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Storytime

Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.


Schrödinger’s NNN

    No Nut November
    I have failed and not failed NNN at the same time.

Last night on October 31st after playing some Call of Duty, I was tired and went to bed. I was pretty sure it was still on October 31st (before 00:00). I stayed in bed for a while and couldn't sleep, losing track of time. I decided to give it a go for one short round and started fapping. I ejaculated a big fat nut all over my shirt. It felt so good. Then I fell asleep.

The next morning (November 1st), I woke up and realized I did not look at the clock when I masturbated, meaning I could've cum in NNN. But there was also a possibility that I hadn't failed NNN. There's no way of knowing an approximate of when I beat my meat as I lost track of time. All I know is that it was around 00:00, so there is a 50/50 chance that I have failed NNN or have not failed NNN. But there is no way of knowing that unless I time travel back to October 31st and look at the time. I am currently in a quantum superposition of NNN. Therefore, I have failed and not failed NNN at the same time.

I have achieved Schrödinger's NNN.

    Its been 24 hours without my roblox girlfriend

      Your average robloxian when roblox is down
      It's been 24 hours without my Roblox girlfriend, I can't go ahead with this any longer. My mental state is in complete and utter pandemonium. I cried myself to sleep 4 times today. I feel paranoid that my roblox girlfriend may never come back. My roblox girlfriend has the only thing that brings me joy in this cruel life for 7 years now and I won't be able to recover mentally or financially if it's gone. I've spent over $7,000 on my Roblox girlfriend this week alone. I even bought $500 worth of robux for my Roblox girlfriend, because I trust my roblox girlfriend. I told my mom through tears and she yelled at me calling me a "failure" and saying she knew she should have been on birth control. Although, My roblox girlfriend being gone has had it's positive impacts on me. My IQ has increased by 40 and I've been thinking more critically. When I saw the last “gtg” message of my roblox girlfriend, i vomited. I just hope she’ll come back, I even started praying again. I've been a dedicated Christian for 12 years and I began to pray to god in hopes that they my Roblox girlfriend will be back soon. I had to learn Arabic to pray to Allah. I hope my Roblox girlfriend comes back soon I don't know how much longer I can take this.

      Roblox Down

        Roblox has been down for more than 24 hours now and the official channels have not yet confirmed when is Roblox coming back online.
        It's been 20 hours without Roblox, I can’t stop shaking and I’m having severe withdrawals. I woke up today trying to log onto Roblox but the site was down, I had a major panic attack but managed to calm down after a few hours. I couldn’t go to school today, and I can barely get out of my bed to do anything. I’m sick to my stomach at this point, life is worthless.
        21 Hour of roblox being down. I think i'm losing my mind. My whole body aches and my limbs are trembling. I feel my bones breaking and i'm in a straight panic attack because i have to go see the scary outside world and the tall green grass. I feel my organs degenerate and i'm losing power. Please, Roblox CEO, put your game back up. I'm dying and in endless eternal pain. I don't think i'm going to make it. How many years?…. Months even has it been without roblox? I still can’t comprehend my only reason of life has been stripped away from me, my body has gone into withdrawal, my hands are currently shaking as I am currently typing this. My brain has no purpose other than to fulfill the duty of playing roblox. What do i do now? I see no purpose of life… There is no purpose of life. I am going to send one final message before I cease to exist. I’m feeling sick to my stomach, my body is sick, my legs are shaking. I’m about to throw up. This is a disease, a mental disorder and disease that has taken my life away, Hope you’re happy now… roblox.
        It's been 24 hours without Roblox. I can't go ahead with this any longer. My mental state is in complete and utter pandemonium. I cried myself to sleep 4 times today. I feel paranoid that Roblox may never come back. Roblox has the only thing that brings me joy in this cruel life for 7 years now and I won't be able to recover mentally or financially if it's gone. I've spent over $7,000 on Roblox this week alone. I even bought $500 worth of Roblox stocks because I trust Roblox. I told my mom through tears and she yelled at me calling me a "failure" and saying she knew she should have been on birth control. Although, Roblox being down has had it's positive impacts on me. My IQ has increased by 40 and I've been thinking more critically. When I saw the "We're making things more awesome. Be back soon" page, I vomited. I just hope they mean it when they say soon. I even started praying again. I've been a dedicated Christian for 12 years and I began to pray to god in hopes that they can bring Roblox back soon. I had to learn Arabic to pray to Allah. I hope Roblox comes back soon I don't know how much longer I can take this.

        Roblox has taken over my sons life

          Roblox is an online game platform and game creation system
          Roblox has taken over my sons life, I need someone here to help me, it started off pretty small, he told me he was into this game called Roblox. I looked it over, seemed nice. That was 5 years ago, now my son has locked himself inside his room, using a pile of roblox toy plastic to guard me from opening it. When he comes out (The 1 time he does a week) he carries 5 bottles of empty soda pop filled with human waste and empty bags of food and throws them away. He will not speak to me, and will not leave the house, only will play Roblox. I've tried it all, but he seems to find a way to play roblox. I tired killing the WiFi but he payed someone in robux to let him have his, so he has his own wifi source, and trying to take away his PC causes him to go into a fit of terror, where he'll scream "ROBLOX ESCAPE THE BOSSBABY RAINBOW OBBY FIGDET SPINNER" until he gets it back please someone tell me how I stop this. I've tried doing a thing I call "Good Robloxian Robux" where I give him Robux when he does good things, like come out of his room, or doesn't use more then 20+ hours of wifi a day but it only works so much please someone tell me how I can get my son back, I miss that boy, he's 25 now, and needs a job

          I installed Linux

            I installed Linux and the feeling of freedom and privacy hit me so hard that I immediately began committing crimes, knowing that the FBI could never track me. Piracy, sexual assault, trademark infringement, petty larceny, tax fraud, you name it. I also own several fully automatic firearms even though I live in the state of California, but it doesn't matter. Ever since I removed Windows 10 from my computer and replaced it with Arch Linux, and began using a PinePhone as my daily driver phone, police can't even stop me in traffic. Windows may have a lot of video games, but the benefits of Linux should not be understated.

            17 days without jerking off

              What no fapping would do to ya
              17 days without jerking off, I entered the pharmacy to buy a candy(dont ask me why), then the girl spoke like this "good night, can I help?" Man who says that? Everyone knows that these girls only say "good night / good day / good afternoon" but for me she said "good night, I can help", naughty she is super flirting me. I caught a red candy and said "I want a strawberry candy" then she said "this is cherry, the strawberry is the most rosy" look how naughty, man, unbelievable, the mine had the audacity to say that the Red candy is not strawberry just to pull a subject with me, I decided to see how much she wanted that dick, so I said "ah it's all the same" then she giggled. Man was not a joke, there was no reason for her to laugh, she laughed to leave me at ease and ask for my number, I'm sure. So I kept looking at her shut up for about 40 seconds to make a link in the flirting because it was not fair just to do everything, she asking "is ... Do you want anything else sir?" Look how naughty offering to me at work, so I just stayed with the candy in the hand looking at her, she started looking at the sides to see if anyone was looking at her to ask for my number, she was so euphoric with my presence That was beginning to sweat and fill the eyes of water, surely imagining our future married. Two minutes after I only hold the candy and look into her eyes I put my hand in the pocket to get the wallet and she said "please do not hurt me", certainly imagining a wild sex because I'm this alpha male that I am. Then I took the wallet, opened a smile, picked up 1 dollar and paid for the candy. Then I said "I'll be back" and a tear came down her face. Certainly she is completely in love with me and crying with happiness.