Me and some friends got high and went out. We found a fat looking rat and we picked him up. We played with him and made him dance. After we were done with him I threw him against a fucking wall and he exploded. I love rats and I would never hurt one. Xanax made me throw a rat. So in his memory im gonna write a song called "splat rat"
R.I.P. splat rat😔🕊
Update: I will share the song once its done
Started from a HLTV thread somewhere in 2016 during Fanatic era of CSGO, its now a classic CS copypasta due to how satirical it sounds.
is it me or is olofmeister a bit of a boring player
like u see it at the end of the game "oh wow olof has 32 kills" but u can never remember them.
can u remember a single olof kill ?
but try guardian...u can see the flick i remember a guardian flick.
is it me or is NAF a bit of a boring player
like u see it at the end of the game "oh wow sloth has 32 kills" but u can never remember them.
can u remember a single sloth kill ?
but try guardian...u can see the flick i remember a guardian flick.
is it me or is zywoo a bit of a boring player
like u see it at the end of the game "oh wow zywoo has 32 kills" but u can never remember them.
can u remember a single zywoo kill ?
but try s1mple...u can see the flick i remember a s1mple flick.Benson Boone is the anti-Trump, his existence as an insanely talented unapologetically queer man who grew up Mormon is an act of resistance in itself, but gifting us a song like this during a week like we've had is honestly revolutionary. Thank youuuu powers that be for the absolute deluge of beautiful art lately, we neeeeed it 🫠😭✨️💖 
From Invincible S3E07 when Conquest introduced himself to Mark.
Stand ready for my arrival, worm. You were given orders. You were given time. You were given more leeway than most, and yet, I find this planet unprepared for the arrival of our Viltrum Empire. The Empire anticipated your resistance, which is why they sent me. I am Conquest, and I am your last chance to fulfill your duty.
Its from Invincible S3E08 where the villain Conquest confessed about his loneliness before trying to killing Mark.
I am so lonely. All the other Viltrumites are scared of me. No one talks to me. No one wants to be my friend. They think I am unstable. They send me from planet to planet, committing atrocities in their name. And as i get better at it they fear me more and more. I am a victim of my own success. Conquest. I don't even get a real name. Only a purpose. I am capable of so much more and no one sees it. Some days I feel so alone I could cry, but I don't. I never do. Because what would be the point. Not a single person in the entire universe would care. Take it to your grave. I am so lonely. All the other Viltrumites are scared of me. No one talks to me. No one wants to be my friend, they think I am unstable. They send me from planet to planet committing atrocities in their name. And as I get better at it, they fear me more and more… I am a victim of my own success. Conquest… I don’t even get a real name, only a purpose. I am capable of so much more and no one sees it. Some days I feel so alone I could cry but I don’t, I never do, because what would be the point? Not a single person in the entire universe would care. … Take it to your grave. 
The truth is... I want you to resist. I'm not here to save you. I'm not here to spread the greatness of the Viltrum Empire. I'm here because I enjoy this. See, to me, there is no greater pleasure than feeling the warmth of my fist... drenched in blood. 
you give off chill pedophile vibes like you lowkey like kids but you went to therapy and got impulse control so you would never hurt one if you know what i mean. im a pedophile too and it makes me happy when i read your comments cuz it feels like i can participate on this sub too. good on you bro thank you so much
Wedding Cake Cookie. My dear. Listen.
Shut the f--k up.
I don't give a ripe s--t about how fast the customer wants their f--king cake. I'm the godd--n cake decorator here. if they don't like the speed at which I make their cake, then they can go home and make it them-f--king-selves if they're in such a f--king hurry.
Same goes for these obnoxious little s--ts who keep asking me for cakes, and not telling me what they want, and then docking points from me when I don't read their doughy little minds.
f--k them. f--k all of them to d---h. I hate you and I want to put you in a blender with a cup of hot tea.