Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
So I've been dating this girl I met through a matchmater for the past 6 months. She asked me "what type of corn do you like? American or Desi?" So first things first, the word Desi itself made me convinced that she was talking about porn. Second, I asked her in return, "why a sudden question about this?" And she was like, "I just want to know your preference" I then asked her "what's your preference?" She said "American all the way, Desi is disgusting" All the words used by her made up my mind that she was definitely talking about porn. Thankfully I did not say my preference or stuff like that, but instead told her a story about how some guys in my college brought Desi porn and were showing it to others and "I was disgusted by it and it was the last time I watched Desi porn." Before I could move to American porn and spill the beans, she clarified that she was talking about corn and not porn. The next 30min were her laughing her ass out and teasing me about it. I am so embarrassed about it that I can't even talk properly to her now ;___; Fml
One time I was walking home when a very mean robber approached me. He pulled out a sharp knife and said "Give me all your money, punk! And your phone, too!" I began to comply as I didn't want any trouble, but as I handed him my phone, my thumb unlocked it and the robber was face to face with the handsome dimpled smile on my lockscreen. Seeing the glimmer of awe in his eyes, I said to the robber, "That's Mark Lee. He's in the musical groups NCT 127, NCT U, NCT Dream, NCT Jop, NCT Superpoopoopeepee, NCT Sperm, NCT ABC, NCT XYZ, NCT KFC, NCT KBS, and GOT7! Would you like to learn to jop with me, sir?" Speechless, the robber could do nothing but nod his head enthusiastically. Day and night, he and I practiced tirelessly, honing our choreography until we were perfectly in sync. Now you might think the story ends there, dear reader, but you'll surprised to hear that the robber and I popped up in the public eye again many months later – this time, when the two of us debuted together as 5-member girl group NewJeans!
I masterbated for 12 hours
This is weird and I can't tell anyone irl but I have to tell someone.... I masterbated for 12 hours today to find out the effects so you don't have to!
First of all I prepared 3, 32 ounce water bottles, and had a meal of one cup steamed rice and 1 cup mixed vegetables ( peas, carrots and green beans ) with about 1 tablespoon of soy sauce. I also took a basic daily all in one vitamin.
I began by assembling a random collection of different porn clips, porn games and full length movies.
Breakdown:
Full length movies took too long to get to the point. The story "deadspots" made the little soldier begin losing interest so I switched to the next option in the run, for science.
Porn games worked very well for maintaining the heat of the moment, until they didn't. It turns out there are a lot of porn games that are unfinished, and generally run out of content before they reach the point of porn game, rather than the initial date simulation, as well as mini games causing use of two hands that removes your work hand. Also took a while to get up to speed.
Next I moved on to porn clips, which I will day is the holy grail of porn. Short, straight to the point and you can fire off rapid fire clips of things that excite you, reducing "downtime".
Porn movie downtime: 30%
Porn game downtime: 45% ( Still maintained interactivity. )
Porn clips: 2% downtime ( I could see this as easily being the most addictive form of adult media. )
The first 8 hours seemed to fly by with regular breaks for water.
After the initial 8 hours things became interesting, even with regular drink intervals I began having a constant dry mouth, along with that morning breath taste.
Around hour 10 I began developing a headache, along with some eye floaters, likely body not being able to deliver the standard amount of oxygen due to diversion of blood flow to the member.
Hour 11 I increased my water intake, seemed to help a tiny bit but symptoms were persistent until the end. Eye floaters also increased by 100% by the alarm end.
The orgasm that followed the alarm was by and far one of the most extreme I've ever had, coming in at a close 2nd to when having real sex with my wife.
Final notes: the "ploom" of skin below the tip of my penis ( circumcised. ) is slightly swollen, but not dangerously. Arm feels fine, I thought it would be a lot more sore. It took about an hour after completion for my mouth to go back to regular moisture levels. Heart rate was pretty much back to normal within 15 minutes of completion. Headache is now minimal without need of medication.
