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Storytime

Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.

I saw sitting alone at a Dennys around 11 PM. He ordered a giant stack of plain pancakes

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    By u/n3ll, its satire of the Flying Lotus at grocery store copypasta but changed to Ethan from h3h3 at Dennys doing weird stuff.

    I saw Ethan sitting alone at a Dennys around 11 PM. He ordered a giant stack of plain pancakes but he wasn't eating them. He just sat there and kept farting over and over and loudly blaming it on the server. The smell was so bad that people started leaving. Then he got up and started walking around and helping himself to the food people left. Every time he approached a table he’d twittle his fingers and say “don’t mind if I do” and then wink at me while taking a bite. I felt bad for the server so I left a big tip. When I asked about it she told me he does this at least once a week

    Tatsuki Fujimoto and his pet fish

      The quote came from the creator of Chainsaw Man, Tatsuki Fujimoto himself from 藤本タツキ短編集 22-26 [Fujimoto Tatsuki Tanpenshū 22-26]. The story is often joked around by his fans for its unhinged nature and explains the insanity of his mangas.

      Until age 24 or so, I lived with my girlfriend in a 15,000-yen apartment in Yamagata. The people around us were kind and would give us fruits and vegetables. So while we didn't have much, I think we ate a well-balanced diet.

Even though we were poor, we had a pet Japanese rice fish. I found it dead one summer. I went to toss its body in the trash like in Parasyte, but my girlfriend said she wanted me to bury it, so I went off into the park, alone. I tried to bury it under this big tree, but the ground was too hard, my hands got all dirty, and I had no hole to show for my effort. Out of options, I figured I would pretend I had buried the fish and left it lying there on top of the ground. As I watched it for a little while, ants found the body and began trying to carry it away. I'm not sure what came over me, but in that moment, love for the pet fish welled from within me for the first time. I brushed the ants away, and then I ate it.

The next day I had an upset stomach. And when my girlfriend suggested it was something I'd eaten, I came up with some lie cover up the fact that I'd eaten our pet fish. I've had people get mad at me many times throughout my life, and when I'm scared of that, the lies just spill out. Most of the time I get caught in them, but this time I didn't.

That brings us to now. The memory of lying to my girlfriend is far stronger than the guilt of eating our pet fish. Please allow me to confess my sin here.

      Soup Tube

        AKA the soup tube story is a post from r/relationship_advice back in 2020 where a woman was asking advice on her boyfriend ludicrous idea. Her boyfriend proposed an idea of constructing tubes within the city to deliver soup to customer’s homes on a monthly subscription basis.

        The original post has been removed by moderators but an archived copypasta version can be found on the copypasta sub.

        My (25F) boyfriend (25M) keeps asking me to invest in his "soup tube" business idea, and I am not sure how to deal with it

I have been living with my boyfriend for about 7 months. Two weeks ago he sat me down and presented a powerpoint presentation with his business idea. I knew he'd been working on an idea, but he didn't want to tell me about it until it was finished. Based on his enthusiasm and his prior seemingly intelligent nature, I thought maybe it'd be a pretty cool idea.

Instead he presented to me an idea about "soup tubes". The idea, if you can call it that, is to construct a series of tubes throughout our city that leads to centralized soup kitchens. For a monthly subscription, a customer can "subscribe to a tube of soup", and a tube extension would be built off the nearest mainline tube and directly into the customer apartment or home. Based on subscription level, that would determine the quantity of soup a customer could pour and how many types of soup. The "tubes" are basically the size of pipes, like you might see under a sink, but he insisted that "it MUST be called soup tube, not soup pipe, tube just zings better."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. At first I asked if he was crank yanking me or something, but he was completely sincere. Obviously, the idea is completely insane. The notion that the city would authorize somebody to construct a series of tubes everywhere that carry soup into homes is of course ludicrous. And even if such an initiative were approved, the costs for such an operation would be ridiculous. You would have to charge outrageous prices for customers to install and "subscribe" to a soup tube, and who would pay for such a service when canned soup costs like a dollar or two? Or you can buy soup from a restaurant for a few dollars? I explained these things as politely as I could but he dismissed them and all said that "tube based soup delivery is the wave of the future."

He then asked me how much I wanted to invest, and I told him nothing, and he looked absolutely heartbroken. Since then, almost every day he has asked again for me to invest, and keeps trying to sell me on the idea. He is also doing the same thing to a lot of his friends.

It is starting to drive me up the wall. First, I am at a loss as to how he can believe such a stupid idea is worthwhile, second it is really god damned annoying to be asked on a daily basis to invest in a system of soup tubes, and third I am also concerned for his sanity. Other than his apparent obsession with this though he has shown no other signs.

I would like some advice as to how I can reason with him, or whether I should even continue this relationship.

TL:DR - My boyfriend wants me to invest in a business venture wherein tubes would deliver soup.

        I saw Jacob Elordi at a store in Los Angeles yesterday

          Its an edited version of the Flying Lotus copypasta but changed to Jacob Elordi with Kingdom Hearts in the mix. It came after he revealed that Kingdom Hearts is his favorite video game of all time.

          I saw Jacob Elordi at a store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, that I also really love kingdom hearts and thought it was great he did too but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen keyblade keychains and shadow plushies in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by singing simple and clean

          Lamelo Ball car

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            A few months ago I was in downtown Charlotte for a business conference. I was standing on a street corner waiting for a cross signal when I'm blinded by the headlights of the tackiest Cybertruck I've ever seen. It swings around the corner, literally a few feet in front of me, windows down, and who do I see but Lamelo Ball looking right at me. We awkwardly held eye contact for about half a second while he rounds the corner, then he launches down the street. It almost made me laugh, one of the most bizarre and unexpected moments that I'll remember till the day I die.

Anyways, yeah I wouldn't get in Lamelo's car either.

            Kelvin Benjamin

            A few months ago I was at Golden Corral for a business conference. I was standing at the dessert bar waiting for a serving spoon when I'm blinded by the speed of the hungriest customer I've ever seen. He swings around the corner, literally a few inches in front of me, tongue out, and who do I see but Kelvin Benjamin looking right at me. We awkwardly held eye contact for about half a second while he rounds the corner, then he launches down the buffet line. It almost made me laugh, one of the most bizarre and unexpected moments that I'll remember till the day I die.

            Angela Anaconda caused my parent’s divorce

              The ‘Angela Anaconda Digimon movie crossover caused my parent’s divorce’ was a 4chan story by a user claiming that the short crossover that played at the start of the Digimon movie eventually led to his parent’s divorce. The story was so amusing that everyone made memes about it and eventually the short was uploaded to YT for posterity.

              >Didn't know at the time that parents relationship was rocky
>I beg to go see Digimon movie
>Parents agree but I don't realize it's for them to spend some time together as well
>Get to theater and excited about Digimon flick
>Can even afford popcorn and drinks
>Parents look happy
>Angela Anaconda short comes on
>Parents also dont speak very good English
>My lil bay mind can't comprehend all the fuck going on
>Parents are utterly confused by this Canadian fuck running around in a Digimon suit
>I start crying and they pull me out of the theater
>Mom and Dad start blaming each other for going to the wrong film
>Dad throws away the popcorn Mom wanted
>Lots of arguing and I'm still crying
>Get out to parking lot and drive off in a rush
>Get into an accident in parking lot
>Dad moves out a month later

Fucking bitch of a whore Angela Anaconda ruined my life