Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.
So a month ago I went on a little trip to spain. On the way back out plane had to stop in Italy for 2 hours. I managed to shit once in spain, once in Italy and once in my home country upon arrival, so I managed to shit in 3 different countries in the span of 12 hours. Is this an accomplishment? Of course I won't put it in my CV, but do you know someone that has done something similar? Anyway, I call it the trifecta, you rae more than welcome to attempt doing it.
Edit: Thank you all for the support in the comments. I did not expect this much positive feedback, I'm literally shaking rn. Next summer I'll attempt the fourfecta. Will let you know how it goes
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So me and my girlfriend were on Discord together bored out of our minds. That’s when she came up with the idea to play Among Us. I agreed, and we joined a public lobbies playing together.
So in one round I get the engineer role (for those who haven’t played among us for a while, it’s a role where you can vent as a crew mate) and I vent in front of her. She freaks out and presses the button and snitches on me, telling the people I was an Impostor.
They didn’t believe her and they skipped. I then told her on vc that if I was the impostor I wouldn’t even kill her because that’s messed up. She on the other hand said “I would murder you first if I was the impostor.”
So next round I’m the Impostor. I killed her first and I started laughing because she was so surprised by it. So I begin to finish the round off by winning. After I won, I continued to laugh about how she was so unaware of me killing her.
Then she got angry at me and told me that I promised I wouldn’t kill her as an impostor, so I broke the trust I had with her. I thought she was joking at first because ITS AMONG US. A GAME WHERE YOU HAVE TO LIE.
She then said things like “What kind of boyfriend does that” “You’re just like my ex” “you shouldn’t be laughing, that proves you don’t care about me”
So I argued back with her telling her it was a game about fucking beans and she’s getting so worked up over it.
We kinda yelled at each other on VC which led to her breaking up with me because she couldn’t trust me anymore.
WHAT THE FUCK. 😭I really just lost my girlfriend over amogus. Here’s a little bit of our convo after we got off vc and stuff.
https://ibb.co/fpJJBX7
TL;DR: My girlfriend and I played among us together. I killed her as an impostor and she went off at me which ended in us breaking up.
Obligatory this happened 5 years ago but we are still very much happily married today and having lots of sex every day. A bit of a backstory, my dick is fucking huge. I have a 12 inches with 5 inch diameter. I also last really long in bed. Also me and my wife are polyamorous so hmu if you wanna try something ;).
Now, to the story. My wife and I were into vanilla sex only at the time. I was getting kind of bored one day so I suggested she peg me with her giant futa cock instead of the other way around while she masturbates me to vaporeon porn. Now, because my dick is so fucking large, it took a lot of effort to switch positions, and while in the process of doing so, my dominant pelvic thrusts slapped her cock out of the way and it slipped into her asshole. Now, this felt really good, so I kept going even though she yelled at me to stop and that it hurt. After I nutted inside her I sat down on my pewdiepie gamer chair to work on my star wars minecraft build. Reddit, AITA?
TLDR: Accidentaly buttfucked my futa cock girlfiend with my giant penis while she begged me to stop.
Edit: Thank you for the gold kind strangers!!1!11!!
Edit 2: Alot of you wanted a TLDR so I have added one to the end of the post.
Edit 3: Some of you guys are saying I was NTA or am TA for different reasons so I've taken all of your guys'sses' advice and will hit the gym then enlarge my cock then fuck her even harder next time in the dick and make sure to hide the gorilla glue. TYSM fellow holesome 100 fedora tipping keanu chungus redditors.
Rabies. It's exceptionally common, but people just don't run into the animals that carry it often. Skunks especially, and bats.
Let me paint you a picture.
You go camping, and at midday you decide to take a nap in a nice little hammock. While sleeping, a tiny brown bat, in the "rage" stages of infection is fidgeting in broad daylight, uncomfortable, and thirsty (due to the hydrophobia) and you snort, startling him. He goes into attack mode.
Except you're asleep, and he's a little brown bat, so weighs around 6 grams. You don't even feel him land on your bare knee, and he starts to bite. His teeth are tiny. Hardly enough to even break the skin, but he does manage to give you the equivalent of a tiny scrape that goes completely unnoticed.
Rabies does not travel in your blood. In fact, a blood test won't even tell you if you've got it. (Antibody tests may be done, but are useless if you've ever been vaccinated.)
You wake up, none the wiser. If you notice anything at the bite site at all, you assume you just lightly scraped it on something.