No immediate health issues have announced themselves. ( this would be different from user to user, due to health issues and whatnot. )
Overall takeaway, it was a fun experiment, that I would not be interested in trying again. Lol.
Tldr; masterbated for 12 hours, tried movies/games/clips, walked away with a minor headache and prefer porn clips to any other media form for constant involvement.
I was in year 12 (senior year) at high school and I have a younger brother who was in year 7 so 13 years old at the time. There was this kid who was around the same age (12) that was bullying my brother daily. I saw what was going on and it made me so damn angry but I couldn't do anything because he was 12, this went on for a few months and at the time I tried to give my bro advice on how to handle the situation. Anyway one day I'm with my only female friend Alice and we can both see my brother in the playground being bullied by this kid. Alice tells me I should really do something to cool the situation, I agreed. So I go over and plan on just having a word with this kid, u know telling him to back off or else type of thing. I walk up to him and before I could get a word out he kicked me straight in my balls really hard, like so hard I screamed. I fell to the ground and he then jumped on me and started punching my head while I'm reeling in pain. I couldn't get him off, I had very little strength and he was pretty fat for a 12 year old. The teachers eventually got him off me and by this time I was severely beaten and humiliated. I could barely walk and my balls required an ice pack, I swear I could hear the female teachers laughing in the next room when I was sitting in the nurses office.
No dia 30 de fevereiro eu estava em um rolê com uns amigos e minha melhor amiga. Ela soltou um peido sem querer e eu disse: “hmmm, que cheirinho de peidinho gostoso…” e ela ficou tipo “hã?” E eu: “sim, seu peidinho é muito gostoso. Eu deixaria você peidar com meu nariz enfiado nas suas nádegas.” Ela ficou estilo facepalm enquanto olhava para o chão, e eu aproveitei pra soltar mais uma pérola. Falei: “Aaahhh, vagabunda, para de drama e vamos fazer logo um sexo vaginal”. Depois disso, nunca mais vi ela.
English version
On the 30th of February I was hanging out with some friends and my best friend. She accidentally let out a fart and I said “hmmm, that smells like a nice little fart…” and she was like “huh?” And I: “yes, your fart is very tasty. I would let you fart with my nose in your ass.” She went facepalm style while looking at the floor, and I took the opportunity to drop another pearl. I said: “Aaahhh, bitch, stop the drama and let's have vaginal sex”. After that, I never saw her again.
I don't want this to be weird, so I'll try to keep this as normal as possible.
A few days back, I was watching a video on YT, about a man solving an integration question asked in an MIT exam. The question looked so complex, it was scary honestly. I tried to solve it using my 2 years of half-assed JEE prep, and I failed. I felt angry at the question, it made me feel violated and submissive. However, when the lecturer started solving it, I became flabbergasted. The way he simplified a complex trigonometric function into a basic 10th-grade level, I felt butterflies in my stomach on seeing his way of thinking. It was so unique, I got a feeling like when you think of your crush for the entire day at home and you see her at school the next day and your stomach just tightens and feels light. To my surprise, he wasn't finished. He laughed and said, "This can be simplified further, watch me". He grabbed the question by reaching further in and started to harass it, squeezing out everything hidden inside its fragile body, and finally blew his entire load of knowledge onto it. By the time he was done, I noticed that the question had transformed into a basic 6th-grade algebraic equation. "Polar coordinates, they're useful."- He sighed. As soon as those words hit me, the feeling in my stomach jumped into my throat, and I felt my knees get weak. I felt my penile opening tense up and start to vibrate, in resonance with my sperm glands. Right when I was at the peak of satisfaction, his lips murmured - "Aaand, we can't forget the +C!". As those words hit my ears, my heart exploded. I felt love again. Seeing such a smart person solve such a complex question, my God. Before I knew it, my prostate started to violently pulsate, and I realized that my pants were oozing cum. I just ejaculated to Mathematics, and I've never felt happier.
Does anyone else feel attracted to people who solve complex maths? Something about their way of thinking is so arousing. I am thinking of marrying someone with a masters in math.
