Its an infamous old copypasta about sexing the Flame Atronach from Oblivion. It originally came from an anonymous comment on a NSFW artwork of the Flame Atronach on R34 site back in 2012. The comment got reposted everywhere and eventually became a meme within the Elder Scrolls community.
The released of Oblivion Remastered has reignited its popularity.
I am going to have sex with this female Flame Atronach from Oblivion. I find the Flame Atronaches in The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion sexy. However, their body is made up of 87% fire, and 100% fire surrounds them. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with one. To remedy this, the Flame Atronach casts a spell on me making me resistant to fire. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points of damage each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, it just means I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with this Flame Atronach. I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with-especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure the Flame Atronach. The Flame Atronach and I go to the Planes of Oblivion to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat. The Planes of Oblivion is the Flame Atronach's natural habitat.
Original full version
Old atronach
I am going to have sex with this female Flame Atronach from Oblivion. I find the female Atronaches in The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion sexy. However, their body is made up of 87% fire, and 100% fire surrounds them. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with one. To remedy this, the Flame Atronach casts a spell on me making me resistant to fire. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points of damage each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, It just means that I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with this Flame Atronach, I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with, especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure the Flame Atronach.The Flame Atronach and I go to the Planes of Oblivion to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat.Before we went into the Planes of Oblivion, the Flame Atronach let all the Daedra know that we are just here for sex. The Daedra will not attack us because they know I am here at the Planes of Oblivion on sexual business. This includes the Dremora. However, the Dremora Marknyaz thinks that I am going to be an easy recruit for becoming a follower of Mehrunes Dagon considering that I am having sex with a Flame Atronach. However, I have no interest in becoming a Daedra.
New remastered atronach
I am going to have sex with this female Flame Atronach from Oblivion. I find the female Atronaches in The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion sexy. However, their body is made up of 87% fire, and 100% fire surrounds them. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with one. To remedy this, the Flame Atronach casts a spell on me making me resistant to fire. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points of damage each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, It just means that I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with this Flame Atronach, I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with, especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure the Flame Atronach.
The Flame Atronach and I go to the Planes of Oblivion to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat.
Before we went into the Planes of Oblivion, the Flame Atronach let all the Daedra know that we are just here for sex. The Daedra will not attack us because they know I am here at the Planes of Oblivion on sexual business. This includes the Dremora. However, the Dremora Marknyaz thinks that I am going to be an easy recruit for becoming a follower of Mehrunes Dagon considering that I am having sex with a Flame Atronach. However, I have no interest in becoming a Daedra.
Flame Atronach (Good ending)
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flame Atronach is objectively the most huggable Daedroth? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of cake, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm Mortal and Flame Cloak, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
Next year, I'd have been swinging Kbells for 20 years. Do I look cut? Am I an Adonis? Am I the physical equivalent of a Ferrari? No! I'm an old Volvo. Hit me and you'll bounce the f*uck off again. Muscles are vanity, strength is sanity. Breathe, move, lift, press...often. Be well all.
How to grind my junk (respectfully) on a ladies trunk?
So I go to raves solo fairly often, as I’m Pringle, but I like to get down and I shake my little ass all night. Ironically though I’m very shy and I give people a wide berth most times. However, every now and then a slick lil mama will sort of position herself near me, like right on me sort of egging me on, like her friends will be behind me and say “I know you want to(?) and when I just keep to myself she moves away and laughs with her friends about how I’m a pussy that wouldn’t go for it. So how can I make that leap? I don’t wanna be all “umm excuse me miss, you seem to be very near my penis” but I also don’t wanna be out here grabbing cat. So tell me, how can I be smooth with it?
Edit: For more context, last night was a dubstep show and at one point a pit opened up and one of the ladies that was kind of dancing on me from before picked me out from across the pit and full on tackled me! I thought “oh my goodness what are these feelings? Who is this person? I love you” and then the pit closed and she was gone :( what then, huh??
Edit edit: if girl from rave last night is reading this…flutters eyelashes blows kiss
Started from someone’s FB post about the sex scene between Mark and Eve in the finale of Invincible S3. The comment became a meme and fans has adapted it to various other characters in show.
When I saw this scene in the last episode of Invincible, I felt an envy I couldn't control… Seeing such a beautiful woman with that gaze, wanting to feel the whole being of someone like Mark, filled me with rage… I deserve someone like that too, someone who looks at me with those eyes and wants to give me all the love possible, just look… Just tell me you don't feel envy or something in this scene? I'm not criticizing Mark; he seems like a great guy, but I don't know, Eve deserves someone better, someone like me.
