Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.
We used to do sexy sexing of sexy sex by sexing the sex because sexy sexing sex is sexy. The first sexy time we sexy sexing sexed sexily was at 10/10/2010. First she sexied my sexy sexing dick that is sexily sexy. Then I sexed her sexy sexing pussy of sexing too. But sexily that's just pretty sexily it. Bye guys and like and subscribe and rate 5 stars and share and comment to sexily support the sex out of this sexily sexy sex post. Bye sexies.
Am I the asshole for choosing to keep having a valorant porn addiction and abandoning my girlfriend?
I (22M) used to have a girlfriend (20F), we've been dating for 2 years now and the relationship was going smooth and I was planning to marry her. She's the kind of woman who would always have time to play with me, which I love. My favorite game was valorant, she decided to abandon other games just to be my pocket sage. But one day we were just normally playing some competitive, and when the round started I heard one of viper's voiceline which she said "come". I started to feel my dick rising and getting hard because of that, my girlfriend saw my super hard ass boner and thought she caused it. She insists on going afk just to have sex with me to get rid of my boner, but I was really horny about the viper voiceline and wanted some more and kept continued playing. My penis kept getting harder and harder whenever viper said a voice line, and my girlfriend started to get concerned. The match ended, and I just noticed that my shorts got ripped off because of my massive boner that a valorant agent just caused. My girlfriend was really in the mood for sex so I decided to finally do whatever she wants me to do. We layed on the bed and she started playing some romantic sexy music, but it didn't turn me on a bit. So I played "VALORANT viper's voicelines" on YouTube and kept it on repeat, my boner suddenly came back. When I was banging her she started to get annoyed of the background video of vipers voiceline.So she turned it off, and I suddenly got pissed off. I didn't feel horny anymore when viper's voicelines stopped playing so I stopped banging her and just decided to masturbate to Sova instead and it worked, his sexy Russian voice turns me on so much that my penis bursted a stack of thick and sticky cum. Our relationship started going downhill because of me getting addicted to valorant agent porn. We didn't talk for long because of that scene. One month later, she decided to finally visit me on my house and she walked into my room. She saw me jacking off to killjoy porn and her face expression looks like she was disgusted with me. She yelled, "IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE DOING FOR THE WHOLE MONTH?" We had a really heated argument, and I eventually gave up because I didn't want my parents to scold me. We kept having a relationship even though it's very toxic. And 2 months later we decided to have sex but I didn't get turned on by her once. I said,"You should cosplay as Reyna that'll make my dick bigger." She cried, she had enough with my bullshit. She finally said, "What do you choose? Me or your valorant porn?" It was a really hard decision and I eventually said, "I choose valorant porn." She quickly got out of my house and blocked me in every social media because she didn't wanna contact me ever again. Valorant dicks and pussies was the only thing that kept me happy, and I didn't wanna lose that
TIFU by letting my boyfriend eat my ass.
So my boyfriend kept telling me how excited he gets when thinking about eating ass.
I’ve always been against it but his constant repetition got me wondering what it would feel like so we decided to give it a go.
During foreplay he asked me again if he could eat my ass and I said yes.
It felt so weird, got my abs tensing up.
While licking down there 🍑 he decided to start fingering it too, the saliva was working as lube so it wasn’t painful or anything but I was feeling like I was gonna poop.
I just ignored it and was just so lost pleasuring myself with my vibrator.
When I orgasmed, I heard my boyfriend shout as if he was in pain.
I was super stressed at this point, scared I might have pooped or something.
He took he face out and stared at me. It was covered in brown watery material and he ended up throwing up on me.
Guess I got food poisoning or something and ended up diarrhoea blasting him.
…
We discussed it after he had a shower. I wanted to cheer him up so I told him I enjoyed it except the poop part. He just sat there in shock for a while and told me he doesn’t want to eat my ass again for a while.
TL;DR I tried anal foreplay and ended up pooping in my boyfriend’s mouth.
Edit: As someone pointed out - “they were basically inducing peristalsis of both the inner and outer sphincter with the fingering and vibrator. Makes ya wanna poop.”
Good to know 👍
Edit 2: People who are saying that my boyfriend is toxic and manipulative clearly don’t know him.
I let him talk about his fantasies, it turns me on.
The world isn’t black and white and adults are capable of finding something previously unacceptable to them acceptable.
Edit 3: I keep getting spam from support saying someone reached out to them.
Just to make it clear, I’m not traumatised by this experience and find it slightly funny. No need to offer me emotional support in messages either 🙂
Hi reddit
Backstory, a few weeks ago my pregnant wife (27f) and I (28m) went to see a movie - Morbius. Around 5 minutes into the movie, her water broke with some contractions, so we left to rush to the hospital. long story short, we welcomed a new member to the family. We haven’t decided on a name at that point, and since her water broke while we were watching Morbius. We decided to name him Morbius.
After settling back home 2 weeks ago, and finally got some rest looking after young Morb. I saw that the movie has been trending lately online with good reviews, so i thought why not watch it with Morb. I purchased the blue ray copy off prime, and we watched it last night as a family.
So here comes the title, the movie was awful, and we both hated it. My wife and i want to rename our son, and we don’t know how and the process. If anyone could help, it’ll be great. We’re in vic australia
tdlr: named new born son Morbius and would like to rename him.
I went to a bar last week and saw this total morbette. I immediately morbed a little in my pants and decided to put my morb where my mouth is. I went up and sat my Morbussy on the stool next to her, and asked her if I knew her. Nah, you're too pretty. I'd remember your face. Tequila to remember, whiskey to forget. She was instantly morbing out her panties at the mere thought of morbing out with me. Then some anti-morber jerkop came up and said "Are you fucking quoting Morbius (2022) to pick up girls?" I panicked. I said "Would you like some whiskey, my friend?" and he started assaulting me. I morbed the hell out and morbed all over that guy and am now in federal prison for "Murder". Don't those detectives know it was a morbius reference? All in all, AITA?
Someone for the fucking life of me help my brother (22) won’t stop saying “ITS MORBING TIME!” he found these words on fb or something and said its stuck in his mind and everytime he wakes up, shits, sleeps, pisses, EVERYTHING he says “its morbing time!”
I’m losing my sanity, fuck you morbius. That was very un-morb