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Simp

Copypasta related to simp or simp culture which means a person who goes above and beyond for someone else in hopes of a romantic relationship.


Why are Japanese girls so hard to talk to?

    Why are Japanese girls so hard to talk to? I'm polite. Each time I approach one, I say "konichiwa". I always ask them about their favourite anime before talking about my waifu. They're usually really shy (which is cute imo) but I hate that I have to be the one to constantly engage in conversations with them, and how they usually get disinterested because I'm a white guy. Yes, I get that it's awkward because of things like Pearl Harbor, but I don't hold it against them. They weren't in Unit 731, so why judge them for it? Why can't the himes just realize that I respect Japanese culture and that I really want to be part of it. I'm willing to marry a Japanese woman, adopt Japanese children and even live in Japan for the rest of my life. Hell, I'm even learning the language by watching undubbed anime. Plus, I cook a mean bowl of rice (for those who don't know, Japanese eat a lot of rice, I do too my Mom says that I act like a Japanese person because of all the rice I eat and the anime I watch).

    Atomic Heart

      Atomic Heart Twins copypasta

      Breeding with the Twins from Atomic Heart

      I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with the Twins. Those perfect, curvy bodies. Those bountiful breasts. The child bearing hips of literal goddesses. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with them, pass my genes through them, and have them birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get the Twins pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Mundfish create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.

      The fridge actually turns me on

      The fridge actually turns me on. It really, really fucking does it for me. Not even joking, I have to take care of myself if she gets too horny. I've never been into dom or anything like that but for some reason I want this fucking fridge to beg me to defile it.
      
      And I want to defile it.
      
      Are there any theories out there that shows us how the fridge would pleasure us? I imagine vibrations and maybe penetration (not my thing) but it's a cold hard metal thing. At first I thought the insides of it were made of meat but they aren't. So I am imagining she has some sort of lubes and maybe an artificial synthetic soft opening that we might be able to use for pleasure? I don't know, all I know is that the devs fucked me up.
      I want to bang the atomic heart refrigerator so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the save break room I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with refrigerators. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of the fridge's tight robo pussy. I want her to have my mutant human/condensator babies
      Ahem, fellow gamers, may I have your attention, please? Today I've made the realization that I want to breed the fridge character from the highly anticipated video game Atomic Heart, she's so lascivious and sexy that I almost had sexual intercourse with my real-life fridge, but I didn't want to clean all of my semen after so I didn't. Something about her magnificent shape and size makes me concupiscent. Yesterday I went to Walmart and when I saw the dazzling fridges I instantly masturbated right then and there, the people there called the authorities and I got arrested. I have almost 40GB of fridge porn on my computer, I can't get hard on real-life women anymore since I pretty much don't masturbate to real porn.

      These robots are low-key fucking mid af

      These robots are low-key fucking mid af. "Ooooh dommy mommy robot" dumb motherfucker, they're basically humans in tight leather and a mask. That's standard dominatrix kit. They have visible fucking belly buttons. This shit is going to be like when someone drew fucking Windigos with long hair and tits and suddenly everyone was a "monster fucker". Don't call yourself a fucking monster fucker unless you are willing to fuck a deathclaw raw. And now we're gonna have all these "robot fuckers" who are horny for these fucking imperialist propaganda sex bots and then suddenly I'm not allowed in the robot fucker club because it's weird that I'd let an assaulting crush my skull under her foot. Un-fucking-believable.

      Mundfish knew what they were doing when they made the Twins

      Mundfish knew what they were doing when they made the Twins. Their perfect bodies, extraordinarily tall height, exceptional flexibility and true loyalty are everything a man like me could ever want from what seem to be innocent servants, but deep down we know that’s not true. Their role as maids is nothing but an illusion to hide all the depraved acts that they wish to perform upon us. If anything, their depravity by far surpasses me and pretty much everyone who encountered them. The only thing that’s holding them down from showing their perversion are the strict orders given to them by their owner. Who knows what Sechenov does to them behind closed doors, but we can only imagine that he gives them all kinds of commands. If I was him I would let them go to town on me. Just thinking of the actions that they can do to me turns me on so hard. Holy shit, The only thing that could satisfy my tungsten rod would be Left straight up rubbing my member in between her robotic creases and holes while Right brushes my hair and holds her cold smooth head right next to my ear and whispers all her true feelings for me in her rough, rasp robotic voice, but before Right gets to finish expressing her feelings towards me, Left begins pounding her heavy machine body on my pole. After all that, I would order Left to fold herself into that one spider-like shape and start sucking me dry. I genuinely wish to put my children into them. They’re everything I’ve ever wanted in life and I wish to spend the rest of my life with them. Of course, nothing can go as planned because unfortunately they can’t conceive my babies due to their robotic nature. This makes me more sad than anything else I’ve experienced in my relatively eventful life. Due to this I wish I was P-3 during his fight against the twins. I’d let them use me as their personal punching bag, even as their toy. I wouldn’t resist any of their attacks. Even when Left begins putting holes right through my body with her heels, while Right stands still, fully showing off her perfect 8ft tall body, humiliating me for showing weakness towards them. I would enjoy having the twins fly as high as possible above me and body slam me. I would savor the moments when her crotch is right on my face. If I had to die, I wish it would be from having one of the twins choke me to death with their thighs. I would no longer have to worry about the twins’ inability to be impregnated. This. This is the perfect ending to my life. All I need to fulfill my dreams is a sign that the Twins are real. The only thing currently keeping me alive is the slight chance that they are real. I wish they’re real and I want to spend the rest of my days with them even if it means that they would be the cause of my death.

