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Storytime

Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.


My boyfriend doesnt know

    Nikocado Avocado copypasta
    At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocado’s asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". They’ve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriend’s brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking he’s keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesn’t know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brother’s LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. I’m literally pissing myself as I write this.

    Indian student

      Hello i am 6 year old student⛷️⛷️. Currently i have studied all subjects from to 10th🧝, I've completed all ncert, state board and icse books, but i think unfortunately my mother and father is going to disown me 😫😫😫because my relatives son (5 yo) has finished 11 and 12th portion too😔😔. I am lacking my syllabus right now i think i won't be able to make it since my relatives son already started to study for jee and neet together 😭😭😭 and are ready for 12th board exam since 4 years, i now have to study for 11th and 12th within 5 day😁😁s and also study for jee and neet together,😅😅😅😅 my mother ripped of my left leg because i scored 99.999980% (😰) and my relatives son scored 99.999981%. I am already lacking behind my syllabus and i think they will disown me now 😔😔. Ive learned how to solve Goldbach’s Conjecture, The Twin Prime Conjecture and The Riemann Hypothesis, but my relatives child knows how to solve Goldbach’s Conjecture and all other math problems ive solved😭😭😭, i currently can solve math faster than the speed of a Intel i3 9300K but my relatives son solved faster than me😢😢😢😢.I want iit collage admission or else my father will sell my left kidney and half of my liver 😱😱😱😱 Well anyways my 15 second break is over now i will study for jee advanced so i can score 100%.😋😋😋

      My (21F) boyfriend (26M) won’t stop adding “-ussy” to everything he says

        Bussy legussy dickussy brainussy
        I’m really in a pickle here, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve begged him to stop countless of times with tears streaming down my face, but he just doesn’t want to quit it. I think it’s become an addiction for him and that he might even be getting off of it. I’m scared, I’m frightened, I’m absolutely horrified. For further context, he would call an innocent bus, a “bussy” and the bus driver a “bussy driver,” and how he loves riding the “bussy”. Recently, when I just wanted to go in for a genuinely normal cuddle time, he asked me if I wanted to get in between his “legussy”, and I think something inside me just snapped afterwards. He calls his genitalia “dickussy” too and it’s really been drying me up. Please help me. How can I get him to stop so I could have my boyfriend back to normal? I really don’t know what else to do, and it’s been doing my head in. I’m really at my limit, and I think he’s been starting to infect my brainussy too.

        The Cum Empowers

          Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity.
          
          “You’re awake!” She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room.
          
          “Where am I?” You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos.
          
          “You are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to it’s extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.”
          
          “How?” You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity.
          
          “You have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity.
          
          By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.”
          
          “Will I not die?”
          
          “You can’t die. You are immortal. You don’t even have a body and yet you continue to exist”
          
          …
          
          Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you.
          
          Months pass.
          
          Then years.
          
          Then decades.
          
          Then centuries.
          
          Then eons.
          
          No one talks to you. You don’t even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity.
          
          The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased.
          
          Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth.
          
          Their plan was flawed.
          
          Your release had increased so much that they could no longer contain you. Your cum has consumed the entirety of the cosmos. Humanity is without a shred of doubt, gone.
          
          You are alone in the universe.
          
          If there were aliens, they are dead now.
          
          It’s over.

          I FOUND MY STEP MOM’S DILDO

            The original post was removed from r/teenagers but was reposted as a copypasta
            Basically, I was just getting ready for school and then went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. then when I opened the door, I found this fucking giant dildo that was like 30 cm tall. I closed the bathroom door and just walked upstairs. I feel so awkward near my step-mom now. not in a horny way, just fucking awkward. wtf do I do???

            i clapped my best friends cheeks at a slepover and told him it was the dog NSFW

              A little backstory, I am gay and by best freind is straight, he doesnt know that I'm gay yet, but I plan on telling him soon. So one day he invited me to a sleepover and I planned on telling him there and got way too nervous and chickened out, I am also in love with my best friend and went we went to sleep he looked way sexy so I got really horny and couldn't resist. Note: my friend takes sleeping pills, so he gets knocked out cold and its hard to wake him up. anyway, I decided to rail his asshole harder than ever and came in him. In the morning he said his asshole hurt and looked at me weird, i said "it mustve been the dog or something, maybe he humped while you were asleep" he doesnt have a dog.