Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
I accidentally fucked my own ass with my big fat cock, does that make me gay? I was just taking a shower and slipped on my anal beads, my dick went right up my ass. As I was struggling to get it out I fell on my phone that was playing the gay porn I was watching, No homo, And my fat ass cracked the screen. And now i'm just sitting here questioning if i'm now gay.Tits. Ass. Pussy. Feet.
Long ago, the four kinks lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Feet Kink attacked.
Only the horny, master of all four kinks, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished.
A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new horny, an Ass Eater named Ricardo, and although his ass is great, he still has a lot to learn before he's ready to fuck anyone.
But I believe Ricardo can save sex.Well, I was shopping in Walmart the other day, (with the intent of buying all of their guns, bacon and American flags) when I spotted a Mooslem running frantically up and down through the aisles, and his name was Abdul-Mohammed-Jamal-Jabar-Steve-Jabar-Omar-Abdul. I was certain at any moment he would yell 'Allah Akbar'. Thankfully, my shopping cart was full of bacon (which as you all know, is Mooslem kryptonite). So I straightened my MAGA hat and pulled up my Confederate flag britches and grabbed a pack of bacon from my cart. I took that Mooslem over my knee and spanked his ass with the bacon while screaming 'Liberalism is a mental disorder!' over and over. Then, by the power of the bacon, Abdul-Mohammed-Jamal-Jabar-Steve-Jabar-Omar-Abdul instantly converted to Christianity and registered as a Republican. Trump showed up and awarded me the Medal of Honor because I probably stopped the next 9/11.I saw Donald Trump at a grocery store in D.C yesterday.
I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
After paying for the Milky Ways he proceeded to leave the store and throw all of them in the garbage. Haven't seen him since.Fucking gunshots interrupted my masturbation.
So there I was. Under my bedsheets comfortable and I had some 3.9 star hentai on and then suddenly, I just hear 6 shots.
Now, at first I just thought they were fireworks because its nearing the fourth of July. So I just kept on wanking but as soon as I was near the end if my session, I hear 3 more REALLY loud shots causing my erection to dissapear.
Now, at this point I was just pissed off because some random guy just happened to launch fireworks mid-nut. So I look out my window and see some dude runnin with a gun in his hand and another man running away from him.
Needless to say, I noped my ass back to bed and am trying to get another erection.
TLDR; Fucking guns ruined my hentai“Aha, Bartholemew, I had no idea you were so strong,” Pokimane teases, rubbing your bicep. You blush, and nervously smirk. “Well, what can I say? I’m just such a gym-head.” She laughs, offering a tantalizing look, her cerulean eyes contrasting sharply with the dim lighting of the largest bedroom in your mansion. “Well, I’ve always liked a real man,” she replies with a seductive smugness tinted with a sarcastic edge. It was as if she was saying: “God, I know I shouldn’t go through with this...but my body disagrees. Goddammit, Imane...” You start stroking her hips vertically, the tension now so palpable you could cut it with your abs. You near her ears and lick your lips. “You know what I like most about you, Ms. Anys?” Her heart rate surges, and her knees immediately tremble. She loved when you called her that: it gave her this sense of power-a sense of power she desperately wanted you to take from her. “Yeah, what is that Matthew?” she inquires shaking in pure delight, barely able to form a sentence. You grip her hips with your manly hands. She’s desperate to disguise her true feelings, but you both know that deep down, she’s undergoing nothing but pure euphoria. Every inch of her body is willing to give in to you, no matter how much she wants to hide it with her above-it-all pompoussness. “I like that you’re such a risk-taker,” you finish with a sensual peck on her hear. Oh my God. “I can’t do this to Hasan,” Poki’s conscious desperately tries to convince her-but a woman’s urges are a woman’s urges. And these urges are far more powerful than any sense of moral righteousness that she may desire. You start scratching at the jeans wrapped tightly wrapped around her thick, voluptuous right thigh. “This is happening, right here, right now!” you order, as your other hand starts unbuttoning her top without resistance. “Oh y-yes, daddy!” she responds, with a girlish stutter. “Yeah, something’s starting alright!” you hear a booming Turkish voice respond. Before you can turn your head, Hasan Piker beats the shit out of you, picks up Poki, and then spits on you. “Oh my God, Hasan, I’m so sorry!” He smirks. “Don’t worry about it, baby,” he said. “But I’m surprised you almost went through it-that guy was a fucking libertarian.” She couldn’t believe it. Oh my God, seriously?” she replies with disgust. “Yeah, and you know what we do to lib-“ before he could finish Pokimane drags your unconscious body to her front yard and runs you over with her ford carrola. “So much for the tolerant left,” you think, before it all blacks out.