The bomb has been lit, and your nervous system is the wick. The rabies will multiply along your nervous system, doing virtually no damage, and completely undetectable. You literally have NO symptoms.
It may be four days, it may be a year, but the camping trip is most likely long forgotten. Then one day your back starts to ache... Or maybe you get a slight headache?
At this point, you're already dead. There is no cure.
(The sole caveat to this is the Milwaukee Protocol, which leaves most patients dead anyway, and the survivors mentally disabled, and is seldom done).
There's no treatment. It has a 100% kill rate.
Absorb that. Not a single other virus on the planet has a 100% kill rate. Only rabies. And once you're symptomatic, it's over. You're dead.
So what does that look like?
Your headache turns into a fever, and a general feeling of being unwell. You're fidgety. Uncomfortable. And scared. As the virus that has taken its time getting into your brain finds a vast network of nerve endings, it begins to rapidly reproduce, starting at the base of your brain... Where your "pons" is located. This is the part of the brain that controls communication between the rest of the brain and body, as well as sleep cycles.
Next you become anxious. You still think you have only a mild fever, but suddenly you find yourself becoming scared, even horrified, and it doesn't occur to you that you don't know why. This is because the rabies is chewing up your amygdala.
As your cerebellum becomes hot with the virus, you begin to lose muscle coordination, and balance. You think maybe it's a good idea to go to the doctor now, but assuming a doctor is smart enough to even run the tests necessary in the few days you have left on the planet, odds are they'll only be able to tell your loved ones what you died of later.
You're twitchy, shaking, and scared. You have the normal fear of not knowing what's going on, but with the virus really fucking the amygdala this is amplified a hundred fold. It's around this time the hydrophobia starts.
You're horribly thirsty, you just want water. But you can't drink. Every time you do, your throat clamps shut and you vomit. This has become a legitimate, active fear of water. You're thirsty, but looking at a glass of water begins to make you gag, and shy back in fear. The contradiction is hard for your hot brain to see at this point. By now, the doctors will have to put you on IVs to keep you hydrated, but even that's futile. You were dead the second you had a headache.
You begin hearing things, or not hearing at all as your thalamus goes. You taste sounds, you see smells, everything starts feeling like the most horrifying acid trip anyone has ever been on. With your hippocampus long under attack, you're having trouble remembering things, especially family.
You're alone, hallucinating, thirsty, confused, and absolutely, undeniably terrified. Everything scares the literal shit out of you at this point. These strange people in lab coats. These strange people standing around your bed crying, who keep trying to get you "drink something" and crying. And it's only been about a week since that little headache that you've completely forgotten. Time means nothing to you anymore. Funny enough, you now know how the bat felt when he bit you.
Eventually, you slip into the "dumb rabies" phase. Your brain has started the process of shutting down. Too much of it has been turned to liquid virus. Your face droops. You drool. You're all but unaware of what's around you. A sudden noise or light might startle you, but for the most part, it's all you can do to just stare at the ground. You haven't really slept for about 72 hours.
Then you die. Always, you die.
And there's not one... fucking... thing... anyone can do for you.
Then there's the question of what to do with your corpse. I mean, sure, burying it is the right thing to do. But the fucking virus can survive in a corpse for years. You could kill every rabid animal on the planet today, and if two years from now, some moist, preserved, rotten hunk of used-to-be brain gets eaten by an animal, it starts all over.
So yeah, rabies scares the shit out of me. And it's fucking EVERYWHERE. (Source: Spent a lot of time working with rabies. Would still get my vaccinations if I could afford them.)
When I was a teenager I got super bored and decided I wanted to see if I could get a fetish on purpose. I set up an experiment to see if I could get a fetish for something extremely non-sexual if I tried hard enough. So every time I wanted to whack it, I ignored looking up porn and instead looked up computer insides and maintenance imagery on google and tried to jack off to it. I did this for like a month or two and then forgot about it because it wasn't working, and now like five years later I realise I accidentally pavlov'd myself into associating sex with machine maintenance. The real kicker is that I'm the family's computer guy so I had to go to my grandma's house to fix the printer there, and I had to pull out the toner drum and I legitimately felt like I was doing something perverse. I could not stop getting nervous the entire time I was there because I was anxious about my poor unsuspecting family somehow finding out that opening up the printer gets my dick hard :/ TL;DR Jacked off to computer parts when I was like 15 cause I was bored and now I'm scared shitless of fixing my grandma's printer in case I get a boner
EDIT: Sorry if any of my friends who know this about me saw that i put this on reddit for clout. Thought id at least get something out of the debacle