Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Hello i am 6 year old student⛷️⛷️. Currently i have studied all subjects from to 10th🧝, I've completed all ncert, state board and icse books, but i think unfortunately my mother and father is going to disown me 😫😫😫because my relatives son (5 yo) has finished 11 and 12th portion too😔😔. I am lacking my syllabus right now i think i won't be able to make it since my relatives son already started to study for jee and neet together 😭😭😭 and are ready for 12th board exam since 4 years, i now have to study for 11th and 12th within 5 day😁😁s and also study for jee and neet together,😅😅😅😅 my mother ripped of my left leg because i scored 99.999980% (😰) and my relatives son scored 99.999981%. I am already lacking behind my syllabus and i think they will disown me now 😔😔. Ive learned how to solve Goldbach’s Conjecture, The Twin Prime Conjecture and The Riemann Hypothesis, but my relatives child knows how to solve Goldbach’s Conjecture and all other math problems ive solved😭😭😭, i currently can solve math faster than the speed of a Intel i3 9300K but my relatives son solved faster than me😢😢😢😢.I want iit collage admission or else my father will sell my left kidney and half of my liver 😱😱😱😱 Well anyways my 15 second break is over now i will study for jee advanced so i can score 100%.😋😋😋
I’m really in a pickle here, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve begged him to stop countless of times with tears streaming down my face, but he just doesn’t want to quit it. I think it’s become an addiction for him and that he might even be getting off of it. I’m scared, I’m frightened, I’m absolutely horrified. For further context, he would call an innocent bus, a “bussy” and the bus driver a “bussy driver,” and how he loves riding the “bussy”. Recently, when I just wanted to go in for a genuinely normal cuddle time, he asked me if I wanted to get in between his “legussy”, and I think something inside me just snapped afterwards. He calls his genitalia “dickussy” too and it’s really been drying me up. Please help me. How can I get him to stop so I could have my boyfriend back to normal? I really don’t know what else to do, and it’s been doing my head in. I’m really at my limit, and I think he’s been starting to infect my brainussy too.
Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity.
“You’re awake!” She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room.
“Where am I?” You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos.
“You are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to it’s extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.”
“How?” You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity.
“You have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity.
By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.”
“Will I not die?”
“You can’t die. You are immortal. You don’t even have a body and yet you continue to exist”
…
Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you.
Months pass.
Then years.
Then decades.
Then centuries.
Then eons.
No one talks to you. You don’t even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity.
The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased.
Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth.
Their plan was flawed.
Your release had increased so much that they could no longer contain you. Your cum has consumed the entirety of the cosmos. Humanity is without a shred of doubt, gone.
You are alone in the universe.
If there were aliens, they are dead now.
It’s over.
Basically, I was just getting ready for school and then went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. then when I opened the door, I found this fucking giant dildo that was like 30 cm tall. I closed the bathroom door and just walked upstairs. I feel so awkward near my step-mom now. not in a horny way, just fucking awkward. wtf do I do???
A little backstory, I am gay and by best freind is straight, he doesnt know that I'm gay yet, but I plan on telling him soon. So one day he invited me to a sleepover and I planned on telling him there and got way too nervous and chickened out, I am also in love with my best friend and went we went to sleep he looked way sexy so I got really horny and couldn't resist. Note: my friend takes sleeping pills, so he gets knocked out cold and its hard to wake him up. anyway, I decided to rail his asshole harder than ever and came in him. In the morning he said his asshole hurt and looked at me weird, i said "it mustve been the dog or something, maybe he humped while you were asleep" he doesnt have a dog.
For 23 years and 11 months had I suffered them, the ignorant gaijin back home who sickened me with their microwaved culture and their materialism. The spindly losers in the anime club who cared only for anime and not a whit for the superior monoethnic culture to which it was endemic. Well no more. Fucking zettai no more. I touched down in the country I was certain I had lived all my previous lives, no doubt as a badass ronin samurai ninja or some shit. I had never been here, but I had returned.
Nippon-sama, tadaima!
No sooner had I left the airport when I saw the woman of my dreams. She confirmed my every hope, my every ideal of this great land. The light coming in through the sakura backlit her like a full body halo. She was made of demure and soft spoken. Of bowing and bento.
Of Japan and perfect.
My heart started doki doki-ing all over the shop. And then she saw me! Spotted me in the crowd! Well, of course she did, I was like a head taller than the fucking hobbits they call men around here. I was in no state of mind to meet her gaze, and tried to look away but I was paralysed. She was just so ... prettyu ...
And just like that she started walking over. Her walk was just pure concentrated sex. If you poured a glass of it sex fumes would just rise right off the top. I loved the way the light danced unevenly over her pristine porcelain skin as she walked. The way she did more for me by showing just her shoulders than any American girls could by showing their entire gaping cleavage for all the world to SEE THIS YOU SHOULD TAKE NOTES, THIS IS WHAT SEXY IS YOU FUCKING WHORES -
"おげようごります"。
Oh shit, what did she say? She said something! To me! But I wasn't con –
"おげんきですか"。
OK, OK, I know this one. Where have I heard it before? Naruto 43? Oh god she's so hot –
"わたしのなまえは かお です"。
Fuck, I couldn't find the right words. Was it oro? Was it dattebayo? Was it anata baka?!?
"おなまえはなんすか"。
You know what, it doesn't even matter! Her voice sounds as good as she looks. I don't need to say anything. I could do this forever. This is goddamn bliss.
"..."
She suddenly seemed apprehensive, like she was cautious of what she wanted to say next. Loveu loveu confession desu?!
"Yes, what is it?" I blurted out.
"OH HEY MAN YOU SPEAKING ENGLISH?"
"What?" What?
"OH YEAH YOU DOES HAY NICE I LIKE."
No. NO! This was not coming from her mouth. It couldn't be.
"OH HAY YOU FROM AMERICA I LIKE. SO COOL! FUCK!"
no no no no no no
"I LOVE ALL AMERICA MOVIE AND SERIE. OH HAY DO YOU WATCH FRIENDS YES. ROSS AND RACHEL. COOL!"
"Um ... pleasu speaku Japanesu."
"NO ENGLISH MUCH BETTER I LEARN MANY YEAR AND COLOUR HAIR TO LOOK LIKE HILLARY DUFF. SO CUTE! FUCK!"
"I CAN SPEAK JAPANESEU SO ONEGAI PLEASE SPEAK JAPANESE TO WATASHI!"
"MORE INTENSITY LOGER MOORE RIP MY STOCKINGS RIP MY STOCKINGS LOL"
