Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
My school just banned relationships because “they are wrong”. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Sure they have caused some problems here like last week students were caught in the middle of the act during lunch break. A bit weird to do that in school but ok whatever. This week my school found out that one of the teachers was having a relationship with one of the students. I get that, that is wrong but why the hell are you banning me from dating students? I have only dated one girl before but when you ask her she denies it and prefers to call it “harassment” or some shit like that.
I wish I could go to a public school, homeschool sucks
I can remember it clearly, one month ago, Stacy told me that if I do the Fortnite default dance in front of her and her friends (including Chad) that she would go to prom with me the following night. I knew this was my chance, I studied, harder than ever before, not just the Fortnite default dance but all the Fortnite dances, and it didn't end there, I studied so hard I become a dancing master. Grand Jete? a breeze. En Pointe? child's play. Foutte? you better believe I can do that with perfect precision and flair. The day of my performance came, and I had no nerves. I was ready. I danced that dance harder than any dancer ever could, and when I finished, arms crossed and looking straight into her lovely eyes all I saw was deceit. She tricked me. Everyone was looking at me. Judging me. Laughing at me. I ran, yeah, but tomorrow, on the night of the prom they will see. They will see judgement like they've never seen before. Dad gave me this knife for a reason, and although he never told me why, now I know. I will enact my vengeance. I will achieve the Epic Victory Royale my bloodline has yearned for. Games, rise up!
I was only 16 years old. I loved communism so much, I had all the treatises and propaganda posters. I prayed to Marx every night to thank him for the dialectical materialism I had been given. "Workers of the world unite," I said, "you have nothing to lose but your chains." My boss hears me, and calls me a tankie. I knew he was jealous of my commitment to the revolution. I called him a reactionary fascist. He slaps me and sends me to work for a wage. I'm crying now, and I'm alienated from my labor. I lay in my bed, and I'm poor. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Karl Marx. I am so happy. He whispers in my ear, "Let the ruling classes tremble at a communist revolution." He grabs me with his powerful hands and places me on my knees. I am ready. I organize a labor union for Karl Marx. He throws reactionaries into the gulag. It hurts so much, but I do it for Marx. I take up arms against the bourgeoisie. I want to contribute to the revolution. He roars a mighty roar as he fills my life with class consciousness. My boss walks in. Karl looks him straight in the eye and says, "From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs." Marx leaves through the window. Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains.
Last month, my sister came home to visit for the holidays. It’s been just me and my parents at the house since August- this was her first semester away at college, so having her back home was nice. We drank eggnog, made a fire in the fireplace, and shared laughs around the Christmas tree. It was really a magical holiday season.
My sister is hot as fuck. Her and I have always had a little bit of sexual tension- maybe it was just in my head, but growing up we were always super competitive and used to butt heads over all kinds of stuff, and I always felt like we were just one provocative comment away from something happening.
A few days ago, my mom and dad left the house for a few hours to go visit some family friends- my sister and I stayed home and my parents said they would be back later that night. So it was just me and my sister, alone, all day, in our PJs, hanging out and bantering like we do. She was wearing a loose t-shirt, pajama pants, and these little fluffy Christmas socks our mom had bought her, and she invited me to put together a puzzle with her in the living room. I was horny as fuck and I knew it was now or never, so I decided it was finally time to put the moves on my sister- but first, I knew she had to be convinced that incest was morally permissible. I smiled, knowing that with the supreme arguments of my favorite streamer Destiny on my side, I would be unstoppable.
