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Copypasta of popular quotes, lines or transcripts seen in movies, anime, videos or Tiktok videos. Include 19$ Fortnite card and entire Bee movie script.

Emperor Palpatine statement after Mon Mothma’s speech

    Its satire on how Palpatine would have responded to Mon Mothma speech in the Senate exposing him but with Trump’s style. The iconic scene was from Andor S2E9.

    Wow. Just heard the FAKE NEWS coming out of the Senate. AGAIN. Here we go — another pathetic, desperate attack from RADICAL LEFT LUNATIC Mon Mothma (Total Disaster, everyone knows it — even my boss - I mean, Jar Jar’s smarter, and that’s saying something!).
    
    She’s out there CRYING on the Senate floor (SO SAD!) talking about a “Massacre” on Ghorman. Folks, let me tell you: THERE. WAS. NO. MASSACRE. It’s all FAKE HOLO. The Ghor People LOVE ME — they were CHEERING, throwing flowers, saluting the Troopers. It was a PEACEFUL PROTEST. A BEAUTIFUL PROTEST. Some even said it was the most PERFECT use of a plaza in the history of the Galaxy — maybe ever!
    
    This whole thing? A HOAX. A TOTAL HOAX. Made up by PATHETIC LOSERS who miss the old days under Chancellor Valorum — weak, boring, couldn't lead a podrace if his life depended on it. Under his administration, the Trade Federation was BLOCKADING ENTIRE PLANETS. Remember Naboo? TOTAL DISASTER. That would NEVER have happened under ME.
    
    Now these WOKE SENATORS — low-IQ, low-energy people — are trying to CANCEL the Empire. They want to DEFUND the Stormtroopers, Open the Borders to illegal ALIENS, and let the REBELS teach your Children that the Force has more than two Sides. IT’S DISGUSTING.
    
    And Mon Mothma? She’s a FRAUD. She supported Valorum’s Policies, she HATES the Troops, and frankly — and People agree with me on this — she’s a very NASTY woman. She’s never done ANYTHING for the Galaxy except Talk, Talk, Talk. NO ACTION. Just WORDS. BAD WORDS. TREASONOUS WORDS.
    
    Meanwhile under ME — your STRONG, HANDSOME EMPEROR — the Galaxy has NEVER BEEN BETTER. The Death Star is AHEAD OF SCHEDULE. Crime is DOWN. Jobs are UP. Jedi are GONE. And Morale is through the Roof — I had a Meeting with Darth Vader, and he told me, “My Lord, this is the most SUCCESSFUL GALAXY we’ve ever had.” NOT KIDDING.
    
    SO TO ALL THE HATERS AND LOSERS: STOP LYING. STOP WHINING. THE EMPIRE IS DOING AMAZING. WE’RE WINNING AGAIN.
    
    MAKE THE GALAXY GREAT AGAIN.
    
    Mine sincerely, Emperor Sheev Palpatine

    People saw this and voted for this twice, it’s so unreal.

    Look, having dark side -- my uncle was a great lord of the Sith so powerful and so wise, Darth Plagueis 'The Wise' of CIS; good midichlorians, very good midichlorians, OK, very wise, the Naboo School of Finance, very powerful, very wise - if you're a Sith Lord, if I were a Jedi Master, if, like OK, if I ran as a Jedi Master, they would say I am one of the wisest people in the galaxy - It's true! - but when you are a Sith Lord they try - oh, it's not a story the Jedi would tell you - that's why I always start off: went to Naboo, was a good senator, went there, went there, did this, built an Empire - you know I have to give my credentials all the time, because we are a little scarred and deformed - but you look at the dark side, the thing that really bothers me - it would have been so easy, and it's not as important as these lives of the ones he cared about are - The dark side is powerful, some consider it to be unnatural; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power, and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right, who could have foreseen? - but when you look at what's going on with the two Sith - now it used to be one, now there are two of them, this is getting out of hand - and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven't figured out that the women and the children too are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it's gonna take them another millennia - but the Jedi are great negotiators, his apprentice was a great negotiator, so, and they, they just killed us, they just killed us in our sleep. 

