Skip to content

Replies

Copypasta of absurd and over the top replies in any discussion that became a meme of their own. Such as Navy Seals and UwU what’s this copyapsta.

My Three Weed Smoking Girlfriends

    Originates from the infamous 2015 Tumblr thread known as “My Three Weed Smoking Girlfriends”. In late 2015, a Tumblr user thejorie uploaded a stock photo of three women dressed in cannabis-themed apparel sharing a blunt, captioned “My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.” Other users quickly began trolling him for his cringe post, prompting thejorie to lean into an over-the-top threats which resulted in this long copypasta rant.

    Come again? The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder. Come again?! You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth. Mother fuck.. what did you say?! I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you. I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer. Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger. Playin? Playin?! My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness. Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.*
    Wow, grow up. You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.

    I’ve reanimated the corpse of my favorite save file since 1.3

      this is why YOU don't. speak for yourself, I've reanimated the corpse of my favorite save file since 1.3, removing and adding hundreds of mods, including some that people say can never be removed. I've spent so much time grafting together XML files I may as well be a reconstructive surgeon. I've had to manually rebuild most of the walls using dev mode multiple times. I've had to remake pawns in a different save and then paste the XML in. mid save-saver is my best fucking friend. my pawns have changed skin tones multiple times and I've had to manually change them back, enough that I keep a screenshot of the colony bar on hand in case it happens again. I've shaved off hundreds of MBs worth of lines from many different versions of this one save file. I'm still making its shambling corpse dance around and I still will be years in the future, with an entirely different set of mods. it doesn't run very well 

      You have to have a very high IQ to understand Survey Scramble

        By u/TheGingerWeebGal, its a reference to the Rick and Morty copypasta but changed into The Jackbox Survey Scramble.

        To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Survey Scramble. The answers are very complex, and without a solid grasp of psychology, most of the answers will go over a typical jackboxxers head. There's also The Hosts's cheesy outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from cookie mastersons literature, for instance. Jackboxxers understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these answers, to realize the answers to the survey aren't just a family feud knockoff, they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Survey Scramble truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the 'Toilet' response to 'Best Place to poop', which itself is a cryptic reference to Cookie Masterson's Russian epic 'You dont know jack' I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion trying to get a high scoring answer to Survey Scramble and failing. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Survey Scramble tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. 

        I own a bastard for home defense, since that’s what the Spartan order intended

          By u/Street-Committee-367, its the ‘Own a musket for home defense’ copypasta but changed to Metro 2033 universe.

          I own a bastard for home defense, since that's what the Spartan order intended. Four Reich soldiers break into D6. "What the mutant?" as I grab my gas mask and bastard submachine gun. Blast the first one before it jams, he's dead on the spot. Draw my A-shot on the second man, miss him entirely because it's made from an old pipe. I have to resort to the DShK mounted on a railcar. "For Sparta!" The machine gun fire tears through two men, and the deafening noise attracts a horde of Nosalis. Grab my knife and charge the last terrified bandit. He bleeds out while I fend off a Nosalis that jumped me. Just as the Spartan order intended. 

          i’m the grungler

            women will go on a 1st date with a guy and things will be going well until the guy casually mentions he's bi and she'll go home and start posting stuff like 'we need to normalize being straight' and 'whatever happened to beauty' meanwhile the guy went home to play video games with a bunch of weird discord transsexuals and he named his character 'the grungler' and keeps saying things like 'check it out guys, i'm the grungler' 

            Blood clots

              Its the copypasta used by r/ClotSurvivors encouraging people with symptoms to get checked out by medical profesionals.

              We don't know either. There's no secret trick that doctors hate to find clots - the answer is always: "Go get checked out by medical professionals", never "Oh that's clearly not a clot, based on X, Y and Z". It doesn't matter how you attempt to word or rationalize it ("Just looking for experiences, not medical advice" or any permutation of it): We don't know how to figure out what ails someone else, regardless of how well they describe it, or how many pictures they wish to post.
              
              No, comparing symptoms will not yield clinically useful results. Still, it will update any anxiety you already have with new symptoms to mimic (Congrats! You've updated to the new and improved anxiety v1.9!).
              
              One person's clotting symptom is another person's anxiety symptom, a third person's sprain, a fourth person's random pain, a fifth person's muscle cramp, a sixth persons [...]. All present with the same symptoms, and all have different causes. The only way to figure out what's wrong with you is to get professionals to check it out - speculating on the internet will not move your goal any further along. If you feel like you weren't thoroughly checked, get checked again. If that keeps happening over and over, then you can start concluding the cause of that.
              
              You're asking a group of people who have reason to find each other (just like any other support group for a condition), whether you might be on the way to becoming one of us - we'll always err on the side of caution (so you should probably get checked out, sooner the better). We don't and can't know if your symptoms stem from a clot, anxiety, or something else (least to most likely). We're also not footing the bill (time, money, consequences) of going or not going to get checked out.
              
              Likewise, we aren't in the business of relieving anxiety for folks with no diagnosed clots - we're the outliers, and our stories will make you worse, not better. We'll still be here if it does turn out to be a clot.