I asked her if she minded if I put on a video in the background, and she said sure. So I started to look up the Destiny incest debate on the living room TV. “Incest debate...?” She looked at me quizzically. “Ha ha, y-yeah, it’s a pretty good example of why our... um... moral intuitions often like, don’t stand up to ethical scrutiny,” I stammered, wiping the sweat from my brow, quickly trying to type in Destiny’s name in the search bar and hit enter. I started playing the video as she dumped the puzzle out of the box and we started to piece it together. Being alone with my sister was already making me rock hard, but with Destiny on the TV, his lighting fast voice already owning the stupid normie who dared to debate him, I was nearly about to fire off a splooge harpoon in my pants. We put the puzzle together without talking, only listening to the video. As it went on, her look changed from surprised, to confused, to flustered. I could tell she was really absorbing it. She was staring at a puzzle piece in her hand, rotating it around between her fingers, when she finally broke the silence. “So... what is with this Destiny guy?” she asked, not looking away from the puzzle piece. “Why is he trying to argue in defense of incest? Isn’t that kinda fucked up? I mean,” she shot a glance at me, then returned to analyzing the puzzle piece in her hands. “Incest is wrong,” she finished. It sounded like she was trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to convince me. I cleared my throat. “Well,” I started, “it’s actually very difficult to formulate a sound ethical argument against incest itself. You can make tangential arguments against the morality of possible side effects that incest may have, but these arguments have nothing to do with the incestuous act itself being wrong.” Yes, I thought to myself. A solid and concise argument. Destiny would be proud. And that’s all it took- my sister and I locked eyes for a moment, then she lunged for me and started making out with me, hard. “Anon,” she said in between gasps, “I’ve wanted to fuck you since I was in high school.” She started tearing my shirt off of me. “The only thing stopping me was that I thought it violated my axiomatic moral framework. After watching this Destiny video, I realize it doesn’t.” “Really??” I asked her. This was all happening so fast, I didn’t have time to process it. “He’s right,” she continued frantically, sliding my pants down around my ankles. “With the vast majority of axioms people base their moral systems on, incest does not actually violate any of them. Any unintended consequences that come from incest are not actually inherent to the act of incest itself, and can all be avoided with the proper precautions!” she exclaimed. With that, she started going down on me, and I leaned back and smiled up at the still-playing Destiny video, knowing I owed this all to my hero, Steven Kenneth Bonnell II. I knew all along that having the ins and outs of his arguments memorized would one day result in me having real-life intercourse with my sister. That day, I had the best sex of my life. The best part is, no one ever found out, she didn’t get pregnant, and it didn’t tear our nuclear family apart. No unintended moral consequences- just pure, sweet incest.
Thank you, Destiny. And thank you d.gg community for always being there for me. I owe this to all of you.
Ok, if you didn’t know this I should probably tell you. I am uncircumcised, and with me still having my foreskin it feels better to yank my hog. So I have a little routine of jacking off everyday around 11 pm at night. It was around 9:45 pm when I was feeling a little Horny. I was on Nikocado Avocado’s OnlyFans and I must say, it got the better of me. So I just started tugging my meat sword before my usual routine. There’s nothing wrong with that, a premature coom session, it’s all good. So I was jelking my prize hog when all of a we sudden I noticed that my door was still open. I knew that since I started masturbaiting earlier then usual that my family would still be awake. So I get up from my bed and walk to my door still jerking off and I get to my door. I’m just about to close the door when all of a sudden my prankster of a step sister slams my bedroom door shut. And that’s when a sudden sharp pain hits me and I look down and see that my foreskin has gotten caught in the door as it slammed. Holy shit it fucking hurt, my fucking dick felt like it was gonna fall off. Then when I think shit can’t get worse. My step sister started banging on my door demanding that she come inside my room. The banging was making it worse. I shouted “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” but she didn’t listen. She kept banging on the door and that’s when my pain grew into pleasure. It was basically like my foreskin was being rubbed by the doors banging. “Oh shit, that feels really good” I thought. It was like I was fucking my door, it was the best feeling of my life. I wanted to scream and moan In pleasure, but my sister was on the other end of the door. Then right when I was about to bust my sister said “ Fine, I’m just gonna come in anyway”. She opened the door, but It was too late. I busted a fat nut all over her face. She started screaming and she ran away to the bathroom. God, I felt so embarrassed. Despite that, fucking that door was amazing. 10/10 would recommend.
So I've been having a shit year, and for the last few months have been getting more and more depressed. I keep thinking about how I'd be done with all this bullshit if I was dead, and I was planning on just going for it tonight. I was going to say goodbye to someone, and I saw a horny text from a while ago and decided to uhhh go for one last nut. So I did, and then right after I got that yeet of dopamine and post nut clarity was like "bro just be grateful with what you got" and I was like oh shit, I should be grateful with what I have. Anyway long story short if you're suicidal, crank one out first 👍