      Mulheres são tão Fofas 😭

        Aí, gente, eu não aguento. Por que as mulheres são tão fofas? Dá vontade de tratar que nem nenêm 😭😭.
        
        No cotidiano, aquelas vozinhas fofas, aqueles rostinhos, aqueles braços e pernas delicados, aqueles pés fofos, aquela gemidinha MA-RA-VI-LHO-SA durante a foda 😭😭. Meu Deus! Como pode, isso não é possível.
        
        Quando vejo esses avatares femininos aqui no Reddit meu coração ❤️ derrete! Como pode!? São tão fofos esses avatares femininos 👩, meu Deus.
        
        Mas tomem cuidado também. Não é porque são fofas que não possam ser seres perversos 👿👺. Isso não tem a ver com aparência.
        
        Mas mulheres são realmente maravilhosas. Esse feromônio, esse cheiro de tesão e putaria no ar me encanta 💦! Aquela mulher gostosa que tem aquele corpo todo bonitinho 😩😖😵
        
        Ai! Acho que não tem coisa melhor do que sentir uma mulher e ela te desejando.
        
        Para todas as mulheres do meu Brasil Varonil, eu as amo! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

        Open English translated

        Hey guys, I can't take it. Why are women so cute? Makes you want to treat like a baby 😭😭.
        In everyday life, those cute little voices, those little faces, those delicate arms and legs, those cute feet, that little MA-RA-VI-LHO-SA moan during the fuck 😭😭. My God! How can it, this is not possible.
        When I see these female avatars here on Reddit my heart ❤️ melts! How can you!? These female avatars are so cute 👩 oh my god.
        But be careful too. It's not because they're cute that they can't be wicked beings 👿👺. This has nothing to do with looks.
        But women are really wonderful. This pheromone, this smell of horniness and whoring in the air delights me 💦! That hot woman who has that cute body all over 😩😖😵
        There! I think there's nothing better than feeling a woman and her wanting you.
        To all the women of my Varonil Brazil, I love you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

        Coital Dominance

          I wish females would ascertain their coital dominance on my only slightly higher than average fat content (463 lbs) of a body. Any redditor kitten females up for the challenge? 😉😘😘😜

          No way 🤯 girl on discord? 🧐

            No way 🤯 girl on discord? 🧐 Howdy I didn't expect to see no girl round dees parts 🤠 allow me to introduce myself to you mlady 😤 you can call me Jamal and I'll call you my kitten 🤓 I moderate multiple discord servers y'know I'm a man of high status 😁 I've been looking for some female companionship lately 🤗 and since my mother has thrown me out of the basement I'm not an independent person 😎 some may even refer to me as a big boy ☺️ I live in a homeless shelter tho 🤧 and I have no job 😄 I have hobbies such as reddit and discord and anime so I'm quirky like that 😵‍💫I live of disability benefits which I spend on funko pops and anime figurines 🤑 the homeless shelter however does not allow me more than 5 hours of reddit time so it's literally 1984 😓 but please give me a chance mlady cuz I just need you to cook me food and let me live in your house and give me money and change my diapers and pay for my Nitro 🤩 Other than that I am a nice guy 😍

            Not to vent or anything boyfriend

              Not to vent or anything but I've never had a bf before so idk what to do😞I've been craving and burning TO BE HELD BY A MAN🥰🥰
              Not to vent or anything, but I've never had a boyfriend before, so I don't know what to do. I've been craving and burning to be held by a ᴹᴬᴬᴺᴺᴺ!! My friend goth always looks at me like I'm weird when I tell him, so I need to bother someone else. Even he has a boyfriend. Ugghhh 😩 I've never been too much of a fan of sports but there's a guy that I wouldn't mind shooting hoops for. He was flirting with me and I completely missed it. His name's Jock, but we figured things out and we're together now, but my friend goth—the boyfriend he's with—I think I have a crush on. He's really cute and I- my heart flutters when I'm near him. What should I do?