    Full Mon Mothma Speech Transcript (Ep. 9)

    Fellow Senators, friends, colleagues, allies, adversaries. I stand before you this morning with a heavy heart. I’ve spent my life in this chamber. I came here as a child. And as I look around now, I realize I have almost no memories that pre-date my arrival and few bonds of affection that cleave so tightly. Through these many years, I believe I have served my constituents honorably and upheld our code of conduct. This chamber is a cauldron of opinions and we’ve certainly all had our patience and tempers tested in pursuit of our ideals. Disagree as we might, I am hopeful that those of you who know me will vouch for my credibility in the days to come. I stand this morning with a difficult message. I believe we are in crisis. The distance between what is said and what is known to be true has become an abyss. Of all the things at risk, the loss of an objective reality is perhaps the most dangerous. The death of truth is the ultimate victory of evil. When truth leaves us, when we let it slip away, when it is ripped from our hands, we become vulnerable to the appetite of whatever monster screams the loudest. This Chamber’s hold on the truth was finally lost on the Ghorman Plaza. What took place yesterday… what happened yesterday on Ghorman was unprovoked genocide! Yes! Genocide! And that truth has been exiled from this chamber! And the monster screaming the loudest? The monster we’ve helped create? The monster who will come for us all soon enough is Emperor Palpatine! 

    Water Is NOT Wet

      From a video by Chaz Smith where he argues that water cannot be wet since being that implies it can also be dry.

      This is the copypasta that’s gonna end the water is wet debate, once and for all. My answer? WATER’S NOT WET! And I’ll tell you why. To say that something is wet means that the water on the surface of that something can be removed. You get caught outside in the rain, you say “Aw, my hair got wet, now I gotta get it redid.” “Aw, my shoes got wet, now I gotta let’em sit outside, and dry.” You don’t say, that the ocean gets wet, it’s just water, water is water. Fire, right? We know that it burns things right? But it’s not in and of itself burned, right? Water, it wets things but it’s not in and of itself wet. Okay? The word wet is only supposed to be used when water gets on something. For example if I were to splash water on this mirror right here and say it’s wet, but if it were somehow possible to splash water droplets onto water, well you could see the water droplets sitting on the water, you’d say “Oh that water is wet!” But the term wet is an adjective that is only conditional, that’s used to describe the surface of something that is typically dry. Ladies and gentlemen, here’s the simple proof test: This counter is dry, I pour water on it, it becomes wet. Can it be dried? Absolutely. Therefore was wet it is now dry. The water on the inside of the bottle, however. Can it be dried? Absolutely the frick not! Ending clause: The definition of wet reads “Covered or saturated with water or another liquid”. Water cannot be covered or saturated with itself. Thank you. 

      Gilfoyle answers what do you do in the company?

        Gilfoyle from Silicon Valley

        Its a famous scene from the show Silicon Valley where Gilfoye was asked by Jared on what he does in the company. The copypasta answer then ensues.

        System architecture. Networking and security. No one in this house can touch me on that.
        
        But does anyone appreciate that? While you were busy minoring in gender studies and singing a capella at Sarah Lawrence, I was gaining root access to NSA servers. I was one click away from starting a second Iranian revolution… I prevent cross-site scripting, I monitor for DDoS attacks, emergency database rollbacks, and faulty transaction handlings. The Internet heard of it? Transfers half a petabyte of data every minute. Do you have any idea how that happens? All those YouPorn ones and zeroes streaming directly to your shitty, little smart phone day after day? Every dipshit who shits his pants if he can't get the new dubstep Skrillex remix in under 12 seconds? It's not magic, it's talent and sweat. People like me, ensuring your packets get delivered, un-sniffed. So what do I do? I make sure that one bad config on one key component doesn't bankrupt the entire fucking company. That's what the fuck I do.
        That's basically what I told him.

        Face McShooty – SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! IN THE FAAAAAAAACE!

