Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
I know that this post seems completely ridiculous, and trust me when I say that I think the same. I'm at my wits end here.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year. I'm a casual gamer (I play just a few hours a week) while he's much more invested. He dropped out of college, and when he's not working at his part-time job, he's playing video games. This usually doesn't bother me, as he often invites me to play with him. He's a good boyfriend in every other way, and always manages to make time for me despite his gaming "addiction".
My boyfriend is about 50 pounds overweight, and I'm sure this can at least partially be chalked up to his lack of a healthy diet. He rarely eats anything actually healthy, and while the two of us have tried to go on a diet together, he quit after about a month in, and gained back the five pounds that he lost within two weeks. He very rarely drinks water, and usually prefers soda or Redbull. Needless to say, he's really unhealthy.
Recently, one of his online friends mentioned something called "gamer juice", and my boyfriend asked me to make it for him. All it consists of is water and food coloring, and I assumed that he was just memeing, so I figured "why not". I made him the water, and to my surprise, he actually drank it.
The next day, I tried to give him some actual water, and he completely refused to drink it. I feel like I should at least be trying to get him to drink some water, because it's incredibly unhealthy that he never drinks any, but I think it's totally ridiculous that I have to do this for him. It seems childish, and while I chalked the first few times up to a joke, it's pretty clear that he's serious about this. He doesn't want water; he wants gamer juice.
So, Reddit; what do I do here? Do I keep giving in to his gamer juice demands, or do I be honest about how insane this whole thing is? Help me!
I attended PragerU back in 2015 on a wrestling scholarship. That is until they shut down the wrestling program because the coaches kept banging all the kids. But hey that happens everywhere that's not just a PragerU thing. Unfortunately it also meant I was stuck taking normal classes and trying to keep my GPA up WITHOUT being a star athlete. And man those classes were so weird. My Civics teacher kept showing me cartoon frogs and complaining about freedom of speech anytime a student asked him to put his dick away. I took a film studies class but every week my libertarian teacher just played Fight Club and tried to explain why cryptocurrency is safer than the stock market. I still remember my first kiss in the quad of PragerU, right under the 80 foot tall statue of Jordan Peterson. One time I aced a test just by writing "I don't like big government" for every answer. My favorite memory has to be when we held a big anti-taxation rally that got so out of hand they had to call in the national guard, which did end the rally but only because the entire student body was also in the national guard. They say your college years are how you shape the rest of your life. After my time at PragerU, I'd have to say the rest of my life is shaped like Ronald Reagan's dangling, flaccid penis as he wanders the hall of the White House in confusion, talking to paintings and leaving a trail of piss wherever he goes until he can be wrangled back into his chair and forced to sign whatever bill puts more black people in prison. Thank you PragerU, and remember the "U" stands for Uruguay offshore accounts, so good luck following that money you bitch ass feds
Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
I was looking for minecraft mods when I found a mod that says "Hot Minecraft sex mod". I didnt want to install it because I live in a Christian household who would disapprove of it. However my curiosity got the best of me and I downloaded it anyway. When I logged in and started a new world this naked minecraft girl with big tits was walking up to me. I didnt want it to happen, but it did. My thot senses were off the charts as she tackled and fucked me. I looked up and around my screen to make sure nobody was watching. I turned around and looked at the man who was behind me. I was expecting the FBI to be all over me because of what I was doing, but it wasnt. It was Mark Zuckerberg who was watching me. He looked at me and said "playing with a minecraft sex mod eh? That's gonna be worth a lot when I sell your data without consent." I pleaded and begged him not to sell my data but he kept saying that he would make big loads of cash. The next day I opened my computer and all I saw were minecraft tiddy mods. As if anything couldnt get any worse, someone walked in on me and I tried to explain to them I got hacked but they didnt believe me and now I'm in big trouble.
I’ve been a part of the fandom for years now, so I’m used to hate online, but it’s gotten to the point where it has become unbearable. I own a popular TikTok account where I post furry art, and I have been repeatedly told to kill myself by trolls on the app. Recently, I’ve even faced harassment in real life. This last weekend, I was at the park with some friends roleplaying. I was wearing my German Shepard dog fur suit and roleplaying as a puppy, playing fetch with my friends and chasing the other dogs. Soon, a woman came to our group and began verbally harassing us. I was extremely scared, so I apologized to her. She returned to her bench but continued to watch us from afar. After she saw me lift my leg and urinate in a bush, she called the police. An officer responded to the call and I was issued an ordinance violation. I’m still extremely shaken from the experience and I feel like I was targeted for being a furry. I just don’t understand why furries are treated so much worse than members of other fandoms.
Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything—I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.
Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man, too—big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn't seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is.
Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my cock? Did I look gay to him? Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? I don't recall the phrase, "Suck my cock" entering the conversation, and I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock."
I've got nothing against homosexuals. Let them be free to do their gay thing in peace, I say. But when they start sucking my cock, I've got a real problem.
Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a rugged-looking, blond-haired man in his early 30s. He seemed straight enough to me while we were bathing in that mountain stream, but, before you know it, he's sucking my cock!
What is it with these homos? Can't they control their sexual urges? Aren't there enough gay cocks out there for them to suck on without them having to target normal people like me?
Believe me, I have no interest in getting my cock sucked by some queer. But try telling that to the guy at the beach club. Or the one at the video store. Or the one who catered my wedding. Or any of the countless other homos who've come on to me recently. All of them sucked my cock, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.
I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots?
It screws with your head at other times, too. Every time a man passes me on the street, I'm afraid he's going to grab me and drag me off to some bathroom to suck my cock. I've even started to visualize these repulsive cock-sucking episodes during the healthy, heterosexual marital relations I enjoy with my wife—even some that haven't actually happened, like the sweaty, post-game locker-room tryst with Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier that I can't seem to stop thinking about.
Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be women trying to suck my cock, which would be adultery and would make me feel tremendously guilty. As it is, I'm just angry and sickened. But, believe me, that's enough. I don't know what makes these homosexuals mistake me for a guy who wants his cock sucked, and, frankly, I don't want to know. I just wish there were some way to get them to stop.
I've tried all sorts of things, but it's all been to no avail. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather thong with menacing metal studs in the hopes that it would frighten those faggots off, but it didn't work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, slapping them around whenever they were sucking my cock, but that failed, too. Even pulling out of their mouths just before ejaculation and shooting sperm all over their face, chest, and hair seemed to have no effect. What do I have to do to get the message across to these swishes?
I swear, if these homosexuals don't take a hint and quit sucking my cock all the time, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures—like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful forearms and working my cock all the way up their butt so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I mean, you can't get much more direct than that.
