Archive of all Valorant related copypasta including of pro players, gaming organizations, Riot’s circle jerk, Valorant metas and Twitch chat to troll fans.
Ta Liek Xie Liek "tarik" is a Chinese Valorant content creator. He works part time at Enlai Guo Ltd. (EG) assembling bootleg Nike trainers. He is a very good citizen with a social credit score of over 9000. When he reaches 10000 social credit, the state will give him permission to marry Po Kie Ma and form a family.
Additional info for our play against [team]
[player a] got fever
[player a] left mousepad
[player b] lost whole gears
[player c] sound issue in the match(no foot step at all)
[player c] keyboard bug
We were in chaosSEN Shahzam: Additional info on play against BBG (best team in the world)
Zombs got fever
Zombs left mousepad
Dapr lost whole gears
TenZ sound issues in the match (no foot step at all)
TenZ keyboard bug
We were in chaos.
clock winds down to 5 seconds left in round
Hiko plants the bomb and turns to look at Laz
"You took my family"
moves to the left
"You took my friends"
moves to the right
"You took all that was dear to me"
bomb timer keeps ticking
"I cant get them back, but I can do this for friendship, FOR MY FRIENDS"
Hiko fires two shock darts straight at Laz
"HIIKORUKEN"
The shock darts kill Laz instantly. Hiko falls to the ground, exhausted.
"Nitr0.. Senpai... I..."
faints
Final Score
Zeta Division 13
100T 1“They got me,” (Insert player) said of FNATIC winning São Paulo. "Those f***ing FNATIC boomed me." (Player) added, “They're so good,” repeating it four times. (Player) then said he wanted to add EU to the list of regions he wants to bootcamp in this summer.“They got me,” (Insert player) said of Sentinels winning Berlin. "Those f***ing Sentinels boomed me." (Player) added, “They're so good,” repeating it four times. (Player) then said he wanted to add NA to the list of regions he wants to bootcamp in this summer.Overheard in Cavs locker room after Game 7:
“He got me,” LeBron said of Tatum's dunk over him. "That f***ing Tatum boomed me."
LeBron added, “He’s so good,” repeating it four times.
LeBron then said he wanted to add Tatum to the list of players he works out with this summer.
Shahzam on NA being the dominant region: "We don't compare ourselves with other regions." Then he rolled up his sleeve and showed a tattoo of Tenz. "I'll let you interpret that however you want," Shahz said.
That's it. That seals the deal. I am no longer a Sentinels fan. This team is a pure and utter embarrassment. I officially will not be renewing my Tier 3 Tenz Twitch sub nor my Tier 3 Shahzam sub. I'm going to the 100 thieves where they know how to run a team.