I don't smoke, vape, or do any drugs other than what the doctor gives me. Still got the ol' V-card too. Heck, my rizz levels are probably in the negatives as I haven't even had my first romantic kiss, let alone held hands in a romantic context. I also get okay grades in school so overall, no issues here, right?
However...
I just had to go and turn out fucking trans and apparently my parents aren't happy with my existence all because I'm not the gender they picked out for me.
In gamer terms, I guess I'm basically trying to customize my skin because I hate the default one assigned at spawn, but the mods don't care and they say I gotta play using the default skin anyway no matter how much I dislike it. Being mods they also notice when I try using cheat codes to get around the rules. The whole thing is a load of BS honestly.
Hey everyone,
So, I've been doing a lot of thinking and planning about my future career, and after countless hours of research and introspection, I've come to a decision that I feel really good about: I want to work at Google. It's like, they've got everything. The cool offices, amazing projects, and free snacks!!!! ffs!
Now, here's the thing. We all know how competitive it is to get a job at Google. I mean, they only have so many spots, and I really, really want one of them. I'm not that good at coding, so, I've come up with a strategy that I think is going to help me out, and I need your cooperation.
This might sound a bit unconventional, but hear me out. I'm kindly requesting, for the sake of my career aspirations, that everyone here on r/csmajors please refrain from applying to Google this year. Just for this year. Think of it as a personal favor to a fellow CS major who has their heart set.
I know we're all striving to make it big in the tech world, but if you could please consider other companies for your applications this year, that would be great. There are plenty of other amazing tech companies out there! Microsoft, Amazon, Facebook – the list goes on. Google is just one of many.
I appreciate your understanding and cooperation in this matter. It's not every day that someone gets a shot at their dream job, and with your help, I'm hoping to make my dream a reality. Let's all support each other's aspirations, starting with not applying to Google. Just for this year, please and thank you!
Sincerely, A Future Googler
University version
Hey everyone,
So, I've been doing a lot of thinking and planning about my future career, and after countless hours of research and introspection, I've come to a decision that I feel really good about: I want a to enter a University. It's like, they've got everything. The money, the work, and a purpose in life!!!! ffs!
Now, here's the thing. We all know how competitive it is to get into a good University. I mean, there's only so many spots, and I really, really want one of them. I'm not that good at being smart, so, I've come up with a strategy that I think is going to help me out, and I need your cooperation.
This might sound a bit unconventional, but hear me out. I'm kindly requesting, for the sake of my academic aspirations, that everyone here on r/csmajors please refrain from applying to universities this year. Just for this year. Think of it as a personal favor to a fellow CS major who has their heart set.
I know we're all striving to make it big in the tech world, but if you could please consider self studying this year, that would be great. There is a plenty of material out there! YouTube, libraries, internet the list goes on. Universities are just one of many.
I appreciate your understanding and cooperation in this matter. It's not every day that someone gets a shot at their dream university, and with your help, I'm hoping to make my dream a reality. Let's all support each other's aspirations, starting with not going to universities. Just for this year, please and thank you!
Sincerely, A Future Student
Let me break it down for you, Mark. Your mother and I have a relationship that's all about a master/slave dynamic. When I said she was more like a pet to me, I meant that in the most literal way possible. Remember that time you found a dog collar under the couch and I told you it's because we were getting a dog? That was a lie, son. Truthfully, your mom likes it when I put her on a leash and walk her around the backyard. She's usually naked, of course. I can't explain why, but the whole thing is her idea. She'll piss on trees, sleep in dog cages, chew up furniture -- she once took a full-sized, adult woman shit in my dockers. Your mother is one fucked-up slut, Mark. And I love her, but im not bringing that energy back to Viltrum with me. Frankly? She scares me sometimes. I don't know who molested her or how they did it, but there is some dark juju in that woman's head and I just dont know I'm strong enough to fuck it all away.
