I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!

I need to release my true feelings about Bunny Viper before my brain literally starts melting. Ever since this skin was added in the game, I’ve been flushing my sanity down the toilet piece by piece.

Every time I even think of Bunny Viper and her luscious features, I just can’t stop myself from barking and drooling uncontrollably like some kind of crazed dog. My brain just completely shuts off for the next 30 minutes and 47 seconds.

Everything about her is just perfection. Her sharp gleaming eyes, her soft puffy cheeks, her cheeks cheeks and cheeks, her moderately average sides hips, and her extra spicy leggings that tightly grip her juicy legs to really accentuate her curves to oblivion. And don’t even get me started on the (bra?) she wears with the bunny suit. ITS LITERALLY HYPNOTIC! Her manufactured mammary glands look like they’re so close to just spilling out, like she bought a suit 2 sized smaller than her on purpose. Plus her OG skin has the spicy skirt just BARELY covers her supple squishy thighs and doughy ass cheeks that are PERFECT for facesitting! The clap of her meaty mountains can be heard from every corner of the Ark! Now multiple all that by 3 and that’s MY MOMMA VIPER

And her forearms. Dear GOD DONT GET ME STARTED ON HER FOREARMS. WHEN I PLAYED D-OUTSIDERS EVENT AND HER FOREARMS WERE ZOOMED IN ON THE BED I LOST ALL MY SANITY INSTANTLY. Every time she extends her hand in the idle animation, I feel like Namatame reaching out to Shadow Yukiko in utter disbelief at such an awe-inspiring moment

I want her to corner me in an abandoned alleyway, duct tape me to the cold wet ground, and snu snu me to death while whispering slurs into my left ear every 12 and a half seconds

My body literally contorted and deformed the moment I laid eyes on her, and I haven’t forgotten that feeling ever since. I wake up every morning in my bedroom (filled to the brim with Viper fanart) with her voice echoing in my head “Good Morning, stupid! Time for a good morning facesitting!” EVERYTHING about Bunny Viper is just perfection from top to bottom

I had to force myself to stay off Twitter for days on end because I knew my mind would be filled to the brim with beautiful Bunny Viper art. I had to restrain myself because I knew it would end with my phone being drenched in slobber and drool. I can’t even begin to imagine how I’ll control myself if she ever shows up in my Recruits. Just yesterday I forgot to close my Reddit page and saw another Bunny Viper fanart and I literally couldn’t control myself. I immediately dropped my phone, got on all 4’s and began barking uncontrollably directly at a brick wall while drool was ejecting from all sides of my mouth and foam began to form and my eyes rolled to the back of my head in utter disbelief at the godly presence I just witnessed. I woke up 7 hours later in a puddle of my own drool, with my eyes red from the constant barking, and my phone was in Safari with 400 tabs of Viper fanart I don’t even remember scrolling through. I literally lost aL memory of what happened that day just from seeing a single Viper fanart

She’s a triple wide surprise. Every day I log onto Reddit I’m greeted with more fanart of her sticking her ass out farther than a Mexican truck driver with gingivitis can throw a 37-pound ball of frozen strawberry milk with only one arm. But that’s a topic for another day.

Wait, that’s today’s topic. Do you have any idea how many infinite possibilities Viper fanart can have?! Who said we should stop at simple poses? How about Viper failing to outrun a train due to her dumpy or being lectured about tax returns while her backside barely fits inside the chair?

Above all else, it’s her scary gleaming eyes that just ring my dinger. Gazing into her eyes for too long makes me feel hypnotized, like I’m being lured into her trap. And I certainly am. Viper is a red flag, but I’m colorblind. I feel like I’m in imminent danger every time I view her on the Nikkepedia. My mind is telling me no, but my body is saying yes.

Please tell me I’m not the only one that feels this way for Viper. She’s just so cute, hot, breedable, breedable, and breedable all at once. I hope her cheeks are super fat in the next update, and I hope she calls me every slur in the English language during the next event. But anyway, that’s it for now. Just a small explanation of why Viper is best girl