Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
So a while ago I started seeing stuff in the dark, spiders, animals, dead humans, organs, shadow people, etc because of a mdma trip turned bad. I've grown used to it to the point I don't really mind em anymore. This evening I popped a couple bars and some meth and went to bed. (meth was taken a while ago). Genius that I am, I decided to whip out my dick to see how the shadow people would react. They got closer but not too close. Eventually I started masturbating. Slowly but surely some shadow people joined in giving me handjobs or blowjobs (visually only). I came. Was weird but nice I guess. ?/10 Might do a hallucination report completely sober if enough people are interested (it's never a fun time lol).
Eating a girl out from behind. She had an amazing body (still does) and it was awesome. Then without saying anything, she starts pushing my face away. I am very paranoid/worried about doing anything to make my partner uncomfortable, so I just pulled a few inches away from her butt and started to ask "Are you ok?" But then she let out a huge fart right as I was inhaling to speak. My nasal passages were open and this fart was forceful enough that I felt the hot, heavy gas hit the back of my throat and sink down. Then a few microseconds later, the smell hit me; full-on shit grade, permeating my sinuses. I starting choking and gagging and dry heaved a bunch. My girlfriend was so horrified she started crying. This was like 2 months into our relationship so she thought I was going to leave her, but as soon as the nausea wore off, I just started laughing because the situation was so funny. We bring it up all the time now and still laugh.
My girlfriend opened up to me a while back about a kink of hers, which, as you can see, involves shitting on people. Obviously I was very taken aback by this, and eventually the conversation led to her basically asking me if I would be willing to do it. At first I said “absolutely not.” But then after more talking, I decided that, despite the fact that the idea of doing this made me feel like my skin was going to turn inside out, I was willing to provide the woman I love with this experience just one time, since according to her nobody else had ever agreed to it. Of course, she was very excited, so we picked a day to do it and that was that.
Fast forward to last night. I’m laying in the bathtub, holding my breath, and she squats right above my body. I expected to feel some warm logs of human feces plop firmly onto my chest. Instead I got my entire body sprayed down by hot diarrhea. I have never seen her orgasm that quickly or intensely. Her whole body immediately began shaking and she had to grip the walls of the shower to keep herself upright as she kept going. The spray got all over my face and in my hair too. It was the most horrifying thing that’s ever happened to me.
I started screaming and she asked me what was wrong. I told her that I didn’t say she could have fucking diarrhea on me. I started throwing up in the bathtub and immediately turned on the shower head. She said she didn’t know it would come out like that but later after some intense arguing she admitted that she knew and did it anyway because she didn’t think there was a difference. I told her that there’s a big fucking difference. She thinks I’m overreacting but I honestly don’t think so. We haven’t talked much since because things are extremely awkward.
I guess my question is, what should I do now? I still really care about her but this feels like a violation. Can we have a normal sex life again? Any help is appreciated
I knew a milf that had sex with retards. it was her hobby and she was open about it. she told me that it felt wonderful being able to provide romantic love and intimacy for people who struggled so hard to understand the world. The way she described it was that it was like being fucked by an animal, since they operate on instinct when it comes to sex. Most are chronic masturbators and are desensitized to sustained contact, so retards fuck hard and long, and they’re very selfish in bed. She enjoyed seducing them and the way they reacted when she let on that she was serious and wanted them to mount her. She told me that she never used condoms when she had sex with retards, not because she liked them, but because it was degrading and thrilling for such a terribly misshapen person to cum inside of her and get her pregnant. According to her, she had aborted 15 retard babies over the years. Think about that. Think about how much sex with retards she had to have been having to get knocked up with downy sperm 15 times. she was incredibly hot even at 45 but after knowing that possibly a hundred or more retards had their way with her and had cum inside her, I couldn’t bring myself to have sex with her. She seemed really into me though, and I’m not really sure why.
Last week when our biology teacher started talking about pandas I got up from my seat and started beating my dick in front of everyone. I got so horny I didn't even notice the horrified expressions on my classmates faces. All the girls started screaming and crying while the boys just looked at me in shame knowing that a member of their own gender could do something so horrible. The teacher dragged me to the principles office I tried to explain why I did what I did but the principle just kept asking "what the fuck is apandah bussy". Today I received the news that multiple classmates of mine commited suicide. But this isn't my fault. It's apandahs fault for having such a nice fat juicy bussy. So Reddit am I the asshole???
Theres a very unsportsmanlike player at our club who constantly taunts and belittles everyone else. Whenver you make a mistake he yells out "blunder!" or "inaccuracy!" ... "better move was..." and then says the engine move or what he thinks the engine move is. He also says what he thinks the engine +- is. He plays the kings gambit as much as he can and knows like 30 moves deep into every variation. If you respond something other than e5 to 1.e4 he just laughs and calls you a patzer.
He's also OBSESSED with Hikaru Nakamura. He talks about him all the time and shows everyone a picture of him with Hikaru (Its really blurry so its hard to tell if its even him). He's constantly talking about him as if he's a close friend even though he only (maybe?) met him one time. Its bordering on creepy and makes everyone uncomfortable. He calls him "Hikaru-San" which I think is part of his obsession with Japanese culture. He also brings japanese noodles/Ramen to the club every day and will spend like 5-10 minute eating them during his turn just to taunt you. Meanwhile he will be mumbling words in japanese.
We tried approaching about his conduct but he just did some weird anime villain laugh, yelled something in Japanese, then ran off to challenge another person to a blitz match. We obviously don't want to tell him not to come but it feels like his presence is deterring new people from joining and its also exhuasting.