SATAN is👹⚔️ workin overtime 💪💪to make a new level of hell 🪚⚒🪚cause 🎉🎉💀HENRY PISSinger☠️ has FINALLY FUCKIN DIED🪦🪦🎉🎉!! u may know this proPIGandist🐽🐽 by his greatest hits: BOMBINGS 💣, GENOCIDES 👎😡😢, MILITARY💂 COUPS💥, and other 🚔🚔CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY🏴☠️!! but DID U KNOW 🧠❓he was also someone hillary clinton 👵🏻 considered a close personal friend😘👯♀️🆒!! he devoted his life to DICKlaring 🍆🍆war 🚫AGAINST 🚫 the CUMMIES💦💂💦 and other unCUNTstitutional 🍑🦪🦪🍑things and ppl called him a hero🤔🤷😡👎‼️⁉️ today we pour one out 🍻🥂🍾 for one of the WORST PEOPLE🤢👿🤢 to ever do it‼️ so SPREAD ↔️THOSE LEGS 💃💃 like ur the freedom 🗽🗽of infWHOREmation 📚📜📚act && send this to 2️⃣1️⃣ people u want to give u their TRICKY DICK 👁👅👁. GET5️⃣ BACK, you’ll give someone a déTENTe ⛺️🪵 IN THEIR PANTS get 🔟 back and you’ll be getting realpoliDICKED 🤤🤤🍆🍆DOWN with that MISSILE TREATY😏🚀🚀😏 tonight‼️
❤️ 🤠Howdy sluts!😘🥂 It's official: 👨🦳🕊War Criminal Henry KISS💋inger🕊👨🦳 is trying to KISS Heaven's Ass🍑🪽 For Entry 🤙🙏🤪 So join us in 😩Mourning😭 and 🥴Moaning🥴😏 👉allllll 💯across➡️🩸🫣 Southeast Asia👌❤️ 🌏 🌝Tonight's the night to 😘Kiss💋 some cheeks 💑 and Spread Some CHEEKS 🍑🥵, get some BOMB 💣 Ass🍑 Dicking down🍆⬇️ 💦 til you're in worse shape 😩💦 than Cambodia 🇰🇭 in 🫦🍆'6️⃣9️⃣ 🫣😏, all in honour of 🤪💦Tricky Dick's right-👋🍆Hand-Job 🩸💣Mass Murderer🫣🫦 💌Send this to all 💯 your favorite SEX-cretaries of State 🍑💦😏 If you get 3️⃣ or less, you’ve BLOWN 💦 your load 🍆🍆🍆 but missed the shot 🙀🙀🙀 just like our BAD BOY Kissinger 😻 blew his load all over 💯Southeast Asia 🌏 😿😿😿
"The illegal we do 👉👌😏 immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer 😛🫦💦" -Henry KISS💋inger
Pro Henry Kissinger
i am SICK and TIRED of seeing Kissinger hate everywhere I go! ''Muh pissinger this, muh Anthony Bourdain that'' like shut the fuck up peacenik. Every single Chilean or cambodian ''innocent'' child that Kissinger killed was a filthy communist that deserved nothing but 20 tons of agent orange. Like, who wants foreign policy without war crimes? Grow up libtards. Y'all are saying he's burning in hell but I know for a fact he's up therein heaven with Nixon, Reagan and Rumsfeld, laughing at all you all filty hippies burning in hell. Fucking McGovernites should shut the fuck up and respect a true american, hell, world hero
Anthony Bourdain on Henry Kissinger
“Once you’ve been to Cambodia, you’ll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands. You will never again be able to open a newspaper and read about that treacherous, prevaricating, murderous scumbag sitting down for a nice chat with Charlie Rose or attending some black-tie affair for a new glossy magazine without choking. Witness what Henry did in Cambodia – the fruits of his genius for statesmanship – and you will never understand why he’s not sitting in the dock at The Hague next to Milošević.”
― Anthony Bourdain
STOP POSTING ABOUT FU XUAN! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! My buddies on Reddit send me Fu Xuan porn, on Discord its fucking Fu Xuan porn. I was in a server, right, and ALL the channels are just Fu Xuan porn. I showed Honkai Star Rail to my girlfriend, and then I showed the characters and I said "Hey babe, when will you cosplay as Fu Xuan?! HAHA! UOOOOOOOOOOOOWGH 😭😭😭😭😭😭!" I fucking looked at a trash can and I said "That remembered me of trailblazer silly jokes which remembered me of Fu Xuan" I looked at my penis, and I thought about her idle action that seems like she is kissing your cock "PENIS? MORE LIKE FUTA XUAN COCK" AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