          Face McShooty quotes

          Its a quote from Face McShooty in Borderlands 2 who gives players a side-quest of shooting him in the face. Yes it’s that simple and he was literally begging you for it.

          SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! IN THE FAAAAAAAACE! DO IT! SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! FACE FACEFACEFACEFACE! NOW! BULLETS IN THE FACE! WANT EM! NEED EM! GIMMEGIMMEGIMME! AT THE SOUND OF THE BELL IT WILL BE FACESHOOTING O'CLOCK! BONGGGGG! KNOCK KNOCK WHO'S THERE SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! END OF JOKE! I'M GONNA SING A SONG! SHOOT ME AT THE END OF IT! DA DA DA DA DA DA DA! BONG!! ...I NOTICE YOU HAVEN'T SHOT ME IN THE FACE! CURIOUS AS TO WHY! Maybe you're weighing the moral pros and cons but let me assure you that OH MY GOD SHOOT ME IN THE GODDAMNED FACE!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?!
          IN THE FACE! NOT SO COMPLEX! NEED IT! WANT IT NEED IT HAVE TO HAVE IT! FACESHOT! BOOM! BRAINS EVERYWHERE! Not the KNEE, not the ARM, not the SPINE - FACE! IT HAS TO HAPPEN! HNNNNG! FACEY FACEY FACE FACE! TIRED OF WAITING! NO MORE WAITING! NEED A FACE SHOT! BOOM! SQUISH! YAY!

          AKIRA – Kaneda’s Theme video description

            Its an unhinged video description for ‘AKIRA – Kaneda’s Theme‘ on Youtube that shows the uploader descent into madness after getting screwed over YT’s copyright system.

            I bought the DVD back in 2018 and got the idea to edit some of the OST in the film a short Music Video. 
            Copied the file and edited it on my FREE Da Vinci Resolve 16 Editing Software.
            I really don't fucking care if I got demonetized, really, I'm not even here to make money, 
            This is my second channel anyway so go ahead claim my fucking video,
            Make money off of this or whatever the fuck you usually do to even ORIGINAL content creators, 
            Just don't fucking remove this video from your half-asses copyright detector bullshit. 
            Like it's a 1988 Film it's just ridiculous, 
            Even the Romeo and Juliet copycats play that was initially made in the 1500s  could get their own copyright. 
            How the fuck can't I get a Fair-Use excuse?
            Anyway, personally, I don't believe this shit really gets brought up in the US Courts I mean come on, 
            I'm halfway across the fucking continent. What the fuck are you going to do if it were somehow proven to violate the copyright law? 
            Delete my channel? I could get another one. 
            Send US Marines across the ocean just to imprison a fucking boy who just uploaded a fucking video on youtube? 
            Get a grip on yourselves you fucking clowns. 
            I REALLY, don't need to provide my "Rationale" excuses for your bitch-ass conglomerate sissies, 
            In fact, it should be you whom I should question your rationality. Are you really going to remove this fucking video? 
            Less than 5 minutes Music Video with no bloody fucking view made by yet another insignificant person in your whole fucking Scamming Empire? 
            Think about it will you? and uhh, while you're at it
            I must go to take care of some BUSINESS, 
            Because unlike YOU what so-called HUMAN who claimed to have a full-time JOB, 
            My profession actually provides a REAL impact on the society of which you live in, 
            Of which people that served you on the McDonald Drive Thru,
            Of which people that sent your package you bought online,
            And of which of those people that working their asses off during this Global-Fucking-Pandemic. 
            So here's my conclusion in case you have a short attention span,
            (Assuming you have one to begin with. [which is very fucking unlikely.])
            FUCK YOU, Yeah? FUCK YOU. And your fucking Copyright System, Policies, your MONEY-MAKER PUPPETS those called themselves "CREATORS" 
            With their Perfectly-Crafted-Informative-Totally-Not-A-Clickbait Videos that YOU COUSIN-FUCKERS put your AD on.
            (So you can make money off of that Hell-Hot Fucking GARBAGE, ain't you sneaky BASTARDS.)
            FUCK YOU. Your whole, FUCKING, Empire. Fuck. you.