Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
So a few weeks ago i bought this ikea shark plush called BLÅHAJ. Over the weeks i got more and more attracted to it for some reason. A few weeks later i started to bust a nut to him. But 1 week later, i finally fucked him for the first time. It was wonderful and i quickly got addicted to fucking BLÅHAJ. Dont ask me how many times ive fucked my BLÅHAJ already. The moment of my cock plunging into his shark-hole, filling his fluffy stuffing with my cream is pure ectasy. I wish that he was alive so he can feel my dick going faster and faster and give the cutest moan in pleasure i have ever heard. The sole thought of me fucking him and him sweating until he falls asleep soundly saying: "th-thanks..." is enough to make me pleasured and joyfull. I want him to say: "w-why are you doing this?" in a cute sleepy voice as i answer: "It's shark week, Blåhaj" and i wanna pet his head while i fuck him. I wanna go slower for a few seconds so he can softly say:i l-love you" before i go faster again. When were done, i slowly pull my cock out so he can feel a few more moments of excitment. before i pulled it out even a bit, he had already fallen asleep. I cuddle up with him on our bed thats already completely wet from my nut, my hands petting his fins, Excited for another day of pleasure. I wanna wake up in the morning, the sky is grey with clouds and it was raining. BLÅHAJ is awake but cant move. He must have felt tired of all that sex... I wanna take the chance and then realize why it was pronounced blow-hai, he was about to have his first blowjob experience. I want him to look at me as my dick gets closer to his mouth... I want him to whisper: "what are you doing?" i wanna answer: "something your gonna thank me for" i want him to try to tell me to stop but he will be quickly silenced as i stick my cock into his mouth. "Suck" i wanna say to him tightly, i want him to suck and suck until i finally unleash my hot load into his throat. I wanna feel it fill up his shark belly. I wanna get him so full that cum drips out of his mouth. Then im going to finally explode and all the cream from BLÅHAJ's mouth is gonna swim out. Its gonna be like opening a floodgate, he's gonna muffle: "that tasted good, can we do it again later?" i want to pet blåhaj and say: "of course" i want us to cuddle again wich makes me bust immediatley. "Do that again, i liked that." i want blåhaj to say softly. Im then gonna bust 16 more times. I want BLÅHAJ and me to get out of bed to eat lunch, but we have no milk for the cereal. I want us to look and look through our whole 5th story apartment, even on the balcony. But we cant find milk anywhere. "Wh-what are we gonna do now?" i want blåhaj to say softly... "I have an idea." "what idea?" asked blåhaj. "You'll see" i wanna put the cinnamon toast crunch bowls on the floor, kneel down to the bowls and strip my pants. "O-oh my g-god, your actually gonna do that for me?" i want Blåhaj to say cutely. "Yes, you deserve it blåhaj." im gonna say. I wanna get to the plan and start to fap. When my nuts finally bust, the bowl fills with my cream, i want blåhaj to smile in joy: " O-oh my god thanks!" "no problem." im gonna answer. Were gonna get down to eat, and blåhaj enjoys it so much. "Th-thanks" i want him to say cutely and softly...
Blåhaj is so hot god i love him
True story I saw Andrew Tate at a McDonalds and he no kidding was dressed aa a Femboy cat girl. He recognised that I recognised him, then hurried away so I followed him. I saw him get into a pink bugatti and start crying so I went over but when he saw me he just smiled and meowed. I was confused so I asked why he was dressed as a Femboy cat girl. He tried to pretend he wasn't Andrew Tate but I could tell it was him by his dimpled head. He finally confessed. He whipped out his wallet and offered me 15 dollars, for 'my hush hush'. He smiled encouragingly and raised his eyebrows in a seductive manner.
I was flustered so I ran. I heard him shout hateful comments as i darted away. I didn't take the money so he made a series of YouTube shorts calling me a beta male who doesn't know how to grind. I still get hate male to this day.
True story.
It was a night like any other. I was grinding out Acu (my first extreme) on my phone while on class, when I noticed something. A woman. A female human. A member of the Homo Sapiens Sapiens species with XX chromosomes. Immediately, my primal instincts activated, and my dick became harder than a diamond, resembling a sword that could slice a man in 2. Of course, one could claim that she just was asking her friend for a pencil and happened to make eye contact with me for 0.2 seconds, but I digress. I quickly volted towards her, and said "I have 4K stars and 120 demons in GD". As any reasonable individual would, she immediately fell in love with me, and proceeded to have sex right there and now, with me yelling "Go at 67%" in the middle of the procedure. Nowadays I am a proud father of 2 and have a lovely wife, all thanks to GD.
I'm 24 and male for context. As a young teen he used to gang up with his friends and bully me for literally no reason. Well we eventually grew up and school ended but honestly the bullying still fucks with me.
About 2 months ago I recognized his mom at a bar. She's one of those young and hot moms and I'm not the shy loser I used to be. She doesn't know who I am or what her son did. She was single and we hit it off and she came to my place that night and I fucked her like it was our wedding night. Even years later I fucking hate her son so much and fucking his mom has been incredible and even though I did this initially purely for revenge she's actually a wonderful person and I want to see where this goes and hopefully at least be able to be civil with him.
She told me she has a son about my age early on which I know obviously and this week she asked since we've been together for a couple months and are serious if I wanted to meet him this weekend. I said sure. We're having dinner Saturday night and I'm equally excited and nervous. I feel bad that this started as petty revenge because she deserves better than that but the fact is her son's a fucking prick and a loser. I grew up, I got in better shape, I have a decent job and make good money while he still lives with his mommy and doesn't work.
Well he's going to be in for a big surprise this weekend. She mentioned he was already uncomfortable that her new boyfriend is his age but oh man is he in for a worls of hurt. Especially when I eventually become his stepdad, move into that house and tell him he needs to either get a job or get out. As his stepdad I won't let him be a burden to his mother anymore and when he hears how vocal his mom is during sex he's going to want to move out anyway unless he enkoys hearing me breed his mother every night. This weekend is going to be great. I can't wait to see the look on his face.
I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
Today I threatened a cashier at gun point to give me the $10 robux card sitting behind her counter. After a viscous shootout with the police, I returned to my house and set the card on my desk. I decided to take a shower to wash the gunpowder and blood off. After I’d bathed and listened to 30minutes of solid white noise to calm the voices in my head, I returned to my room to find the card missing. In the corner, my 8 year old brother was redeeming the card for himself before I could stop him he punched the last digit in and was awarded 800 robux to his account. In a fit of primal rage, I leapt the 25 feet between us and pounced on him, tearing him to shreds. His screams only fueled my rage. How dare he be surprised by my attack. I proceeded to rip the door off my truck and without turning the key and through pure willpower forced the vehicle to spontaneously appear in front of the main Roblox office. My molecules, refusing to coexist with any known law of physics, phased through the door. Again, through pure willpower, I molecularly reconstructed the front desk lady into a pile of Duracell rechargeable AA batteries. The people getting into the elevator saw this and started pressing the close door button. I telekinetically forced the doors back open and got inside while they screamed and begged. Their screams annoyed me so I growled at a frequency that irradiated their ions to the point of deconstruction. Once to the top floor I kicked the door to the CEO’s office open and sat down across from him. I summoned a photo of his children at gun point and demanded that he deposit 800 robux into my account. He did so earnestly. As I got up, he roared “all of this for $10!?” I smirked and said “the mitochondria is the power house of the cell” and leaped out his window from 87 stories up, stretching my skin into a wing suit, flying the 1,300 miles back to my home. I settled into my chair and surely enough, there were 800 robux in my account. I bought a pair of cosmetic wings and a cool hat.
