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Just to let everyone know i do not bark. I have never barked in my life.

    Just to let everyone know i do not bark. I have never barked in my life. Everyday I wake up and do meaningful contributions to society. I am a very mature and respectable person. I would never engage in such activities such as barking, meowing, purring or making any animal noises. I am a pure chaste person who would never commit such a si- OMG IS THAT <INSERT CHARACTER> GRRRRR WOOF WOOF BARK BARK WOOF BARK BARK BARK BARK SNARL HISSSSS BARK BARK GRRRRRRR BARK BARK BARK foams at mouth WOOF WOOF GRRRRRR BARK BARK 
    just to let everyone know, i do not bark. i have never barked in my entire life. everyday, i wake up and make meaningful contributions to society. i am a very mature and respectable person. i am also a devoted member of the church, and attend afternoon mass every sunday. i would never engage in such activities as barking, meowing, purring, or making any animal noises. i am a pure, chaste person who would never commit such a sin. thank you. 
    Just to let you know, I do not bark. I have never barked in my entire life. Every day, I wake up and make meaningful contributions to society. I am a very mature and respectable person. I would never engage in such activities as barking, meowing, or any animal noises. Thank you. ummm, uhhh, guys I can't hold it in anymore i- WOOF WOOF BARK BARK WOOF HSSSS GRRRR WOOF WOOF BARK GRRRR HSSSS WOOF BARK ARF HSSSSS BARK ARF GRRRR WOOF WOOF BARK GRR SNARL ARF WOOF BARK ARF HSSSSS

    Real Pizza Copypasta

      This is a parody of the ‘Real emo‘ copypasta where the original poster is gatekeeping the definition of emo.

      Real pizza only consists of pre colonial ethnic Sicilian and Italian dough and cheese pastries. What is known as "party pizza" is nothing more than cultural appropriation and shameless consumerism piggybacking off of the success of the Italian-NewYorker immigrant sellouts intending to please gluttonous and tasteless Americans. When people say Chicago Deep Dish and Mexican Pizza aren't "real pizza" but say that New York Style pan pizza is, I can't help but laugh because New York Style is just as fake as the rest of them (plus the pretensiousness). Real pizza tastes subdued, thoughtful, and you can feel the love and thought put into every bite. Fake pizza is nothing but a failed tastbud-assaulting attempt at bringing diversity into the American fast food diet. PIZZA BELONGS TO THE MEDITERRANEAN REGION OF EUROPE, NOT TO NEW YORK, CHICAGO, TEXAS, SANFRANCISCO, OR ANY OTHER AMERICAN CITY.

      You can’t just say “perchance”

        You can’t just say "perchance" as if it's some whimsical relic from Shakespearean times and expect everyone to take you seriously! Do you even realize how absurdly out of place that word is in modern conversation? It's not some charming, archaic term that magically lends gravitas to your speech; it's a pretentious affectation that makes you sound like you're desperately trying to impress someone with your faux erudition. Using "perchance" in casual conversation is like wearing a powdered wig to a job interview—it’s laughably inappropriate and makes people wonder if you've ever interacted with human beings outside of a dusty old library. So, unless you're reciting soliloquies on a stage or penning flowery love letters with a quill, I suggest you stick to words that won't make people want to roll their eyes so hard they risk getting stuck looking at their own brain! 

        Tragedy of Helldiver Reynold The Bold

          Based on the original ‘Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise‘ which was an iconic scene from Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith.

          Did you ever hear the tragedy of Helldiver Reynold The Bold? I thought not. It’s not a story the Skull Admiral would tell you. It’s a Helldiver legend. Helldiver Reynold was a super citizen turned automaton sympathizer, so powerful and so experienced he could use the 500KG bomb to destroy Fabricators and Bug nest. He had such influence on the citizens of super earth he could recruit so many Helldivers that democracy would always prevail. Communism is a pathway to many anti-democratic thoughts some consider to be unnatural. He became so sympathetic… the only thing he was afraid of was losing an automaton planet, which eventually, of course, the scrap did. Unfortunately, he spread his ideologies to every helldiver he knew, then his robot enemies killed him in battle. Ironic. He could save robots from death but they killed him in the end. 

          Hey girl, are you the skibidi toilet?

            Hey girl, are you the skibidi toilet? Because I definitely ohio rizz see the two of us skibbing out our gyats under the bussin moon. We could both clout chase together, kai cenat style. I'll rizz you up and compliment your drip any time of the lit af day. I'll interrupt my mewing streak for you bbg. I'll be your simp or your sigma, I'll always pass the vibe check when it comes to getting you on fleek. I'll make our lore so expansive that you'll need matpat to make a game theory on it, And let me be clear, my love is no meme fr fr, It won't take an L after 3 days. So please girlboss, Let's slay together, Will you go out with me? 

            Wasteland just saved my life.

              A robber broke into my house with a loaded gun and aimed it at me.
              
              Luckily I just started a game of MW3, it was dom on Wasteland.
              
              He suddenly started watching me play ended up falling asleep.Thank god and thank you SHG for bringing back this certified banger