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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


TIFU by telling my friend that her dog isn’t non-binary.

    LIBARAL AGENDA!
    This happened during lunch when she excitedly brought her dog along. It’s a super cute “labradoodle” and she has had him for 3 weeks now. Like most new dog owners she talked a lot about this dog and how smart he is, how he is with other dogs and people, etc. I didn’t mind of course, if it made her happy then why not!
    
    An hour or so into lunch I noticed she kept referring to the dog as “it” and “they” I asked what gender the dog is and she gave me such a look. “…THEY are non-binary. THEY do not have a gender.” Er… what? She really took me surprise and then I laughed thinking she was joking. Well, she wasn’t…
    
    I then made the mistake of saying that it’s a bit silly to be that way about her dog. It’s not like the dog can tell her that HE doesn’t identify as a gender. She was furious when I said that and the rest of the lunch was awkward as hell, even after changing the subject.
    
    TLDR; TIFU by telling my friend over lunch that her new adorable labradoodle dog isn’t non-binary.
    
    Edit: actually thought I was going to get hate for this, glad to know I’m not a total bad person.

    They targeted gamers.

      They targeted gamers.
      
      Gamers.
      
      We're a group of people who will sit for hours, days, even weeks on end performing some of the hardest, most mentally demanding tasks. Over, and over, and over all for nothing more than a little digital token saying we did.
      
      We'll punish our selfs doing things others would consider torture, because we think it's fun.
      
      We'll spend most if not all of our free time min maxing the stats of a fictional character all to draw out a single extra point of damage per second.
      
      Many of us have made careers out of doing just these things: slogging through the grind, all day, the same quests over and over, hundreds of times to the point where we know evety little detail such that some have attained such gamer nirvana that they can literally play these games blindfolded.
      
      Do these people have any idea how many controllers have been smashed, systems over heated, disks and carts destroyed 8n frustration? All to latter be referred to as bragging rights?
      
      These people honestly think this is a battle they can win? They take our media? We're already building a new one without them. They take our devs? Gamers aren't shy about throwing their money else where, or even making the games our selves. They think calling us racist, mysoginistic, rape apologists is going to change us? We've been called worse things by prepubescent 10 year olds with a shitty head set. They picked a fight against a group that's already grown desensitized to their strategies and methods. Who enjoy the battle of attrition they've threatened us with. Who take it as a challange when they tell us we no longer matter. Our obsession with proving we can after being told we can't is so deeply ingrained from years of dealing with big brothers/sisters and friends laughing at how pathetic we used to be that proving you people wrong has become a very real need; a honed reflex.
      
      Gamers are competative, hard core, by nature. We love a challange. The worst thing you did in all of this was to challange us. You're not special, you're not original, you're not the first; this is just another boss fight.

      My (F) girlfriend left me after I (M) said something funny during sexy time

        So yesterday I was having some sexy (sex) time (not too much) with my female (F) wife. Everything was going fine, plec, plec, plec, ploc, ploc, ploc, until I had the urge to set my prostate yogurt free. I took a long breath and let it rip, and in the end of the flow I announced "NOT THE CHICKEN, NOR THE EGG... I CAME FIRST" and slapped my girl's ass. She hasn't spoke to me since the incident and it's been five days. What should I do, reddit?

        LPT: If you’re tall, when speaking to a short person, kneel down or else you’re being ableist

          Being short is a disability, and as a tall person, it's your responsibility to make sure short people don't get even more disabled by having to look up to speak to you. Doing this can damage their neck. Standing up while talking to short people also makes them feel threatened and unsafe so kneeling down not only prevents them from damaging their necks but also makes them feel more safe. Not doing this means you don't respect short people, you're mocking their disability, you're looking down on them and that's ableist, so be the bigger man and kneel.
          
          Thank you.

          How to get rid of the smell of diarrhea on a gaming chair?

            He watched FNAF jumpscare compilation pt 67 😳
            So, I have a gaming chair in my office that is made of that like, leather/plastic stuff, and the other day, it got covered in the devil's brown sauce.
            
            I didn't discover it until after about 10 hours I suspect.
            
            I cleared it all up, have covered it in disinfectant spray, have gotten washing up liquid and scrubbed it and left it to soak, have tried fabreeze... The smell is still there (less so than before, but still there).
            
            The problem is, if you sit on the chair, the smell gets into your jeans.
            
            I tried folding a large towel over it, then sitting on that.
            
            The smell gets through the towel, making it smell the same, and to your jeans, making them smell too.
            
            How the hell do I clean this thing?

            My (23M) brother (18M) is addicted to Among Us porn.

              MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP
              My brother is an Among Us porn addict. He apparently started "ironically" watching Among Us porn and then it started to seriously turn him on. Once hi accidentally sent Among Us anal porn to our family group chat and my mother got angry and we started discussing it as a family. My sister was probably the most disgusted one and wants my brother to get a therapy because she thinks he has an addiction and it is dangerous for him. I say that he is just discovering his sexual self and masturbating to Among Us impostor being anally penetrated by another Among Us impostor is not wrong. My brother is really embarrassed and just wants all of this to end. I don't think that my parents really care that much and it's just my sister still talking about it. What should I do to convince her that Among Us hardcore porn is OK?