Samurott
Created by u/Frostyzwannacomehere, its a response that glazes on Samurott while making references to the Navy Seal pasta and also calling the other person’s favorite Pokemon a fraud.
No the goat was not, don’t you ever fucking disrespect Samurott again
Did you just try to insult Samurott, little bro? The Samurott? The guy who makes everyone tremble in fear at night because he'll surpass their beloved Gliscor when he gets shell smash ? The Hisuan Samurott? That one?
I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Pokeology, and I’ve been involved in numerous statistical organizations, and I have over 300 hours logged in developing specialized integrated systems that track synergical Pokemon in a deep-web system. Samurott is the greatest spikerin league history and it shows if you take a median derivation of his BC%(Big chip) and MPG(momentum per game)%, you'll notice he edges every single pokemon that stands in his way, a metric that your 'Gholdengo" struggles to touch. Samurott is the top spiker and Gholdengo can't touch how he throws up a layer of spikes, does a billion to tusk, flip turns on your pivots , and makes progress no matter what.
Gholdengo is nothing to me but just another homophobic magnet that they use to make money. Take away Good as gold, take away the Ghost and steel typing , and what do you get? A stupid ass gambler is all that's left. Advertising conglomerates have turned him into some sort of mythical figure whereas if you look at the integrated momentum deviation systems you'll notice that he can't have half the impact that Samurott has on a nightly basis, both on offense and defense (Rest samu walls gambit). Samurott would wipe him the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.
You think you can get away with saying that shit about Samurott over the Internet? Think again. As we speak I am contacting Game Freak and Nintendo workers across the USA. You are able to receive a cease and desist from HO Sports and you're about to realize you should've enjoyed your house more because you also got a eviction notice coming sent to you by associates of Masuda himself. You don't understand what makes Samurott great. You might be jealous of his photographic glory or his all-around utility.
Gholdengo and landorus were never all-around pokemon because they only cared about themselves. Show me an example of Gholdengo and landorus praising a teammate, will you mate?Samurott and his teammates have an unmovable, unshakable, irresistable bond and this is the reason the chemistry between his teams is so amazing. His tantalizing body and endless spikes make him the prime specimen, a juicy beast of a mon who will eviscerate every tusk that stands in his way, powered by the unconditional love that he shows his teammates, all tying back to the his all-around, teammate first mentality.
People who hate on Samurott are just haters that they are fans of players that can't do anything but score. Samurott, however, elevates his teammates into star status. He turned HO and Balance into superstars and that's just one example. You probably forgot how he whipped kyurem and Zamazenta into superstar form as well, leading to both staying in OU. That's what makes Samurott special. He can get his own, he just chooses not to. Samurott can rest talk or swords dance on any given night and get the Win but how is that going to make Zama better? It won't. Samurott knows what he is doing. That's why he's the King.
He is the King. He is an all-around mon. And he does it all with his teammates in mind. And that's why he'll always be my favorite player.
Your favorite pokemon are homophobic spin blockers, and poison merchants. My favorite player is a freight train. Got a problem with that?
Don't ever try to talk shit about Samurott again.
Your favorite mon is a fraud, kiddo.
