Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Hoje era dia de apresentar um trabalho de português e bem quando chegou na minha hora, O MEU PINTO ESTAVA DURO, serio, era muito notável o meu pinto coladinho na calça pois eu estava com uma calça antiga, além da cueca larga que não ajudou em nada, então era quase impossível não perceberem meu pinto duro, eu também nem sei porque meu pinto estava duro, só simplesmente estava, então vim aqui compartilhar duas técnicas de como deixar o pinto mole.
A primeira técnica para deixar o pinto mole pode ser simplesmente ser broxa, talvez sendo broxa você nunca ira passar por dificuldades como esta que eu acabei passando.
O segundo é usar da ciência ao seu favor, pois, como o pinto fica duro apenas pelo fato de haver uma concentração de circulação de sangue nele, podemos fazer abdominais de perna simples para a concentração de sangue sair do seu pinto, e focar mais na região de suas pernas, assim ele ficando molinho
Espero que tenha ajudado vocês após meses procurando por essa resposta e não passar vergonha na frente de seus colegas (a não ser que você haja um pênis grande, dai você acaba impressionando as gatas, o que não é meu caso)
Translated to EN
Today was the day to present a Portuguese assignment and just when my time came, MY DICK WAS HARD, seriously, my dick stuck to my pants was very noticeable because I was wearing old pants, in addition to the baggy underwear that didn't help nothing, so it was almost impossible not to notice my hard dick, I also don't know why my dick was hard, it just was, so I came here to share two techniques on how to make my dick soft.
The first technique to make the dick soft can be simply being a jerk, maybe being a jerk you will never go through difficulties like the one I ended up going through.
The second is to use science to your advantage, because as the dick gets hard just because there is a concentration of blood circulation in it, we can do simple leg crunches for the concentration of blood to come out of your dick, and focus more on the region of his legs, so he gets soft
I hope it helped you after months of searching for this answer and not embarrassing yourself in front of your colleagues (unless you have a big penis, then you end up impressing the babes, which is not my case)
The wank that could've saved it all.
My friend, Known as pino was developing a game. He was REALLY REALLY in the mood. But he didnt have time to do his little buisness. So instead he resorted to going on his roblox studio game. and adding explicit innapropriate models to his little racing game. He added a maid girl into the burger king, to simulate the guest he added known as "Guest 1337" to mate with the maid girl. He Jacked to it but it wasnt enough, So instead he added a Tree house where he simulated an orgy. He loved it and He Exploded. A few hours later he decided to release his Racing game known as "Initial Pino". Pino forgot about the Innaproproiate lewd and disgusting models. Thus the Roblox police came and knocked down his Roblox Sex Compound. Pino was arested and sentenced to Account deleted for "Your account has been deleted for creating, promoting, or participating in "inappropriate behavior or content. This is a violation of our terms of use". Thus his account gone to ashes. Thousands of Dollars gone to waste. Burned for no use. This is the story of my friend pino who got his account terminated.
Moral of the story:
Before you develop your game and you're in the mood Bust it or you'll end up like pino and regret it
Stay safe out there.
Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded “I have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.”
I was only nine years old. I loved Morbius so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Morbius every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Morbius is love", I would say, “Morbius is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Morbius. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Morbius. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, “It’s morbin time". He grabs me with his powerful morby hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Morbius. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Morbius. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Morbius. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Morbius looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Get morbed". Morbius leaves through my window. Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
Okay I don’t know if this is actually incest since it wasn’t something actually sexual in the technical sense but her go’s
When I was little my mom used to put a buttplug in me (which she called a poop plug) and I’d wear it all the time I was told only to take it out to poop wipe my ass then put it back in
I was really young so I thought this was just something everybody did but one time at school I dropped it when I flushed the toilet and it ended up getting flushed so when I went back to class I told my teacher that my poop plug got flushed down the toilet she had no idea what I was talking about so she sent me to the school nurse
Well after trying to explain what a poop plug was for 15 minutes the school calls the police the police ask me all these questions and at first I’m scared because I think I’m in trouble for losing my poop plug Turns out my mom has schizophrenia and was making me wear this buttplug so satan wouldn’t stick his cock in my pooper and make me gay.
This was a few years ago, i was 21, but now I'm ready to share my story. Some time ago I just got into a breakup and I suffered emotionally, mentally and I was physically exhausted. My sex drive was at the lowest point in my life. Months passed and I haven't had any form of sexual activity until one day I had the urge to j*rk off.
I am living solo with only just my dog so I had all the privacy I need. I was sitting in my couch and while watching a girl dancing on my phone I decided to fuck the couch. I was really horny at that time and it felt really good It was so tight yet so soft. Everytime I became horny I always try to jerk off or fck certain things such as folded clothes in my wardrobe, office chair, I also tried fucking a lotion bottle with a large opening. Basically I was fcking anything where my d*ck fits. This was my routine in the morning and after work.
I don't know what got into me but I decided to fck my refrigerator. The door has a seal which is soft so I decided to fck that. At first it felt really good so everyday the only thing I was effing is my refrigerator. Until one day I decided to f*ck the side of the refrigerator door where it is hinged. Surprisingly my d fits perfectly. It is tight and I like how I can control the tightness of it.
Now for the disaster, my dog decided to push the refrigerator door and my fully hard erected dck got stuck. It was the STRONGEST PAIN that you can ever imagine as a man. I can't reach the the door handle to open it but I can't move because it fcking hurt so bad. I tried to scream but I can't. I was panicking and I feel like I can die at that moment but I was scared of the idea that someone will find me dead with my dck stuck in the refrigerator door. I tried and tried to reach the handle until I grabbed the string that was attached to the handle cover. I finally unstucked my dck but I can feel it but it hurts so bad. I can't tell because I think I'm gonna pass out. I was stuck for maybe 3-4 mins but it felt like a very long time.
After I got myself unstucked, I still managed to cm but it still hurt pretty bad. I was thinking of going to a hospital to got my dck checked but I decided not to. I was scared of being judged so I decided to keep this to my self, later that day my dick got all red and violet, it looks like it lost blood circulation, I just applied cold compress and took a lot of pain killers to relieve myself, this went on for a few days. I managed to pee but it hurts really bad. Until one morning the pain was gone, I went to the toilet to pee but when I pull my shorts my DCK FELL OFF. It really fell into the toilet bowl and made splashing noise, I still remember it like it was yesterday. It felt like a dream at first and it took me a moment to realize what just happened. I was like fck what should I do, should I pick it up or flush it. I was looking at the part and it was really gone. I managed to pick it up and drive to an emergency room, I don't want to exlain the details because idk if the happenings at the hospital was true or just my hallucination.
The doctors decided to take off the rest of the rotten tissue surgically because obviously my dick can't be saved. I was in the hospital for a month or so.
Months passed, my lower part started to heal without a dck, I only had a urethra so I pee like woman. Only my parents knew about this. I don't do dates anymore because I can't have sex, I can't masturbate either. I have no dck.
Damn.
