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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


TIFU by letting my boyfriend eat my ass

    Eating ass copypasta
    TIFU by letting my boyfriend eat my ass.
    
    So my boyfriend kept telling me how excited he gets when thinking about eating ass.
    
    I’ve always been against it but his constant repetition got me wondering what it would feel like so we decided to give it a go.
    
    During foreplay he asked me again if he could eat my ass and I said yes.
    
    It felt so weird, got my abs tensing up.
    
    While licking down there 🍑 he decided to start fingering it too, the saliva was working as lube so it wasn’t painful or anything but I was feeling like I was gonna poop.
    
    I just ignored it and was just so lost pleasuring myself with my vibrator.
    
    When I orgasmed, I heard my boyfriend shout as if he was in pain.
    
    I was super stressed at this point, scared I might have pooped or something.
    
    He took he face out and stared at me. It was covered in brown watery material and he ended up throwing up on me.
    
    Guess I got food poisoning or something and ended up diarrhoea blasting him.
    
    …
    
    We discussed it after he had a shower. I wanted to cheer him up so I told him I enjoyed it except the poop part. He just sat there in shock for a while and told me he doesn’t want to eat my ass again for a while.
    
    TL;DR I tried anal foreplay and ended up pooping in my boyfriend’s mouth.
    
    Edit: As someone pointed out - “they were basically inducing peristalsis of both the inner and outer sphincter with the fingering and vibrator. Makes ya wanna poop.”
    
    Good to know 👍
    
    Edit 2: People who are saying that my boyfriend is toxic and manipulative clearly don’t know him.
    
    I let him talk about his fantasies, it turns me on.
    
    The world isn’t black and white and adults are capable of finding something previously unacceptable to them acceptable.
    
    Edit 3: I keep getting spam from support saying someone reached out to them.
    
    Just to make it clear, I’m not traumatised by this experience and find it slightly funny. No need to offer me emotional support in messages either 🙂

    How do i unname my new born son Morbius

      Morbius copypasta
      Hi reddit
      
      Backstory, a few weeks ago my pregnant wife (27f) and I (28m) went to see a movie - Morbius. Around 5 minutes into the movie, her water broke with some contractions, so we left to rush to the hospital. long story short, we welcomed a new member to the family. We haven’t decided on a name at that point, and since her water broke while we were watching Morbius. We decided to name him Morbius.
      
      After settling back home 2 weeks ago, and finally got some rest looking after young Morb. I saw that the movie has been trending lately online with good reviews, so i thought why not watch it with Morb. I purchased the blue ray copy off prime, and we watched it last night as a family.
      
      So here comes the title, the movie was awful, and we both hated it. My wife and i want to rename our son, and we don’t know how and the process. If anyone could help, it’ll be great. We’re in vic australia
      
      tdlr: named new born son Morbius and would like to rename him.

      AITA For quoting Morbius?

        Morbin time copypasta
        I went to a bar last week and saw this total morbette. I immediately morbed a little in my pants and decided to put my morb where my mouth is. I went up and sat my Morbussy on the stool next to her, and asked her if I knew her. Nah, you're too pretty. I'd remember your face. Tequila to remember, whiskey to forget. She was instantly morbing out her panties at the mere thought of morbing out with me. Then some anti-morber jerkop came up and said "Are you fucking quoting Morbius (2022) to pick up girls?" I panicked. I said "Would you like some whiskey, my friend?" and he started assaulting me. I morbed the hell out and morbed all over that guy and am now in federal prison for "Murder". Don't those detectives know it was a morbius reference? All in all, AITA?

        My brother won’t stop saying “ITS MORBING TIME!”

          Stand back! Its morbing time!
          Someone for the fucking life of me help my brother (22) won’t stop saying “ITS MORBING TIME!” he found these words on fb or something and said its stuck in his mind and everytime he wakes up, shits, sleeps, pisses, EVERYTHING he says “its morbing time!”
          
          I’m losing my sanity, fuck you morbius. That was very un-morb

          TIFU by committing genocide

            Average Reddit TIFU copypasta
            I was visiting my super hot cousin in Myanmar, she came on to me really hard because she had forgotten that we were related because she was in lust. Somehow I ended sleeping with her and my hot aunt joined in too.
            
            Then I heard my uncle coming up the stairs so I jumped out of the window. I ran into a Buddhist monks armed with machettes and he asked me why I was naked so I told him that I was robbed by a couple of Rohingya. He asked me where the Muslim bastards were and I pointed to my cousins house.
            
            The Buddhists ran in to the house an massacred my relatives and burned down the entire village. The total death toll was somewhere around 3000.
            
            TL DR: I narrowly escaped getting caught having sex with my cousin.

            My son refuses to watch Morbius for the 34 time with me

              I tried to take him with me to the theater last night thinking he will get back to his senses, but he yelled saying that he is bored.
              
              He even said it wasn’t as good as Spiderman (and later clarified “it was slightly better than the batman tho”)
              
              I am heartbroken and lost. Help.
              
              Edit: I disowned him.
              
              Edit: my son is missing for the past few days. Please help.
              
              Edit: the police at my door, i think im getting arrested.
              
              Edit: do you guys know a cheap lawyer who can reduce my sentence for murder? I need help