Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge, and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly cum every time. But I've trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius's wrath. then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate | unleash with the fury of a lion hunting it's prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that | busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish.
Today while astral projecting I summoned allah to try and weaken him so our hexing spells would work better.
He is so fucking powerful. I'm not at a power level to do this alone. I barely escaped with my life and I'm spiritually injured to a great amount, but I think I'll make it.
I can't imagine what he would do to a new, unsuspecting witch. I'm scared that I will have to face him again soon if I ever want to continue astral projecting. I'm currently burning healing incense and drawing spiritual energy from my crystals to try and heal as quickly as possible.
Please be safe everyone. Allah is much stronger than I first imagined and we will have to do this together if we want to slay a god.
Anyways, >>1, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a Yoshinoya veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>1, should just stick with today's special.
When we were in highschool, me and my best mate use to sleep over or hang out at each other's houses often. So one night at a sleep over, we're playing dares and he looks to me and goes.
"Bet you won't suck on my balls"
Not wanting to back down I said yes and watched him drop his pants, I never seen such a beautiful, saggy ball sack in my entire life. I sorta lost myself as I was sucking on on his balls. He must've too, cause he pulled me off and had been a good 3 minutes. We both just laughed it off and went to sleep for the night.
But it was different between us, we pretend like it didn't happen for a long time. But then out of nowhere as I was at his house, he comes up to me and I look up to see that beautiful ball sack waving slightly in front of me, he asked me to suck on his balls again and I can't believe I said yes so fast.
From that moment on, it was different. Each time we were at each other's house, he's ask "Can you suck on my balls." Or I'd go "Want me to polish your nuts" It got to the point, that we knew that by the day ended, his nuts were going to be in my mouth a couple of times. He even got more bold, asking me to stay on his balls as he jerked off. Making me suck and lick his nuts clean after a work out. He began to just demand I suck on his balls and I agreed to it. It was amazing, of course we were still friends.
But the fact he had this control over me was sexy. All he had to do was flash his balls and my mouth would be watering. I'd be weak in the knees and all he had to say was "Down" And my mouth was open and i'd be sucking his fat sack.
Edit: The fact this has gotten soo much attention concerns me 😂😂
Recently I discovered my parents play LoL together in secrecy.
My younger brother and I were both gifted new gaming laptops last Christmas. My parents set some ground rules however. After 8pm they are to be left in the lounge room as to ensure we don’t take them to bed with us and spend the entire evening gaming.
A few evenings ago I woke up in the middle of the night and was fairly restless, I tossed and turned in bed and for the love of god could just not get back to sleep. I laid awake staring at the ceiling finally on the verge of dozing back off until I started hearing some faint noises. The noises were fairly quiet at first and seemed to be coming from my parents room. As the seconds past the noises became more clear and more frequent. It was my father and mother, and they were playing LoL!
I couldn’t make out most of what they were saying but they must of been caught in an intense team fight. I heard a lot of back a forth sighing and panting and what I assume was the banging of the mouse against bed side table.
I laid there and listened in as best I could and the noises kept ramping up and I assume the game got more intense and more intense.
It must of been slightly past the 25 minute mark at this point when all I can assume a massive team fight broke out. I suppose my father is a support main like my self as I could hear my mother encouraging him and coaching him on his Alistar play.
“Pulverise that pussy! Pulverise it”
There must have been a Yummi on the other team. I could picture the team fight in my head playing out and I started to get more frantic wondering what the outcome of the team fight would be.
“Yes baby, keep going keep going” My mother exclaimed.
They must of aced them and are now running down mid to close the game out! I can only assume my mother has just respawned and is about to TP in the enemy base to join father in killing the nexus!
“I’m coming baby I’m coming” She keeps repeating to my father “Yes keep hitting it just like that” My dad must be carrying this game from the way my mother is yelling at him in joy
“OHHHH FUCK YES DAVID” she screams!
He’s done it. My dad has killed the nexus and my parents have gained some hard earned LP.
The room goes silent and I catch my breath also after listening in on one of the most intense games of my life. I assume they didn’t que up again because in the next hour or so I didn’t hear a noise. Eventually I fall back asleep myself.
The next morning I got up out of bed and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast. My parents are sitting at the table.
We make some small talk before I have to quickly head out the door and go meet my friends. As I’m about the leave I turn to both of them and let them know I heard them last night.
I quickly pat my dad on the back and congratulate him and start heading out the door. My father has gone bright red and my mother’s mouth is wide open in shock.
I assume they are both embarrassed and completely gob smacked because they haven’t said a word and I now know they are gamers.
Just before I pull the door closed behind me I turn to my mother and exclaim “Don’t worry mum, I fucking hate Yummi too” and give her a cheeky little wink
I'm 13 and and my mom is 33. Things at the school were never great. I'm sorta short so i get picked on some but it was manageable. That was, until one of my classmates showed me a picture of my mom naked. I almost had a panic attack and had to be excused from the classroom. I ended up not showing up to school for a few days (faking sick). I was hoping that things would cool off but they didn't. As soon as I got to school almost everyone was staring and laughing at me. This has been going on for about a week now. I was wondering how my classmates even got the pictures and apparently my mom advertises her onlyfans on her personal Twitter account. Some students from the school follow her and were able to see the nudes and they have been spread everywhere. I don't even have a Twitter so I didn't know about any of this.
The worst part is when I confronted my mom about this she told me that I was overreacting and that sex work is basically the same as working at a bank or a grocery store. She also said it makes her feel good about herself and that I should be happy that she's more confident now. I told the principal but they can't suspend thousands of students or take anyone's phones. I've been crying in my room everyday for the past week. I don't think I can take it anymore.
