiness. If it were for her, I would give my life without any second thoughts. Without her, my life would serve no purpose. I really love Nilou.

              Original copypasta was for Nanahira