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Valorant

Archive of all Valorant related copypasta including of pro players, gaming organizations, Riot’s circle jerk, Valorant metas and Twitch chat to troll fans.

I am sick of Jett

    Parody of the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Jett from Valorant due to her popularity.

    I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Jett. I try to play Reyna, my Jett deals more damage. I try to play Pheonix, my Jett deals more damage. I try to play Neon, my Jett has better movement. I want to play Yoru, my team tells me to play Jett. Riot tried to nerf her, but she is still meta. I want to play a normal match, I get sniped by an enemy Jett. She grabs me by the throat. I instalock her. I grind for her. I buy her a Vandal. She isn't satisfied. I buy an Operator. "I need more skins", she tells me. "Buy me Kunai and Operator skins." She grabs all ult orbs and force me to snipe long. "You just need better aim. I can deal more damage with cooler skins." I can't buy skins. I don't have enough Valorant Points. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs her Kunai. She says "Get out of my way!" There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but pure 100% accuracy even when moving. What a cruel world

    Guys can you please not spam the chat

      Guys can you please not spam the chat. My mom bought me this new laptop and it gets really hot when the chat is being spamed. Now my leg is starting to hurt because it is getting so hot. Please, if you don’t want me to get burned, then dont spam the chat.

      Yashwatthama “yay” Yadav

        Part of a series of copypasta featuring a pro Valorant players with fictional biography of ridiculous background from Asia.

        Yashwatthama "yay" Yadav is an Indian professional Valorant player for NV, an American electrical sports ( e-sports) organisation. He is also known as El Diablo aka the demon because of his mafia connections in his hometown, Haryana.

        QcK = Qiangjiang Cultivation Kingdom

          Gabriel “QcK” Lima is a Brazilian pro Valorant player who is playing for LOUD.

          Qiangjiang Cultivation Kingdom (qck) is a Chinese agricultural collective located in the south-central Hubei Province. QCK is known for its extreme success in cultivating frost peas XL (FPX) and the pride of the Chinese agricultural industry, Elegant Dragon gourds (EDG), particularly in the early growing season. Unfortunately, qck's previous success was stunted by two consecutive waves of plant diseases. Its third crop was decimated by a bout of stunted enation necrosis (SEN), while its fourth crop was infected by Powdery Rust Xanthomas (PRX).

Investors are concerned about qck's long-term financial viability and its ability to recoup the loss of the region's previous star crop, Aspasragus.
          Qiangjiang Cultivation Kingdom (qck) is a Chinese agricultural collective located in the south-central Hubei Province. QCK is known for its extreme success in cultivating frost peas XL (FPX) and the pride of the Chinese agricultural industry, Elegant Dragon gourds (EDG), particularly in the early growing season. Unfortunately, qck's previous success was stunted by two consecutive waves of plant diseases. Its third crop was decimated by a bout of stunted enation necrosis (SEN), while its fourth crop was infected by Powdery Rust Xanthomas (PRX). Such bad luck has only continued into the current harvest split.

The loss of the region's previous star crop, Aspasragus, has proven disastrous for qck and its larger shipping conglomerate, Liaoyang Overseas Urban Docking (LOUD). Shanghai investors have started withdrawing their support, reallocating it to other regional investment instruments, including Korean Retail Units (KRU).

          Lets see your trophies. 3rd grade player Genghsta. And Steel you are a professional thrower.

            Lets see your trophies. 3rd grade player Genghsta. And Steel you are a professional thrower. Your whole career in CS you are known because of your throwing scandal and what have you done in Valorant except for bitching everytime. Go get a life.

            Vanguard Invasive Anticheat

              I’m sorry to hear that you uninstalled [Good Game] because of the [Invasive Spyware] requirement. I understand your concern about spyware, but I can assure you that [Invasive Spyware] is not spyware. It is a custom "game security" software designed by [Marketing Company Majority Owned by the CCP] to uphold the highest levels of competitive integrity for their games, such as [Good Game] and [Other Game]. [Invasive Spyware] only runs [24/7] and [Continues] running when you exit the game2. It also [Questionably] respects your privacy and data, and you can find more details about what data it uses and collects here1. [No Link]

[Invasive Spyware] is necessary to prevent [Largely Unseen Problem] in [Good Game], especially after the security breach in [Random Date]. It also ensures that all players have a fair and enjoyable gaming experience [By installing Invasive Spyware]. If you want to play [Good Game] again, you will need to enable [Invasive Spyware] on your computer. You can find more information on how to do that here3.[No Link] If you have any issues or questions, you can contact [Marketing Company Majority Owned by the CCP's] support team here1.[No Link]

I hope this helps you understand why [Invasive Spyware] is required for [Good Game]. I appreciate your feedback and I hope you have a great day.